[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Dicks are so cute omg

twitchquotes: Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω\) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!(^ワ^)
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

Joker

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢦⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡕⠂⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡅⣻⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠿⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠈⠀⠉⠻⡆⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣯⠄⠂⠀⠀⣿⡋⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠘⠓⣠⣶⣿⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣫⡆⠀⠀⢀⣿⣷⣶⣄⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿ ⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⡤⠙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡿⣿⣿⢿⠿⣿⣧⣿⣿⡿⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿ ⣷⣌⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣆⠈⡉⢹⣿⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣆⠈⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠹⢿⡇ ⣿⡫⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⢢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠴⠋ ⣿⣁⠄⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠬⠆⢀ ⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠠⠙
September 2019

QT's stream ends, so does my life

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan ̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\ qt's stream ends, so does my life FeelsBadMan ̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\
twitch chat
March 2016
imaqtpie

Classic

Doesn't mean I'm a virgin

twitchquotes: 😡 Just because I watch Kripp 😡 doesn't mean I'm a virgin 😡 It's just a coincidence 😡
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

I am a cute Korean Challenger Supermodel

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ᴄᴜᴛᴇ ᴋᴏʀᴇᴀɴ ᴄʜᴀʟʟᴇɴɢᴇʀ sᴜᴩᴇʀᴍᴏᴅᴇʟ (>‿◠)✌ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ yᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ᴄᴀʀʀy ᴀʟʟ ᴀᴅᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ғᴜᴄᴋ ᴀʟʟ ɴɪɢʜᴛ. ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
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