Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
What happened to this ad? :(
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STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US!
STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! My friends on TikTok send me memes, on Discord its fucking memes. I was in a server, right, and ALL the channels are just Among Us stuff. I showed my Champion underwear to my girlfriend, and the logo I flipped it and I said "Hey babe, when the underwear sus! HAHA! Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding DiDiDing!" I fucking looked at a trash can and I said "Thats a bit sussy!" I looked at my penis, I thought of the astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PEN-SUS!" AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Among Us / Amogus
Classic
Kripp's history
twitchquotes:
Paparrian was born in Germany, the youngest of the five children (three of whom survived) of Hanz Hector Paparrian, from a noble family of the province of Freiberg. In 1932, he began his medical career in Theodor Meynert's psychiatric clinic at the Trollstein General Hospital. The same year, he married Mamarrian, the granddaughter of Isaac Bernays, a chief rabbi in Hamburg. In the summer of 1935, the couple had a beautiful and gifted child: Kripp. On 15 September 1935, Hitler presented two laws who deprived so-called "non-Aryans" of the benefits of German citizenship. The young parents, extremely afraid for the future of their beautiful child, where confronted to a question that would forever change the fate of the world: was Krip Aryan?
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Kripp
Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911
Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here's why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Ape rocket
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