[Copypasta] You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021
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UwU sentence deterioration

twitchquotes: Imagine reading a post, but over the course of it the quality seems to deteriorate and it gets wose an wose, where the swenetence stwucture and gwammer rewerts to a pwoint of uttew non swence, an u jus dont wanna wead it anymwore (o´ω`o) awd twa wol owdewl iws jus awfwul (Β΄ο½₯Ο‰ο½₯`)
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I can’t escape Fortnite

twitchquotes: I can’t escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, β€œDo you play Fortnite?”. At first I couldn’t process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. β€œDude, do you play Fortnite?” Then I heard someone respond behind me. β€œFortnite?” Then another. β€œYeah, that game.” I couldn’t shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with β€œwhere we droppin' boys?”. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say β€œTilted Towers!”
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November 2018

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That seals the deal. I am no longer a US citizen

twitchquotes: That seals the deal. I am no longer a US citizen. I have been a citizen since 1776 and a voter since 1804. I will not be voting again nor will I be around to see this country fall apart. I’m taking my talents to Somalia where it looks like they know how to run a real country.
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November 2020

2020 US Election

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MY DONGER HAS BEEN SPOOKED

twitchquotes: ༼぀☯﹏☯༽༼぀ MY DONGER HAS BEEN SPOOKED, AND YOURS WILL BE TOO ༼぀☯﹏☯༽༼぀
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imaqtpie
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