[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Anime girl 2

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–„ β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€ β–β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–ˆβ–€β–Œβ–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–’β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘
October 2016

Weebs

I just nutted to your comment FAQ (Reddit)

I just nutted to your comment. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of cum (semen) on my phone and Reddit phone has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of cum. These include, but are not limited to: β€’ ⁠you being a femboy, β€’ ⁠Spreading sti infections, β€’ ⁠Sarcasm correctly flagged with a /s. ## Am I banned from the Reddit? No. But you should make comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to not cum. ## I don't believe my comment deserved a nut. Can you un-nut to it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a nut. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot your nut on me. I tend to respond to Being shot with nut within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of nut appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the nut and move on. your behavior will be nutted to on Reddit.com. I will continue to nut until you stop being so hot 😩 Remember: I’m horny uwu
June 2021

Reddit

Skillshare Youtube Ad

Today's video is brought to you by Skillshareℒ️, The online learning community that's helped millions to discover their passion to take the next step in their creative journeys. They have tons of classes on things like productivity, fine art, marketing, and graphic design ranging in difficulty for anyone from beginners to full-blown masters. Most of the classes offered are under 60 minutes and every class is always 100% ad free, and trust me, I know how much you guys hate ads (you guys don't hate this one right?), I recently found this class called "finding fulfillment using pivots to power your creative career with author and podcast host Emma Gannon" to be especially inspiring. They're always adding new premium classes, so there's never a dull moment, and Skillshareℒ️'s entire catalog now offers subtitles in Spanish, French, Portuguese, and Dutch, so click the link in the description and sign up for Skillshareℒ️ today and the first thousand people who use the link in the description will get an entire month for free.
April 2022

Forg

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠀⠴⠢⠢⠀⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⑴⠛③⠦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β£ β ΄β’Šβ •β Šβ ‰β ‰β ‰β ’β‘˜β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‘β£”β£šβ££β‘€β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β£ β ΄β –β ‹β β €β €β »β£Ÿβ£‹β£™β »β ₯β žβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‰β €β €β €β €β’³β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β‘΄β –β ›β ‰β €β’€β‘”β ‹β ‰β‘€β €β ”β ’β ’β ’β β šβ ›β ›β ›β ›β “β ’β ’β ²β €β €β €β €β ”β‘²β šβ €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£ β‘΄β šβ ‰β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ³β ¦β ”β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ‰β ‰β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β’ β‘žβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘Œβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒰⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β£Όβ β €β’€β£ β €β Άβ Άβ Άβ Άβ Άβ’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β’ β‘˜β’¦β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Ώβ €β ­β£²β‘¦β‘΄β’Ύβ‘Ÿβ β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β‘‡β €β£Όβ ‹β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’³β‘€β €β €β €β €β ™β’¦β£™β£„β£€β£€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘β €β €β €β£Ώβ‘Όβ ²β ½β †β €β €β €β € β €β €β °β‘‡β’°β‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£³β €β €β €β €β €β €β£―β’¬β ±β£Ÿβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ’€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β£§β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘΄β ƒβ €β €β €β €β €β €β β ˆβ “β šβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£°β ƒβ €β£³β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠸⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠻⠯⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠾⠿⠭⠭⠴⠦⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ›β “β ²β Άβ’¦β£„β €β’ β£€β šβ’Άβ Ίβ Ώβ Άβ ³β Άβ Άβ Άβ ¦β ¦β €β ΄β Άβ Άβ ’β ‹β β ‰β ‰β ™β ’β ’β ’β ²β –β šβ ‰β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’·β£ˆβ£Ώβ ›β Άβ ·β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‰β ‰β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €
February 2021

Chug jug with you (lyrics)

We got a... 1# Victory Royale, yeah, Fortnite we 'bout to get down (Get down!) Ten kills on the board right now Just wiped out Tomato Town My friend just got downed, I revived him now we're heading southbound Now we're in the Pleasant Park streets, look at the map, go to the marked sheet (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus) He said.. "Hey Broski!", "You got some heals and a shield pot?" "I need healing, and I am only at 1 HP." "Hey dude, sorry!", "I found nothing on this safari." "I checked the upstairs of that house, but not the underneath yet." "There's a chest that's just down there,", "The storm is coming fast and you need heals to prepare!" I've got V-Bucks that I'll spend, more than you can contend. I'm a cool pro Fortnite gamer! Cool.. pro.. Fortnite? (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus) La, la la, la laa ee ya! X2 La, lA AUGHH La laa ee ya! (Will you be my pro Fortnite gamer?) Pro Fortnite Gamer.. Can we get a win this weekend? Take me to Loot Lake! Let's change the game mode and we can Disco Dominate! Let's hop in an ATK, take me to the zone! I'm running kind of low on mats, I need to break some stone! Dressed in all his fancy clothes, He's got Renegade Raider and he's probably a pro! He just shot my back, I turn back and I attack! I just got a Victory Royale, A Victory Royale.. (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus)
March 2021

Fortnite

Text-to-Speech Playing