[Copypasta] You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Guys I am worried after what my homie did

twitchquotes: Guys I am worried after what my homie did. Me and my homie were bored one day so we got together and always said no homo. We adopted 2 kids and have spent 1 year together and we are engaged and getting married. So one day I am feeling horny and I go to my homie and we fuck, it's good, and I said no homo. 6 minutes in I notice his socks aren't on and then it hits me, he didn't say no homo I am shocked. I asked him to say no homo but he ignored me. Is he gay? Am I gay? How do I tell the kids that?
twitch chat
April 2020

KappaPride

Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see β€œyou are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasureπŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜β€ will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021

SUS

⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
August 2021

Among Us / Amogus

United States of America is now known as West Iran

twitchquotes: The year is 2024. The United States of America is now known as West Iran after the assassination of Supreme Leader Donald Trump from drone warfare. I hide in my nuclear bunker, praying to God that I survive another night. I open my laptop and see Kripp streaming some HS battlegrounds, still forcing murlocs and hardstuck at 7k MMR. "Still never lucky, huh old friend..." I whisper to myself as the bombs fall outside...
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Think again next time you call our chatroom yours

twitchquotes: You banned someone for posting something in "your chatroom"? I'll have you know that we, CHAT, rule this chatroom. We MAKE you, we OWN you, we pay your bills, we pay for your food, we pay for the small trojan box of condoms you bought last night, this isn't your chatroom bud. This is our chatroom . Think again next time you call our chatroom yours, it's ours.
twitch chat
June 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing