[Copypasta] I was worried all the copium mines had run dry

twitchquotes: I was worried all the copium mines had run dry, that our reckless over-mining of such a precious resource had rendered it lost to time. But here comes our lord and savior [insert streamer here], who has managed to make this once limited resource renewable. Thank you sir. Our children will build statues to honor your ingenuity.
twitch chat
October 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Mad Bomber Diary

twitchquotes: Mad Bomber Diary 11/11/14: Dear Diary, Kripp has played me 200th time today, he always keeps me for his greediest plays like I'm one of his prosterinos. I shall take this torment no more, I demand that he coins me out on an empty board like an honest minion from now on. Pls no copy pasterino my story
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

you're so mean to chapanya

twitchquotes: you're so mean to chapanya, and it seems sometimes that it actually gets to him, like just then in COD he started being more quiet and not really responding to the team, why you suck an asshole qt.
twitch chat
December 2018
imaqtpie

hey guys, ninja sub here, I am hardstuck gold

twitchquotes: hey guys, ninja sub here, I am hardstuck gold and i loveeee fortnite! all the cool kids at my school play it, and i subbed to ninja because he told me to, and he has lots of viewers haHAA
twitch chat
July 2018
Ninja

Smoke weed everyday

twitchquotes: ╭━━━╮╱╱╱╱╱╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃╰━━┳╮╭┳━━┫┃╭┳━━╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╰━━╮┃╰╯┃╭╮┃╰╯┫┃━┫╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃╰━╯┃┃┃┃╰╯┃╭╮┫┃━┫╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╰━━━┻┻┻┻━━┻╯╰┻━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╭╮╭╮╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃┃┃┃┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃┃┃┃┃┣━━┳━━┳━╯┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃╰╯╰╯┃┃━┫┃━┫╭╮┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╰╮╭╮╭┫┃━┫┃━┫╰╯┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╱╰╯╰╯╰━━┻━━┻━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╭━━━╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮ ┃╭━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃ ┃╰━━┳╮╭┳━━┳━┳╮╱╭┳━╯┣━━┳╮╱╭╮┃┃ ┃╭━━┫╰╯┃┃━┫╭┫┃╱┃┃╭╮┃╭╮┃┃╱┃┃╰╯ ┃╰━━╋╮╭┫┃━┫┃┃╰━╯┃╰╯┃╭╮┃╰━╯┃╭╮ ╰━━━╯╰╯╰━━┻╯╰━╮╭┻━━┻╯╰┻━╮╭╯╰╯ ╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭━╯┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╭━╯┃ ╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╰━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╰━━╯
twitch chat
June 2016
imaqtpie

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing