You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
When you clean your vacuum cleaner
twitchquotes:
When you clean your vacuum cleaner, aren't you the vacuum cleaner? 
twitch chat
I was born with glass bones and paper skin
twitchquotes:
I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.
I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.
twitch chat
why would you NOT immediately tell everyone who killed you?
twitchquotes:
So uh. If you're playing Among Us. On a voice call. And you're killed... why would you NOT immediately tell everyone who killed you? Isn't the goal to win if you're crew? Like if you're not gonna tell people on the voice call, why keep doing tasks? What's the point of using the voice comms at all? You're still in it when "dead". To me if a fucking person doesn't use it when they're dead they're throwing. I'd 100% tell my team who killed me if I was killed. The point is for the crew to find out who the impostor is. If you're part of the crew, you should be telling them if you know. If you're not going to do that, you're literally int'ing and throwing. So then why bother doing tasks if you don't want to win? End discussion.
twitch chat
Among Us / Amogus
Coca Cola shortage
twitchquotes:
THIS JUST IN: Stores across the world are reporting a major shortage of 'store brand Cola'. Sources indicate that over 20 million bottles were sold within minutes of an endorsement by some dirty Romanian living in Athens.
twitch chat
Kripp
Magnus Carlsen has the most braindead viewership
twitchquotes:
Itβs funny how arguably the smartest person on this platform also has the most braindead viewership. What the hell even is a copypasta? Grow up.
twitch chat
maskenissen