[Copypasta] I want to fuck a cheeseburger

I want to fuck a cheeseburger. Just having that cheesy goodness melt all around my cock would make me feel at ease with the world again. Being able to cum inside a dead cow makes me feel so alive. I have been banned from 231 McDonald’s for public masturbation. Whenever I see an ad for McDonald’s I get so fucking horny. God I want to fuck a cheeseburger.
April 2021
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A Reddit comment summarized and compressed

Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. You are now banned from /r/pyongyang What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. /r/dadjokes. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
August 2021

Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian. Its Becky from the Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department. Although "E-Sports" has indeed become mainstream, we unfortunately have declined your application to be on an episode of Sesame Street. We have already filmed the episode where "K" is the letter of the day. Thank you for your interest.
twitch chat
October 2015
Kripp

bruh moments

My gf gets mad when I call her cheating “bruh moments” and I’m not sure what to do She hooked up with some guys and instead of breaking down and crying or whatever she wanted me to do I just played bruh bass boosted for five minutes while staring at her so she’s angry now but what should I do
July 2022

Confessions

LS aka "Low Stamina"

twitchquotes: LS aka "Low Stamina" is a low energy depressed white american boy who cheated on a video game called starcrafting to impress his abusive mom. now he lives off korean welfare in his little world called twatch television
twitch chat
July 2019
imls

Blushing anime girl (ahegao)

⣿⣯⣿⣟⣟⡼⣿⡼⡿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠽⡟⢋⣿⣿⠘⣼⣷⡟⠻⡿⣷⡼⣝⡿⡾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⣵⡇⡟⠀⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⡇⣴⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⡇⠀⢣⣿⣷⣀⡏⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠁⠀⠛⠛⠋⠀⠂⠹⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠉⠁⠀⠘⠛⠛⠛⠃⢸⣯ ⣿⡇⠀⣄⣀⣀⣈⣁⠈⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠎⠈⠀⣀⣁⣀⣀⡠⠈⠉ ⣿⣯⣽⡿⢟⡿⠿⠛⠛⠿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢠⣴⣾⠛⠛⠿⠻⠛⠿⣷⣶ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⣶⣿⣫⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠰⣿⠿⠾⣿⡇⠀⠀⢺⣿ ⣿⣿⠻⡀⠀⠀⠙⠏⠒⡻⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡓⢚⠟⠁⠀⠀⡾⢫ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⡈⣉⡀⡠⣐⣅⣽⣺⣿⣯⡡⣴⣴⣔⣠⣀⣀⡀⢀⡀⡀⠀⣸ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣟⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⢾⣷⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⠫⡾⠟⠫⢾⠯⡻⢟⡽⢶⢿⣿⣿⡛⠕⠎⠻⠝⠪⢖⠝⠟⢫⠾⠜⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣋⣀⣈⣢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣐⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡿⣿⣿⢽⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⢅⣙⣙⠿⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣅⠀⠓⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2020

Weebs

NSFW

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