[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

How do I get my husband to stop going ā€˜Goblin Mode’ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ā€˜Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ā€˜Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ā€˜Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ā€˜Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ā€˜Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ā€˜Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the ā€˜Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

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My eyes are open

twitchquotes: ćƒ½ą¼¼Ź˜ĢšŁ„ĶœŹ˜Ģšą¼½ļ¾‰ MY EYES, ARE OPEN ćƒ½ą¼¼Ź˜ĢšŁ„ĶœŹ˜Ģšą¼½ļ¾‰
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Kripp

Watch a middle aged man play a children's card game

twitchquotes: EleGiggle THAT MOMENT EleGiggle WHEN YOU EleGiggle REALIZE EleGiggle EleGiggle THAT YOU PAY $5 A MONTH EleGiggle TO WATCH A MIDDLE AGED MAN EleGiggle PLAY A CHILDRENS CARTOON GAME EleGiggle
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Hearthstone

The sweat begins to form at qts brow

twitchquotes: The sweat begins to form at qts brow. His fingers are clammy, his neckbeard ruffled. After dying yet again he sees the hope of getting challenger fade away. "oh my god i cant believe we didn't get that guy," he proclaims. This is the beginning of the end for imaqtpie.
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League of Legends

Harvest Jack Raid Shadow Legends ad

SPOOKY, you don’t wanna run into this pumpkin, harvest jack is one scary champion if you wanna see him shine put him in the arena, his fear ability turns good to bad and bad to worse. With his sythe and glowing eyes, harvest jack is scary, you want him on your side in RAID SHADOW LEGENDS, download now and play for free
May 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing