Sleeping naked is a power move anyways.
• Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty.
• When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets.
• Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Pickpocket hot tip
twitchquotes:
Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
Classic
Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster ad
twitchquotes:
Dominate Nerf blaster battles with the first-ever motorized Nerf MEGA blaster! 
The Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster boasts incredible rapid-fire speeds to send MEGA Whistler darts screaming through the air from its integrated 24-dart drum. Bring the MEGA Mastodon blaster into action to overwhelm opponents with its imposing size. Use the shoulder strap for easy maneuvering to be ready for Nerf battles anytime, anywhere.
Dominate Nerf blaster battles with the first-ever motorized Nerf MEGA blaster! The Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster boasts incredible rapid-fire speeds to send MEGA Whistler darts screaming through the air from its integrated 24-dart drum. Bring the MEGA Mastodon blaster into action to overwhelm opponents with its imposing size. Use the shoulder strap for easy maneuvering to be ready for Nerf battles anytime, anywhere.
twitch chat
Simping for Pokimane is a lifestyle
twitchquotes:
Simping for Pokimane isn't just a moment, it’s a lifestyle 💫 a reason to breathe 🤲 an escape from this evil world filled with thieves 🌏 It’s art 🖼 the first gift you open on Xmas 🎁 a hug from a loved one 🤗 everything you’ve ever wanted love 💗 everything you need 💕🥺
twitch chat
Pokimane
Simps
Imo moonmoon's chat is the worst
twitchquotes:
Imo moonmoon's chat is the worst. It's an endless stream of purple lady faces and various other meaningless emotes. Shit isn't even funny. I legit stopped watching moonmoon because I can't handle his chat. I know twitch chat is fairly toxic in general but at least people actually use words to communicate in other chats. Moonmoon's minions are so immersed in their 3 shitty memes that they themselves have become a meme.
twitch chat
MOONMOON
gay brazilians
twitchquotes:
Hi Bjergsen I am from Brazil and just like many brazilians, I am gay, and I would really like to have a bed time with you and listen to your cutie voice and perhaps do some coitus and engage and marry eachother. Our wedding would be in some favela of Rio de Janeiro. What do you think????????????
twitch chat
Bjergsen