[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
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I want to come. Not on your face

twitchquotes: I want to come. Not on your face. Not on your titties. I want to come over whenever you need me. Those late nights when you have too much on your mind. Or you have nothing on your mind. Iโ€™ll be there, whenever you need me.
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February 2019

Not your naked body

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โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–โ–€โ–โ–€โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–Œโ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œ
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twitchquotes: HOW CAN GERMANY SCORE 7 GOALS WHEN THERE ARE ONLY 2 NETS IN THE FIELD?
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Ameng meets Bumper in a hallway

twitchquotes: Bumper broke into a cold sweat. There he was across the hallway, a man whose name that brought chills down his spine. Bumper looked down, hoping to avoid direct eye contact. "A-ameng," Bumper stuttered. "What up, virgin" Ameng boomed. Bumper braced himself but it was too late. Ameng's 5000 tonne shoulder slammed into his, the movement causing air waves across the room. Bumper flew back and the concrete wall chipped around him. His shoulder was definitely broken. "Later, nerd." Ameng chuckled.
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