Sleeping naked is a power move anyways.
• Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty.
• When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets.
• Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 1
So today in school, my English teacher was having us do presentation in front of our class. For my presentation, I decided to troll my entire class by making my entire slideshow about the popular game, Among Us. I started off the presentation by showing the class the picture of the Among Us imposter wearing sneakers (it's a meme on google if you want to search for it). For some reason, no one laughed at the meme. My teacher told me "this isn't what your presentation is supposed to be about." I responded by yelling "THE TEACHER IS SUS I SAW HER VENT" and then naruto running around the room. Again, no one even giggled. I assume it's because it was forst bell and everyone was tired. My teacher said "Please sit down." But I wasn't about to give up. I made a last ditch effort to make everyone laugh. I started to beatbox the Among Us theme song trap remix. I was beatboxing it so well (i had practiced it at home), i was certain that everyone would burst out in laughter. Unfortunately, not a single person laughed. Everyone was staring at me, so I said "You guys are all sussy, I'm gonna eject you".
Long story short, I ended up getting a bad grade on my presentation and I got a detention. However, it was worth it because I totally got to troll my entire class.
Trolling with Among Us
Among Us / Amogus
Vaporeon
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Pokemon
To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
Arr. It's driving me nuts
twitchquotes:
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants, the bartender says "whats with the wheel?". The pirate replies "Arr. it's drivin me nuts"
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Minion Joker
───────────▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
────────▄▀▀═════════════▀▀▄
───────█═══════════════════█
──────█═════════════════════█
─────█══════▄▄███████▄▄══════█
────█═════▄█████████████▄═════█
────█════▄████▀─────▀████▄════█
───███████████──█▀█──███████████
───███████████──▀▀▀──███████████
────█════▀█████▄▄▄▄▄█████▀════█
────█══════▀███████████▀══════█
────█═█▄═══════════════════▄█═█
────█══██▄═══════════════▄██══█
────█═══██▄═════════════▄██═══█
────█════▀███▄═══════▄███▀════█
────█═════▀▀███████████▀▀═════█
────█═════════▀▀▀▀▀▀▀═════════█
───▐▓▓▌═════════════════════▐▓▓▌
───▐▐▓▓▌▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▐▓▓▌▌
───█══▐▓▄▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▄▓▌══█
──█══▌═▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌═▐══█
──█══█═▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▓▓▓▓▓▓▌═█══█
──█══█═▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▐██▀██▌▓▓▓▓▓▓▌═█══█
──█══█═▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▀▀▀▀▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌═█══█
──█══█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█══█
─▄█══█▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌█══█▄
─█████▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌─█████
─██████▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌─██████
──▀█▀█──▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌───█▀█▀
─────────▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▌▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▌
──────────▐▓▓▓▓▌──▐▓▓▓▓▌
─────────▄████▀────▀████▄
─────────▀▀▀▀────────▀▀▀▀