My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom when they thought we were asleep.
I'd hear my mother excitedly talking about how much she enjoyed cocks as they jumped around on the bed.
What surprised me though was, when we went to Spain she mentioned how cruel she thought bullfighting was. I never confronted her about the hypocrisy though.
I used to be a real ad
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Elon Musk could've given $5 billion to everyone in the world
Musk poured $44 billion into Twitter. The global population is 8 billion people. He could have given $5 billion to each individual and still had money left over. Most people's lives would be changed if they received a $5 billion check. But he squandered it all on Twitter.
we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
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WutFace crazy arms
twitchquotes:
╲⎝⧹╲⎝⧹ 
⧸⎠╱⧸⎠╱
⧸⎠╱⧸⎠╱
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Fortnite default dance 9
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⣶⣿⣿⠶
⣶⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤
⠀⠉⠶⣶⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣤⣀
⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠿⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⠀⠶⠿⠿
⠀⠀⠛⠛⠿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣉⠿⣿⠶
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠒
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠛⣭⣭⠉
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣭⣤⣿⠛
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣭
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⠿⠿⠿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠛
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣶
Fortnite Default Dance
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I draw Pot Of Ad!
twitchquotes:
I draw Pot Of Ad! This card allows me to show you two ads instead of one!
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