[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

NA ULT LUL

twitchquotes: Listen up you fcking dweebs, this is a WAKE UP CALL to all those who type "NA ULT LUL". I'm from NA and let me tell you what happens when I use my Ultimate Ability (Q on PC, Triangle on PS4, Y on X-box 1). The enemy team is eviscerated. Decimated. Their souls are expelled from the server and banished to Hell. They wallow in their own filth and shit for 10,000 days and it is disgusting. So next time you type "NA ULT LUL" you fcking remember this post.
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Overwatch

Half watermelon wants to be full watermelon

twitchquotes: Hey guys i am half watermelon but to be a full watermelon i need people to roll like water melon. I hope you will help me become a full fledged watermelon. Me as a full fledged watermelon will not disappoint you and I will become the best watermelon ever. Thank you.
twitch chat
July 2014
Riot Games

Keep it, you need it more with all that salt

twitchquotes: `So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..." -Forsen 2015
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

Crab

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣯⡛⠋⠁⢻⡟⠈⠙⢛⣽⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⠛⠛⣷⡀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⢀⣾⠛⠛ ⡀⠀⠈⠻⣶⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣶⠟⠁⠀⢀ ⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾ ⠛⠛⠛⠶⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠶⠛⠛⠛ ⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣰ ⣿⣿⡿⠶⠚⠉⠀⠀⢀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠶⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠋⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣄⠀⠀⠙⢦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
October 2019

Kittarrian and Pussytron

twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing