[Copypasta] Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk

Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk. This is proven by the name "Alvin and the Chipmunks", as you can see, Alvin is separated from the chipmunks, suggesting that Alvin is an entirely different species, making him an "imposter" amongst the others. Also, in "The Chipettes", Brittney has the strongest resemblance to Alvin, so why is it not called "Brittney and the Chipettes". So all that proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk. Not to mention that Alvin wears red, and I'm not sure about you, but that seems awfully sus to me. In the video game "Among us", the color red is was the birth of the obnoxious catchphrase, "red sus", being that the color red in the game is a stereotype that they are the imposter. While that might be unrelated, keep in mind that Alvin wears red too, and he is also the imposter amongst the other chipmunks. So this proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk, or anything like that. Alvin is just a sussy amogus imposter.
October 2021
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More Copypastas

Ben Shapiro ordering pizza

Hello, is this Pizza Hut? Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not. Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah. Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet. Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you. Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style. And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.
August 2021

Ben Shapiro

Big eyes WeirdChamp

⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⣴⣾⣿⡟⠋⢁⣩⣭⣭⣭⣝⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⡇⠄ ⢠⣿⣿⣯⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣷⡌⠛⣿⣿⣿⡿⠫⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡍⢣⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡟⣁⡀⠄⢹⣿⣿⣠⣿⣿⣿⡠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠈⠙⣿⣼⠄ ⢀⣿⣿⣿⣇⠈⢿⣷⡀⠄⢈⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠛⣿⣿⣿⡄⠉⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠙⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣍⣫⣭⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀ ⡆⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⡿⠿⣻⣿⣿⣦⡉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⢛⣿⣎⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢠⣾ ⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⣁⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣀⡀⠄⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣆⠉⢿⣿⡟⢃⣿⣿ ⣿⡀⠄⠄⠠⣿⡄⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠉⠍⠉⠻⠿⠯⠽⠛⠿⠈⠋⢠⣾⣿⠃⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣶⣶⣶⣤⣔⣲⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠒⣠⣤⣤⣤⣿⡯⡓⢰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⡉⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⣀⡀⢀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2019

Another extremely unjust loss

twitchquotes: Once again, Kripp, you suffer another extremely unjust loss. I have no idea why you keep losing game after game, even though you possess superb drafting and world-class card game decision making skills. There's clearly something not right and I'm betting that someone at Blizzard may be a little jealous of you.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Type KEKW to send laughter and positive vibes

twitchquotes: ────────────────────────────────── TwitchVotes The streamer needs your help, chat! Type KEKW to help support him by sending laughter and positive vibes his way! ──────────────────────────────────
twitch chat
August 2020

Kripp I am a young beautiful Korean girl

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪғᴜʟ ᴋᴏʀᴇᴀɴ ɢɪʀʟ (>‿◠)✌ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɢɪɢɢʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴏғ ʜᴏᴡ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ɢᴀᴍᴇs ♡‿‿♡ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴍᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing