[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
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More Copypastas

its morbin time

⣐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣅⡠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢹⣿⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⢸⣿⣿⣷⡀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣶ ⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣾ ⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⠀⠀⠉⠙⠉⠉⠁⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀ its morbin time
July 2022

Morbius

Mr I'm too dank to call or write my fans

twitchquotes: dear mr im too dank to call or write my fans. this is the last meme ill ever send your ass. its been 6 months and still no accept. i dont deserve it? i know you got my last two friend requests i wrote the memes on em perfect. i love you cutie, we culdve been together think about it
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Someone just posted that same paragraph...

twitchquotes: This is going to sound crazy, but someone posted that same paragraph just a minute ago. Here in this chat even. The odds of two people having the same paragraph-long thought is astronomical, especially in the same small website. Wow.
twitch chat
November 2018

Classic

This Kripp's stream is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This Kripp's stream is CRAZY!” ☑ “My salt can't win against salt like that” ☑ "He needed PRECISELY those two Kappas to win" ☑ “He top decked the only excuse that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect CTRL+V ☑ “There was nothing I could paste” ☑ “I copypasta'd that perfectly”
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

TES, also known as Throw E-Sports

TES, also known as Throw E-Sports is a professional league of legends team known for throwing consistently at the highest level. Well known for losing despite having massive gold leads, they have inspired various teams around the world like G2 to do the same
May 2022

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing