[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Response to someone correcting spelling

whats that? holy shit. holy fucking shit. you fucking genius. did you actually just correct someone's spelling? you fucking madlad. i can't believe i just witnessed one of the greatest achievements in human history right now. i think im gonna cry, im so excited. to be honest, i would suck your dick to reward you for your HUGE contribution to the human race if the line wasnt so long. you know what? fuck it. ill let you fuck my wife. ill pay you to fuck her. only for the slim chance that one of her kids will have a small part of your magnificent iq. ill mortgage my fucking house just so you could have 15 minutes with her, while hoping that your MASSIVE cock won't rip her in half. after that, we should start a religion for you. fuck jesus, the only thing this dick did is resurrect himself. you are entitled to the praise he's getting. we should make you immortal. losing you would mean stopping the human evolution and we would all revert to monkeys, not that we are more than monkeys in your majestic presence. I suggest we go to the UN and tell them to hand over all their authority to you, im sure you can unite all the people of the world just with a single swing of your cock, making the entire population wet in the process. just before that one more thing: can you shut the fuck up? nobody cares about that fucking typo you single chromosomed retarded gnome. I bet you think you are so fucking smart and witty after pointing something that didnt bother anyone. God, you are fucking pretentious, i bet you actually believed all of the text above. Did you think i would let you fuck my wife? She is only 12 you sick paedophile. Im calling the police so you could be tortured for eternity while your remains will be forcibly fed to everybody from your family or anyone even remotely related to you while they are forced to anally fuck a penguin. no, seriously do you think i'm joking? i'll come to your house and fuck your ass with a cactus. not that you would feel it after all the things you already had up there. you're a fucking twat that doesnt contribute to society and you deserve to die slowly.
October 2021

What is the most powerful card in Hearthstone?

twitchquotes: What is the most powerful card in Hearthstone? Credit Card.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

Sense of pride and accomplishment

twitchquotes: The ๐Ÿ’ฐ intent ๐Ÿ’ฐ is ๐Ÿ’ฐ to ๐Ÿ’ฐ provide ๐Ÿ’ฐ players ๐Ÿ’ฐ with ๐Ÿ’ฐ a ๐Ÿ’ฐ sense ๐Ÿ’ฐ of ๐Ÿ’ฐ pride ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ accomplishment ๐Ÿ’ฐ for ๐Ÿ’ฐ unlocking ๐Ÿ’ฐ different ๐Ÿ’ฐ heroes. ๐Ÿ’ฐ As ๐Ÿ’ฐ for ๐Ÿ’ฐ cost, ๐Ÿ’ฐ we ๐Ÿ’ฐ selected ๐Ÿ’ฐ initial ๐Ÿ’ฐ values ๐Ÿ’ฐ based ๐Ÿ’ฐ upon ๐Ÿ’ฐ data ๐Ÿ’ฐ from ๐Ÿ’ฐ the ๐Ÿ’ฐ Open ๐Ÿ’ฐ Beta ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ other ๐Ÿ’ฐ adjustments ๐Ÿ’ฐ made ๐Ÿ’ฐ to ๐Ÿ’ฐ milestone ๐Ÿ’ฐ rewards ๐Ÿ’ฐ before ๐Ÿ’ฐ launch. ๐Ÿ’ฐ Among ๐Ÿ’ฐ other ๐Ÿ’ฐ things, ๐Ÿ’ฐ we're ๐Ÿ’ฐ looking ๐Ÿ’ฐ at ๐Ÿ’ฐ average ๐Ÿ’ฐ per-player ๐Ÿ’ฐ credit ๐Ÿ’ฐ earn ๐Ÿ’ฐ rates ๐Ÿ’ฐ on ๐Ÿ’ฐ a ๐Ÿ’ฐ daily ๐Ÿ’ฐ basis, ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ we'll ๐Ÿ’ฐ be ๐Ÿ’ฐ making ๐Ÿ’ฐ constant ๐Ÿ’ฐ adjustments ๐Ÿ’ฐ to ๐Ÿ’ฐ ensure ๐Ÿ’ฐ that ๐Ÿ’ฐ players ๐Ÿ’ฐ have ๐Ÿ’ฐ challenges ๐Ÿ’ฐ that ๐Ÿ’ฐ are ๐Ÿ’ฐ compelling, ๐Ÿ’ฐ rewarding, ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ of ๐Ÿ’ฐ course ๐Ÿ’ฐ attainable ๐Ÿ’ฐ via ๐Ÿ’ฐ gameplay. We ๐Ÿ’ฐ appreciate ๐Ÿ’ฐ the ๐Ÿ’ฐ candid ๐Ÿ’ฐ feedback, ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ the ๐Ÿ’ฐ passion ๐Ÿ’ฐ the ๐Ÿ’ฐ community ๐Ÿ’ฐ has ๐Ÿ’ฐ put ๐Ÿ’ฐ forth ๐Ÿ’ฐ around ๐Ÿ’ฐ the ๐Ÿ’ฐ current ๐Ÿ’ฐ topics ๐Ÿ’ฐ here ๐Ÿ’ฐ on ๐Ÿ’ฐ Reddit, ๐Ÿ’ฐ our ๐Ÿ’ฐ forums ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ across ๐Ÿ’ฐ numerous ๐Ÿ’ฐ social ๐Ÿ’ฐ media ๐Ÿ’ฐ outlets. Our ๐Ÿ’ฐ team ๐Ÿ’ฐ will ๐Ÿ’ฐ continue ๐Ÿ’ฐ to ๐Ÿ’ฐ make ๐Ÿ’ฐ changes ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ monitor ๐Ÿ’ฐ community ๐Ÿ’ฐ feedback ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ update ๐Ÿ’ฐ everyone ๐Ÿ’ฐ as ๐Ÿ’ฐ soon ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ as ๐Ÿ’ฐ often ๐Ÿ’ฐ as ๐Ÿ’ฐ we ๐Ÿ’ฐ can. ๐Ÿ’ฐ
twitch chat
November 2017

These aren't the dongs you're looking for

twitchquotes: เผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบ เผฝ ใƒฝ( อกยฐโ•ญอœส–โ•ฎอกยฐ )๏พ‰ These aren't the dongs you're looking for (โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ)(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ)
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
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