Most people don’t know but back in 1912, Hellman’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of this delicious condiment, scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, which was to be the port for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest ever shipment on mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know the great ship did not make it to New York. This ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about the tantalising condiment, and were eagerly awaiting the delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. The anguish was so great that they declared a national day of warning which they sill observe to this day. The national day of mourning occurs every year on the 5th of May, you probably know it as Cinco de Mayo
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Kripp
My poop story
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My poop story.
I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened.
That is my poop story.
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Police clearing out a homeless encampment
On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and haven’t been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
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Emoji move emoji review
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A 👌 whole 💦 town 🏪 of 💦 beings, 👀 confined to 💦 feeling 😜 one 😤 emotion their 🍆 entire 👏 life. 👤 That 😐 could 🔒 honestly 👏 be 🐝 the 👏 focus of 💦 an 👹 entire 👏 movie, 🎥 but 🍑 in 👏 the 👏 emoji 😂 movie 🎥 that's 😦 just 👏 the 👏 world 🌎 they 👥 live 🙅 in, 👏 and 👏 yet 😇 these 👈 beings 👀 don't 🚫 question 😩 it 💯 and 👏 carry 🔛 on 🔛 their 🍆 lives 📴 as 🍑 normal... 😐 the 👏 emoji 😂 movie 🎥 takes 😉 a 👌 far 🌌 more 🍗 subtle 🙈 approach 😜 meaning critics probably 😻 didn't 🚫 notice the 👏 strong 💪 existential themes present 💲 in 👏 the 👏 film upon 👦 first 👆 viewing.
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