[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Think about your actions

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although this subreddit has 179,776 readers, I am not receiving 179,776 upvotes on my posts. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to click 'upvote'. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to upvote my most recent posts. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
September 2018

Classic

KappaPride

twitchquotes: KappaPride = Rainbow face (no space)
twitch chat
June 2015
Reynad

Kripp when do you start being a sellout?

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Just wondering when you're going to start selling Nvidia™ Tshirts and Cups?, Or even better, Do you think we can get some HyperX™ ram discounts on G2A®? While you're at it, I think you should have some giveaways for Subway® Giftcards™?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

sellout

FeelsAmazingMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣩⣭⣥⣭⣭⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣶⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠙⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣋⣭⣭⣭⣭⣔⠻⣿⣿⣿⢸⡴⠆⢀⡾⠟⠁⠀⢰⣶⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⢿⣿⣎⠛⠿⠓⠒⠈⠁⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠀⠈⣿⣿⡇⠒⠒⠒⠂⢀⣠⣴⠟⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⠒⢋⣴⠿⠋⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⠿⠋⢵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠁⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⣠⣴⡿⠟⣋⣤⣦⡙⢌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠙⠒⠒⠒⠂⠀⢀⣠⡶⠿⢛⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠳⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⢀⣰⠂⢀⣤⣶⠾⢛⣡⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⡏⠀⠟⠃⠀⣿⡉⢥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡙⢎⢻⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠰⡄⠈⠻⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⢿⣿ ⣇⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠈⠻⣦⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣛⡛⠳⠈⡌⢿ ⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠈⠛⢷⣤⡁⠤⣤⣍⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣷⠄⣿⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠀⠀⠙⠻⣷⣶⣬⣍⣒⡂⠈⠍⢐⣛⣩⣥⣴⠾⢋⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⠿⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

I sexually Identify as TheLegend27

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as TheLegend27. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the armies of my enemies hurling big, hard boulders at disgusting cavalry. People say to me that a person being TheLegend27 is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Game of War: Fire Age, trebuchets and 90kg stones on my body.
twitch chat
January 2017

I sexually Identify as

Text-to-Speech Playing