[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Jumping Mario

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–“β–“β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
November 2014

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

President's Day Emoji Pasta

ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! πŸš¨πŸš¨πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έtime to hop onto that founding father dickπŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸ‘΄πŸ»or should i say founding DADDIES!!!πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ‘…πŸ‘…πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ out here tryna get rammed from behind πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘harder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMOREβ˜„οΈβ˜„οΈβ›°πŸ”πŸ”george washington mightve been able to survive the harsh β„οΈβ„οΈπŸŒ¬wintersπŸŒ¬β„οΈβ„οΈ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheetsπŸŒͺπŸ’‘β“β“β“be the monica Lewinsky πŸ™‹πŸ»to my bill clintonπŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈ baby and i wont deny i had πŸ†πŸ†β™‹οΈsexual relationsβ™‹οΈπŸ†πŸ† with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programsπŸ’ΈπŸ’ΈπŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈπŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈπŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈβœπŸ»send this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSESπŸ‘ΈπŸΌπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‘ΈπŸΌwho will throw the nastiest neckπŸ†πŸ†πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸŒ¬πŸ’¦ on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAYπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ’™πŸš¨β€οΈ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonightπŸ±πŸ±πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ™ŒπŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ
February 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

President's Day

Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T

twitchquotes: TriHard TriHard TriHard TriHard β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € TriHard β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € TriHard β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € TriHard β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € TriHard Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T.
twitch chat
February 2020

ricardoFlick lyrics

twitchquotes: ricardoFlick I ricardoFlick LIKE ricardoFlick YOU ricardoFlick CUZ ricardoFlick YOU ricardoFlick GOT ricardoFlick THAT ricardoFlick SOMETHING ricardoFlick THAT ricardoFlick I ricardoFlick NEED ricardoFlick IN ricardoFlick MY ricardoFlick LIFE ricardoFlick SO ricardoFlick GIVE ricardoFlick IT ricardoFlick TO ricardoFlick ME
twitch chat
November 2019
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