[Copypasta] Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. • ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠• ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. • ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The Bible is an amazing manga

The Bible is an amazing manga. Chapters 1-5 were written by this guy named Moses but for some reason the author changed around. Abram is definitely my favorite character although for some reason they retconned his name to be Abraham, and in some regional publications his name is Ibrahim. The best ship is Abram x Sarah. Also, they totally nailed the new testament chapter, with some great character development. I never expected Judas' betrayal either.
April 2020

Weebs

British "person" (🤢) in Godzilla vs Kong

I can't believe it, one of this year's biggest movies and they added a bri'ish "person", it's a well known fact by now that the so called "British" and the entire country of "Britain" aren't even real things. Why would the director decide to ruin the realism, the immersion his audience should feel when watching a huge monke and lizard fighting, by adding one of these imaginary "individuals". I must admit I was excited for Gozdilla vs Kong when I first saw the trailer but now... I don't know what to feel. I don't know if I have the will to watch this movie and be able to enjoy it while there's a bri'ish person on my screen.
April 2021

British People

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

Pepe flex

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⡶⠿⢘⣥⠢⠐⠗⣹⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣅⣂⠹⣪⣭⣥⣶⣿⡿⠿⢭⡻⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⡀⠄⣭⣧⣾⡿⠿⡋⢅⡪⠅⣢⣿⡿⠟⢁⣶⣶⣶⣤⣠⣄⡀⠄⠄ ⢠⣴⣿⣿⣟⣤⣤⡉⠭⣑⡨⢔⣊⣵⣶⡿⠛⢉⣴⡾⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣦⡀ ⣼⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⡈⣿⢰⢰⠌⣻⣭⣭⣶⡷⣠⡤⠶⠾⠛⢓⣒⣮⣝⡻⠸⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣝⢶⣿⣿⣿⡃⠄⢏⣸⡄⢻⡿⣿⣟⣵⠶⢛⣛⣛⣛⡒⠦⣝⠿⣿⣦⡙⣿⡿ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣜⡿⣿⣄⢓⡘⠃⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣯⣶⣅⢺⣿⡇⠻⠁ ⠄⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⣿⣷⣾⣝⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣛⣿⡟⣢⢻⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣿⣿⣿⣦⣵⡾⢃⣾⣿⣿⢱⡿⣸⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⢿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⡿⠿⣟⣛⣉⣰⣿⣿⣿⠇⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠲⣝⣫⣓⡙⣿⣜⣛⣛⣛⣻⡯⠹⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⢻⡈⢿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
June 2021

Pepe

12 win cotten mitten pitten

twitchquotes: When Kripp gets a pitten its a 12 win cotton mitten pitten. He gets so smitten his donger becomes a biggen. Now his donger being a biggen while hes smitten wearing mittens, he can no longer fap to his winning arena pittens. Help Kripp with his biggen so spam this donger omission about Kripps pittens that is a 12 win cotton mitten pitten. No copy pasteritten.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
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