[Copypasta] My kids were listening to Lil Nas X

My kids were listening to old town road by Lil Nas X and one of my kids asked me doesn’t he worship satan? Thinking face I said yes son sadly he does. I had to turn on No role modelz by J Cole to cheer him up My kids idolize someone better now! Thank you J Cole you’re a life saver!
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021

Krepo and a 14 year old

twitchquotes: "So my girlfriend the other day asked if she could roleplay as a 14 year old while we were having sex. I was like what the fuck? That shit's gross. You're gonna be 14 in like two years anyways." - Krepo 2016
twitch chat
May 2016
Sneaky

League of Legends

Only the chosen one can wield this sword...

twitchquotes: 𝕠|𝕠𝕠𝕠|=========> 𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕐 𝕋ℍ𝔼 β„‚β„π•†π•Šπ”Όβ„• 𝕆ℕ𝔼 ℂ𝔸ℕ π•Žπ•€π”Όπ•ƒπ”» π•‹β„π•€π•Š π•Šπ•Žπ•†β„π”» 𝔸ℕ𝔻 ℕ𝕆𝕋 𝔹𝔼 π•Šπ•ƒπ”Έπ•€β„• 𝔽𝕆ℝ πŸ™πŸ˜π•„π•€β„• 𝔹𝕐 𝕀𝕋'π•Š β„™π•†π•Žπ”Όβ„. 𝔸ℝ𝔼 π•π•†π•Œ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 β„‚β„π•†π•Šπ”Όβ„• 𝕆ℕ𝔼? ℂ𝕆ℙ𝕐 π•‹β„π•€π•Š β„™π”Έπ•Šπ•‹π”Έ 𝔸ℕ𝔻 𝔽𝕀ℕ𝔻 π•†π•Œπ•‹!
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Graham Stephen is stingy

Graham Stephen the kind of guy that suck his own pp and cum in his own mouth to save tissue
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, this is Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C .... I came to warn you about the extinction of Herbivores and the 'never lucky' curse it bestows on us. Kripp, you must eat meat immediately! If you don't, a giant "MEAT-EOR" will crash into earth and extinct us all... again... Us Herbivores were wrong. WE WERE WRONG! WutFace
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing