[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Idk what it is with you guys but you keep upvoting anything with the word cum sex or dick in it

Idk what it is with you guys but you keep upvoting anything with the word cum sex or dick in it. I came here for subtle wall of texts where you couldn’t tell if it was real or fake. Now these 10k upvoted cumshit copypastas are just upvoted, never pasted. You don’t actually see any of them in the wild it’s a truly sad state. See for yourself sort by top this year and it’s all sex like fr is it that funny?
September 2021

UwU in the streets

twitchquotes: i’m an UwU in the streets but an OwO in the sheets
twitch chat
February 2019

Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK

twitchquotes: β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

This is our town SCRUB

twitchquotes: (ΰΈ‡ Ν Β° ΝŸΚ– Ν‘Β°)ΰΈ‡ This is our town SCRUB (ΰΈ‡ Ν Β° ΝŸΚ– Ν‘Β°)ΰΈ‡(ΰΈ‡ β€’Μ€_‒́)ΰΈ‡ Yeah beat it! (ΰΈ‡ β€’Μ€_‒́)ΰΈ‡
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

KRUSTY KRAB IS UNFAIR

twitchquotes: SwiftRage :loudspeaker: KRUSTY KRAB IS UNFAIR! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: MR. KRABS IS IN THERE! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: STANDING AT THE CONCESSION! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: PLOTTING HIS OPPRESSION! SwiftRage :loudspeaker:
twitch chat
November 2016

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing