[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. πŸ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy

twitchquotes: Honestly, spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy to exist on this planet. Instead of original jokes, we just have repetitive trash. As a stand up comedian, I spend hours on my craft making sure I make original jokes. I always leave the comedy club with the hottest bros. Maybe you copypasta people can learn something from me.
twitch chat
October 2020

Getting meme'd

twitchquotes: Kripp my friend bought your Stupid Lizard shirt and he told me he got meme'd! I can't believe you'd go out in the world and do that? Meme someone. I'll have you know my best dog was meme'd back in 'Nam. It ruined him. RIP dog
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Minion Joker

───────────▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ────────▄▀▀═════════════▀▀▄ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β•β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β•β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β•β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β•β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β–ˆβ–„β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–„β–ˆβ•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–β–“β–“β–Œβ•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–β–“β–“β–Œ β”€β”€β”€β–β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–Œ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–β–“β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–“β–Œβ•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–Œβ•β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ•β–β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ•β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ•β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ•β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ•β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ•β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ•β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆ β”€β–„β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ–„ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ”€β”€β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ ─────────▀▀▀▀────────▀▀▀▀
September 2021

Art of Conquest is my favorite game!

twitchquotes: Art of Conquest is my favorite game! (Thanks for agreeing to post some positive feedback about our game. Just post this in Kripp's Twitch chat as often as possible. Make sure to remove this message before you post it. Thanks! -Art of Conquest Team)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Text-to-Speech Playing