[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
twitch chat
May 2020

Super Smash Bros

Why are we whispering

twitchquotes: เบˆู„อœเบˆ สทสฐสธ แตƒสณแต‰ สทแต‰ สทสฐหขแต–แต‰สณโฟแต เบˆู„อœเบˆ
twitch chat
August 2014
Riot Games

It was dinner time at the Apex GAYmer house

twitchquotes: It was dinner time at the Apex GAYmer house. Moonmoon dishes up a steamy plate of pasta when he realizes he forgot the meat. Lassiz looks up from his plate, the gleam in his eye. "I got the meat right here for you baby" lubing up with marinara sauce Lassiz begins to pound his sausage into moonmoons tight lightly buttered dinner roll. The scream of delight, Lassiz releases his load, calling an end to yet another successful team dinner.
twitch chat
February 2019
MOONMOON

KappaPride

Bender

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
September 2021

Hey Doublelift, I'm trying to learn to play Shaco

twitchquotes: ๏ผจ๏ผฅ๏ผน ๏ผค๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผข๏ผฌ๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฉ๏ผฆ๏ผด๏ผŒ ๏ผฉโ€™๏ผญ ๏ผด๏ผฒ๏ผน๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผง ๏ผด๏ผฏ ๏ผฌ๏ผฅ๏ผก๏ผฒ๏ผฎ ๏ผด๏ผฏ ๏ผฐ๏ผฌ๏ผก๏ผน ๏ผณ๏ผจ๏ผก๏ผฃ๏ผฏ๏ผŽ ๏ผฉ ๏ผช๏ผต๏ผณ๏ผด ๏ผจ๏ผก๏ผถ๏ผฅ ๏ผก ๏ผฑ๏ผต๏ผฅ๏ผณ๏ผด๏ผฉ๏ผฏ๏ผฎ ๏ผก๏ผข๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผด ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผณ๏ผซ๏ผฉ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ ๏ผข๏ผต๏ผฉ๏ผฌ๏ผค๏ผš ๏ผณ๏ผจ๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผฌ๏ผค ๏ผฉ ๏ผญ๏ผก๏ผธ ๏ผข๏ผก๏ผฃ๏ผซ๏ผณ๏ผด๏ผก๏ผข ๏ผฌ๏ผฉ๏ผซ๏ผฅ ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต ๏ผข๏ผก๏ผฃ๏ผซ๏ผณ๏ผด๏ผก๏ผข๏ผข๏ผฅ๏ผค ๏ผฃ๏ผฌ๏ผง๏ผŒ ๏ผค๏ผฅ๏ผฃ๏ผฅ๏ผฉ๏ผถ๏ผฅ ๏ผฌ๏ผฉ๏ผซ๏ผฅ ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต ๏ผค๏ผฅ๏ผฃ๏ผฅ๏ผฉ๏ผถ๏ผฅ๏ผค ๏ผฃ๏ผฌ๏ผง๏ผŒ ๏ผฏ๏ผฒ ๏ผจ๏ผก๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผต๏ผฃ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผก๏ผด๏ผฅ ๏ผฌ๏ผฉ๏ผซ๏ผฅ ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต ๏ผญ๏ผก๏ผค๏ผฅ ๏ผฃ๏ผฌ๏ผง ๏ผจ๏ผก๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผต๏ผฃ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผก๏ผด๏ผฅ ๏ผก๏ผข๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผด ๏ผจ๏ผก๏ผถ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผง ๏ผก ๏ผฃ๏ผจ๏ผก๏ผฎ๏ผฃ๏ผฅ ๏ผก๏ผด ๏ผท๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผฎ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผง ๏ผก๏ผฎ๏ผฏ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ๏ผฒ ๏ผด๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผฒ๏ผฎ๏ผก๏ผญ๏ผฅ๏ผฎ๏ผด
twitch chat
November 2015
Doublelift

Classic

League of Legends

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