[Copypasta] I orgasmed during an online zoom class

Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class. I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West

I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
August 2021

Kanye West

Anime girl surprised

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⢻⣿⣟⣛⣉⣉⣉⣉⠉⠉⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⠋⠀⠁⠐⠂⢀⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣤⣄⣀⣠⠾⢯⣤⣦⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⢾⣿⠟⢉⡉⠉⢹⣟⢿⣷⣦⢢⠘⣿⠃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠸⠁⢰⣿⣷⣶⣤⣿⣷⠙⢿⡃⠀⠛⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠻⠿⣿⣟⣻⡿⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠟⣿⠇⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣭⣕⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠉⠻⢿⣦⡀⠹⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣷⣄⠀⣦⡻⣷⡀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣦⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢿⣧⠄⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣏⡿⠃⣼⡿⠤⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠛⠃⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
May 2021

Weebs

Jebaited isn't so great? Are you kidding me?

twitchquotes: Jebaited isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a meme with such influence and beauty in Twitch chat? Jebaited takes Twitch to another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see another Twitch meme with the same level of memeness. Unite my Twitch brothers! We will forever sing in the old Jewish hymn: "Kappa outdated. PogChamp overrated. Long have we waited. Now we Jebaited."
twitch chat
January 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing