[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
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Molly

twitchquotes: ༼ つ◕_◕༽つ MOLLY ༼ つ◕_◕༽つ
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June 2014
EtrnlWait

Falls Guys with boobs

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⠿⣩⣵⣶⣶⣏⡠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⡟⣴⡿⢿⣿⣿⢿⣷⡔⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣇⣈⣿⣿⣤⣽⣧⢰⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣼⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⣾⡙⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣻⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣮⣉⠋⠉⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄ ⣰⣿⣍⡩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣈⠙⢻⣿⣇⢹⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠶⠈⢛⣿⣿⣧ ⢿⣿⣿⢱⡿⠋⠉⣿⣿⠁⠙⠉⠄⣸⣿⣿⢸⣧⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠱⠾⠏ ⠈⠙⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡈⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣷⣭⠙⠿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣦⣝⣛⣫⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢻⣿⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠄⠰⠿⠿⠿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
January 2021

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Please stop hoarding Hearthstone dust

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º ༽ Well Met Kripp, this is Doctorino Dongerino. I urge you: pls stop hoarding Hearthstone dust. Breathing in all that dust will cause your lungs to RIP in pepperonis. Pls copypasta to save Kripp life ༼ ºل͟º ༽
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Kripp

Tired of Weebs? No problem!

twitchquotes: Tired of Weebs? No problem! Here at Weeb Deflectors™ we can shield your Twitch chat Queue from incoming Weebs with our new patent-pending WeebShield™ Technology! Our shield will bounce incoming Weebs right back to the dark place they came from (definitely not HEARTHSTONE), causing them to effectively Spread their disease called anime to themselves! Buy 24/7 protection now for only $24.99/month!
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