Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
I used to be a real ad
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HODL
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WallStreetBets
I couldnβt tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do
I couldnβt tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe Iβm jacked to the mfβing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MFβER.
WallStreetBets
Little dribble drop
You guys ever like hustle your pee too quickly and pull your dick in faster than youβre done shaking? Then you have that little dribble drop that goes onto your leg. Itβs only a drop. But you fucking feel it. Sprawling down your thigh. Making its presence known and ruining whatever plans you just had.
Just happened. The fucking worst.
WallStreetBets
Christmas for a wsb trader
As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some.
How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully.
βAre you coming to bed?β your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. Youβll stop soon, though. βSoon!β you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps.
The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltβthe alternation feature brokenβon red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like theyβre bleeding. Like your calls.
After a timeβhours?βyou realize youβre sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
WallStreetBets
I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer
I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer. While my formal education is a bit lacking, my cad and computer animation skills are really good, and I have some truly paradigm shifting ideas for bait stations, both vr and non vr.
currently in the beginning stages of seeking VC funds, really trying to move my operation from San Antonio to Austin, a second location could triple my revenue right now.
Obviously right now all our orders are high end custom stations, way out of reach for the avg wsb user. Its my dream to one day be able to produce real bait stations in a production environment.
Right now my company is in talks with several engineering firms out of Seoul to take our cum recycling system and some how use the energy from the spent cum to recharge the batteries.
While the technology is new. It has huge applications. Imagine when you go to charge your tsla, its powered completely by cum.
No longer must we let our nonbiological female prostitutes flush our GOLD down the toilet post coitus, that shit is going to drive our new society.
The money we save as a society on sock costs alone is tremendous.