[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Yassuo ditches Trick2g

twitchquotes: Hey, Yassuo! Big fan of the stream, I can't believe you're not playing Yasuo as much anymore...RIP. I guess that's what happens when Yasuo gets gutted, lol. Anyways, I'm trying to learn to play Shaco. I just have a question about the skill build: Should I max Backstab like you backstabbed Trick, Deceive like you deceived Trick, or Hallucinate like you made Trick hallucinate about being able to play at Twitch Rivals with his friends?
twitch chat
November 2019
Yassuo

League of Legends

Hi Tyler, this is the riot balance team

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler, this is the riot balance team contacting you due to your expertise in the game known as League of Legends. We wanted to invite you here, to riot studios, to singlehandedly write the code for the next big patch, rebalancing the game anyway you want! we know youre a much better player, coder, and balancer of games than we are. Thank YOU T1!!!
twitch chat
April 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

Dadnad and Momnad

twitchquotes: hello son, Dadnad here. Please don't waste your life away in front of that computer playing some card game. Text that girl, Lea, and play that guitar for her. Did I ever tell you that's how I woo'd Momnad? Kids these days, don't let me down, son.
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad

My 13 year old son wants 5 dollars so he can "subscribe"

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, mom here, my 13 year old son wants 5 dollars so he can "subscribe". I dont know what that is, but a quick Google search shows Kripp subscribers are linked with NaCL overdose disorder. Can you explain this? - Sincerely, a concerned parent
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

salty

Walk down isle to Space Jam and merry Hafu

twitchquotes: Hello kripp, I am psychic peter pasterino who can predict the futurino. I have mind visioned that in 5 years you will walk down the isle to Space Jam and topkiss your bride, Hafu. There were many Well Mets and toasts with OJ. If you wish for this to come true, though, you must proclaim your true love for her soon before it is too laterino.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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