[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Yao Ming Face / Bitch Please

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
July 2015

Bonjourno my name es Luigi

twitchquotes: Bonjourno my name es Luigi and i am from italiano and i own a restaurant called Dongerino where we make the best copy pasterino and copy pizzarino in the whole world so if you go to italiano plis come visit us you wont be disapointino. Sry for bad americano and plis no coperino pasta alfredo ravioli ravili give me the formuoli
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Old WeirdChamp

โกˆโ ‰โฃธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ›โฃ›โฃ›โฃ›โฃฉโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃตโขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก†โก€ โ „โข€โฃคโ ›โข›โกฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃญโฃญโฃฅโฃพโฃฏโฃญโฃญโฃฝโฃ‡โขปโฃฟโขปโฃฟโก‡ โ „โ ˆโ โกโก„โ ‹โ ‰โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โกˆโ ‰โ ปโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ ›โฃปโก›โ ซโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ธโข‹โฃฟโขŸโก‡ โ „โ  โก†โก‡โ ˆโข โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโก‚โ „โ ›โ ƒโ „โฃโกŸโ “โ „โ „โฃ€โฃ€โฃ โฃคโฃ€โ ‰โฃผโก‡ โ †โ „โฃญโ โ ฑโขโก‹โ  โ „โ „โขดโฃ’โฃ‰โฃ€โก€โฃ“โฃถโฃถโ †โ „โ ˜โ ‹โ ‰โ ›โ ปโขฟโฃฟโ „โฃฟโก‡ โก”โ „โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โข™โฃ›โฃ’โ ’โข’โฃŠโฃฉโฃฉโฃฟโก‡โขธโฃฟโฃฟโขธโกทโฃฒโฃพโฃ…โ ’โขโฃ โฃโฃคโ ฟโ ‡ โ „โข€โ Ÿโขปโฃฟโฃตโฃฆโฃคโฃฌโฃคโฃคโฃดโฃฟโ ‹โ „โฃผโฃฟโฃฟโ ˆโขฐโฃ„โ šโ ’โ คโ คโข”โฃปโฃฟโก’โ „ โ „โ ˆโ „โฃพโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโฃ›โฃ€โ „โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ ธโขฟโฃฟโฃถโฃถโฃฎโฃโฃโ „โก†โ „ โ „โ „โฃฆโข›โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ›โฃโ šโ ฟโฃฟโข โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โขธโก†โ ™โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃดโกทโ „ โก†โ „โ „โ ฐโกซโ โ ทโ ‹โข€โฃพโขฟโกณโฃ€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃธโฃฆโก™โ ŸโฃฟโฃŸโฃฟโกโขƒโฃฐ โก‡โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโขโ „โกถโ Šโฃ‡โกˆโฃฅโฃญโฃฝโก†โ „โ „โ ฒโฃคโฃˆโข‹โกฟโฃทโ „โขฑโ –โ ›โขฑโฃผโฃฟ โฃงโ „โ „โ „โข โฃฟโก€โ „โ „โ „โ šโ ‰โ ญโ ญโ โ ปโ ฏโกญโ ญโฃŸโกณโ †โฃฟโก‡โฃผโ บโ ฑโ ˆโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโ „โ „โฃตโกˆโฃนโกทโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃคโฃ€โฃ’โฃ–โฃ’โก’โ ’โฃ’โข โฃถโฃฆโก‰โฃถโก—โขฑโ ‡โฃผโฃฟโฃฟ โกฟโข โ „โ ˜โขฃโ ˆโ „โขปโฃฌโก˜โ ‹โ ‰โ „โ „โ „โ ‰โ ‰โ Šโ „โ šโ โฃโฃตโ ›โ โขŠโฃคโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃทโขนโฃงโ „โ ˆโขƒโ „โ „โ ˜โข›โฃทโฃคโฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃคโฃฌโขนโ Ÿโขฟโ „โข€โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
ascii art
November 2021

Anyone basing trades on technical analysis right now is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking technical analysis when they can't even do basic fraction arithmetic much less understand Ito Calculus. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a number you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not you deserve losing all and hanging yourself. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade shit you know about and feel still hasn't been spotted by the bandwagon of smooth brains on subreddits like this one or r/stocks . Or alternatively manipulate the market like the rich investors you look up to do. Warren Buffet's dad was a politician, if you think that shit didn't help that fat fuck then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about volatility and RSI. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in Hawaii with a fat titty chick not on Reddit posting "technical analysis".
February 2022

WallStreetBets

Ming like a Lee

twitchquotes: Fly like a butterfly (ใƒŽ๏ฟฃใƒผ๏ฟฃ)ใƒŽ Sting like a bee (โ”Œ๏พŸะด๏พŸ)โ”Œ RNG pls bless me ใƒพ( อยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)ใƒŽโ™ช Ming like a Lee ใƒฝ MingLee ใƒŽโ™ชโ™ฌ
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad
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