[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣫⢯⣗⣗⣗⣗⣗⡷⡽⣝⡯⣟⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢝⣞⣗⢷⡽⣽⣺⣳⢯⣾⣺⡽⣽⣳⢯⢯⢯⢯⢞⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢿⣕⡯⣟⣞⡾⣽⢽⣳⣟⣾⣻⣞⣷⣻⣽⣞⣯⢿⡽⣽⢽⢽⢵⣻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢯⣳⣳⢽⣳⢯⡯⣿⣽⣻⡾⣷⢿⣞⣿⣞⣷⣟⣾⢯⣯⢷⣻⡽⣳⢧⡻⣿⣿ ⣿⣏⣗⢷⢽⡽⣞⣯⣿⣳⢟⣷⢿⣻⣽⣟⣾⣻⣾⣻⢾⢿⣞⣯⣷⣻⢽⣳⣝⣝⣿ ⣿⣺⣪⢿⢽⡽⣯⢷⡯⢐⠄⠄⣻⣟⣷⢿⣽⣻⡞⠠⡂⠄⢻⣗⣷⢯⣟⣞⡮⣖⣿ ⣿⡺⣺⢽⢯⣻⣽⢯⣧⠐⠐⡀⣺⣽⣾⢿⣽⣯⣇⢐⠠⠈⣼⣟⣾⣻⣺⣵⡻⡮⣿ ⣿⡺⡽⡽⡯⣷⣻⣻⣽⣾⣲⢾⣽⢷⣟⣿⣳⣯⡿⣶⢶⣽⣻⣾⣳⡯⣷⡳⣯⡳⣻ ⣿⡺⣝⡯⡿⡽⣞⣯⣷⢿⣽⢿⣽⢿⣽⢷⣟⣷⢿⣻⡿⣽⢷⣻⢾⣽⣳⢯⣗⢝⣿ ⣿⣝⣞⡽⡽⡯⣟⣷⠉⡁⠅⠡⠁⠅⠡⠁⠅⠡⢉⠨⠈⠌⡉⣿⢽⣞⣞⣗⡗⣽⣿ ⣿⣿⡼⣺⢽⢯⣟⣞⡷⡶⡾⡶⣷⢾⡶⣷⢾⣶⢶⣶⢷⡶⡾⣽⢽⣺⢞⡞⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣮⢯⣳⡳⡯⡯⣟⣟⣯⢿⡽⣯⣟⣿⣺⡯⣯⡯⣯⢿⢽⢽⡺⡹⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣧⡫⡯⡯⣗⣟⡾⣽⢽⣳⢯⢾⣺⢽⣳⢯⢯⢯⢏⢇⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣽⣕⡳⡫⣗⢟⢾⣝⢯⢯⢻⢪⡫⣽⣼⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
August 2021

Goomba

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▄██▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄██▄░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░█░▀██░░░░░░░░░░██▀░█░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░█░░░▄██▄░░░░░░▄██▄░░░█░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▄▀░▄▀──▀█▄░░░░▄█▀──▀▄░▀▄░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄▀░▄▀───▄─██░░██─▄───▀▄░▀▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀░░░█───███─█░░█─███───█░░░▀▄░░░░░ ░░░▄▀░░░░░█────▀──█░░█──▀────█░░░░░▀▄░░░ ░▄▀░░░░░░░█──────█░░░░█──────█░░░░░░░▀▄░ █░░░░░▄░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▀░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▀░░░░▄░░░░░█ █░░░░░▌▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▐░░░░░█ █░░░░▐▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▌░░░░█ █░░░░▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀░░░░█ ░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░ ░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░ ░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
September 2021

Bear hands up

⡰⠴⠢⠈⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢙⣐⡰⢺ ⠺⢀⡃⠋⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⠄⠠⠤⠄⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠸⣿⠟⢸ ⡤⣿⣿⡧⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠰⠋⢀⠄⠄⡀⠤⣶⡾⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⡇ ⠑⠉⠉⠁⠅⢰⡦⠉⡙⡽⠄⠄⠜⠛⠴⠊⠄⡀⢼⣧⡀⠅⠄⠄⠄⡌⠄⠄⠄⢴ ⢰⠄⠄⠄⠘⡌⢷⡄⢁⠁⠈⠄⠄⢀⡃⣠⣾⣆⣼⣿⣧⡗⠄⠄⢰⡅⠄⠄⠘⢿ ⠸⡀⠄⠄⠄⠘⢄⠙⡎⡇⡦⠄⠄⠈⠹⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡇⠄⢀⣇⠂⠄⠄⣌⢸ ⠄⡟⠄⠄⠄⠰⠼⢢⡳⣄⢀⡀⠂⠄⠄⠣⣿⣿⠄⠄⡿⢱⢠⠞⠆⠄⠄⠄⠰⣾ ⠄⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠓⣟⢰⠁⠐⠄⠄⠄⠉⠑⠄⠄⢐⠊⠍⠉⠁⠄⠄⠐⠶⣪ ⠠⢾⡈⣄⡤⠄⠄⠄⠘⠘⠑⢡⡄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡬⢗⡎ ⠄⠬⢧⣄⠖⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⠙⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠰⡝⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢈⣳⣭⡃⠆⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄▄▄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠁⠄ ⡀⢐⣛⠿⠿⠛⢻⣿⢶⣰⢀⡢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄█░░▀▄⠄⠄⠁⡠⣟⠆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣻⣧⣇⠊⢙⢣⡄⠄⠄⠄▀▄░░▀▄⠄⠄⢀⣙⠛⠨⡄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠿⢿⣲⠄⣁⡀⠄⠄▀▄░░▀▄⠄⠄⠐⠑⠾⢨⠆ ⠤⠖⠒⠚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣣⠶⠦⠷⠁⣔⡯⠄⠄▄▀░░░░█⠄⠐⠖⠋⠄⢪⠄
March 2021

Happy Merchant

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢔⢒⡿⠯⠥⢦⣦⣾⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⢮⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⣿⣝⡴⡔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣦⣶⣿⣿⣯⣿⢽⠁⢰⣢⣶⣦⣌⠠⠴⠆⠘⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⢂⠘⢻⢛⣛⠿⣝⠁⠀⠼⣁⡴⣖⣫⠙⠙⠿⡳⡅⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠂⠰⠀⠀⠈⡄⢠⢓⣺⢇⡇⣊⠐⠀⠉⠁⠲⠒⠀⠀⠀⠑⠅⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣨⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠰⢸⠄⠄⣸⣷⡦⣄⢤⠄⢄⡀⣀⠤⠠⡀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⠁⠙⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⠘⢠⣿⣟⣿⣿⣪⣮⣶⣸⣮⣖⣢⣌⠁⠀⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⢝⣻⣯⣿⢿⡫⢺⡩⠍⣉⣉⣨⡗⠉⠂⠊⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡈⠂⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⡸⣹⡿⣿⣯⣷⣱⣙⠫⠧⠷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⢉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠕⣻⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⡷⣶⣾⠿⠒⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢇⠻⠽⣿⡿⢟⣿⣻⡟⠁⠰⣯⡕⡰⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢩⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠬⣍⠱⠨⠯⠛⠙⢏⠀⢀⡀⣨⡀⠤⢚⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠄⠰⡶⠲⢦⠓⠍⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⢀⠄⠊⠉⠙⠑⠒⠊⠉⠀⠀
February 2021

Ben Shapiro asks his mom to buy him the Lego Death Star

Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)
January 2021

Ben Shapiro

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