[Copypasta] I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking (Nolan Grayson)

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Nolan Grayson. That perfect, shredded body. The perfectly trimmed mustache. The planet conquering skills of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, have him pass his genes through me, and have me birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance for Nolan Grayson to get me pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Robert Kirkman create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Buff bunny (my gf telling the waitress my food is wrong)

β €β €β €β €β €(\__/)β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €(β€’γ……β€’)β €β €my gf telling the waitress β €οΌΏγƒŽβ €γƒ½β €γƒŽβ €οΌΌοΌΏβ €β €my food is wrong /⠀️⠀Yβ €βŒ’οΌΉβŒ’β €οΌΉβ €οΈβ €οΈγƒ½ (⠀️⠀️⠀️(三ヽ人⠀⠀/β €β €β €| |⠀️⠀️⠀️ノ⠀¯¯\β €οΏ£οΏ£γƒ½γƒŽ γƒ½οΌΏοΌΏοΌΏβ €β €οΌžο½€οΌΏ_/ β €β €β €ο½œβ €(β €ηŽ‹β €)γ€ˆβ €β € (\__/) β €β €β €/⠀⠀ミ`——彑⠀\ (β€’γ……β€’) me
March 2021

So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was β€œpregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020

Kripp's history

twitchquotes: Paparrian was born in Germany, the youngest of the five children (three of whom survived) of Hanz Hector Paparrian, from a noble family of the province of Freiberg. In 1932, he began his medical career in Theodor Meynert's psychiatric clinic at the Trollstein General Hospital. The same year, he married Mamarrian, the granddaughter of Isaac Bernays, a chief rabbi in Hamburg. In the summer of 1935, the couple had a beautiful and gifted child: Kripp. On 15 September 1935, Hitler presented two laws who deprived so-called "non-Aryans" of the benefits of German citizenship. The young parents, extremely afraid for the future of their beautiful child, where confronted to a question that would forever change the fate of the world: was Krip Aryan?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Bullish market makes me hard

When the stocks πŸ“ŠπŸ“ go up πŸ“ˆπŸ’Έ, my dick goes too πŸ†β¬†οΈπŸ˜³. Bullish πŸ‚ market 🏬 makes me hard πŸ¦΄πŸ’¦. All the countries πŸ³οΈπŸ΄πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈπŸπŸš©πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡³ try to recover πŸ”„ from corona 🦠 so the money πŸ’°πŸ’΅πŸ’Έ flows 🌬 into my pocket πŸ’³. Soon πŸ”œ there will be a crash πŸ“‰πŸ˜­πŸ₯ΊπŸ˜– and the bears 🐻 will crawl 🚼 out of their holes πŸ•³. Then they cut off my greedy dick βœ‚οΈπŸ†πŸ©Έ if I don’t ❌ eat ’em out πŸ‘…πŸ˜Έ. I must turn into a bear πŸ‚βž‘οΈπŸ» and make 🀌🏼 more money πŸ’°πŸ’΅πŸ’Έ and eat some honey 🐻🍯. When I’m done βœ… I’ll throw a party πŸŽ‰πŸ·πŸΎ and eat your ass πŸ‘…πŸ‘.
October 2021

Emoji Pasta

WallStreetBets

Roses are red, I'm flexing today

twitchquotes: πŸ’ͺ πŸ˜‚ roses are red πŸ’ͺ πŸ˜‚ violets are blue πŸ’ͺ πŸ˜‚ i'm flexing today πŸ’ͺ πŸ˜‚ why aren't you?? πŸ’ͺ πŸ˜‚
twitch chat
September 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing