[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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You've gotten too popular too fast

twitchquotes: gachiGASM =/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿ monkaS You've gotten too popular too fast. There's only room for one emoticon in this chat
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February 2017

Classic

Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021

DansGame

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November 2014

Confused DrDisrespect

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⣉⣀⣀⣈⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠛⠁⣠⣤⣤⣤⣄⠈⠋⠁⠠⣾⡿⠛⠛⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣴⣶⣦⣤⡀⠙⢿ ⠃⢰⣿⠿⠛⠛⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⡿⠁⠄⠂⠂⠄⠘⠉⠙⠻⣿⣦⠈ ⣦⣤⣀⣀⠈⢠⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⣠⣴⣾⣿⠏⢠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣈⠛⠋⠉⠄⢠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⢰⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⡈⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⢉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠦⡘⠿⠿⣿⡿⣧⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⢀⡌⠁⠄⠄⠄⣹⠟⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣷⣦⡤⣾⣿⣷⢄⣀⣀⣠⣶⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⢿⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣉⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣆⣼⣿⠲⠲⠶⢦⣄⡀⠻⡏⠄⠄⠰⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠻⢝⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⠟⢃⡄⠁⠄⠄⠸⣾⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠟⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠁⠚⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠿⣿⣿⣿
May 2020
DrDisRespectLIVE

This guy's appendicitis is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ “This guy's appendicitis is CRAZY!” ☑ “My appendix can't win against an appendicitis like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely that appendicitis to win" ☑ “He topdecked the only appendicitis that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect infection" ☑ “There was nothing I could do” ☑ “I played that perfectly"
twitch chat
October 2017
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

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