[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Bitcoin

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January 2021

CSGO becoming Russian

twitchquotes: As my first FPS game, csgo was a bit overwhelming. I soon started to gain skills like aiming at head level. Before I knew it, I was performing лучше and better. I stopped making silly ошибки and я got vastly better at not умирающий to the enemy игроки. For the наиболее part, everyone I've met was helpful and хороший, there есть the иногда рывок however. As Я по-прежнему play csgo все более и более, Я уверен, что я буду продолжать совершенствовать. Я рекомендую эту игру для всех!
twitch chat
April 2016
pashaBiceps

CSGO

Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS

twitchquotes: Chat. My son is watching kripp. Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS . It's not good for a kid to see that. He might be curious about tasting a glorious *** in the future. I dont want that.
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

The Dead Sea is one of the world's saltiest bodies of water

twitchquotes: The Dead Sea is a salt lake bordering Jordan to the east, and Israel and the West Bank to the west. It is also one of the world's saltiest bodies of water. It is 9.6 times as salty as the ocean.[6] This salinity makes for a harsh environment in which all but one animal can flourish, hence its name. The only creature that can live in such high salinity levels is Reynard. He is also the reason for the dead seas high salinity.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad
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