[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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I fucked Up DVD

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
April 2022

Classic

KKona

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣭⣥⣶⣶⣶⣦⣭⣭⣛⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢹⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⢀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⢸⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣭⣄⣀⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠉⢸⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⠆⣿ ⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣄⣀⣴⣶⣆⡀⠄⠄⠿⢿⣶⣿⣿⣰⢸ ⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⢰⢸ ⣇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢻⣷⡾⣯⡉⠛⠉⠙⢩⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣾ ⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠳⠿⠇⠄⠄⠄⣼⡃⠄⠈⢿⣿⠏⢡⣿ ⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢠⣀⠒⠲⠶⠶⠶⠖⠄⢀⠄⣴⣿⠟⠄⣾⣿ ⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⠄⠄⢴⣿⡏⠉⠁⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣧⡨⡻⡟⠛⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⠘⠉⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠟⠄⠙⠋⠄⠄⠄⠠⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
July 2019

I hope Seraphine wins xD

twitchquotes: I hope Seraphine wins xD. I'm a Sera main and she's just so fun!! People get so trolled by the charm, and her tweets are so cute like when she writes about anxiety LOL! She's super random but also smarter than she looks, just like me xD
twitch chat
October 2020

League of Legends

Okay, listen up mods. I’m done with your oppressiveness

twitchquotes: Okay, listen up mods. I’m done with your oppressiveness. I try day in and day out to spam dank copy-pasta in chat and what do I get in return? Just the same old, 10 minute time out from you fun-suckers. Chat is filled with just meaningful dialogue and constructive feedback. I’m done. I’m out. And I swear to god, don’t even think about deleting this message.
twitch chat
February 2017

MODS

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