Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
We blizzard care much about the player experience
twitchquotes:
We blizzard care much about the player experience. For this reason, we're changing the card Ultimate Infestation as follows: Deal 5 damage, gain 5 armor, summon 3 JADE GOLEMS, Add 5 Jade Idol to your hand. I'm Ben Brode, hope you still like my raps!
twitch chat
Hearthstone
Moderators you have no right to ban me
twitchquotes:
Dear moderators. You have no right to ban me or remove my messages. Do you even know who my father is? He is a very powerful and rich man. I strongly advise you not to mess with me or consequences will be met in court. I hope you understand all the seriousness of the situation. Have a good day.
twitch chat
MODS
Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith
twitchquotes:
The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
twitch chat
Super Smash Bros
Kurumx big brain
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⡙⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣍⡙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣍⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣧⢻
⣿⣿⣿⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⡿⣿⢸
⣿⣿⣯⢰⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠛⠻⠻⠻⢿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣨
⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣭⡈⠙⠻⣿⣿⡟⣩⣭⡈⠙⠈⣀⣤⣤⠄⠄⣀⣴⡦⣨⢻
⣿⣿⣿⢸⡿⠉⢻⡆⢸⣴⣦⢸⡿⠉⢻⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⢻⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣦⡛⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣦⡛⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢵⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠓⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡥⣬⣿⣿⠋⣾⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠁⠄⠄⣊⣊⣐⣀⠄⢹⣿⣿⠿⢣⣲⣴⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⣍⣭⣿⣿⡟⠈⠁⢲⣡⡤⡙⢾⢿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠈⠿⠟⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣲⣿⣿⣿⡻⢿⣿
Kurumx
Teamfight Tactics
Biden transplants his brain into the United States' neural network database
thats very true. if you vote trump, there is no nuance in that little flipping nugget of a brain of yours. you are a simpleton, comparable to the gum stuck on the heel of my shoe- dirtying an institution which needs to be scraped clean. thankfully, your time has come. the antics end with joe biden, who has squandered the far-right and united a nation, and once he transplants his beautiful old slimy man brain into the United States' neural network database (which is encrypted and connected to the internet, along with google's whole database, so yes, he WILL know what you're doing) we can finally live in a safe country.