[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I am wondering if you are selling cat meat

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Morosan. Hello. I am wondering if you are selling cat meat. I hear from reliable swords that you cook cat regular. Please give me some, I give you my wife. Thank
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Running dog

โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ•ฒโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ•ฒโ–•โ–‹โ–•โ–‹โ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฒโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ”ˆโ–โ”ˆโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–†โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ•ฒโ•ฑโ”ˆโ•ฐโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ•ฏโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฒโ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–•โ–”โ•ฐโ”โ•ฏโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ–”โ•ฒโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฑโ–”โ•ฑโ–”โ–”โ•ฒโ•ฒโ•ฒโ•ฒโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฒโ•ฑโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฒโ–‚โ•ฒโ–‚โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฒโ•ฑโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ
ascii art
November 2014

Mr Qtpie apepars to be a boosted bonobo

twitchquotes: monkaS โ˜๏ธ I-I hate to point this out mr qtpie b-but you appear to be a boosted bonobo monkaS ๐Ÿ‘‰
twitch chat
February 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

This is agent Kappachino from the Kappa agency

twitchquotes: Hi this is agent Kappachino from the Kappa agency. I would like to inform you that we have detected the KPM (Kappa Per Minute) to be far below the minimum level of 100 KPM. Please fix this by typing Kappa or Kappa agents will be dispatched to donger this stream
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
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