[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage

twitchquotes: A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage far too small for himself. Malnourished because of his "vegan" diet, his ribs are clearly visible through his coat. He barely has the energy to move, let alone enjoy life. Yet, he knows there's hope. He knows he could draw attention to himself, as he hears Kripp constantly talking to someone. In a single act of defiance, Dex barks to draw attention to his dire situation. "Quiet, Dex" is his only reply as Kripp ignores his pleas yet again.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Vapogender

twitchquotes: VapeNation Vapogender: A gender that sort of feels like smoke. One can see it and understand it on a shallow level but if one tried to go deeper it disappears, and one is left with no gender and only tiny wisps of the gender one thought it was. VapeNation
twitch chat
June 2016
Sneaky

VapeNation

Kripp and G2A

twitchquotes: "I won't do it." says Kripp."You guys are rotten scammers selling stolen keys." The G2A dealer stands in the corner, face obscured by the shadows. "Are you sure?" he says with a toothy grin. Kripp nods. The G2A dealer steps out of the shadow, and Kripp is shocked to see it is none other than Scamaz. "I give the order, and Rania and Pupparian die. I've already taken Cattarian as punishment. Now sign the deal." Kripp sobs as he signs, and hopes his viewers will one day understand his plight.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

The Black Rat, Rattus Rattus

twitchquotes: The Black Rat, Rattus Rattus, was first described by Henrik Ahnberg in his 18th century work “A Dong’s guide to Dota”. An elusive and hardy creature, the rat excels at damaging structures and retreating at the first sign of danger, only to begin its attack anew once the threat has passed. Unlike many of his peers, Ahnberg greatly respected the rat, finding many of its features similar to his own. His love for the rat became so great that he soon left the world of men and descended into the sewers to live among the rats, eventually becoming their king.
twitch chat
March 2015
AdmiralBulldog

Dota 2

monkaShh

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣶⣶⣿⣶⣶⣤⣀⠄⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣿⠡⢟⡿⠿⣛⣛⣛⠿⢿⡆⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣃⣸⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣋⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡄⣩⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣭⣉⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣿⡟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣭⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⣮⡙⠟⢛⣭⣭⣶⣶⣶⣮⣭⣄⠄ ⣴⣸⣿⠑⣛⣿⠟⢩⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡋⠉⣿⣿⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⡋⠛⣿⣧ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣭⣝⡻⠿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣵⠿⢟⡑⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠭⠶⠟⠃ ⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣙⣛⣒⠠⢤⣤⡔⢚⣛⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣋⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣎⡙⢛⣋⣉⣉⣅⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣭⡝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣩⣭⣭⣭⣛⣛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⡇⢸⣿⡿⠿⢛⣃⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢾⣿⣯⣭⣍⣛⣛⣛⡻⠶⠶⣮⣭⢡⣿⣿⢇⣭⣵⣶⠾⠿⠋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢿⣦⣤⣭⣭⣭⣝⣛⡻⠿⠿⠿⠶⠶⢸⣿⣿⢠⣤⣤⣶⠾⠛⠄⠄ ⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⡿⠰⠖⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣭⣕⠒⠲⣭⣭⣝⣛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣭⠄⣿⡟⢣⣴⣾⠟⢂⣤⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣮⣭⣭⣭⣍⣛⣛⣉⣭⣭⣭⣶⢸⣿⣿⣿⣯⣴⠞⣛⣭⣶⣷⠄
November 2021

Pepe

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