[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE

twitchquotes: Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE 🏃🚶 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 CONGA LINE 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 CONGA LINE 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 CONGA LINE 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 CONGA LINE 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

Hosty and Amaz

twitchquotes: "Hey Hosty, I've got some bad news." says Amaz to Hosty. "But I wasn't ghosting I swear!" he replies, sweating heavily. "It's alright, I won't fire you, as long as you do something for me." Hosty knows what Amaz wants. He bends over and lets Amaz have his way. Afterwards, as he cries on the bed, Amaz whispers in his ear, "I lied. You're fired..
twitch chat
January 2015
Amaz

Fungus wojak / Shroomjak / Shrigma male

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ascii art
July 2021

It's already priced in

twitchquotes: Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
twitch chat
April 2020

Little Donger and the BDC

twitchquotes: Qtpie I need help. I have a little donger so I am unable to join the BDC. Please send help and advice otherwise I will forever be a part of the small donger squad. Promote me from the SDS to the BDC please it is all I have ever wanted.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie
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