[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
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PJSalt

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ โฃดโฃถโฃถโฃฆโฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โฃคโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ Ÿโ ‹โฃกโฃฝโกณโก„โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ โฃดโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ›โขฟโฃทโฃดโฃฟโฃทโกนโฃฟโฃฟโฃžโฃ†โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โ ดโฃพโฃฟโกฟโข‹โฃ‰โฃฟโฃฟโ ปโฃฟโฃทโกˆโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโก˜โฃฟโฃฟโกžโก„ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโกŸโ ณโฃฎโขปโฃงโก˜โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโกธโ โขฟโฃฟโกŒโ Ÿโฃ‰โฃฌโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ ‡ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโ €โ €โ ˆโ ทโกนโฃฟโฃถโก„โ นโฃงโ ฐโฃฆโฃนโฃฟโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขฟโก‡โก€ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโ €โ €โ €โ €โ ฑโกนโฃฟโ ‹โฃฐโฃฟโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ šโขกโ ƒ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โก€โฃฝโฃฆโ €โ €โขฑโขนโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ Ÿโ ‹โขนโฃปโกฝโ ฟโ ›โข‰โ  โ ”โ Šโ โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ฑโกˆโ ‡โ กโ €โ €โก†โฃฟโฃŸโฃ โ ดโ šโ ‰โฃ€โ คโ ’โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โ คโก€โ €โ ‘โฃŒโ ‚โ €โข€โฃ‡โ ‡โ ‰โฃ€โ คโ ’โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ  โ Šโ โ €โ ˆโ ฐโข„โ ˆโ ™โ ฟโ ปโ žโ Šโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โข โฃŠโกโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ —โก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ ‰โ ’โ โ ’โ ’โ ’โ šโ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
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September 2020

salty

Who let the dongs out?!

twitchquotes: ใƒฝเผผโ—•ู„อœโ—•เผฝ๏พ‰ Who let the dongs out?! Woof โ•ฐ( อกยฐแดฅ อกยฐ ส‹)โ•ฏ Woof woof woof woof โ•ฐ( อกยฐแดฅ อกยฐ ส‹)โ•ฏ
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Wojak

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„ โ”€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œ โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œ โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–Œ โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ”€โ”€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€ โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„
ascii art
September 2018

Gregory, do you see the small vent on the floor?

Gregory, do you see the small vent on the floor? Have you ever heard of Among Us, Gregory? You need to vent. I know it will be hard for you to be sus, but i know you can do it Gregory.
January 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Five Nights at Freddy's

Hearthstone Devs change a lightbulb

twitchquotes: How many Hearthstone Devs does it take to change a lightbulb???? It doesn't matter, because they don't know how to balance the ladder.
twitch chat
March 2017

Hearthstone

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