[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
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The Ghost of Gaming Future

twitchquotes: The Ghost of Gaming Future shows Kripp a nice house in the Toronto suburbs. Inside, Kripp, Rania and their sons are happily gaming as a family. "This isn't so bad," says Kripp. "Look closer," speaks the Ghost. Kripp looks in horror to see his sons are using tablets and playing browser cash-shop games. "This is your future Casualarrian."
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Imagine the profit!

twitchquotes: soon kripp. you will have enough subs to turn it into sub mode. you will cause a rage so fierce from the common plebs that they will only turn to subbing to not lose their spam rights. you will become the richest streamer on here based off the rage of others. imagine the profit!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

AITA for drop kicking my 2 month old sister down the stairs?

Some backstory required: Earlier today I was trying to relax but she wouldn't stop fucking making annoying ass googoo gaga noises. So today, I see her, and she is actually standing up! First I think to take a picture and tell my parents, but than I remember what an entitled bitch she is. I run forward, and leap forward and plant both my feet in her face as we both tumble down the stairs. I told my parents that she crawked in front of me whilst I was about to use the stairs so I'm out of trouble, and the surgery went fine and she is basically fine although she seems to have fucking learned her lesson as she 'talks' a lot less now. Next time she does this I'm uppercutting her entitled little baby skull
August 2021

Am I The Asshole?

Tall Dog

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘
December 2019

Tyler, you are a role model to other streamers

twitchquotes: Tyler, you are a role model to other streamers where you dont prioritize your subs, you are a man of culture who appreciates many things with your 195 IQ. You solved many of the worlds mysteries and invented 400k viewer records. You make even the worst games winnable and never surrender at 15. You are the sole man to walk the Earth capable of achieving such feats. You will leave your footprints in history books.
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing