[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle

twitchquotes: There is one sign the Kripparrian can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Morosan, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for Twitch and Youtube, if you seek liberalization, come here to this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, tear down this wall!
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Sadge

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⣉⣉⠙⠿⠋⣠⢴⣊⣙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⢀⠔⡩⠔⠒⠛⠧⣾⠊⢁⣀⣀⣀⡙⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡡⠊⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣌⣾⣿⠏⠀⡈⢿⡜ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⣤⣶⠏⢁⠈⢻⡏⠙⠛⠀⣀⣁⣤⢢ ⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣄⡀⠣⣌⡙⠀⣘⡁⠜⠈⠑⢮⡭⠴⠚⠉⠀ ⠁⠀⢀⠔⠁⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢀⣠⢠ ⡀⠀⢸⠀⢼⣿⣿⣶⣭⣭⣭⣟⣛⣛⡿⠷⠶⠶⢶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣾⡿⠿⣫⣾ ⠇⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡾⢗⣿⣿ ⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣝⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

hackermans

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⣵⣾⣿⣿⡶⠦⠭⢁⠩⢭⣭⣵⣶⣶⡬⣄⣀⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⡀⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠩⠶⠚⠻⠟⠳⢶⣮⢫⣥⠶⠒⠒⠒⠒⠆⠐⠒ ⠄⢠⣾⢇⣿⣿⣶⣦⢠⠰⡕⢤⠆⠄⠰⢠⢠⠄⠰⢠⠠⠄⡀⠄⢊⢯⠄⡅⠂⠄ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠘⢼⠬⠆⠄⢘⠨⢐⠄⢘⠈⣼⡄⠄⠄⡢⡲⠄⠂⠠⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣥⣀⡁⠄⠘⠘⠘⢀⣠⣾⣿⢿⣦⣁⠙⠃⠄⠃⠐⣀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣶⣾⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⣥⣬⣭⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣏⣙⠿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣍⣙⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣛⣩⣶⠄ ⣛⣛⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣙⠿⢿⣶⣶⣭⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠻⣛⣛⣛⣛⣋⠁⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⢙⡻⠿⠿⣷⣤⣝⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⣛⣛⠛⣡⣴⣿ ⣛⣛⠛⠛⠛⣛⡑⡿⢻⢻⠲⢆⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⡴⢻⢋⠻⣟⠈⠿⠿ ⣿⡿⡿⣿⢷⢤⠄⡔⡘⣃⢃⢰⡦⡤⡤⢤⢤⢤⠒⠞⠳⢸⠃⡆⢸⠄⠟⠸⠛⢿ ⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸
November 2021

Pepe

Kripp. It's Morpheus from future talking to you

twitchquotes: Hello ĸrιpp, ιт’ѕ мorpнeυѕ ғroм ғυтυre тalĸιng тo yoυ. ι нave 2 cнoιceѕ ғor yoυ, вlυe pιll or red pιll. вlυe pιll вrιngѕ yoυ lιғe, woмen, cнιleттe, dog, caт, cнιld, caѕυalιтy and no vιewerѕ. red pιll вrιngѕ yoυ nolιғe, oj, no dιѕтracтιonѕ ғroм oυтѕιde world, pro ѕтaтυѕ and vιewerѕ. cнooѕe wιѕely мιѕтer ĸrιpperѕon.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Don't let your dreams be memes

twitchquotes: YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMMOROW, Don't let your dreams be memes, Don't meme your dreams be beams, Jet fuel won't melt tomorrow's memes, DON'T LET YOUR STEEL MEMES BE JET DREAMS
twitch chat
July 2015
imaqtpie
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