[Copypasta] I orgasmed during an online zoom class

Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class. I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Rania and her Puerto Rican lover in 2017

twitchquotes: The year is 2017 - Rania is playing hardstone while her puerto rican lover performs felatio on her. She queues into an UNKNOWN and instantly receives a message from the Kripp. "This is so unfair! It`s not my fault vegans can`t eat p*#sy! You have 30 minutes to come back home before I shoot myself and dex in the face with my vegan gun!" She aggressively slams the desk: "DAMN IT!". "Que se pasa amor" Antonio looks up perplexed, She replies: "Turn 1 go first zombie chow...".
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

She needs a man that can treat her right

twitchquotes: What the fuck man. I'm literally sitting here on the verge of tears. Slaving away in this dead end job saving up for the end of the month splash. I was this close. Maybe I should have done that overtime, if I could get her that money earlier I might have been able to convince her in the dono message. She needs a man that can treat her right, a man like me. I would open the car door for her EVERY TIME, I would pull out her chair at a restaurant, I would lay my twitch hoodie over puddles to protect her from the filth.
twitch chat
December 2020

Simps

I pay $4.99 a month to enjoy chat

twitchquotes: ᢫ᢦ˒ᡗᡉᢰ α΅˜α΅– α΅α΅’α΅—Κ°α΅‰Κ³αΆ α΅˜αΆœα΅α΅‰Κ³Λ’ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ ᡃʳᡉ ᡃ᢫᢫ α΅ƒαΆœα΅—αΆ¦αΆ°α΅ ʷᡃʸ α΅’α΅˜α΅— α΅’αΆ  Κ°α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ αΆ°α΅’α΅— α΅ƒαΆœα΅—αΆ¦αΆ°α΅ αΆ¦αΆ° α΅ƒαΆœαΆœα΅’Κ³α΅ˆ Κ·αΆ¦α΅—Κ° α΅—Κ·αΆ¦α΅—αΆœΚ° α΅–α΅’αΆ«αΆ¦αΆœαΆ¦α΅‰Λ’ Κ·αΆ¦α΅—Κ° ᡃ᢫᢫ α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ ˒ᡖᡃᡐᡐᢦᢰᡍ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ ᡃʳᡉ ᡃ᢫˒ᡒ ʳᡘᢦᢰᢦᢰᡍ α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ αΆœΚ°α΅ƒα΅— ʷʰᢦᢜʰ α΄΅ ᡖᡃʸ $4β‹…99 ᡃ ᡐᡒᢰᡗʰ α΅—α΅’ ᡉᢰʲᡒʸ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ α΄΅ ˒ʷᡉᡃʳ α΅—α΅’ α΅α΅’α΅ˆ αΆ¦αΆ  α΄΅ ˒ᡉᡉ ᡃᢰʸᡒᢰᡉ αΆœα΅’α΅–ΚΈ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ ᡖᡃ˒ᡗᡉ α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ α΄΅'ᡐ αΆœα΅ƒαΆ«αΆ«αΆ¦αΆ°α΅ ᡗʰᡉ αΆœα΅’α΅–Λ’
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. β€’ ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠‒ ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. β€’ ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021

Nyan Cat

________β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„______ _______β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ_____ _______β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–„_ __β–„β–„___β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ_ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–„_ _β–€β–„β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–“β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆ_ _____β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–“β–„β–“β–“β–„β–“β–“β–„β–“β–’β–’β–ˆ ______β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–“β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–„β–€_ ____β–„β–€β–“β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€___ ____β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€_β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€_______β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€_β–€β–„β–„β–ˆ_____
ascii art
November 2014
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