[Copypasta] You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021
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It seems you've tarried Mrump

twitchquotes: Do you take Rania to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asks the priest. Kripp smiles as he slips the ring on her finger. "Yes I do," he says, squinting in the glare of a foggy day. The priest says, "You may kiss the bride." as the crowd cheers. Kripp lifts Rania's veil and recoils in horror. Trump smirks, "It seems you've tarried Mrump."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static
March 2021

Circle game got'em

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣄⡀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⠃⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢠⡀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⣷⡄⠀⠣⣄⡀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⣿⣿⣦⠀⠹⣿⣷⣶⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⢛⡙⢻⠛⣉⢻⣉⢈⣹⣿⣿⠟⣉⢻⡏⢛⠙⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠻⠃⣾⠸⠟⣸⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⡀⠴⠞⡇⣾⡄⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⠛⣃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2020

Classic

Frog of Ice

twitchquotes: And then from the clouds of cyber space, a chill wind blew upon a mere Paster pleb, it was the frog of ice, and he unveiled upon him the revelations. the revelations foretold of a new patch, a savior. a messiah, the rise of a new hero and the downfall of others. The mere pleb's feet nearly collapsed under him as he was thunderstruck by the knowledge and he ran with what ever breath was within him to spread the good news.
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

xqcEZ emote

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠂⠀⠀ ⠠⠾⠿⠿⠛⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⠴⢤⠀ ⣀⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣆⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⠘⣻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠟⠃⠀ ⢿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⠀ ⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢛⣿⣄⠈⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2021
xQcOW
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