[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

YOU DIRTY SELLOUT

twitchquotes: Hi qtpie, my name is Dave, and I work at YOU DIRTY SELLOUT. We at the YOU DIRTY SELLOUT team are huge fans, and we would be willing to come to a large cash agreement if you engage in SELLOUT activities on stream. Look forward to it.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

sellout

Kripp

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–„β–‘ β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–Œ ░▐▓▒░░▄▒▒▓▄▄▒▒▒░▒▄▄▄▒▒▓ β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ░▐▓░░░░▒▒▓▓▓░░░▒▓▓▓▓▓▒▓ β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–“β–’β–“β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–€β–’β–„
November 2014
Kripp

69 is so funny

twitchquotes: 69 is so funny. Whenever I hear it, I just burst out laughing. I run out into the living room and grab the Tv remote. I start flicking through the channels. β€œYou guys, it’s so funny, you’ll laugh so hard!” I can barely get it out as I’m laughing so hard, banging the table and snickering while I flick through the TV channels. I finally get to The CW, and the number 69 is on the bottom right-hand corner of the screen! My family and friends who were over all stand up in tremendous applause, and my wife and children come back from upstate to be with my comedic genius!
twitch chat
April 2020

Don't let your dreams be memes

twitchquotes: YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMMOROW, Don't let your dreams be memes, Don't meme your dreams be beams, Jet fuel won't melt tomorrow's memes, DON'T LET YOUR STEEL MEMES BE JET DREAMS
twitch chat
July 2015
imaqtpie

Hey Europoops, who built the statue of liberty?

twitchquotes: 4Head Hey Europoops, who built the statue of liberty? NOT YOU EleGiggle STAY POOR EU EleGiggle
twitch chat
February 2016
Riot Games

EU vs NA

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