[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

How about you respect people's wishes and not copy paste?

twitchquotes: Really? Is saying "Don't copy paste this" some secret phrase for "actually copy paste this". How about you respect people's wishes and not copy paste if they ask you not to. Please don't copy paste this.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Among us ritual

Go to the bathroom at 3:33 am, then open youtube and play among us drip song then do the jerma sus face and repeat the word "sus" in front to the mirror for 666 times, if the ritual worked then a voice from your parents room will say "shut up", you will then hear a creature walk to the bathroom, at this point destroy the mirror before he enters In the bathroom if the ritual worked then the next day your parents will start discussing about you having mental problems
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

newbies in Summit's chat

twitchquotes: wow, I can tell there are some newbies here in Summit's chat. listen, I've been watching him for almost 4 whole months now, and I know what he's about, so listen to me and I'll teach you. when SumSum (that's what vets call him here) plays SoT (that's Sea of Thieves) he plays sneaky and steals look. it's kind of his thing. haha
twitch chat
May 2020
Summt1g

Tides, you suffer another extremely unjust loss

twitchquotes: Once again, Tides, you suffer another extremely unjust loss. I have no idea why you keep losing game after game, even though you possess superb drafting and world-class champion decision making skills. There’s clearly something not right since you are the best player of Teamfight tactics.
twitch chat
June 2019
TidesOfTime

Teamfight Tactics

I downloaded Sonic games on my school computer

So yesterday in class we were all given our new Windows computers (last year, I hacked the chromebooks so they could play Sonic Advance) and I immediately downloaded twenty-five PC Sonic games within one hour and installed two dozen emulators to play the console and handheld ones. After we all got our computers, I bragged about having the ability to play 60 Sonic games. The teacher confisticated my computer and said I would have to use the chromebooks for the rest of the year. She also said that Sonic was a dead franchise and that Fortnite was better in every way. That was really no good and SLOW of her! So I ripped my computer out of my Sonic-hating teacher and screamed "YOU SLUTTY SLOW SONIC HATER! YOU'RE JUST TOO SLOW!" I also went to her macbook, and deleted Fortnite and installed more Sonic games and played Gotta Go Fast to the whole class. She gave me an F, which is impossible since E is the lowest rank and S is the highest, and sent me to the principal's office, where I was suspended and they called my parents, who took away my Game Gear. When I get back, I'll make sure they pay for being TOO SLOW.
July 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing