[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Bernie Sanders chicken nuggest

Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Bernie to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in New York???? This is so fucked.
April 2018

2016 US Election

Shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets

twitchquotes: Pedestrian: i want to give a shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Your team is all washed up

twitchquotes: Rick Fox invites Shiphtur to his private island, and says to him, "I want you to play on my team." "But who will be my teammates?" Shiphtur replies. Just as he asks that, Dyrus, Scarra, Voyboy and Imaqtpie swim ashore. Rick Fox smiles as he looks towards the shore: "Your team is all washed up."
twitch chat
July 2017

League of Legends

Kurumx's head with a bird

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣴⣶⣦⣍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣾⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢻⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⣩⣬⣭⠻⣿⣀⣿⣿⣿⢟⣤⠄⠈⠄⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣤⣒⠲⠶⢿⣘⣛⣻⠿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣷⣌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠈⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⢀⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⠎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣻ ⣿⣿⣯⢰⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠛⠻⠻⠻⢿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾ ⣿⡿⢿⡀⠄⠄⠈⠉⠻⠋⣧⠄⢀⠈⠉⠈⢀⣀⣤⣤⠄⠄⣀⣴⡦⣨⢻ ⣿⣧⣤⣭⡄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣦⢙⣿⣦⣼⣶⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⢻⣿⣯⣿ ⣿⣿⣝⣿⠏⢀⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢵⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠓⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡥⣬⣿⣿⠋⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠁⠄⠄⣊⣊⣐⣀⠄⢹⣿⣿⠿⢣⣲⣴⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⣍⣭⣿⣿⡟⠈⠁⢲⣡⡤⡙⢾⢿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠈⠿⠟⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣲⣿⣿⣿⡻⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2021
Kurumx

Teamfight Tactics

Leifman is part of the Third Reich

twitchquotes: when leifman mod the chat automatically go to r9k. leifman delete the pasta and feel he is one with the adolf. all becoming third reich.ž
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing