[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Among us crewmate running ass

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠟⠛⠿⠻⠿⠿⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢙⣨⣥⣶⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣅⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⢀⡴⠟⠋⢉⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⠉⠻⣿⣧⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠁⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢻⣿⣇⠝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡀⣼⡿⠟⠀⠙⣛⣬⠱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢀⠄⠁⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⡆⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣀⠙⣛⣛⣻⠛⠋⣉⣢⣤⣾⠃⣰⡄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⢹⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠸⣷⠀⢻⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠻⠇⢈⠁⠀⠀⠲⠠⠞⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⢤⠀⠀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡉⣻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣳⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠐⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡇⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢃⡿⠿⠛⡋⣀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢁⣠⣿⡦⠐⠀⢈⡙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢃⣤⣤⡀⠻⣿⣇⣠⣴⡿⠄⠹⣧⡸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢠⣾⣿⣿⡿⢋⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⢿⡿⠋⣠⣤⣀⠈⣡⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠅⣀⣈⠁⣰⣿⣿⡿⠋⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣂⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣬⣅⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Kripp's the best arena player in the world

twitchquotes: All you idiots pretend like Kripp misplays, but really you know he's the best arena player in the world and that he hasn't made a misplay in the last 6 months, he just gets super unlucky you ignorant fools. You guys are so dumb that you'll probably copy and paste this message too, you morons.
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

I'm a level 20, diamond 1 smurf who mains ADC Taric

twitchquotes: What’s so special about this? Seriously, i am a level 20, diamond 1 smurf who mains adc taric. I was playing with a Morganna support vs a katarina, she did the same exact thing. Seriously, i see all morg mains make simple plays like these. Nothing INSANE about this basic hig-elo play, you cardboard scrubs. 
twitch chat
November 2014
Trick2g

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

Hey Kripp, how's it going, totemic might here

twitchquotes: ◥█̆◤ Hey Kripp, how's it going, totemic might here. I would just like to ask if you would build a totemic might deck where you use your totem and make it mighty for 0 mana. Thanks!◥█̆◤
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing