You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Taco did we come back?
twitchquotes:
Taco: "Actually, I remember one time we were playing against Virtus Pro, Nuke, and it was 15-5 to VP. We were playing as T. VP are CT. And Fallen said, guys if you think we are good, let's prove it now." Teammate: "Did you come back?" Taco: "Of course not. 16-5."
twitch chat
CSGO
๐HAPPY SPANKSGIVING๐ฆ
โผ๏ธITS๐ SPANKSGIVING ๐ BITCHESโผ๏ธOn this day ๐ many years ago ๐ฎ the SLUTTY ๐ PILGRIMS ๐ฉ sailed โต๏ธ across the ASSlantic ๐ HOEcean in a quest ๐to find ๐ more ๐ COCKS ๐ to SUCK! ๐
Together with the ๐ NAUGHTY ๐ NATIVES ๐น, they gathered ๐ซ around the dinner table ๐ฝ and had ๐ our nationโs very 1๏ธโฃst GANG BANG! ๐ฏโโ๏ธ๐ฏ๐ฏโโ๏ธ We honor ๐๐ป their ORGY ๐ฎ every year ๐ by giving THANKS ๐๐ผ to all ๐ฅฐ thatโs important โค๏ธ to us: Family ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆ, Friends ๐ฌ, Freedom ๐บ๐ธ, and DICK! ๐๐ฝ๐
So grab your BUNS, ๐โ๐๐squeeze those BREASTS, ๐๐ฅ๐คฒ and shove a cornaCOPIOUS ๐ฝ๐ฝ amount of DICK ๐ ๐ฉ into that hungry ๐ฎ hungry HOLE! ๐ณ๐๐
Ladies ๐ฏโโ๏ธ, just like your ๐ฆ THOTSgiving ๐ฆ turkey, itโs time โฐ to throw your legs ๐คธ๐ผโโ๏ธin the air ๐คธ๐ผโโ๏ธand prepare to get โก๏ธ STUFFED ๐!
After dinner,๐ดitโs time ๐ฎ for CUMPKIN PIE!! ๐ฅง Show Daddy ๐จ๐ฝโ๐ฆณ how ๐๐ผ thankful ๐๐ผ you are and LICKK ๐ his WishBONE ๐ฆด until he gets as HARD ๐as PlyMOUTH rock โฐ and shoots ๐ฆ his HOMEADE GRAVY ๐ฅฃ! ๐
Midnight ๐ starts ๐ BLACK โฌ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐ so send ๐ค this to ๐ THOTS ๐๐ปโโ๏ธyou are thankful ๐๐ผ for! If you get 0๏ธโฃ back, sail ๐ to England ๐๐ป๐คฎ If you get 5๏ธโฃ back, youโll be getting your corn ๐ฝ CREAMED ๐๐ฅฐ. Get ๐ back or more, and the ๐ BIGGEST, ๐ GIRTHIEST, BLACKโซ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐ COCK ๐ฑ is CUMMING ๐ฆYOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT ๐๐๐๐๐๐
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
Thanksgiving
NSFW
Holiday
I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.
I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? Iโm 6.
This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
WallStreetBets
Am I The Asshole?
Purify is not particularly fun or interactive
twitchquotes:
Purify created a strategy that revolved around trying to lose to your opponent in one turn without requiring any cards on the board. Silencing your own minions and battles between the players and Blizzard make an overall game of Hearthstone more fun and compelling, but spending 2 mana on a trash card in one turn is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
Reynad