Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
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GME to the moon
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WallStreetBets
Classic
Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma
FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... Iβve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.
WallStreetBets
Genetics is the future
I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers.
Genetics is the future.
WallStreetBets
How traders politely decline the second date
I discovered recently if I am on a date and Iβm not that interested in a second, all I need to do is start talking about my stocks. They wonβt ask for another one then, I wonβt have to politely decline.
WallStreetBets
Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla
December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume.
"Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows.
We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.