[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I'm Tanner Jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend and does things to your wife in bed everyday. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Hey you, it's Tanner from highschool

twitchquotes: Hey you, it's Tanner from highschool, remember me, dork? I thought I'd pop in after finishing my first 60 reps at the gym - y'know, that place REAL men go to? Anyways, guess you're still playing video games - AS USUAL. Have a nice life, "gamer"
twitch chat
July 2019

Tanner from High School

Fortnite default dance 5

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November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Not your typical 12 year old ;)

twitchquotes: I'm twelve but everyone says I am very mature for my age and say I'm basically 16. Also, I love real bands like AC/DC and punk rock like green day so I'm not your typical 12 year old. ;)
twitch chat
December 2017

Hi Tyler, Cakeyler here

twitchquotes: hello tyler this is your abomination of a child, cakeyler. ever since you brought me into this world i have known nothing but pain due to my horrible mutations caused by the way you birthed me. every moment of my life is constant agony and this has made me pure toxic cakeyler. anyone who eats me will die except for you of course my father. feed me to your enemies or to anyone who is not as toxic as yourself. i love you and the damage we can do together. cakeyler signing out.
twitch chat
June 2016
Tyler1
Text-to-Speech Playing