[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

My sister bet 100 dollars that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti

twitchquotes: My sister bet 100 dollars that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v2

It's Cinco de mayo... 👀🌮🎉 but all I want 🙏🏻 is cinco DICKS 🌯 in my May-OUTH 😩👅💦 Today the SEXicans 😍🇲🇽 beat the French 😒🇫🇷 at the Battle of Puebla 🔫☠ and now you're gonna get your piñata beat 😜😩 with a huge stick 😳🎉 but ❗️ONLY❗️ if you send 📲 this to 5️⃣ amigos 👬 you'd cross borders ➡️ for 👌🏻💯 Get 5️⃣ back 🔙 and you'll find the Juan for you tonight ❤️☺️😘
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

Annoyed Anime Girl

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣎⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⠏⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⡈⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⢸⠀⠈⢳⣶⣤⣄⠀⠈⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⣼⡇⠀⠘⠻⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣀⡀⠌⠀⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⡏⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⡿⠋⢰⢠⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢷⡃⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣯⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣼⣿⡄⠀⠈⠀⢑⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣴⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠙⢿⠃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣟⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠠⠴⠀⠀⠀⠿⠿⠿⠧⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠃⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠟⠁⠀
April 2020

Reynad keeps escaped walruses from the local zoo

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ Rᴇʏɴᴀᴅ! I ᴀᴍ Dᴀɴ Gᴜʟ, ᴏᴡɴᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴄᴀʟ ᴢᴏᴏ. Wʜɪʟᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴡᴇ ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇᴅ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴅɪsᴛᴜʀʙɪɴɢ sᴏᴜɴᴅs ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪᴄ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴇsᴄᴀᴘᴇᴅ ᴡᴀʟʀᴜsᴇs. Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀʟʀᴜsᴇs ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ 24 ʜᴏᴜʀs, ᴡᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ Tᴡɪᴛᴄʜ sʜᴜᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ. I'ᴍ ʙᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing