[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
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More Copypastas

Why are we rioting?

twitchquotes: ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ riot ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨

"Soul" in any sense, metaphorical, spiritual or religious, does not exist

"Soul" in any sense, metaphorical, spiritual or religious, does not exist. What simpletons experience, specifically in the sense of a game having a "soul" is a feeling of comfort, enjoyment and fulfillment (among other positive feelings). Those simpletons, usually rarely experience such feeling, especially outside of gaming, and cannot comprehend that non simpletons can find positive feelings and emotion in many games (as well outside of gaming). You're a prime example of such creature, and the most fascinating part is you do not even understand or comprehend how wasted and useless your mind is. Truly a wonder to behold and a warning for all parents.
June 2021

My husband is the moderator for a few different subreddits, and he genuinely thinks it’s a job

my husband refuses to look for a job even though I think it would be good for him (And we could use the additional income), but he just says he’s, β€œgot too much on his plate already”. That being monitoring these stupid subreddits. And Everytime I bring it up he claims what he’s doing is unpaid labor similar to that of a homemaker. But he doesn’t clean or cook or do any of that the way he used to. He just monitors his stupid subreddits. I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I want to leave him because I believe I may not be able to reach him.
November 2021

Reddit

MODS

You've been gnomed

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October 2018

Classic

Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos create Biff Gatezos

May 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing