[Copypasta] You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v2

It's Cinco de mayo... 👀🌮🎉 but all I want 🙏🏻 is cinco DICKS 🌯 in my May-OUTH 😩👅💦 Today the SEXicans 😍🇲🇽 beat the French 😒🇫🇷 at the Battle of Puebla 🔫☠ and now you're gonna get your piñata beat 😜😩 with a huge stick 😳🎉 but ❗️ONLY❗️ if you send 📲 this to 5️⃣ amigos 👬 you'd cross borders ➡️ for 👌🏻💯 Get 5️⃣ back 🔙 and you'll find the Juan for you tonight ❤️☺️😘
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Frog of Ice

twitchquotes: And then from the clouds of cyber space, a chill wind blew upon a mere Paster pleb, it was the frog of ice, and he unveiled upon him the revelations. the revelations foretold of a new patch, a savior. a messiah, the rise of a new hero and the downfall of others. The mere pleb's feet nearly collapsed under him as he was thunderstruck by the knowledge and he ran with what ever breath was within him to spread the good news.
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

Pepega

⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠐⢶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⡀⠁⠁⣠⣀⣀⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁ ⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠙⢿⣯⣠⣶⣦⣤⣤⣌⣛⠻⢇⣠⣤⣤⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁ ⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠻⣿⣿⣿⡟⢉⡤⢤⣤⣤⡍⠛⢡⢖⣥⣶⣦⣀⠁⠁ ⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣠⣿⣿⣿⡏⣭⣶⣿⣿⠟⢿⣦⡡⣿⣿⡇⠁⡙⣷⡀ ⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡞⣿⣿⡟⢀⡀⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣀⣁⣿⠏ ⠁⠁⠁⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢰⢻⣿⣇⣈⣴⣿⠟⢨⣛⠛⠛⠉⠁⠁ ⠁⣠⣶⣿⣿⡟⢋⠤⣤⠘⢿⣿⣧⡙⠻⠌⠒⠙⠛⢛⣫⣥⣿⣦⡈⠉⣡⣴⣾⠇ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⡇⠁⠙⠷⣤⡙⠻⢿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠁ ⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠻⣄⠁⣀⡀⠉⠙⠒⠂⠉⠍⠉⠉⠉⠉⣩⣍⣁⣂⡈⠠⠂⠁⠁ ⠁⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡉⠳⢬⣛⠷⢦⡄⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣀⣼⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠁⠁⠁ ⠁⠁⠁⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣬⣍⣓⡒⠒⣒⣂⣠⡬⠽⠓⠂⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁
November 2018

Pepe

Arrogant globaphopic

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender atheist who vapes and crossfits 4 times a week and im also a male feminist as I identify myself as a pastafarian apache helicopter dog mega multi combo god of hyper death and if you dont agree with me. You're an ignorant arrogant globaphobic sexist lesbian
twitch chat
May 2016

Here in my garage

twitchquotes: Here in my garage, just bought this new Lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Hollywood hills. But you know what I like more than materialistic things? Knowledge. In fact, I’m a lot more proud of these seven new bookshelves that I had to get installed to hold two thousand new books that I bought. It’s like the billionaire Warren Buffett says, “the more you learn, the more you earn.”
twitch chat
August 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing