[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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RATIO? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

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β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘(◐)β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’(◐)β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘ β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘
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Hi Toast this is Mrs. Laurent - Fiora's mom

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I WANT TO TOUCH THE KRIPPARRIAN

twitchquotes: αΆ€ ʷᡃᢰᡗ α΅—α΅’ α΅—α΅’α΅˜αΆœΚ° ᡗʰᡉ ᡏʳᢀᡖᡖᡃʳʳᢀᡃᢰ
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Ben Brode increased Kripp's odds for going second

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Ben Brode here. After checking your account, we noticed that your odds for going second were accidentally set to "60" % instead of "50"%. We apologize for the inconvenience, as this change was mean to be applied to a "reynad" account. The issue is on our radar, and we will patch it when we can. Thank you and have a good day!
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Text-to-Speech Playing