[Copypasta] Cinco de Mayo origin

Most people don’t know but back in 1912, Hellman’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of this delicious condiment, scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, which was to be the port for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest ever shipment on mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know the great ship did not make it to New York. This ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about the tantalising condiment, and were eagerly awaiting the delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. The anguish was so great that they declared a national day of warning which they sill observe to this day. The national day of mourning occurs every year on the 5th of May, you probably know it as Cinco de Mayo
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