[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

in germany we have a beautiful saying if you like a girl

twitchquotes: in germany we have a beautiful saying if you like a girl "deine mutter lutscht schwΓ€nze in der hΓΆlle" it means your smile brightens my day :) Please no copy pasta
twitch chat
July 2017

IS THAT AN AMONG US REFERENCE??????

Did someone say sus 😱😱😱 HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING AMONG US REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG US IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’― RED IS SO SUSSSSS πŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ COME TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ME SCAN πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯ πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯ WHY IS NO ONE FIXING O2 🀬😑🀬😑🀬😑🀬🀬😑🀬🀬😑 OH YOUR CREWMATE? NAME EVERY TASK πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜  Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓
September 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Katy t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m

twitchquotes: hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind(im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
twitch chat
April 2015

Classic

Pac-Man projectiles

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan FBBlock πŸ’ πŸ“ 🍊 🍎 🍈 ✈️ πŸ”” πŸ”‘
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

I despise any streamer that isn't MOONMOON

twitchquotes: I despise with a burning acidic passion any streamer that isn't MOONMOON. Every night I print out an 8.5 x 11" picture of a streamer that is not MOONMOON and wipe my ass with it.Honestly, anyone who watches any streamer except forMOONMOON deserves to be tarred, and feathered, then burned at the stake. That's how fucking much I HATE stramers. (Besides MOONMOON, of course).
twitch chat
March 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

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