My kids were listening to old town road by Lil Nas X and one of my kids asked me doesn’t he worship satan? Thinking face I said yes son sadly he does. I had to turn on No role modelz by J Cole to cheer him up My kids idolize someone better now! Thank you J Cole you’re a life saver!
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Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK
twitchquotes:
♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
How to win any Internet argument
Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on
twitchquotes:
I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
I feel Kripp fisting me through the stream
twitchquotes:
Every morning, I wake up only to watch Kripp play Hearthstone arena. I decide to subscribe to Kripp, join the '5-dollar club', to be part of Kripp himself. 'Welcome', Kripp exclaims, 'to the 5-dollar club!'. He gives the stream a brofist. I feel Kripp fisting me through the stream. A silent tear of joy escapes my eye.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
The pandemic in 2028 is kinda sus
Year is 2028 The pandemic has gotten so bad we are all forced to wear colored isolation suits with their own oxygen tank and no hands for contact. Those infected are turned into sociopathic murders that try to secretly kill everyone, but still dress and act like the rest of us. I work as a spaceship engineer in the Skled along with 9 other people. We just got notified that one among us was infected, but we still have to keep maintaining the ship otherwise it will explode. We are trying to figure out who it is by voting. 2 of us are already dead and i saw red vent, but nobody believes me. I think the others want to vote me off. This might be the last thing i'll write. Goodbye. Tell me wife i love her.