[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Jared we need to talk, are you boosted?

twitchquotes: "Jared we need to talk" said QT sitting down at the table. "We think you have a problem" said Dom. " are you boosted?" they asked in unison. Jared began to break down and cry as he looked at his D3 account. "I dont think I'll ever get to play with you guys again unless I do" said Jared. "Quit being a *** pussy" said Dom and QT as Jared eyed the glock on the table next to them.
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April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Toucan

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€
ascii art
November 2014

I'm sure Kripp just thinks this is just a wall of text

twitchquotes: I'm sure Kripp just thinks this is just a wall of text. He will just skip over this as just another "copy pasta" I bet. This message is very important and I am triggered that Kripp will just skip over it. Copy paste this message to make Kripp read this meaningful message
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Good Morning Euro-soys

twitchquotes: Good Morning Euro-soys. Just a reminder that America alpha's you in every aspect of life. Back to Back world war champs. 2 time nuclear bomb droppers. Undefeated in every war we ever participated in. Your food is trash and you don't even have sweet baby Ray's BBQ. Weebs are more socially acceptable than a European. Night.
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July 2019

EU vs NA

THANK MR SKELTAL

twitchquotes: THANK MR SKELTAL๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽบ gooD boNes n calcium๐Ÿ’€ thank ๐ŸŽบ mr skeltal g๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ood bones๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€and calc๐Ÿ’€ ium๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ good bones๐ŸŽบand calcium ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบif i dootฦฝaาฏ thank skeltal man ๐ŸŽถ doot doot doot doot๐ŸŽถ good bones n calcium good bones (chorus: dootdoot) mMMMMแŽทะœ๐ŸŽถ ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€DO0ะžเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะžเฌ เฌ Ooooแต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’T๐Ÿ’€ ๐Ÿ’€ ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ ๐ŸŽถ ๐Ÿ’€ ๐ŸŽบ ๐ŸŽบ ๐ŸŽบ ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€thank mr skeltal
twitch chat
March 2016
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