[Copypasta] mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun

twitchquotes: Hi guys, please be careful - if you keep writing the same message, mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun last year at World's. This is your last warning. I am a Twitch moderator.
twitch chat
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021

Well met m'ladies of Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ ᴍ'ʟᴀᴅɪᴇs ᴏғ Tᴡɪᴛᴄʜ Cʜᴀᴛ! I'ᴍ ᴀɴ ᴇʟɪɢɪʙʟᴇ, ғᴀsʜɪᴏɴᴀʙʟᴇ (ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴛᴀɪʟᴏʀᴇᴅ ғᴇᴅᴏʀᴀs) ʙᴀᴄʜᴇʟᴏʀ, ᴡʜᴏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏs ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ғɪɴᴇsᴛ Dᴏʀɪᴛᴏs (Cᴏᴏʟ Rᴀɴᴄʜ). Iғ ᴀɴʏ ʙᴜxᴏᴍ ғᴇᴍᴀʟᴇs (ɴᴏ ғᴀᴛᴛɪᴇs) ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ sᴇx, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ Tᴡɪᴛᴄʜ PM.
twitch chat
May 2015
Tempo Storm

I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps

twitchquotes: Trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable *** off the face of the continent, you little ***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your *** tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will *** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re *** dead, kiddo.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽
twitch chat
August 2015

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
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