[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hello my beautiful goddess Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello my beautiful goddess Kripp. I saw your stream and figured I'd try writing you. You are astoundingly beautiful to me. It would be a pleasure and a privilege getting to know you. I'd love to find out if you are as beautiful inside as you are out. Hope to hear from you soon, sincerely *nazi mod*, your friendly neighborhood white knight.
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

MODS

I once had sleep paralysis

twitchquotes: i once had sleep paralysis and i imagined Kripparian slowly slithering up to me and i felt the brush of his wirey beard press against my chest and his boulder-like face was a miillimeter away from mine and he whispered "..He had the perfect cerds" then drained all my RNG power right out of my chest. I cried for days.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

My son ๐Ÿ™‡was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son ๐Ÿ™‡was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. ๐Ÿ’ฆ Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
May 2019

The feel when your favorite streamer is a feeder

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan THAT FEEL FeelsBadMan WHEN FeelsBadMan YOUR FeelsBadMan FAVORITE FeelsBadMan STREAMER FeelsBadMan IS A FEEDER FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
March 2016
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Please use the code Tempo to save 3% off...

twitchquotes: BibleThump Andrey Yanuk otherwise known as Reynad has passed away this Saturday's afternoon. He was ambushed by a group of dongers in an alley, and stabbed with a kniferino made out of a salt shaker. His last words were "please use the code "Tempo" to save 3% off the funeral costs and bury me in my tempostorm tshirt". Rest in peace pepperoni cappuccino pistachio bro. You shall be missed. Please no copy pasterino cappuccino
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

sellout

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