[Copypasta] Oh, these? My boobies?

Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHub

twitchquotes: Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHubβ„’. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 4 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Gay section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

KappaPride

NA REJOICE! UMA JAN IS HERE!

twitchquotes: NA REJOICE! UMA JAN has crossed the ocean to show you the light! UMA JAN will teach you that sidelanes exist! UMA JAN will teach you that you can win a game before 40 minutes! NA REJOICE! UMA JAN IS HERE!
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Anime girl 3

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–„β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–’β–β–β–β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–€β–„β–€β–„β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–’β–’β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–€β–€β–„β–β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–β–β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–„β–€β–’β–β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–β–’β–€β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–’β–β–’β–’β–’ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’
ascii art
January 2017

Weebs

Coming out as morbsexual

In honor of Pride Month, I am here to say that it's morbin' time. Today, my fellow morbheads, we rise. I am proud to come out and express my true morbdentity to the world at this very morbment. I am a morbphile and I identify myself as morbsexual. My pronouns are morb/ius.
June 2022

Morbius

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