[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Nyan Cat

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November 2014

The pasta will be that pasta that you’ve spammed

twitchquotes: I looked at this pasta originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a pasta, and you spam this pasta. The pasta will be that pasta that you’ve spammed, so you’re spamming a pasta. So it is one thing to spam a pasta if your chat doesn’t really have any pasta. The pasta will screw up the pasta pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good pasta.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

forsenCD PICK A CARD

twitchquotes: forsenCD PICK A CARD ✨ forsenCD ANY CARD ✨ forsenCD THE 2 OF WIVES? ✨ forsenCD EXCELLENT CHOICE ✨
twitch chat
November 2019
OfflineTV

Maplestory Lucid

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⣪⣭⣿⣷⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⢤⢔⡾⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢰⢳⣿⣿⣿⠋⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⣼⣷⣻⣧⣴⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⠤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣷⣿⣏⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣿⣯⣾⠋⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⠀⠀⠙⣽⣝⠋⢡⣯⣀⠘⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡷⡁⠀⡄⠀⢠⠻⠀⠀⠀⢸⠙⠀⠀⠀⠙⡇⢹⣧⠛⠂⠀⢤⣉⠢⡀⠀⠀ ⡠⢊⠚⢇⣰⢣⠀⡞⠒⠣⠀⠀⠘⡄⠘⠓⠲⢆⣳⠀⠀⣠⣄⣀⣀⠙⢯⣾⡄⠀ ⣇⣇⡌⠈⡜⡌⢳⣧⣤⣄⡑⠄⣀⣳⢀⣠⣤⣴⣾⡆⠀⣿⠖⣠⣮⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀ ⠈⠛⢇⠀⠿⠷⡘⣿⢙⠿⡏⠀⠈⠉⢻⣻⣿⡏⢹⡟⣢⣿⣟⡻⠋⢀⡴⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠢⢤⣀⣋⡿⢮⡉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⣙⠷⠛⠺⣿⣙⣛⠭⠝⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡩⠒⠶⠲⠞⠓⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣵⣕⣉⣫⣿⣦⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡾⡿⡟⣻⣿⡏⠱⣮⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⢿⡛⣿⣾⣜⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣽⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2020

Weebs

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