Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class.
I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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His name was Norman Reedus
I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
Jared, one final ff
twitchquotes:
The year is 2027, Jared has just returned from his third tour in North Korea. Each time he fired his rifle he whispered the same word, "/ff". He looks down to the 9mm in his belt and dreams of seeing imaqtpie and Dom one last time, one final "/ff'
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Annie Bot
Boosted Animal Jared
League of Legends
Watch a middle aged man play a children's card game
twitchquotes:
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU PAY $5 A MONTH TO WATCH A MIDDLE AGED MAN PLAY A CHILDRENS CARTOON GAME
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU PAY $5 A MONTH TO WATCH A MIDDLE AGED MAN PLAY A CHILDRENS CARTOON GAME
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
GME short squeeze
Lets dumb this down for you apes:
- Let's say 5 banana's currently cost 10 dollar
- One ape on the market has 5 banana's
- Snake asks to borrow 5 banana's for a bit and instead sells the 5 banana's thinking price will go down soon (shorting). he thinks he can buy them later for less and give them back to ape, so he make's profit on the difference.
- Group of apes notice what stupid snakes are doing and decide to buy all banana's on the market until snakes have no other choice than to buy from the group of apes in order to return what they borrowed
- If group of apes stay strong then price will go 🚀🚀🚀
WallStreetBets
ISIS threatens Kripp
twitchquotes:
لام ، Kripp ، میرے دوست ، اس کے اپنے مقامی ISIS باب سے ہے . میں نے حال ہی میں اپنے میدان ڈیک میں بمباروں کی کمی محسوس کیا ہے . یہ بالکل حرام ہیں اور اللہ کی توہین ہے . آپ ثقافتی تنوع کے بارے میں سب سے اوپر پرواہ ہے آپ کو آپ کے ڈیک کے سب آگے بڑھنے کے لئے ان کارڈز شامل کریں گے! دوسری صورت میں ہم آپ کو کچھ "گھڑیوں" بھیجنے کے لئے مجبور کیا جائے گا . میں تمہیں دھمکی گے لیکن یہ میری خوبصورت اونٹ کی بیوی سے محبت کرنے کا وقت ہے . الوداعی ، Kripp
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Kripp