[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Intelligest response to "Who asked?"

What if somebody did ask, huh, what then? I'm sure they were quite satisfied with the answer. But you, no, you cannot for the life of you find a way to somehow think about what someone else thinks or feels. When you imply that nobody asked, you're talking solely about yourself. The world doesn't revolve around you. Try to find the simple joys of life instead of wasting perhaps the best years of your life away, sitting in your shit smeared, cheeto dust covered, cum bespeckled ergonomic office chair. Maybe start working out, think about somebody other than you, secure yourself a date, anything will work, so long as you get the fuck outside and stop asking "who asked" every 2 fucking minutes, because quite frankly nobody asked for your opinion as well. You're but a speck of extra stinky shit in a pile of manure, that's all the significance you have in this world, but you can change that with 4 simple words: Shutting the fuck up. Thank you and have a good day
November 2021

Who Asked?

Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A. It has come to my attention that you brutally brofisted a small defenseless Kitten in its adorable face live on your stream moments ago. If you do not apologize and rub his little tum tum for 20 minutes on stream, I will be forced to punish you to the fullest extent of the law. You've been warned...
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Viewbot #21701 reporting for duty

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid HEY MrDestructoid KRIPP MrDestructoid VIEWBOT #21701 MrDestructoid REPORTING MrDestructoid FOR MrDestructoid DUTY MrDestructoid
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Viewbots

MaSsan is an anagram for Assman

twitchquotes: ༼ ◔ ͜ʖ ◔ ༽ MaSsan is an anagram for Assman ༼ ◔ ͜ʖ ◔ ༽ ༼ ◔ ͜ʖ ◔ ༽ MaSsan is an anagram for Assman ༼ ◔ ͜ʖ ◔ ༽
twitch chat
October 2015
MaSsanSC

This is Trump News reporting

twitchquotes: This is Trump News reporting. A new craze is sweeping Greece where submissives, known as 'Subs' are being brutally brofisted for only 5 dollars! The man responsible for this is currently in hiding under a pile of pizza boxes.
twitch chat
May 2015
Trump
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