[Copypasta] My kids were listening to Lil Nas X

My kids were listening to old town road by Lil Nas X and one of my kids asked me doesn’t he worship satan? Thinking face I said yes son sadly he does. I had to turn on No role modelz by J Cole to cheer him up My kids idolize someone better now! Thank you J Cole you’re a life saver!
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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I am going to short the whole country of South Africa

I assure you, this ISN'T going to get political. Because by all accounts South Africa is screwed. My planned position is bottom paragraph. Under the current ANC government there has been a general degeneration of all aspects of South Africa. Due to systemic nepotism, there are math teachers that don't know what square roots are, army officers that can't read, and cops that have never fired a gun. The practice of fictitious employees that take checks but don't work there is widespread enough that the government has drove itself into insolvency already. Estimates are that some 80% of government funds are misused in some way, ranging from government subsidies given to businesses owned by government officials to simply going missing from accounts. The ANC solved this, against advise of wiser people, with quantitative easing. Which is a fancy term for printing money, and since they could never possibly reverse that printer they're inflating the South African Rand which is why they've had two bouts of inflation near 9% twice in the past 20 years. That is all besides how the largely defunct government doesn't prevent anything on the ground. Roaming bands of pirates (many affiliates of the Marxist Economic Freedom Fighter party) will poison guard dogs and torture and murder residents often for as little as car keys and groceries. Many communities are functionally independent and take the law in their own hands, and in many areas utilities are defunct (untreated sewage goes in the river, untreated tap water comes out and it smells as disgusting as it sounds). South Africans are more likely to have their asylum applications accepted than any other nation as there are so many tales of rape and murder and threats of ethnic cleansing. This equates to the most educated citizens leaving SA and most SA based businesses diversifying out of the country as literacy rates have been falling. These disillusioned departures are not new, as they include the most famous Afrikaner in history Elon Musk who is now a naturalized American. Edit: The Economic Freedom Fighter's usual acronym isn't used because it's also the ticker for a penny stock. I first thought about shorting South Africa over a year ago when I was researching the country (I'm a historian, I read much on the country for fun). I found the only index tracking SA (EZA) wasn't an accurate representation of SA economy and buying puts on it was useless. It tracked only the largest cap firms, which are the aforementioned companies diversifying out of SA (mostly to other parts of Africa). Which is why it's a volatile ETF that overall trades sideways. Buying puts on it wouldn't really capitalize on SA going full Rhodesia/Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe having experienced the general breakup of modern institutions and hyperinflation due to similar problems. My new broker, IBKR, allows negative currency positions as long you post 10% as collateral. Now my native currency are US dollars, where inflation in 2020 was 1.4% while the South African Rand's inflation was 4.12% in 2020. That equals a 26.8% return on investment per year from that simple short position. But I'm expecting US Dollar inflation to stay between 1-2% a year while the Rand (ticker ZAR) stays north of 4% with inflation spikes inevitable over the next decade. This position also reduces my market beta, much needed for me as I've got hugely leveraged positions on American ETFs. This isn't a short term swing trade, I'm waiting for SA to implode.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Kripp thinks that milk is bad for you

twitchquotes: My dad drank milk his whole life. One day my mom told him "If u want to see ur children graduate, u have to stop" 3 years later he died of calcium deficiency. My mom told me "Dont drink milk; dont put your family through this" At 24, I have never touched a glass of milk. I must say, I feel a sense of regret, because watching Kripp play Hearthstone gave me calcium deficiency anyway.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

What's that?

twitchquotes: "Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Keanu Reeves you're breathtaking

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⢳⢀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀ ⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⠸⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠒⠐⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠒⣋⣙⡒⢰⠀⠤⣖⠒⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠸⠀⡇⠉⠉⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⣿⣿⣧⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⣸⠸⣿⣿⠿⠰⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⡠⠙⣲⣔⣅⢡⣰⣷⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡿⠭⠭⠭⠭⢿⠀⣿⢻⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⣿⢻⠹⣿⠐⠙⠛⠟⠉⢀⣴⡟⢿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⠀⠀⠻⣦⣤⣶⠾⠋⠀⠀⠁⡦⢄⢀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠁⡇⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠔⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁ ⠀⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⢎⠁⠀⠀⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢢⠠⠀⡠⢆⠀⠀⡠⠙⢄⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ You're breathtaking
July 2019

The default Fortnite dance is truly a masterpiece

twitchquotes: The default dance is truly a masterpiece. Never, in all of history, has such an artistic masterpiece ever been created. The choreography is possibly the most beautiful sight ever beheld by the human eye. The sharp sound of the SLAP when the player’s hands collide perfectly with the beat of the song sends a bone chilling shiver down my spine, every single time I hear it. I find my self watching my in-game avatar performing this phenomenal dance ritual for hours on end.
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

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