[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE?

โ€ผ๏ธHOLY FUCKING SHITโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ JOSUKE IS SO BADASSSSS ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š ORAORAORAORAORALORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜กWRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Oh youโ€™re approaching meโ“โ“โ“โ“โ“โ“โ“โ“โ“โ“But it was me, Dioโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
August 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

chat will copy and paste any long paragraph

twitchquotes: i love [streamer name] so much. he goes live everyday and is full of energy. im not even gonna type anything that makes sense cause chat will copy and paste it anyways. the proof to my theory will be present if chat gets filled with this paragraph
twitch chat
October 2020

Twitch Viewbot Premium Package

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid Hello, thank you for ordering the Twitch Viewbot Premium Package for $550 which will last 2 months and end on 8/13/17. This subscription will have your chat enter life-like messages that are believable and you'll never be suspected! Here are some examples: PogChamp PogChamp PogChamp how do you play this game? PJSalt what game is this? Additionally, upgrade for another $50 and earn the message: BabyRage STRIMMER TURN THIS DUMB SHIT OFF BabyRage MrDestructoid
twitch chat
June 2017

Viewbots

Hello Moonman or whatever your name is

twitchquotes: Hello Moonman or whatever your name is, I just wanted to tell you to please stop ruining my chat experience with these "smugs" and "smegs" and what not. Honestly, I find them absolutely infuriating to see in every chatroom I stumble upon. Fuck that dumb purple lady.
twitch chat
November 2019
MOONMOON

im such a nice guy, i deserve a girlfriend

twitchquotes: im such a nice guy, i deserve a girlfriend, yesterday i always commented how nice poki looked instead of making weird sexual comments like the weridos there
twitch chat
October 2020

Simps

Text-to-Speech Playing