You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
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More Copypastas
The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza
The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
Dear Hunter in chat, you are smart player
twitchquotes:
Dear Hunter in chat, you are smart player. Whatever is going on in your laddering right now, please know that you go face and you only ever go face. You are skilled.
Dear Hunter in chat, you are smart player. Whatever is going on in your laddering right now, please know that you go face and you only ever go face. You are skilled.
twitch chat
strifecro
Hearthstone
Don't even try to compare Xqc to Forsen
twitchquotes:
Don't even try to compare Xqcow to frozen. Xqcow is god, frozen is dog. Xqcow is smart, frozen is a wet shart. Xqcow makes Poggers plays, frozen is a glorified sleep aid. Xqcow is the juicer, frozen is a fruit. Capiche kiddo?
twitch chat
Forsen
Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?
Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? Iβve never heard that joke before, but itβs so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. Thereβs a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just canβt get over this joke. Iβm giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kidβs Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, βI hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.β I will tell my children, and my childrenβs children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. Iβm fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. Iβm gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. Itβs gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, βI identify as an attack helicopter.β Itβll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just canβt believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think Iβm going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I canβt believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think Iβm going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but thatβs okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I wonβt forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
Y U NO
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