[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike? My friend is a developer at Blizzard and he invented Flamestrike. He has been getting spam letters in the mail threatening to "brofist" him. These spammers claim to be "insane" and "crazy" and "have exactly what they need to beat him." I am worried for him, please help. Thanks man.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Yearly dongers supply

twitchquotes: ヽ ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ Did you know: Most dongers—78 percent of the yearly dongers supply—is made into fedoras. Other industries, mostly electronics, medical, and dental, require about 12 percent. The remaining 10 percent of the yearly dongers supply is used in financial transactions. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Smash bros in the year 20XX

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Every official stream online has zero views because grassroots organizations have usurped all Esports streams. Nintendo is destitute and broke, their only source of income is through taxing sold copies of Melee, CRTs, and gamecubes. Society has evolved to the point that with a cybernetic implant, you can connect directly to netplay and shine on your opponent while broadcasting free of a DMCA complaint and a C&D letter from Nintendo. Doug Bowser is the last living human without an implant, and is found cold and naked, wondering why everyone is constantly talking about wavedashes.
twitch chat
December 2020

Super Smash Bros

Kissahomie

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣴⣼⣵⣾⣴⣤⣦⣄⣴⣶⣬⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿ ⢀⣿⣭⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡶⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡀⠄⠄ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⣯⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣕⡀ ⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠛⣼⣿⣿⣤⠘⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣇⠈⠺⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⣽⣿⣿⣳⣿⡌⠙⠛⠿⠛⢋⣛⣿⣿⠇⣠⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠿⠋⠄⠈⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣦⣶⠄⠻⢿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠻⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⣰⢟⣵⣿ ⠂⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⡶⣪⢶⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

Send nudes but fancy

Pardon me Madam, but I was curious as to what you look like under those tasteful fabrics you are wearing. Perhaps you would do me the honor of removing them and photographing your perfect skin so I can gaze upon your beauty?
January 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing