[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

She needs a man that can treat her right

twitchquotes: What the fuck man. I'm literally sitting here on the verge of tears. Slaving away in this dead end job saving up for the end of the month splash. I was this close. Maybe I should have done that overtime, if I could get her that money earlier I might have been able to convince her in the dono message. She needs a man that can treat her right, a man like me. I would open the car door for her EVERY TIME, I would pull out her chair at a restaurant, I would lay my twitch hoodie over puddles to protect her from the filth.
twitch chat
December 2020

Simps

Ice Poseidon

⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⠒⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⣠⣀⣀⡀⠄⠱⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣀⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣹⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⡤⠄⠁⠄⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⡄⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣼⣷⠄⣷⣾⠛⡉⠉⡓⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡤⠤⠤⠤⢤⡀⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠄⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣛⣩⣤⣄⠹⣤⣤⣀⣂⣠⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠄⠄⣿⡟⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠘⢿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⠋⠉⠛⠛⠻⣿⡿⠿⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⡟⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣏⢻⣦⣤⡘⠷⣴⣶⣧⣄⡠⠄⢀⣀⠏⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⠈⠄⢻⣿⣿⣶⡦⠤⠭⠤⠤⣾⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣧⡀⠄⠙⣿⣿⣇⡀⣀⠄⠿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠘⠘⠁⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
January 2019

Pikachu

░░░░░░░░▀████▀▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄█ ░░░░░░░░░░█▀░░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄░░░░▄▄▀▀█ ░░▄░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▄░░▄▀ ░▄▀░▀▄░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄▀ ▄▀░░░░█░░░░░█▀░░░▄█▀▄░░░░░░▄█ ▀▄░░░░░▀▄░░█░░░░░▀██▀░░░░░██▄█ ░▀▄░░░░▄▀░█░░░▄██▄░░░▄░░▄░░▀▀░█ ░░█░░▄▀░░█░░░░▀██▀░░░░▀▀░▀▀░░▄▀ ░█░░░█░░█░░░░░░▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀
September 2016

Pokemon

Oh so I’m a simp?

twitchquotes: Oh so I’m a simp? Complimenting women on Twitter makes me a simp? Supporting woman with a $99.99 subscription to her onlyfans makes me a simp? Visiting her and getting arrested makes me a simp? You’re right. It does make me a simp. (S)uper (I)ncredible (M)an (P)
twitch chat
April 2020

Simps

Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
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