[Copypasta] Oh, these? My boobies?

Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Biden at a CNN townhall with Don Lemon

Biden: Yo- uh, y-you, y-you got the vaccination? Don Lemon: Yeah. Biden: A-Are you... Are you okay? I mean, you seem... no, it works, or you, you know, or, or, or, or the mom and dad, or or, or, or, or the neighbor, or when you... go to church, or when youโ€™re โ€” n-no, I-I-I-I really mean it, there... are trusted interlocutors. Think of the people, if-if your kid wanted to find out whether or not there were โ€” thereโ€™s a man on the moon, or, or whatever, you know, something, or, you know, whether those aliens are here or not. You know, who are the people they talk to beyond the kids who love talking about it?
July 2021

COCKtober emojipasta

October 2021

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Halloween

NSFW

Holiday

How it feels to be a CSGO Liquid fan

I wake up from my slumber as the ray of sunlight passes the curtains and falls on my eyes, I sit on my bed for a while scrolling down through social media and then I make my way to the washroom. I sit on the toilet knowing this Liquid roster will never work out and as I defecate and the waste masses exit my body I look down and all I see is the current state of Liquid. As I flush the toilet I see the memories of the Intel Grand Slam run and all the other titles getting flushed and fading away into the pit of abyss. I look in the mirror and the flashbacks of last year's performances hit hard, I grab onto with the sheer force of hope. I hope that we shall rise one day, resurrect as a phoenix from the ashes but now it seems inevitable. The players on the team are way too passive and lord NAF himself cannot do anything. If you want to know how it feels to be a Liquid fan. It hurts everyday, every minute, every second, seeing my favorite team suffer. Seeing my lord NAF struggle in pain. The agony in his face and the sadness that multiplies every time they lose.
March 2022

CSGO

Noobmaster, hey itโ€™s Thor again

twitchquotes: Noobmaster, hey itโ€™s Thor again. You know, the god of thunder? Listen buddy, if you donโ€™t log off this game immediately I will fly over to your house, and come down to that basement youโ€™re hiding in and rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, thatโ€™s right, yea just go cry to your father you little weasel.
twitch chat
April 2019

Always has been

Always has been ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿš€
March 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing