[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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I have a REAL and GENUINE relationship with my streamers

twitchquotes: OMG this guy is so wrong. As a longtime sub and donator, I have a REAL and GENUINE relationship with my streamers. When I send them donos they thank me personally on stream so I'm pretty sure they know who I am haha
twitch chat
June 2020

Simps

Pump the brightness and feel have sex with videos

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ ｂｅｄ ｍｙ ｌａｐｔｏｐ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ＹｏｕＴｕｂｅ． Ｉ ｐｕｍｐ ｔｈｅ ｂｒｉｇｈｔｎｅｓｓ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｖｉｄｅｏ ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｒｉａｎ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Smash Ball

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣴⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣦⣾⢟⢁⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢟⣿⣿⣾⠟⠁⠀⣠⣾⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⣼⣧⠀⢺⣿⣿⡃⠀⣴⣿⡟⠁⣼⠅⣠⣿⡗⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣧⣠⣾⣿⣿⣆⣼⣿⣿⣡⢀⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿⣷⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣀⣤⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣤⣿⣿⠋⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢿⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣼⡏⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡉⢀⣀⣤⣾⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠄ ⢻⣿⣧⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡁⠀ ⠈⢻⣿⡍⠉⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣯⣴⣿⣥⣶⡾⢟⠉⠀⠀ ⠀⢨⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠻⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⢿⣷⣤⡾⠯⠁⠀
ascii art
August 2019

Super Smash Bros

If two virgins fuck...

If two virgins fuck and take each other's virginity, shouldn't they still have one each? Because, think about it... The definition of take is to capture and receive something, like, if little Bob got 10 dollars and I rudely took it from him, he'd most likely cry, but I'd also gain 10 dollars since I took 10 dollars from him, no? Shouldn't it be the same with virginity, but hopefully, just without the crying? You take a virginty and lose one in the process, so it should be plus-minus zero, I should still have one virginty left? So if I only fuck virgins, will I be a virgin forever? And can I have multiple virginities if I take from other virgins?
September 2021

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

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