[Copypasta] Cinco de Mayo origin

Most people don’t know but back in 1912, Hellman’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of this delicious condiment, scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, which was to be the port for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest ever shipment on mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know the great ship did not make it to New York. This ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about the tantalising condiment, and were eagerly awaiting the delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. The anguish was so great that they declared a national day of warning which they sill observe to this day. The national day of mourning occurs every year on the 5th of May, you probably know it as Cinco de Mayo
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Kripp, on behalf of the entire Greek country, I would like to thank you for single handedly restoring our economy with your endless supplies of salt. Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export. Most excellent, all hail Kripperino!
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Kripp's salt

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–β–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’ β–’β–’β–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–€β–„β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–β–β–Œβ–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
ascii art
November 2014
Kripp

Offline Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: wait people are still here? lol thats really weird. i was just gunna click on a vod to watch cuz a friend recommended it and saw you guys still sitting here when the streamer isnt even live. Honestly you guys need a life lmfao, sitting it a streamers chat all day wont make you feel better and it wont improve your chances of sleeping with her, not like you had any to begin with lmfao. you guys are just so pathetic. Later!
twitch chat
January 2021

Positive "Give me a second guys" copypasta

twitchquotes: β€œGive me a second, guys,” Kripp says. β€œGotta hit up the bathroom” He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately springs up from his chair and shouts "I LOVE THIS GAME!" before giving Dex a swift pat on the head. As Dex yips loudly in delight, Kripp runs over to give Rania a kiss on the cheek. Rania then tries to take out the trash, but Kripp swiftly grabs the bag from her and does it for her. Elated, Kripp wipes the sweat off his forehead, sits back down, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
November 2020
Kripp

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a trollface cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing a trollface mask and black morph suit. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as your mother (after I have sexual intercourse with her) and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made me feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my morph suit. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Cover yourself in oil." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "You mad bro?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "We do a little trolling!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'm still Trollface."
September 2021

NSFW

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