[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Did you ever hear the tragedy of Open the Waygate?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Open the Waygate? I thought not. It’s not a story the f2p btw would tell you. It’s a P2W legendary. Open the Waygate was a Quest from Journey to Un’Goro, so powerful and so astounding it could use Time Warp to influence the end turn button to create another turn… It had such a knowledge of the spaghetti code that it could even keep the worthy opponents it faced from having a turn. The spaghetti code is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be imbalanced. It became so powerful… the only thing it was afraid of was losing its power, which eventually, of course, it did. Unfortunately, it drew every card from its deck, then its worthy opponent set it to one health. Ironic. It could stop others from drawling, but not itself.
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We politely ask for the program 'text-to-speech'

twitchquotes: (╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Yanyuk we politely ask for the program 'text-to-speech" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)\
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Team Liquid visited an orphanage in Taipei

twitchquotes: After their game, Team Liquid visited an orphanage in Taipei. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope", said Charlie, age 6.
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I sexually Identify as a Bastion

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Bastion. Ever since I was a transistor I dreamed of being nanoboosted and firing cannonballs on the disgusting enemy team. People tell me that being a Siege Automaton is impossible but I don't care, I'm overpowered. I’m having a plastic surgeon install treads, a gattling gun and a nanoboost on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me BOOSTED and respect my right to take 35% less damage 100% of the time. If not, you're an omnic-phobe and need to check your human privileges
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If kripp has million number of fans i am one of them

twitchquotes: If kripp has million number of fans i am one of them 🙋🏻. if kripp has ten fans i am one of them. if kripp have only one fan and that is me 🙋🏼🙋🏽🙋🏾. if kripp has no fans, that means i am no more on the earth 😢. if world against the kripp, i am against the world ❌🌍☄️. i love #kripp till my last breath.. 😍 .. Die Hard fan of kripp 🤓🌹. Hit Like If you Think kripp Best player & Smart In the world 🤠
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp
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Text-to-Speech Playing