Sleeping naked is a power move anyways.
• Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty.
• When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets.
• Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Stroll in my local GameStop
stroll into my local GameStop
looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac
grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register
"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
"Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!"
I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing
"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!"
I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
he bellows and charges forward
I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?
"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."
I sheath my sword
"You're not my type."
skate away on my Heelys
Classic
Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster, i've noticed that my husband is never home to play with the Childrenmasters and they are really missing their Fathermaster. Could you choose my dear Husbandmaster less so that my kids can grow up with an actual Dadmaster? Thank you Kripp, maybe he can take you to Gymmaster so you can put some muscle on that scrawny vegan body.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Belle Delphine Christmas vid is disappointing
Using the promo code TEMPO!
twitchquotes:
That RNG was ridiculous! But not as ridiculous as the savings you can get at G2A by using the promo code TEMPO!
That RNG was ridiculous! But not as ridiculous as the savings you can get at G2A by using the promo code TEMPO!
twitch chat
Reynad
sellout
Hearthstone
DrDisrespect zoomed in
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠈⠉⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⣻
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⠀⢹
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠛⠻⡃⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾
⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⠃⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿
⡀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⢸
⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠉⠙⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸
⡬⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸
⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣴⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿
⡏⠻⠰⠂⢴⠖⠁⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣽⣿⣷⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣶⣾⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿
⡇⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢹⣿⣿
⣿⠀⠐⣼⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⡿⡿⠿⢿⠿⠿⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣷⡄⠹⡟⠿⣧⠀⠀⠹⠿⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠈⡟⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⠞⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠤⢞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
DrDisRespectLIVE