[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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LEC aka Legendary Elite Conference

twitchquotes: LEC - aka โ€œLegendary Elite Conference,โ€ is a League for Riot Games that is often acclaimed for its limitless pool of talent and innovative gameplay. It is specifically known for embarrassing a certain minor region in the fastest MSI Finals ever.
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

Patrick Star

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–’โ–’โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
July 2015

Artosis is glad Kripp is a sellout like him

twitchquotes: ๏ผท๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ ๏ผญ๏ผฅ๏ผด ๏ผซ๏ผฒ๏ผฉ๏ผฐ๏ผฐ๏ผŒ ๏ผฉ๏ผด๏ผ‡๏ผณ ๏ผญ๏ผฅ ๏ผก๏ผฒ๏ผด๏ผฏ๏ผณ๏ผฉ๏ผณ๏ผŽ ๏ผฉ๏ผ‡๏ผญ ๏ผง๏ผฌ๏ผก๏ผค ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผ‡๏ผฒ๏ผฅ ๏ผช๏ผฏ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผง ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผท๏ผก๏ผน ๏ผฏ๏ผฆ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผด๏ผŽ ๏ผฃ๏ผฏ๏ผฎ๏ผด๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผต๏ผฅ ๏ผข๏ผฅ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผง ๏ผก ๏ผฃ๏ผก๏ผณ๏ผต๏ผก๏ผฌ ๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผด ๏ผฌ๏ผฉ๏ผซ๏ผฅ ๏ผญ๏ผฅ ๏ผก๏ผฎ๏ผค ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผ‡๏ผฌ๏ผฌ ๏ผง๏ผฒ๏ผฏ๏ผท ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผด๏ผฏ ๏ผก ๏ผช๏ผฅ๏ผท ๏ผฎ๏ผฏ๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผค ๏ผง๏ผก๏ผญ๏ผฅ๏ผฒ ๏ผช๏ผก๏ผฃ๏ผซ๏ผฅ๏ผด ๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผด
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Rania came to the wrong dongerhood

twitchquotes: เผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบ เผฝยบู„อŸยบ เผฝยบู„อŸยบ เผฝ YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD, RANIA เผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบ เผฝยบู„อŸยบ เผฝยบู„อŸยบ เผฝ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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