[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Hey guys a little bit sick today

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper Hey guys a little bit sick today ResidentSleeper kinda tired cuz I didn't sleep well ResidentSleeper gonna be another short stream ResidentSleeper we're going to clear up some dallies on the free accounts first ResidentSleeper we'll do some arena later ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
October 2015
Kripp

Today is the day I copypasta

twitchquotes: (ΰΈ‡ Ν Β° ΝŸΩ„Νœ Ν‘Β°)ΰΈ‡ I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ΰΈ‡ Ν Β° ΝŸΩ„Νœ Ν‘Β°)ΰΈ‡
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Traumatized Mr Incredible

βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬›β¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–β¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž– βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž– βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–
ascii art
February 2022

Kripp's salt

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–β–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’ β–’β–’β–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–€β–„β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–β–β–Œβ–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
ascii art
November 2014
Kripp

Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing