[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Yoshi

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November 2014

Asian Dude from Heartharena here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Asian Dude from Heartharena here. We've noticed you've been away from our website for a long time. Is it the Classic Aggro? We've adjusted our tier list to your more Classic Greed style. Please come back. Best regards, Classic Asian Dude from Heartharena
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Last night I had a dream

twitchquotes: Last night I had a dream that whenever I typed something in Forsen's channel, everyone copied and pasted it, and then Forsen got really mad at me for starting spam. After that he banned me and I felt really bad for it, so my only option to apologize to him was to suck his sweadish meatballs. Sorry Forskin!
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Kripp and Arthus

twitchquotes: οΌ­ο½™ ο½“ο½ο½Ž ο½”ο½ˆο½… day you ο½—ο½…ο½’ο½… ο½‚ο½ο½’ο½ŽοΌŒ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½–ο½…ο½’ο½™ websites of ο½‰ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½’ο½Žο½…ο½” ο½—ο½ˆο½‰ο½“ο½ο½…ο½’ο½…ο½„ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½Žο½ο½ο½…οΌš οΌ«ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½ο½ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½ŽοΌŽοΌ­ο½™ ο½ƒο½ˆο½‰ο½Œο½„οΌŒ οΌ© ο½—ο½ο½”ο½ƒο½ˆο½…ο½„ ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆ pride as you grew ο½‰ο½Žο½”ο½ a gamer of ο½ˆο½ο½’ο½„ο½ƒο½ο½’ο½…ο½Žο½…ο½“ο½“οΌŽοΌ²ο½…ο½ο½…ο½ο½‚ο½…ο½’οΌŒ our ο½†ο½ο½ο½‰ο½Œο½™ ο½ο½Œο½—ο½ο½™ο½“ ο½ο½Œο½ο½™ο½…ο½„ ο½ˆο½ο½’ο½„ο½ƒο½ο½’ο½… ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆ ο½†ο½’ο½‰ο½…ο½Žο½„ο½“ ο½ο½Žο½„ οΌ© ο½‹ο½Žο½ο½— you ο½—ο½‰ο½Œο½Œ ο½Žο½…ο½–ο½…ο½’ ο½ο½Œο½ο½™ ο½ƒο½ο½“ο½•ο½ο½Œ scrubcore ο½“ο½ˆο½‰ο½”οΌŒ but ο½”ο½ˆο½… truest ο½ˆο½ο½’ο½„ο½ƒο½ο½’ο½…ο½Žο½…ο½“ο½“ is my ο½“ο½ο½Ž is ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½…ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½’ο½”ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‰ο½Žο½‡ your ο½–ο½‰ο½…ο½—ο½…ο½’ο½“οΌŽ οΌ© ο½”ο½…ο½Œο½Œ you ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½“ for ο½—ο½ˆο½…ο½Ž my days come to an ο½…ο½Žο½„ you ο½“ο½ˆο½ο½Œο½Œ ο½Žο½ο½” be ο½ƒο½ο½“ο½•ο½ο½ŒοΌŽ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

I hardly ever watch twitch anymore

twitchquotes: I hardly ever watch twitch anymore, and it’s mostly because of cringe chat. All you do is copy and paste the same things or constantly repeat the same stupid emotes in response to everything. So predictable and annoying
twitch chat
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing