Do ๐ not ๐ call ๐ your ๐ significant ๐ other ๐ honey ๐ unless ๐ you ๐ are ๐ a ๐ bee ๐ you ๐ are ๐ appropriating ๐ bee ๐ culture, ๐ this ๐ cannot ๐ bee ๐ accepted ๐
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
GME revamp
GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
WallStreetBets
Brofist and crofist
twitchquotes:
Dear Kripp, I am a lawyer and I represent StrifeCro. I notice that your 'brofist' is strikingly similar to StrifeCro's 'crofist'. Given that StrifeCro owns the 'fisting' patent, I request that you immediately cease and desist from 'brofisting' any more subs, or my client will take you to court. Yours sincerely, Eddie Barristerino.
twitch chat
Kripp
Don't post another copypasta
twitchquotes:
Hey๐ stop๐จright there โ this is the police ๐ฎ if you post another ๐ copy๐ ๐ pasta again in this neighborhood ๐ ๐ I'm gonna have to ๐arrest you๐ no ticket today ๐ฆ kiddo ๐this is just a warning โ be careful next time๐ง
twitch chat
To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
Iโm sorry I kept referring to Fredโs liberally mayoโd oven-roasted chicken sub as a โbukkake specialโ. Iโm sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. Iโm extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling โETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?โ in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporatedยฉ. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
Kripp