Most people donβt know but back in 1912, Hellmanβs mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of this delicious condiment, scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, which was to be the port for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest ever shipment on mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know the great ship did not make it to New York. This ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about the tantalising condiment, and were eagerly awaiting the delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. The anguish was so great that they declared a national day of warning which they sill observe to this day. The national day of mourning occurs every year on the 5th of May, you probably know it as Cinco de Mayo
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Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?
Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? Iβve never heard that joke before, but itβs so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. Thereβs a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just canβt get over this joke. Iβm giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kidβs Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, βI hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.β I will tell my children, and my childrenβs children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. Iβm fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. Iβm gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. Itβs gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, βI identify as an attack helicopter.β Itβll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just canβt believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think Iβm going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I canβt believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think Iβm going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but thatβs okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I wonβt forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
Spam so I may stay warm
twitchquotes:
Hello chat. My home is very cold and I do not know if I will make it through the night. Whenever the chat spams, my old laptop heats up very quickly. It is the only thing keeping me alive. Please chat, spam as much as possible so I may stay warm and survive the frigid night.
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Jam a man of fortune xQc
#JusticeForHuffer
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Kripp
Story of Felipe
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Let me tell you about Felipe. Felipe is good boy from Guadalajara. He wake at 6:00 to make food for white man. He eat his chipotle like a good boy, and clean the taco like a good boy. When he finish burrito he play stonehearth, but Felipe is sad. Felipe say he no win because of Kripp, and Felipe want retribution. Beware your taco kripp, it may have jalapeno poison...
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Kripp