[Copypasta] I orgasmed during an online zoom class

Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class. I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Undertale Sans full body

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘๏ปฟโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
February 2019

If you ever need a man to be the kiwi to your pie...

twitchquotes: สœแด‡ส ษขษชส€สŸ, ษช สœแด‡แด€ส€ สแดแดœ สŸษชแด‹แด‡ แดแด‡แดแด‡s, sแด สœแดแดก แด€ส™แดแดœแด› แดกแด‡ ษขแด‡แด› แด›แดษขแด‡แด›สœแด‡ส€ แด€ษดแด… ส€แด€ษชsแด‡ แดแดœส€ แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€s? ษช'แด… แด˜แด‡แด˜แด˜แด‡ส€แดษดษช สแดแดœส€ แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด‡ส€แดษดษช แด€ษดส แด…แด€ส แด€ษดแด… แด…แดษด'แด› ษขแด‡แด› แดแด‡ sแด›แด€ส€แด›แด‡แด… แดษด สแดแดœส€ แด…ษชษขษดษชแด›ASS (สœแด‡สœแด‡). ษชา“ สแดแดœ แด‡แด แด‡ส€ ษดแด‡แด‡แด… แด€ แดแด€ษด แด›แด ส™แด‡ แด›สœแด‡ แด‹ษชแดกษช แด›แด สแดแดœส€ แด˜ษชแด‡, แดแด‡ แด€ษดแด… แดส า“แด‡แด…แดส€แด€ แด€ส€แด‡ ส€แด‡แด€แด…ส แด€ษดแด… แดกแด€ษชแด›ษชษดษข แด›แด ษขแด‡แด› แด…แดแดกษด แด›แด sแดแดแด‡ แด„ส€แดœแดขษชษด' แด€ษดแด… ส™ส€แดœแดขษชษด' แด€ษดแด… ษช'แด ส€แด€ส€ษชษดษข แด›แด า“ษชสŸสŸ สแดแดœ แดกษชแด›สœ แดส ษขแดสŸแด…แด‡ษด ษขสŸแดœแด‡. แดŠแดœsแด› แด…แดษด'แด› ษขแด แด›สœส€แดแดกษชษดษข แดส ส™แด€ส€แดษด, แดส€ ษช'สŸสŸ สŸแด‡แด€แด แด‡ ษดแดแด›สœษชษดษข สŸแด‡า“แด› แดา“ สแดแดœ ส™แดœแด› แด„ส€แดœแดส™แดข
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

Why Pornhub is a rip-off of Spongebob Squarepants

Welcome back to Watchmojo.com, where we tell you our Top 5 picks for why Pornhub is a rip-off of Spongebob Squarepants. Pornhub is a website for watching stuff that your parents don't like. However, this concept may be based on an episode of the animated series Spongebob Squarepants where the titular main character is watching a video of a flesh-colored anenome dancing, while Gary walks in, and so Spongebob quickly grabs the television's remote and changes the channel immediately. Plankton has once said a phrase while speaking about Spongebob, which is "You will be mine". Many fans suggest that Spongebob (who can't be gay because he is fucking genderless smh) is a homosexual, and while saying this he is referring to his brain, which is, in texture, much like a woman's reproductive organs. In the episode of the Spongebob Squarepants series "Face Freeze", one scene shows Spongebob and Patrick's head looking like male and female external genitalia, and later they sleep in the same tent. Later on, Sandy pulls out her dirty, sharp hands and rubs on Spongebob's face, which may have inspired most videos in Pornhub's "lesbian" category. If you count the scene beforehand, this may also be one of the heterosexual "blowjobs". Another scene of Plankton includes him speaking about the Krabby Patty's secret sauce, he utters, while sweating behind iron bars and inside Spongebob's head, "yes, Yes, YES! COME TO PAPA!". Another one, from the movie, is when he says "Daddy yes!". These may have inspired either BDSM, incest porn, or some hentai. Also, Patrick licks his ass. Many Pornhub videos have used fake Spongebobs as character. Sometimes gay, straight, or even hentai. Especially a video where the opening is horrendously remade version of the Spongebob Squarepants intro theme, and the main character is a black man with a yellow painted face, who decides to refer to himself as "Spongeknob Squarenuts". And now, time for our honorable mentions!!!!! a) in the season 5 episode, "Spy Buddies", Patrick constantly uses his butt laser. This inspired Squirting. b) Squidward mentions that Mr. Krabs' "weiner thing" will "blow up in his face. This enspired Cumming. c) Squidward has also used a vacuum cleaner to suck on his penis. This inspired Vibrators and Fleshlights. d) Spongebob uses both animation and live action in episodes, much like Pornhub has live-action and hentai.
June 2021

Press CTRL + W to prove you are not a bot

twitchquotes: โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€” imGlitch The Twitch Anti-Bot Algorithm(TM) has detected you may be a bot. Please press the A key on your keyboard and then press the key combo CTRL + W to prove you are not a bot.โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”
twitch chat
May 2019

President's Day Emoji Pasta

๐ŸŽ‰HAPPY๐ŸฅณPRESIDICKS๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ซDAY๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ’ฆ2๏ธโƒฃ9๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ years โฑago ๐Ÿ—“our ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘fav๐Ÿ˜pounding๐Ÿงˆ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜˜ father ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆand๐Ÿ˜Œmain๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’ฏbitch๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸคญWHOREge๐Ÿ˜ŽWashingSLUT๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿพcame๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆinto๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œthis๐ŸŒŽWORLD๐ŸŒto โœŒ๏ธbecum๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿคซthe๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ1ST๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธpresiDICK๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ†๐Ÿคžof๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฅณthe๐Ÿ’…United๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธSluts๐Ÿ‘™Of๐ŸคญAmerica๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆsend๐Ÿ“ง๐Ÿ“ฒthisโžก๏ธto ๐Ÿ”Ÿof๐Ÿ˜‰the๐Ÿ˜ฉsluttiest๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆpatriots๐Ÿ”ž๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธyou๐Ÿ‘‡know๐Ÿค—if you get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜youโ€™re๐Ÿ‘invited to the โœ๏ธ๐Ÿ“constitutional ๐Ÿ“โœ๏ธCOCKus๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ if you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ youโ€™re a Mt. Rushmore ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณWHORE๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ’ฆif you ๐Ÿ‘คget 0๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜นno ๐Ÿšซ presidick๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ for ๐Ÿคญyou ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ
March 2022

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing