Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Petition to fly Kripp down to Houston
twitchquotes:
I am starting a petition to fly Kripp down to Houston to aid in the Hurricane Harvey relief effort. The unprecedented levels of 
that spew from his mouth will reduce the water levels by at least 75%. One copy pasterino = 1 prayer 
that spew from his mouth will reduce the water levels by at least 75%. One copy pasterino = 1 prayer
twitch chat
Kripp
Avatarmelon
twitchquotes:
Watermelon. Earthmelon. Firemelon. Airmelon. Long ago the four melon nations lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Firemelon Nation attacked. Only the Avatarmelon, master of all four elemelons, could stop them, but when the melon world needed him most, he vanished.
twitch chat
Reynad
Kripp is a casual vegan
twitchquotes:
Coke is not vegan. Vegans and vegetarians should note that a our drinks contain small traces of fish gelatine, which is used as a stabiliser for the beta-carotene colour. Not only is Kripp a casual gamer, he is a casual vegan as well!
twitch chat
Kripp
I released white fluid from my penis
Hello reddit, today I was rubbing my penis very fast with my hand then all of a sudden this massive release of white fluid came out of my penis, I searched up on google 'white fluid discharge from penis' and the results said I had a UTI. Could anyone figure out what came out of my penis?
NSFW
To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.