[Copypasta] You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Any Bruvs?

⢏⣤⣶⡶⣌⡛⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦⣽⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⠿⣿⣿⣷⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠿⣿⣷⣆⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡳⣬⡛⢿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣾⣟⠙⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠊⢀⢹⣿⡿⢿⠿⢿⡿⢿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡁⠀⠾⠄⢻⡇⢰⣶⠀⣿⡄⠿⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⢉⣼⠇⣀⣼⣷⡈⣇⢸⣿⡀⣿⣧⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠰⠿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⠙⠛⠟⠙⠋⠋⠉⣀⠀⣶⣶⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⡛⢿ ⣶⣄⢀⣀⣀⣠⡄⠚⠛⠡⣿⡇⣡⣼⠀⣿⡇⢹⡄⢿⠏⣸⠋⢤⣌⣻⣶⣿⠏⣸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⠇⣸⡇⣿⣿⠀⢿⠇⢸⣷⠘⢠⣿⠓⢶⠄⢹⣿⡧⢼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣷⣿⣿⣷⣶⣷⣾⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿
December 2021

My eyes are open

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ MY EYES, ARE OPEN ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

is that… a GIRL?!!!?

is that… a GIRL?!!!? Uhhhhhhhhhhhh girls? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh like, here? *starts sweating* uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *starts drooling* uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *wide eyed* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts farting* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts shitting with bloodshot eyes* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *poopie leaking out of my shorts* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts convulsing which makes the shit run down my shaved legs even faster* UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH *gets a boner* UUUHHH-UHHH-UHHHHH-UUUUHHHH-UHHHH-UUUUHHHHHHH-UUUUHHHHHHHHH-UHHHHH-UUUUUUHHHHHHHHH *passes out*
May 2022

Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

Soju Going 8th Checklist

GOING 8TH CHECKLIST: I already won the game ✔ This lobby’s playing for second ✔ This is my last loss ✔ I win out from here ✔ My board is too lit ✔ HP is fake ✔ I’m about to spike hard ✔ That’s a fake loss ✔ 20hp? That’s 3 lives ✔ This game is over ✔ We win out ✔
July 2022
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

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