[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Oops, sorry! This Twitch Chat message is only visible to TempoStorm Premium Subscribers

twitchquotes: [Oops, sorry! This Twitch Chat message is only visible to reynadTS TempoStorm Premium Subscribers reynadTS . Join today to read premium messages and become legendary!]
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

sellout

plebs vs subs

forsenPirate

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠑⠢⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣤⣾⢿⣿⣧⢠⣤⡀⠄⠄⠉⠒⠠⢄⣀⣀⣀⣻⣿⣿ ⠑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣳⣿⣷⣿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠈⠒⠤⠄⢀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠟⠁⠷⠾⠝⠶⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣵⡶⠶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠄⠾⠿⣶⡄⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⢀⣀⠄⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣯⣴⢦⣼⢳⡄⣿⣿⢫⣿⣀⠘⡛⢿⡛⢷⣤⣜⡻⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣜⣫⣿⢶⣟⡽⣿⠡⣶⣗⡲⠖⣯⠼⣿⡿⢗⣨⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠿⣏⣾⡿⠗⠿⠷⠉⢻⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⣤⠟⢻⢥⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣚⠕⠄⠤⣬⣿⣤⣤⠄⠄⠌⠳⣽⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⢄⣉⢀⣠⣴⣶⣾⣶⣿⡗⢹⣿⣏⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⣮⣍⠙⢿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣠⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢸⣟⠸⠿⠋⣴⣶⣄ ⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⡟⠃⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠃⠐⠉⠁⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⡤⠚⣠⣾⣿⠟⠄⣤⢠⣤⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⣴⣿⠿⠉⠄⠄⡟⠘⣿⠄⠻⠾⠷⠶⣶⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

i forgor 💀

nah, you forgor 💀 how to be funny. you forgor 💀 how to be original. you forgor 💀 how to be a decent human being in society. "i rember 😁" yeah, you rember 😁 the reason your parents divorced. you rember 😁 the reason why youre alone. you rember 😁 why nobody likes you. shut up lmao
August 2021

I forgor

Leeroy Jenkins created a strategy

twitchquotes: Leeroy Jenkins created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your opponent in one turn without requiring any cards on the board. Fighting for board control and battles between minions make an overall game of Hearthstone more fun and compelling, but taking 20+ damage in one turn is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
May 2017

Classic

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing