[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Do British people even exist?

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
December 2020

British People

Classic

does anyone have that sneaky copy pasta

twitchquotes: does anyone have the copy pasta where sneaky finally wins worlds but it turns out hes actually in a mental hospital and league died 10 years ago
twitch chat
February 2019
Sneaky

League of Legends

Fortnite default dance 2

⠀⠀⠀⣀⣶⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠒⣛⣭ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⠿⣿⣶ ⠀⣤⣿⠤⣭⣿⣿ ⣤⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⠀⣀ ⠀⣀⠤⣿⣿⣶⣤⣒⣛ ⠉⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⠉ ⠀⠀⣭⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿ ⠀⣶⣿⣿⠛⠀⣿⣿ ⣤⣿⣿⠉⠤⣿⣿⠿ ⣿⣿⠛⠀⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⠀⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⣿⣿⣶⠀⣿⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⠛⣿⠀⠿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣉⣿⠀⣿⣿ ⠀⠶⣶⠿⠛⠀⠉⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⠿
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer

twitchquotes: ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) OVERCONFIDENCE IS A SLOW AND INSIDIOUS KILLER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
July 2015

Classic

80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing