Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
My daughter is dating a douche-bag (response to /r/cryptocurrency post)
My daughter is dating a douche-bag
I don't know where I messed up, I thought I taught her well on what to look for in a man.
The guy just showed up at my house and starting rambling on about how DCAing 30 dollars in 4 months into Safemoon helped him understand finance and geopolitics. I told him he was completely oblivious about being in a ponzi, this only unchained a what I believed to be a cocaine induced speech saying that Safemoon was going to be the next Bitcoin and he was going to moon while buying "lambos" for his friends because he was no "Bitch-ass paperhands".
I'm a bank executive, so you can only imagine what a nightmare this is for me.
Don't know what the point of this post is, is not like my daughter is going to stop dating that idiot anyways. I'm scared about my daughter's future.
Cryptocurrency
Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial
twitchquotes:
Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre
let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
Ben Shapiro
3% off of everything except my forehead
twitchquotes:
Reynad ran crying out of the house. Knowing something was wrong, Frodan ran out after him. "What's wrong?" Frodan asked Reynad. Reynad replied with tears in his eyes, "Everyone was making fun of me." "Why?" Frodan said. Reynad barely eked out the words, "I can use promo code TEMPO to get 3% off of everything, except my forehead."
twitch chat
Reynad
DONALD TRUMP NUDES
twitchquotes:
IF πΊπΈ YOU πΊπΈ SEE πΊπΈ A LINK πΊπΈ THAT πΊπΈ SAYS πΊπΈ DONALD πΊπΈ TRUMP πΊπΈ NUDES πΊπΈ DONβT πΊπΈ CLICK πΊπΈ ITS πΊπΈ A πΊπΈ VIRUS πΊπΈ THAT πΊπΈ PUTS πΊπΈ AMERICAN πΊπΈ FLAGS πΊπΈ BETWEEN πΊπΈ EVERY πΊπΈ WORD πΊπΈ YOU πΊπΈ TYPE
twitch chat