[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'βˆšΟ€3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Un'Goro volcano board copypasta

twitchquotes: monkaS πŸ‘‰ πŸ₯ πŸ€ 🐒 πŸ€ ☘ = πŸŒ‹
twitch chat
June 2017

Hearthstone

This guy's such a bad player!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ "This guy's such a bad player!” β˜‘ β€œYou seen my deck guys, there was nothing I could've done” β˜‘ "How am I losing against these NOOBS" β˜‘ β€œThis is hearthstone guys” β˜‘ "I lost" β˜‘ β€œHe played like trash and got lucky” β˜‘ β€œFUCKIN' EH” β˜‘
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

TIME TO MINE MORE MONEY FOR TWITCH

twitchquotes: ⛏ ⛏ FeelsBadMan πŸ’΅ TIME TO MINE MORE MONEY FOR TWITCH ⛏ FeelsBadMan πŸ’΅ TIME TO MINE MORE MONEY FOR TWITCH ⛏ FeelsBadMan πŸ’΅ TIME TO MINE MORE MONEY FOR TWITCH ⛏ FeelsBadMan πŸ’΅
twitch chat
October 2017
TwitchPresents

YuGiOh Ad Marathon

do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed

do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed when he poos out eggs in front of mario??? sorry if this ofends anyone but i thought it was a funny thing haha. and i would like to know if any of you have any pics of yoshi pooping an egg while he looks nervous or embarrassed i just want to see it for a few laughs haha. another thing i am wondering is what do you think the eggs smell like haha im just curious for laughs haha i would like to smell them
July 2019

Super Smash Bros

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing