[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
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Yo boys u ready for the perfect pyramid LUL ?

twitchquotes: Yo boys u ready for the perfect pyramid LUL ? I’m a god xDxDxD LUL xD look at the most perfect LUL pyramid. LUL LUL Try like me! Can’t without dank meme LUL LUL LUL And now look it will be o very tall LUL LUL LUL LUL Can you do a 5 line pyramid? LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL What about 6 lines XD LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL Try it! Copy it! LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL Here it’s 8 LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL it is 9! LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL
twitch chat
May 2019

SMOrc

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣯⣽⣶⣶⣾⣕⣝⣧⣣⢫⡋⡿⠿⣇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢖⢬⣍⠻⣿⣿⡜⢧⠑⣴⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀ ⠀⠐⠻⣿⣿⣟⣛⡻⠶⣦⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⢿⣿⣿⢙⠛⣃⠬⢄⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⠁⠀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣚⣏⣴⢟⣟⠁⣰⠀⡇⣄⣽⣿⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣶⡾⠿⢻⣿⣿⡛⠋⠁⣠⢏⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⡘⡜⡿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⡿⣿⢻⡧⢀⡞⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣷⢁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡿⣼⣳⢿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠶⣶⣍⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⢷⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠀⢶⠂⠶⠀⠄⠄⡤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠈⣿⣿⠟⠀⣰⡇⢀⡀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠉⣤⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠼⠷⢿⣇⢸⣷⡀⣾⡆⣾⣷⠠⡿⠆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣽⣿⣷⣿⡿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣦⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣈⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣯⣭⣯⣭⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⡈⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠿⠛⠛⠁⠈⠉⠙⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀
October 2020

boatyVV

─────────────▄▄████▄▄▄▄─ ─▄███▄▄───▄─▀▀────────▀█ ────────▐▒───────▗███▛── ──▄██───█▒────────────── ───────█▒─────────────── ──────▄▀────────▓─────── ─────█▒──────────▓────── ────█▒──────▄▄▄▄▄▀───▄▄▄ ─▄▄─█▄▒▒▒▄███▄▄▛▀▀▀▀▀▄▄█ ─█─▀█▀▀▀▀▀────▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▄▀─ ──█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀──▄▄▄▀─── ───▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀──────
September 2018

Mew

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠞⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠋⠀⢰⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⢆⣤⡞⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⢠⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⡤⠴⠊⠉⠀⠀⠈⠳⡀⠀⠀⠘⢎⠢⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠳⣄⠀⠀⡠⡤⡀⠀⠘⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠒⠺⠭⢵⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢹⡆⠀⢷⡇⠁⠀⠀⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢤⠀⠀⠘⢷⣆⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⠒⢤⡄⠖⢾⣭⣤⣄⠀⡔⢢⠀⡀⠎⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡀ ⠀⠀⢀⡤⠜⠃⠀⠀⠘⠛⣿⢸⠀⡼⢠⠃⣤⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠸⠶⠖⢏⠀⠀⢀⡤⠤⠇⣴⠏⡾⢱⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⡀⠿⠀⠀⠀⡽⣰⢶⡼⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⠟⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⣀⡶⠤⣷⣅⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡠⢔⠕⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠫⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
January 2022

Pokemon

Don't ever smoke

twitchquotes: My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your stream gave me cancer anyway.
twitch chat
January 2020

Classic

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