[Copypasta] You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021
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More Copypastas

Leifman is abusing his authority as mod again

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, it has come to my attention that one of your mods "Leifman" has been abusing his authority as mod and banning people for no good reason. I would appreciate if you took some time out of your schedule to take action and remove his mod status. Thank you!
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

I can't believe it's already MLK eve

๐Ÿ’I CAN'T ๐Ÿ•ถ BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY ๐Ÿ’ƒM๐Ÿ‘L ๐Ÿ‘K ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ—ฃ EVE!! TONIGHT ๐ŸŒ› WE WILL GATHER ๐Ÿ‘ช WITH OUR FAMILIESโค NOT ONLY TO PRAY๐Ÿ™ TO MLK ๐Ÿ‘AND LET HIM KNOW๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ WHAT GIFTS๐ŸŽ WE WOULD ๐Ÿ˜šLIKE ๐Ÿ˜™ TO RECEIVE๐Ÿ† ON MLK DAY ๐ŸŒž BUT TO REMEMBER ๐Ÿ˜‚ THAT MLKโค IS THE REAL REASON ๐ŸŽถ FOR ๐ŸŽตTHE ๐ŸŽถ SEASONโœ” SEND THIS TO TEN OTHER TRUE MLK FANS๐Ÿ’ฏ OR YOUR BROTHERS ๐Ÿ™‹ AND SISTERS๐Ÿ™† WILL BE FOREVER OPPRESSED ๐Ÿ˜”
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

MLK Day

Chat analyses Kripp's painting

twitchquotes: I honestly can't believe the idiocy of this chat sometimes. The green obviously represents Kripp's veganism, which is contrasted by the red below it, symbolizing animals and meat. The orange in the middle is a masterful representation of Kripp's balding spot, and the black strokes surrounding it are his attempts to hide it.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Spam so I may stay warm

twitchquotes: Hello chat. My home is very cold and I do not know if I will make it through the night. Whenever the chat spams, my old laptop heats up very quickly. It is the only thing keeping me alive. Please chat, spam as much as possible so I may stay warm and survive the frigid night.
twitch chat
June 2019

I think Zarya smells like dandelions

twitchquotes: I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze. Her colored hair gives of the scent of strawberries in bloom, and her pink gun leaves a smell of bubblegum when shot. Her body smells of sweat, and a strong womanhood. I would love to stuff my head right into her armpit and smother myself. To smell her tomboyish energy. I would die for this.
twitch chat
December 2016

Overwatch

Text-to-Speech Playing