Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
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Rift Scuttler of fortune
twitchquotes:
ยฐใฝเผผ ็ยฐใฝ เผฝ,, You've been visited by Rift Scuttler of fortune. Tingle your antennae and copy paste this message 5 times without getting banned by mods and luck be with you for the next year ยฐใฝเผผ ็ยฐใฝ เผฝ,,
twitch chat
Bjergsen
SpongeBob is asexual (spoilers)
SpongeBob is asexual
No this isnโt some lgbtq+ stuff
Heโs a fucking sea sponge
They reproduce asexually
Among Us pick up lines
Thankful to have you as a crewmateโฆ but do you want to add a letter and become screwmates instead?
Hey, are you one of my tasks? Because I really want to do you.
Hey, are you a vent? Because Iโm the imposter and Iโd love to come in you.
I have a lot of tasks to complete still, but Iโd love to do you first.
Hey, call me the MedBayโฆ because Iโd love to scan your body.
Figuring out the imposter is hardโฆ. but Iโve got something harder.
Iโm jealous of your hatโฆ Because it gets to be on you.
Hey are you busy later? Because Iโd love to explore your lower engine.
Hey, youโre done your tasks right? Wanna come explore my cockpit then?
If youโre the imposter, Iโd love to be the ventโฆ That way you can come inside me whenever you want.
Damn, I wish you were a taskโฆ Because Iโd have no problem doing you and over and over.
Hey did you just kill me? Because Iโve got a big bone sticking out nowโฆ
Among Us / Amogus
Imaqtpie takes a break from the stream
twitchquotes:
"Alright we fuckin lost," Michael says. "I'm gonna go piss." He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately bites Small Cat's vulnerable tail. As Small Cat yelps loudly in pain, Michael overturns the nearest chair, yelling "SMAKET I LOST" as loudly as he can. Lisha tries to calm him down, but Michael swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Michael wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
๐ HAPPY NEW YEARS SLUTS ๐
๐ฏhey SlutS! ๐ฏ๐
Now that we got our yearly ๐ FUCK ๐๐ผfrom good ole Saint DICK ๐
๐พ itโs FINALLY New Years Eve!!!๐๐พ๐
2๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ2๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ was a LONGG ๐๐ and HARD ๐โ๐ป๐ซ year.... we laughed๐๐๐๐ผ We cried ๐ข๐๐ We coughed ๐ฆ๐ค๐คง we fucked GOOD๐๐ป dick๐ and ๐ต๐ตBAD ๐ dick, ๐ซ BUTT ๐ now letโs ๐๐Celebrate ๐๐ and watch that ๐ฆ๐BIG ๐
BALL ๐๐๐ผ Drop ๐๐ on us! ๐๐ So spread ๐๐ฝ those ๐๐ฝ legs ๐๐ฝ and count down โฌ๏ธ from ๐ until your man ๐ช๐พ pops ๐ his CORK ๐พ๐พ into that thirsty ๐
thirsty ๐
hole! ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ Send this to 2๏ธโฃ1๏ธโฃ COCK-BEGGING โ๐ป๐ WHORES to get BUTTFUCKED ๐๐ฑ for the next 3๏ธโฃ6๏ธโฃ5๏ธโฃ days ๐๐๐