[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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48 year man from Somalia, sorry for bad England

twitchquotes: HELLO AM 48 YEAR MAN FROM SOMALIA. SORRY FOR BAD ENGLAND. I SELLED MY WIFE FOR INTERNET CONNECTION FOR PLAY "hearth stone" AND I WANT TO BECOME THE GOODEST PLAYER LIKE YOU I PLAY WITH 400 PING ON BRAZIL SERVER AND I AM RANK 23 ALREADY PLS NO COPY PASTE MY STORY
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March 2014
Reynad

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Anyone basing trades on technical analysis right now is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking technical analysis when they can't even do basic fraction arithmetic much less understand Ito Calculus. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a number you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not you deserve losing all and hanging yourself. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade shit you know about and feel still hasn't been spotted by the bandwagon of smooth brains on subreddits like this one or r/stocks . Or alternatively manipulate the market like the rich investors you look up to do. Warren Buffet's dad was a politician, if you think that shit didn't help that fat fuck then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about volatility and RSI. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in Hawaii with a fat titty chick not on Reddit posting "technical analysis".
February 2022

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Wow, that ACTUALLY killed me?

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November 2016
imaqtpie

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Hello Moonman or whatever your name is

twitchquotes: Hello Moonman or whatever your name is, I just wanted to tell you to please stop ruining my chat experience with these "smugs" and "smegs" and what not. Honestly, I find them absolutely infuriating to see in every chatroom I stumble upon. Fuck that dumb purple lady.
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November 2019
MOONMOON

im dropping my uwus all over the place

twitchquotes: ᵘʷᵘ oh frick ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ frick sorry guys ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ sorry im dropping ᵘʷᵘ my uwus all over the ᵘʷᵘ place ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ sorry
twitch chat
July 2019

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing