[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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All I want to do is spam xqcL

twitchquotes: Guys, I'm very sad. All I want to do is spam xqcL and spread happiness to the world of Twitch, but I can't do that if I don't have a xQc subscription. If anyone here would look deep in to their heart and ask themselves "can I do my part and help others join the jungle? Yes! Yes I can! I will gift this poor soul a subbie so they can spread love like everyone else widepeepoHappy ". Please take heed to what I have spoken and consider helping a friend out. xqcL
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September 2019
xQcOW

Hey NON Subs, Thanks for watching the ads for me

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey NON Subs, Thanks for watching the ads for me ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
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June 2015
Trump

plebs vs subs

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⣛⣛⠛⠒⠲⠶⠦⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠏⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⠶⣛⣩⣥⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⣤⣤⣭⣭⣉⣉⣛⣛⣻⣭⣥⠬⡍⠛⢶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⠃⠀⠀⣠⡶⢋⡵⢛⡩⠵⠒⠒⠒⠒⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⠤⠤⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠘⢁⡴⢋⣴⢿⠒⠈⠉⣏⠉⠐⠒⡾⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠀⠀⢀⣀⣈⣙⣆⡀⠀⠀⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠟⣁⠀⠁⢀⣤⣦⣤⡀⠘⠀⢈⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣇⠖⠉⠙⠅⠀⠀⠉⠉⠑⢦⡈⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⢿⣧⠤⠤⠤⠄⠀⠖⣿⠀⠃⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠀⠐⠁⢸⡇⠀⣀⣰⠉⠠⠀⠀⣰⣶⣷⣶⠀⠀⠀⢱⡈⢻⣦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⡿⣱⠋⢀⣴⠶⠚⠻⢶⣤⡘⢧⣄⠆⠂⠀⡉⠉⣉⣀⣀⠉⣠⡟⠁⠀⠉⢻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠟⠛⠀⠀⢈⡿⢍⢢⢹⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⡇⢠⣿⠁⠀⢰⣦⡀⠉⠉⠀⠈⠙⠲⠾⠾⠶⠶⠶⠚⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣯⡑⠢⢤⣀⣂⣀⣨⠤⠒⠛⠃⠘⡆⡇⡧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⡇⢸⡇⢠⣴⣾⠋⠛⢷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⠤⠴⢠⠶⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣷⠀⠀⡼⢡⢣⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⣧⠘⠿⠀⠀⠸⣧⡀⠀⠈⢻⡿⢶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠸⣆⠐⠟⠻⠷⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠛⠃⠑⠤⠀⢀⣼⣿⡇⢀⠤⢂⣾⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣌⠑⠦⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣷⣤⣸⣷⡀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢿⣶⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣠⡴⣿⠉⣿⣿⠀⠀⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⣼⠁⠀⠈⠉⠙⣿⠛⠛⠻⢿⠿⠛⠛⢻⡇⠀⢸⡀⣹⣿⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣿⣄⣀⣀⣸⣄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣦⠀⠘⣿⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠘⢷⡀⠘⡟⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠻⣾⡃⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣄⠈⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⣹⠇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣄⠈⠛⠷⣼⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⡿⠀⢸⠇⣘⣧⠟⠀⢀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢷⣄⡀⠀⠙⠻⠷⠶⣶⣾⣿⣤⣀⣠⣿⣄⣀⣴⠷⠶⠿⠿⠟⠋⠀⢀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⡤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

agontfConcern

⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠕⠕⠕⢕⢕ ⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠁⣁⣠⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⡄⢑ ⢕⢕⢕⠅⢁⣴⣤⠀⣀⠁⠑⠑⠁⢁⣀⣀⣀⣀⣘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢁⢔ ⢕⢕⠕⠀⣿⡁⠄⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣥⠤⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡟⠀⢔⢕ ⢕⠕⠁⣴⣦⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠻⣇⠐⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠐⢕⢕ ⠅⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠐⢕ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠐ ⢄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢕⢔⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢄⠈⠳⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣭⡍⢭⡍⢨⣯⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢕⢕⠀⠈⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⠛⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢕⠁⢠⣾⣶⣾⣭⣖⣛⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⢕⢕⠅⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠈⢿⣿⣿⡇ ⢕⠕⠀⠼⠟⢉⣉⡙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣛⣭⡴⠶⠶⠂⠀⠿⠿⠇
May 2022
AgonTFT

Teamfight Tactics

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Everyone please STOP SPAMMING

twitchquotes: Everyone, please STOP SPAMMING, it is very INCONSIDERATE of the folks who are trying to have REAL CONVERSATIONS. Plz no copy pastarino Frappaccino-mochaccino-capuccino, macarino Eddie Pasterino pepperoncino kakaino poopieino peepeeino dickarino assarino skillswiperino salterino bad-luckerino Al Pacino with his dongerino in San Bernardino.
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May 2014
Kripp
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