[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

DrDisrespect cheats

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣟⣿⣯⣽⣿⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⠍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣻⣶⣶⣿⣴⣏⡟⡶⠿⠿⠛⠻⠆⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣟⡻⠿⡨⢻⣯⣷⣟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠺⢻⢽⣛⣳⣴⣿⢾⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣔⣂⣠⠤⠉⣀⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣻⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣥⣤⣂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠶⢖⠄⢀⣴⣿⡇⠛⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣠⣀⡀⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣸⢿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣛⣩⣭⣼⡿⠃⠄⠄⠉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⡆⡄⠄⠈⢷⣄⡀⠄ ⠟⠛⠛⣿⣟⡉⠁⠄⠄⡀⣄⣀⣀⣀⠄⠉⢿⣿⡿⠿⢋⣾⣷⡷⡄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣷ ⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢠⠡⢢⣭⣽⣿⣿⣆⠌⠄⠈⢠⣸⡿⢹⡇⢡⠄⣤⠄⣶⡄ ⣿⢷⣿⣿⣷⡤⡀⠄⣬⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠙⠁⠄⠄⠠⠾⣿⠁⠟⠑⠄⠘⣿⠄⢻⡟
May 2019

Who is TUCK and why does everyone want to FRUMP him?

twitchquotes: Hello Twitch chat, i am new to Twitch and wanted to know who this "T U C K" guy is and why everyone wants to "F R U M P" him? I thank you for your answers and pls no copy pasta this spam Greyface Kappa Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

This is the shittiest reply ever

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Fortnite requires movement, editing, building, rotating, and hitting shots. There are not “positions” in Fortnite. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Fortnite

Boss of this gym

twitchquotes: Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door, the leather club's two blocks down. Fuck↗You↘ Oh, Fuck♂You leather man. Maybe you and I should settle it right here on the ring if you think your so tough. Oh yea? I'll kick your ass! Ha! Yeah right man. Let's go! Why don't you get out of that leather stuff? I'll strip down out of this and we'll settle it right here in the ring. What do you say? Yeah, no problem buddy! You got it. Get out of that uh, jabroni outfit. Yeah, smart ass. I'll show you who's the boss of this gym.
twitch chat
July 2020

KappaPride

Mods, I am truly humbled by the timeou

twitchquotes: Mods, I am truly humbled by the timeout. Due to the stupidity of my actions, I've recognised that I've learned my lesson and will no longer make the same mistake by copying and paste again. Here's to a better chat.
twitch chat
July 2022

MODS

Text-to-Speech Playing