[Copypasta] Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. • ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠• ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. • ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Not enough brofisting

twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Peeking Anime Girl

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠈⠙⠾⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿ ⠋⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⠀⢀⠠⠐⠈⠁⠀⠀⠁⠀⠈⠻⢾⣿⣾⣿⣾⣟⣿ ⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠃⠀⠀⠠⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⠄⠀⠙⣾⣷⣿⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢰⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠈⡀⠀⠈⢿⣟⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢀⡜⣐⠃⠀⠀⠀⣠⠁⡄⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⠀⢠⠆⢠⡃⠀⠀⠀⣔⠆⡘⡇⢘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⢀⡆⠀⡼⢣⠀⢀⠌⢸⢠⠇⡇⢘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿ ⣼⣃⠀⠁⢸⢀⠎⠀⢸⠎⠀⢸⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠃⡏⠟⣷⣤⠁⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⡾⢀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠋⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠠⡘⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿ ⠈⠀⢿⢗⡻⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⢰⠁⡇⠀⠀⢨⠃⡄⢀⠀⣸⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣱⠀⠀⡎⠸⠁⠀⢀⠞⡸⠀⡜⢠⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣺⣿⣧⢰⣧⡁⡄⠀⡞⠰⠁⡸⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡿⠏⣿⠟⢁⠾⢛⣧⢼⠁⠀⠀⢰⣿⡿⣷⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠡⠄⠀⡠⣚⡷⠊⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⣿⡿⣿ ⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠁⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿ ⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠙⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣾⡿⣷⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⣩⡞⠉⠁⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⡆⠀⠀⣀⡠⠞⠁⣧⢤⣀⣀⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⠊⠁⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⠶⢦⡀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣷⣿⣷⣿ ⣿⢿⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡄⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣾⣷⣿⣿ ⠋⠈⠀⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣽⣾⣿ ⢀⡄⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣻⣿ ⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣻⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣃⡇⠀⠲⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡿⣿ ⣀⠤⠤⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢬⠞⡇⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⡁⢀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠀⠇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠔⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⡃⠀⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣿ ⠒⠊⠀⠀⢸⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⢅⠀⠀⡂⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣟⣿ ⠓⠀⠉⠀⢸⣰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⡆⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠁⠀⢠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠁⡇⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣿ ⡀⠀⢀⢿⣥⡤⠤⠤⠤⣀⣀⢠⠇⠀⢸⠀⠀⢰⠁⠀⢨⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣟⣿
December 2021

Weebs

Anime

My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius

twitchquotes: My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius, commander of the PJSalteers of the North, General of the Salty Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Saltarrian. Father to a Flamestriked son, husband to a Top decked wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this stream or the next.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Just kidding, it's still Tanner

twitchquotes: H-hey Octavian, do you remember me from Biology? Freshman year? It's Laura. I just wanted to stop by since you missed the last reunion, I was looking for you. I always thought you were really smart and talented, but I could never work up the nerve to tell you. Anyway, I hope you're doing well...HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

Is that insider trading?

If you're a passenger on a newly recertified 737MAX and it starts to nosedive into the sea so you buy shitloads of BA puts over WiFi before impact, is that insider trading?
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing