[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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5 men 9 eyebrows 1 dream

twitchquotes: This is Gambit เผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบ( อกยฐ อก อœ อกส– อก ยฐ)ยบู„อŸยบ เผฝยบู„อŸยบ เผฝ 5 MEN 9 EYEBROWS 1 DREAM
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For anyone whose Egyptian keyboard is broken, hereโ€™s a full alphabet to copy and paste letters from accordingly

๐“€€ ๐“€ ๐“€‚ ๐“€ƒ ๐“€„ ๐“€… ๐“€† ๐“€‡ ๐“€ˆ ๐“€‰ ๐“€Š ๐“€‹ ๐“€Œ ๐“€ ๐“€Ž ๐“€ ๐“€ ๐“€‘ ๐“€’ ๐“€“ ๐“€” ๐“€• ๐“€– ๐“€— ๐“€˜ ๐“€™ ๐“€š ๐“€› ๐“€œ ๐“€ ๐“€ž ๐“€Ÿ ๐“€  ๐“€ก ๐“€ข ๐“€ฃ ๐“€ค ๐“€ฅ ๐“€ฆ ๐“€ง ๐“€จ ๐“€ฉ ๐“€ช ๐“€ซ ๐“€ฌ ๐“€ญ ๐“€ฎ ๐“€ฏ ๐“€ฐ ๐“€ฑ ๐“€ฒ ๐“€ณ ๐“€ด ๐“€ต ๐“€ถ ๐“€ท ๐“€ธ ๐“€น ๐“€บ ๐“€ป ๐“€ผ ๐“€ฝ ๐“€พ ๐“€ฟ ๐“€ ๐“ ๐“‚ ๐“ƒ ๐“„ ๐“… ๐“† ๐“‡ ๐“ˆ ๐“‰ ๐“Š ๐“‹ ๐“Œ ๐“ ๐“Ž ๐“ ๐“ ๐“‘ ๐“’ ๐““ ๐“” ๐“• ๐“– ๐“— ๐“˜ ๐“™ ๐“š ๐“› ๐“œ ๐“ ๐“ž ๐“Ÿ ๐“  ๐“ก ๐“ข ๐“ฃ ๐“ค ๐“ฅ ๐“ฆ ๐“ง ๐“จ ๐“ฉ ๐“ช ๐“ซ ๐“ฌ ๐“ญ ๐“ฎ ๐“ฏ ๐“ฐ ๐“ฑ ๐“ฒ ๐“ณ ๐“ด ๐“ต ๐“ถ ๐“ท ๐“ธ ๐“น ๐“บ ๐“ป ๐“ผ ๐“ฝ ๐“พ ๐“ฟ ๐“‚€ ๐“‚ ๐“‚‚ ๐“‚ƒ ๐“‚„ ๐“‚… ๐“‚† ๐“‚‡ ๐“‚ˆ ๐“‚‰ ๐“‚Š ๐“‚‹ ๐“‚Œ ๐“‚ ๐“‚Ž ๐“‚ ๐“‚ ๐“‚‘ ๐“‚’ ๐“‚“ ๐“‚” ๐“‚• ๐“‚– ๐“‚— ๐“‚˜ ๐“‚™ ๐“‚š ๐“‚› ๐“‚œ ๐“‚ ๐“‚ž ๐“‚Ÿ ๐“‚  ๐“‚ก ๐“‚ข ๐“‚ฃ ๐“‚ค ๐“‚ฅ ๐“‚ฆ ๐“‚ง ๐“‚จ ๐“‚ฉ ๐“‚ช ๐“‚ซ ๐“‚ฌ ๐“‚ญ ๐“‚ฎ ๐“‚ฏ ๐“‚ฐ ๐“‚ฑ ๐“‚ฒ ๐“‚ณ ๐“‚ด ๐“‚ต ๐“‚ถ ๐“‚ท ๐“‚ธ ๐“‚น ๐“‚บ ๐“‚ป ๐“‚ผ ๐“‚ฝ ๐“‚พ ๐“‚ฟ ๐“ƒ€ ๐“ƒ ๐“ƒ‚ ๐“ƒƒ ๐“ƒ„ ๐“ƒ… ๐“ƒ† ๐“ƒ‡ ๐“ƒˆ ๐“ƒ‰ ๐“ƒŠ ๐“ƒ‹ ๐“ƒŒ ๐“ƒ ๐“ƒŽ ๐“ƒ ๐“ƒ ๐“ƒ‘ ๐“ƒ’ ๐“ƒ“ ๐“ƒ” ๐“ƒ• ๐“ƒ– ๐“ƒ— ๐“ƒ˜ ๐“ƒ™ ๐“ƒš ๐“ƒ› ๐“ƒœ ๐“ƒ ๐“ƒž ๐“ƒŸ ๐“ƒ  ๐“ƒก ๐“ƒข ๐“ƒฃ ๐“ƒค ๐“ƒฅ ๐“ƒฆ ๐“ƒง ๐“ƒจ ๐“ƒฉ ๐“ƒช ๐“ƒซ ๐“ƒฌ ๐“ƒญ ๐“ƒฎ ๐“ƒฏ ๐“ƒฐ ๐“ƒฑ ๐“ƒฒ ๐“ƒณ ๐“ƒด ๐“ƒต ๐“ƒถ ๐“ƒท ๐“ƒธ ๐“ƒน ๐“ƒบ ๐“ƒป ๐“ƒผ ๐“ƒฝ ๐“ƒพ ๐“ƒฟ ๐“„€ ๐“„ ๐“„‚ ๐“„ƒ ๐“„„ ๐“„… ๐“„† ๐“„‡ ๐“„ˆ ๐“„‰ ๐“„Š ๐“„‹ ๐“„Œ ๐“„ ๐“„Ž ๐“„ ๐“„ ๐“„‘ ๐“„’ ๐“„“ ๐“„” ๐“„• ๐“„– ๐“„— ๐“„˜ ๐“„™ ๐“„š ๐“„› ๐“„œ ๐“„ ๐“„ž ๐“„Ÿ ๐“„  ๐“„ก ๐“„ข ๐“„ฃ ๐“„ค ๐“„ฅ ๐“„ฆ ๐“„ง ๐“„จ ๐“„ฉ ๐“„ช ๐“„ซ ๐“„ฌ ๐“„ญ ๐“„ฎ ๐“„ฏ ๐“„ฐ ๐“„ฑ ๐“„ฒ ๐“„ณ ๐“„ด ๐“„ต ๐“„ถ ๐“„ท ๐“„ธ ๐“„น ๐“„บ ๐“„ป ๐“„ผ ๐“„ฝ ๐“„พ ๐“„ฟ ๐“…€ ๐“… ๐“…‚ ๐“…ƒ ๐“…„ ๐“…… ๐“…† ๐“…‡ ๐“…ˆ ๐“…‰ ๐“…Š ๐“…‹ ๐“…Œ ๐“… ๐“…Ž ๐“… ๐“… ๐“…‘ ๐“…’ ๐“…“ ๐“…” ๐“…• ๐“…– ๐“…— ๐“…˜ ๐“…™ ๐“…š ๐“…› ๐“…œ ๐“… ๐“…ž ๐“…Ÿ ๐“…  ๐“…ก ๐“…ข ๐“…ฃ ๐“…ค ๐“…ฅ ๐“…ฆ ๐“…ง ๐“…จ ๐“…ฉ ๐“…ช ๐“…ซ ๐“…ฌ ๐“…ญ ๐“…ฎ ๐“…ฏ ๐“…ฐ ๐“…ฑ ๐“…ฒ ๐“…ณ ๐“…ด ๐“…ต ๐“…ถ ๐“…ท ๐“…ธ ๐“…น ๐“…บ ๐“…ป ๐“…ผ ๐“…ฝ ๐“…พ ๐“…ฟ ๐“†€ ๐“† ๐“†‚ ๐“†ƒ ๐“†„ ๐“†… ๐“†† ๐“†‡ ๐“†ˆ ๐“†‰ ๐“†Š ๐“†‹ ๐“†Œ ๐“† ๐“†Ž ๐“† ๐“† ๐“†‘ ๐“†’ ๐“†“ ๐“†” ๐“†• ๐“†– ๐“†— ๐“†˜ ๐“†™ ๐“†š ๐“†› ๐“†œ ๐“† ๐“†ž ๐“†Ÿ ๐“†  ๐“†ก ๐“†ข ๐“†ฃ ๐“†ค ๐“†ฅ ๐“†ฆ ๐“†ง ๐“†จ ๐“†ฉ ๐“†ช ๐“†ซ ๐“†ฌ ๐“†ญ ๐“†ฎ ๐“†ฏ ๐“†ฐ ๐“†ฑ ๐“†ฒ ๐“†ณ ๐“†ด ๐“†ต ๐“†ถ ๐“†ท ๐“†ธ ๐“†น ๐“†บ ๐“†ป ๐“†ผ ๐“†ฝ ๐“†พ ๐“†ฟ ๐“‡€ ๐“‡ ๐“‡‚ ๐“‡ƒ ๐“‡„ ๐“‡… ๐“‡† ๐“‡‡ ๐“‡ˆ ๐“‡‰ ๐“‡Š ๐“‡‹ ๐“‡Œ ๐“‡ ๐“‡Ž ๐“‡ ๐“‡ ๐“‡‘ ๐“‡’ ๐“‡“ ๐“‡” ๐“‡• ๐“‡– ๐“‡— ๐“‡˜ ๐“‡™ ๐“‡š ๐“‡› ๐“‡œ ๐“‡ ๐“‡ž ๐“‡Ÿ ๐“‡  ๐“‡ก ๐“‡ข ๐“‡ฃ ๐“‡ค ๐“‡ฅ ๐“‡ฆ ๐“‡ง ๐“‡จ ๐“‡ฉ ๐“‡ช ๐“‡ซ ๐“‡ฌ ๐“‡ญ ๐“‡ฎ ๐“‡ฏ ๐“‡ฐ ๐“‡ฑ ๐“‡ฒ ๐“‡ณ ๐“‡ด ๐“‡ต ๐“‡ถ ๐“‡ท ๐“‡ธ ๐“‡น ๐“‡บ ๐“‡ป ๐“‡ผ ๐“‡ฝ ๐“‡พ ๐“‡ฟ ๐“ˆ€ ๐“ˆ ๐“ˆ‚ ๐“ˆƒ ๐“ˆ„ ๐“ˆ… ๐“ˆ† ๐“ˆ‡ ๐“ˆˆ ๐“ˆ‰ ๐“ˆŠ ๐“ˆ‹ ๐“ˆŒ ๐“ˆ ๐“ˆŽ ๐“ˆ ๐“ˆ ๐“ˆ‘ ๐“ˆ’ ๐“ˆ“ ๐“ˆ” ๐“ˆ• ๐“ˆ– ๐“ˆ— ๐“ˆ˜ ๐“ˆ™ ๐“ˆš ๐“ˆ› ๐“ˆœ ๐“ˆ ๐“ˆž ๐“ˆŸ ๐“ˆ  ๐“ˆก ๐“ˆข ๐“ˆฃ ๐“ˆค ๐“ˆฅ ๐“ˆฆ ๐“ˆง ๐“ˆจ ๐“ˆฉ ๐“ˆช ๐“ˆซ ๐“ˆฌ ๐“ˆญ ๐“ˆฎ ๐“ˆฏ ๐“ˆฐ ๐“ˆฑ ๐“ˆฒ ๐“ˆณ ๐“ˆด ๐“ˆต ๐“ˆถ ๐“ˆท ๐“ˆธ ๐“ˆน ๐“ˆบ ๐“ˆป ๐“ˆผ ๐“ˆฝ ๐“ˆพ ๐“ˆฟ ๐“‰€ ๐“‰ ๐“‰‚ ๐“‰ƒ ๐“‰„ ๐“‰… ๐“‰† ๐“‰‡ ๐“‰ˆ ๐“‰‰ ๐“‰Š ๐“‰‹ ๐“‰Œ ๐“‰ ๐“‰Ž ๐“‰ ๐“‰ ๐“‰‘ ๐“‰’ ๐“‰“ ๐“‰” ๐“‰• ๐“‰– ๐“‰— ๐“‰˜ ๐“‰™ ๐“‰š ๐“‰› ๐“‰œ ๐“‰ ๐“‰ž ๐“‰Ÿ ๐“‰  ๐“‰ก ๐“‰ข ๐“‰ฃ ๐“‰ค ๐“‰ฅ ๐“‰ฆ ๐“‰ง ๐“‰จ ๐“‰ฉ ๐“‰ช ๐“‰ซ ๐“‰ฌ ๐“‰ญ ๐“‰ฎ ๐“‰ฏ ๐“‰ฐ ๐“‰ฑ ๐“‰ฒ ๐“‰ณ ๐“‰ด ๐“‰ต ๐“‰ถ ๐“‰ท ๐“‰ธ ๐“‰น ๐“‰บ ๐“‰ป ๐“‰ผ ๐“‰ฝ ๐“‰พ ๐“‰ฟ ๐“Š€ ๐“Ё ๐“Š‚ ๐“Šƒ ๐“Š„ ๐“Š… ๐“І ๐“Ї ๐“Šˆ ๐“Љ ๐“ŠŠ ๐“Š‹ ๐“ŠŒ ๐“Š ๐“ŠŽ ๐“Š ๐“А ๐“Š‘ ๐“Š’ ๐“Š“ ๐“Š” ๐“Š• ๐“Š– ๐“Š— ๐“Š˜ ๐“Š™ ๐“Šš ๐“Š› ๐“Šœ ๐“Š ๐“Šž ๐“ŠŸ ๐“Š  ๐“Šก ๐“Šข ๐“Šฃ ๐“Šค ๐“Šฅ ๐“Šฆ ๐“Šง ๐“Šจ ๐“Šฉ ๐“Šช ๐“Šซ ๐“Šฌ ๐“Šญ ๐“Šฎ ๐“Šฏ ๐“Šฐ ๐“Šฑ ๐“Šฒ ๐“Šณ ๐“Šด ๐“Šต ๐“Šถ ๐“Šท ๐“Šธ ๐“Šน ๐“Šบ ๐“Šป ๐“Šผ ๐“Šฝ ๐“Šพ ๐“Šฟ ๐“‹€ ๐“‹ ๐“‹‚ ๐“‹ƒ ๐“‹„ ๐“‹… ๐“‹† ๐“‹‡ ๐“‹ˆ ๐“‹‰ ๐“‹Š ๐“‹‹ ๐“‹Œ ๐“‹ ๐“‹Ž ๐“‹ ๐“‹ ๐“‹‘ ๐“‹’ ๐“‹“ ๐“‹” ๐“‹• ๐“‹– ๐“‹— ๐“‹˜ ๐“‹™ ๐“‹š ๐“‹› ๐“‹œ ๐“‹ ๐“‹ž ๐“‹Ÿ ๐“‹  ๐“‹ก ๐“‹ข ๐“‹ฃ ๐“‹ค ๐“‹ฅ ๐“‹ฆ ๐“‹ง ๐“‹จ ๐“‹ฉ ๐“‹ช ๐“‹ซ ๐“‹ฌ ๐“‹ญ ๐“‹ฎ ๐“‹ฏ ๐“‹ฐ ๐“‹ฑ ๐“‹ฒ ๐“‹ณ ๐“‹ด ๐“‹ต ๐“‹ถ ๐“‹ท ๐“‹ธ ๐“‹น ๐“‹บ ๐“‹ป ๐“‹ผ ๐“‹ฝ ๐“‹พ ๐“‹ฟ ๐“Œ€ ๐“Œ ๐“Œ‚ ๐“Œƒ ๐“Œ„ ๐“Œ… ๐“Œ† ๐“Œ‡ ๐“Œˆ ๐“Œ‰ ๐“ŒŠ ๐“Œ‹ ๐“ŒŒ ๐“Œ ๐“ŒŽ ๐“Œ ๐“Œ ๐“Œ‘ ๐“Œ’ ๐“Œ“ ๐“Œ” ๐“Œ• ๐“Œ– ๐“Œ— ๐“Œ˜ ๐“Œ™ ๐“Œš ๐“Œ› ๐“Œœ ๐“Œ ๐“Œž ๐“ŒŸ ๐“Œ  ๐“Œก ๐“Œข ๐“Œฃ ๐“Œค ๐“Œฅ ๐“Œฆ ๐“Œง ๐“Œจ ๐“Œฉ ๐“Œช ๐“Œซ ๐“Œฌ ๐“Œญ ๐“Œฎ ๐“Œฏ ๐“Œฐ ๐“Œฑ ๐“Œฒ ๐“Œณ ๐“Œด ๐“Œต ๐“Œถ ๐“Œท ๐“Œธ ๐“Œน ๐“Œบ ๐“Œป ๐“Œผ ๐“Œฝ ๐“Œพ ๐“Œฟ ๐“€ ๐“ ๐“‚ ๐“ƒ ๐“„ ๐“… ๐“† ๐“‡ ๐“ˆ ๐“‰ ๐“Š ๐“‹ ๐“Œ ๐“ ๐“Ž ๐“ ๐“ ๐“‘ ๐“’ ๐““ ๐“” ๐“• ๐“– ๐“— ๐“˜ ๐“™ ๐“š ๐“› ๐“œ ๐“ ๐“ž ๐“Ÿ ๐“  ๐“ก ๐“ข ๐“ฃ ๐“ค ๐“ฅ ๐“ฆ ๐“ง ๐“จ ๐“ฉ ๐“ช ๐“ซ ๐“ฌ ๐“ญ ๐“ฎ ๐“ฏ ๐“ฐ ๐“ฑ ๐“ฒ ๐“ณ ๐“ด ๐“ต ๐“ถ ๐“ท ๐“ธ ๐“น ๐“บ ๐“ป ๐“ผ ๐“ฝ ๐“พ ๐“ฟ ๐“Ž€ ๐“ށ ๐“Ž‚ ๐“Žƒ ๐“Ž„ ๐“Ž… ๐“ކ ๐“އ ๐“Žˆ ๐“މ ๐“ŽŠ ๐“Ž‹ ๐“ŽŒ ๐“Ž ๐“ŽŽ ๐“Ž ๐“ސ ๐“Ž‘ ๐“Ž’ ๐“Ž“ ๐“Ž” ๐“Ž• ๐“Ž– ๐“Ž— ๐“Ž˜ ๐“Ž™ ๐“Žš ๐“Ž› ๐“Žœ ๐“Ž ๐“Žž ๐“ŽŸ ๐“Ž  ๐“Žก ๐“Žข ๐“Žฃ ๐“Žค ๐“Žฅ ๐“Žฆ ๐“Žง ๐“Žจ ๐“Žฉ ๐“Žช ๐“Žซ ๐“Žฌ ๐“Žญ ๐“Žฎ ๐“Žฏ ๐“Žฐ ๐“Žฑ ๐“Žฒ ๐“Žณ ๐“Žด ๐“Žต ๐“Žถ ๐“Žท ๐“Žธ ๐“Žน ๐“Žบ ๐“Žป ๐“Žผ ๐“Žฝ ๐“Žพ ๐“Žฟ ๐“€ ๐“ ๐“‚ ๐“ƒ ๐“„ ๐“… ๐“† ๐“‡ ๐“ˆ ๐“‰ ๐“Š ๐“‹ ๐“Œ ๐“ ๐“Ž ๐“ ๐“ ๐“‘ ๐“’ ๐““ ๐“” ๐“• ๐“– ๐“— ๐“˜ ๐“™ ๐“š ๐“› ๐“œ ๐“ ๐“ž ๐“Ÿ ๐“  ๐“ก ๐“ข ๐“ฃ ๐“ค ๐“ฅ ๐“ฆ ๐“ง ๐“จ ๐“ฉ ๐“ช ๐“ซ ๐“ฌ ๐“ญ ๐“ฎ ๐“ฏ ๐“ฐ ๐“ฑ ๐“ฒ ๐“ณ ๐“ด ๐“ต ๐“ถ ๐“ท ๐“ธ ๐“น ๐“บ ๐“ป ๐“ผ ๐“ฝ ๐“พ ๐“ฟ ๐“€ ๐“ ๐“‚ ๐“ƒ ๐“„ ๐“… ๐“† ๐“‡ ๐“ˆ ๐“‰ ๐“Š ๐“‹ ๐“Œ ๐“ ๐“Ž ๐“ ๐“ ๐“‘ ๐“’ ๐““ ๐“” ๐“• ๐“– ๐“— ๐“˜ ๐“™ ๐“š ๐“› ๐“œ ๐“ ๐“ž ๐“Ÿ
March 2021

Help Doge Take Over Steam

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ Help โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ Doge โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ Take โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–โ–ˆโ–Œ Over โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆ Steam โ–โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œ Copy โ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–โ–ˆ And โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆ Paste โ–Œโ–“โ–„โ–Œโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ŒDO IT. โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–
February 2021

Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ you โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

Qtpie's doctor messages Qtpie about his donger cream needs

twitchquotes: Hello Qtpie, it's your doctor, DR. Dong calling about your donger cream needs, you havn't picked up your prescription in quite a while and we are worried your donger may be dry and crusty
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing