[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is a routine PokiW check

twitchquotes: Hello sir. Do you know why I've stopped you? You haven't done anything wrong. This is just a routine PokiW check, sir. May I see your Twitch sub badges and username, please? Thank you. Now let's see that PokiW, hmm? Go ahead, type it in chat. No funny business. Dot the I and capitalize the W. I better not see an emote, son. Or you're off to jail.
twitch chat
September 2021
Pokimane

Megaman's head

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November 2014

Kirby

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December 2019

No mods

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹ ⠄⠄⠄⣶⣶⣶⣶⣝⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼ ⠄⠄⣸⣧⣄⣰⠆⢙⠳⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣽⣂⣈⣁⣌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣾⣿ ⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢩⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠰⢿⣿⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢠⡄⣤⡀⠈⠛⣿⣟⢿⣿⡇⠄⢠⣼⣷⣦⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣷⣿⣷⣾⣶⣿⡌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⠟⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣉⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠿⠿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣤⣄⠈⠉⠁⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣾⠄⡇⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⣀⣉⣡⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣶⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠉⢹⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣾⠄⢰⡆⠄⡇⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⠰⡷⠄⢸⡤⢈⠄⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣶⣾⣷⣶⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣶⣶⣶⣾
January 2019

MODS

if my girl and fidget spinner both dying

twitchquotes: if my girl👧😍and fidget spinner߷ both dying😱and I can only save one 😤😬catch me at her funeral 😔👻🌹spinning ߷ through ߷ the ߷ pain ߷ 💯 😎
twitch chat
June 2017

Emoji Pasta

Fidget Spinner

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