[Copypasta] I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking (Nolan Grayson)

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Nolan Grayson. That perfect, shredded body. The perfectly trimmed mustache. The planet conquering skills of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, have him pass his genes through me, and have me birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance for Nolan Grayson to get me pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Robert Kirkman create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
June 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Al salem Kripperion!

twitchquotes: Al salem Kripperion! This be brother Al-Saq-Quadir Prince of Oilrabia, in my country we don't have currency, we only trade in brofist. You have a magnificent one krippFist, I be prepared to offer 50 million USD for your amputated right hand forever preserved while brofisting, thank you for understanding Kripp, and see you in my dungeon.
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

Rainbow Dash

β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–€ β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–“ β–“β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▓░░░░░░░▐▄░▓▓▓▓▓▓ β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“
November 2014

Liberty Mutual Auto Insurance

twitchquotes: 🚢You owned a car πŸš—πŸš— for 4β°πŸ“… yearsβ°πŸ‘. You🚢 named itπŸ‘± BradπŸ‘±. YouπŸ’‘β€πŸ’— lovedπŸ’•BradπŸ’•πŸ˜™. And then you🚢⚠ totaledβš πŸš§πŸš—πŸš™ him🚦. You two πŸ’πŸ’‘had been through everything πŸ‘¬together🎭. πŸ‘¬2 boyfriendsπŸ‘¬, πŸ”¨πŸ”§3 jobsπŸ”«,❌ nothing ❌could replaceπŸ‘± BradπŸ†πŸ†. Then Liberty MutualπŸ“žπŸ“žπŸ“ž calls, and you break into your 😊happy😊 πŸ’ƒdanceπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ†.
twitch chat
October 2016

I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Donging through the snow

twitchquotes: α••ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•— Donging through the snow α••ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•— α••ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•— In a one dong open sleigh α••ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•— over the dongs we go α••ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•— donging all the way α••ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•—
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing