[Copypasta] mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun

twitchquotes: Hi guys, please be careful - if you keep writing the same message, mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun last year at World's. This is your last warning. I am a Twitch moderator.
twitch chat
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Kripp this is Pornhub LLC

twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

hello my name is Carlos i from Turkmenistan

twitchquotes: hello my name is Carlos i from Turkmenistan. I watch master Q.T.PIE stream everytiem. i have no arm or leg so i playing with my huge !@#$%. I quit my job at the teemo mushroom factori to becom pro player. I go from bronze IV to gold IX in six monts. pls no
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Imposter broke into my house!

So yesterday I was eating with my family when all of a sudden a “crew mate” broke in through the front door. He had a ski mask on and a gun which was sus, but he a good skin. My father told us all to hide so we don’t get killed by the obvious imposter. I could see him from my hiding spot under the table and he looked sus. So I told my dad “DAD YOU THINK HE IS THE IMPOSTER? HE IS SUS!” I yelled as loud as I could. The imposter found us hiding and shot my father five times. The imposter was so dumb, who kills someone in front of crew mates? I ran to call the emergency meeting by grabbing my phone off the table when I heard my mother get shot and scream for me. Lol she was so bad at among us. My teammates sucked and were dying to the worst Imposter. So I called the emergency meeting and for some reason a S.W.A.T team rammed down the door and killed the imposter. Lol that’s not how the game goes, I think they were hacking.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Wife attack AITA?

I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
December 2019

Am I The Asshole?

What you guys have no Szechuan sauce?

What you guys have no Szechuan sauce? I WANT SZECHUAN SAUCE! WHERE'S MY SZECHUAN SAUCE??!! I'M PICKLE RICK!!!!!!!! WUBBALUBBADUBDUB!!!!!! I'M PICKLE RICK!!!! REEEEEEEEE!!!! REEEEE!!!! REEEEE!!!! IM PICKLE REEEEEEEEE!!!! REEEEEE!!!!! REEEEE!!!!!!
December 2020

Rick and Morty

Text-to-Speech Playing