[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Listen to me, chat. You have a problem

twitchquotes: Listen to me, chat. You have a problem. We both know you're depressed, anxious, and unhealthy in general. You spend all day on Twitch enjoying games vicariously through others and spamming copypastas in chat. This has to stop. I'm asking you NOT to copy and paste this message, but go outside for a change. Get a new hobby. Make some friends. Turn over a new leaf. It's your only hope at this point.
twitch chat
April 2018

Sorry, I dropped my chess set

twitchquotes: โ™— โ™˜ โ™Ÿ โ™› โ™• โ™œ โ™ โ™ž โ™Ÿโ™™โ™— โ™˜ โ™Ÿ โ™› โ™• โ™œ โ™ โ™ž Sorry, I've dropped my chess set โ™— โ™˜ โ™Ÿ โ™› โ™• โ™œ โ™ โ™ž โ™Ÿโ™™โ™— โ™˜ โ™Ÿ โ™› โ™• โ™œ โ™ โ™ž โ™Ÿโ™™โ™— โ™˜ โ™Ÿ โ™› โ™• โ™œ โ™ž โ™Ÿโ™› โ™™โ™— โ™˜
twitch chat
September 2014
imaqtpie

what is the point of spamming in chat?

twitchquotes: what is the point of spamming in chat?? all you do is send some pixels to some other guy in his 30's who is pretending to be an idiot... wow what an accomplishment ๓ €€
twitch chat
January 2022

I hate Twitch Chat

Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
May 2021

Team Solo Mid

โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
January 2015

League of Legends

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