Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
I used to be a real ad
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When you clean your vacuum cleaner
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When you clean your vacuum cleaner, aren't you the vacuum cleaner? 
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AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?
AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?
Okay, little background.
My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald.
My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through.
Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation.
My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole.
What do you think?
Am I The Asshole?
Will Smith Slap
EHE TE NANDAYO
twitchquotes:
EHE TE NANDAYO 
EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO PunO
EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO EHE TE NANDAYO PunO
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Weebs
Gay chicken
twitchquotes:
In high school, I was dared to play "gay chicken", which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay, and the first one to chicken out loses. The other guy and I are both really stubborn, and neither one of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and we run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with out adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect that he's actually gay
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Classic
KappaPride
Kripp is actually still living in Canada
twitchquotes:
Kripp Is actually still living in Canada, He's Got Artificial sunlight to make it look like he's living in another timezone with Speakers that emit background sound All so that he can get more Euro and Australian Viewers and make it look like he's not actually a vampire so vampire hunters donβt hunt him down. I see through your disguise Kripp 
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Kripp