[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Iron Man

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
September 2021

Hi I'm 13 and I just started watching Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: Hi I'm 13 and I just started watching Rick and Morty and I can tell you for a fact it's my favorite show!!. Lik the one time Ricky said said there's probably like no good !!!! i was agreeing so much I'am smarter then you're average fidget spinner teen at middle school to even though I have one. I may be young but I'm smarter then every theist on earth basically the show is also really deep when they said like no one was born for a reason I was so blown away as they must have big balls to say that on tv so I told my friends on minecraft and they agree too. LOL once when my mom took me to McDonald's I asked for the Mulan dipping sauce and the dumb bitch didn't even get the reference XD One time in class i evan shouted "I'm PICKLE RIIIICK!" and Mrs.Janice told me to go outside i fucking hate that cunt school is for dumb ppl just like what Rick said, i m too smart for such imbicells. But yeah I love Rick and Morty and I'm actually smart enough to get it to.
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Think again next time you call our chatroom yours

twitchquotes: You banned someone for posting something in "your chatroom"? I'll have you know that we, CHAT, rule this chatroom. We MAKE you, we OWN you, we pay your bills, we pay for your food, we pay for the small trojan box of condoms you bought last night, this isn't your chatroom bud. This is our chatroom . Think again next time you call our chatroom yours, it's ours.
twitch chat
June 2017

If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. โœŒ
twitch chat
June 2019

For the blind, it is light

twitchquotes: Who is [streamer name]? ๐Ÿค” For the blind, ๐Ÿฆ‡ it is light. ๐Ÿ’ก For the hungry ๐Ÿ˜ฃ , it is bread. ๐Ÿž For the sick, ๐Ÿ’‰ it is the cure. โš•๏ธ For the sad ๐Ÿ˜ข , it is joy. ๐Ÿ˜‚ For the poor ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ’ฐ , it is the treasure; ๐Ÿ’ฐ โ›๏ธ for the debtor โž– ๐Ÿ’ฐ , it is forgiveness. ๐Ÿ™ For the face ๐Ÿ˜ถ , it is the lips ๐Ÿ‘„
twitch chat
October 2021
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