[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. πŸ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
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French word for grape is raisin

twitchquotes: you know whats strange about english, you guys have a word for dried grapes: raisins. but the strange thing is that in french the word grape is litteraly raisin, but we dont have a word for dried ones, we just say dried grapes but in French so raisin sec BUT THATS NOT EVEN THE THE CRAZY PART because do you know what we call a bunch of grape together? a GRAPPE so a bunch of grape in french is Grappe de raisins πŸ€”
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May 2019

Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, This is Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter in the galaxy. I command you to stop being a p*ssy and eat meat, instead of eating all of my relatives. If you don't, I will be super angry at you. You've been warned.
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HITLER

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Twitch Chat Examination Team

twitchquotes: Hello this is the Twitch Chat Examination Team here with anther experiment. We are testing how quickly a message typed into chat is copied and pasted by the mindless hordes. Please, if you're reading this, spread awareness for our cause.
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Donging through the snow

twitchquotes: α••ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•— Donging through the snow α••ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•— α••ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•— In a one dong open sleigh α••ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•— over the dongs we go α••ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•— donging all the way α••ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•—
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