[Copypasta] Oh, these? My boobies?

Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is our town SCRUB

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง This is our town SCRUB (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง Yeah beat it! (ง •̀_•́)ง
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

A PROTESTOR STOOD UP AGAINST POLICE BRUTALITY IN LEGO CITY

A PROTESTOR STOOD UP AGAINST POLICE BRUTALITY IN LEGO CITY START THE UNMARKED POLICE VAN HEY! BUILD THE UNMARKED VAN AND OFF TO THE KIDNAPPING PREPARE THE INFANTRY, OPEN THE BACK DOOR AND MAKE THE UNLAWFUL ARREST THE NEW MILITARIZED POLICE COLLECTION FROM LEGO CITY
July 2020

Lego City

Ghiaccio: You know Paris, France?

You know Paris, France? In English, it's pronounced "Paris" but everyone else pronounces it without the "s" sound, like the French do. But with Venezia, everyone pronouces it the English way: "Venice". Like 'The Merchant of Venice' or 'Death in Venice'. WHY, THOUGH!? WHY ISN'T THE TITLE DEATH IN VENEZIA!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? IT TAKES PLACE IN ITALY, SO USE THE ITALIAN WORD, DAMMIT! THAT SHIT PISSES ME OFF! BUNCH OF DUMBASSES!
January 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

My brother won’t stop saying “ITS MORBING TIME!”

Someone for the fucking life of me help my brother (22) won’t stop saying “ITS MORBING TIME!” he found these words on fb or something and said its stuck in his mind and everytime he wakes up, shits, sleeps, pisses, EVERYTHING he says “its morbing time!” I’m losing my sanity, fuck you morbius. That was very un-morb
June 2022

Morbius

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