I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
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More Copypastas
I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy
twitchquotes:
Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy." 
twitch chat
Kripp
Jared thought he was back with the crew
twitchquotes:
Jared, jumping for joy at the site of an easy victory with QT thought he was back with the crew. Little did he know QT was devising a cunning plan to demote Jared back to Diamond 3. Boom, like a shot in the dark, an instant 4 man surrender stole the wind right out of Jared. Jared glanced over to his 9mm, knowing one day he will have his chance to right these wrongs.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Boosted Animal Jared
League of Legends
President's Day Emoji Pasta
🎉HAPPY🥳PRESIDICKS🍆😫DAY😛💦2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣ years ⏱ago 🗓our 👏👏fav😍pounding🧈👊🏻😘 father 👴🏻🍆💦and😌main🥺💯bitch💁♀️🤭WHOREge😎WashingSLUT🥳💅🍾came💦💦into👉👌this🌎WORLD🌍to ✌️becum💦 🤫the🇺🇸1ST🇺🇸presiDICK😢🍆🤞of👏🥳the💅United🇺🇸Sluts👙Of🤭America🇺🇸🏳️🌈send📧📲this➡️to 🔟of😉the😩sluttiest🍑💦💦patriots🔞👙🇺🇸you👇know🤗if you get 🔟 back😏😏you’re👏invited to the ✍️📝constitutional 📝✍️COCKus🍆💦 if you get 5️⃣ back 🤭🤣💁♀️ you’re a Mt. Rushmore 🗻👨🏻🦳WHORE🍆🍑👙💦if you 👤get 0️⃣ back 💔😹no 🚫 presidick🍆💦 for 🤭you 😭👨🏻🦳🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
Holiday
I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child (among us)
I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming “THAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! 
IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
Among Us / Amogus
Sparkle the spam away
twitchquotes:
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ SPARKLE THE ✿*∗˵╰༼✪ᗜ✪༽╯˵∗*✿ SPAM AWAY (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
twitch chat
Kripp