[Copypasta] You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021
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More Copypastas

Imagine being Bill Gates right now.

Imagine being Bill Gates right now. You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education. Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will.. Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live. You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
February 2021

Spam is a brand of several canned precooked meat products

twitchquotes: Spam is a brand of several canned precooked meat products made by the Hormel Foods Corporation. It was first introduced in 1937 and gained popularity worldwide after its use during World War 2
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I've always wanted to be an octopusserino

twitchquotes: ive always wanted to be an octopusserino but everytime i try to tell someone they make fun of me. well ive had it up to here. today is the day i put my tentacles down. im sick and tired of people telling me what i can and cant be. i will be getting surgery to split my legs like pasterinos so i can have tentacles if you copy and pasterino my story to mock me i swear i will ink all over your face!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Priorities yo

twitchquotes: Kripp you obviously don't understand it's viewers that bring you money, and your job is to entertain them. Playing deathwing will decrease your chance to win by 1% but get all the viewers happy. Priorities yo.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Red crew mate

๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Žโ€Ž โ€Ž๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing