[Copypasta] Leifman, please go back to work in the salt plant

twitchquotes: Stop it, guys. I'm Leifman's sister, and mother of our beautiful little daughter, Leifgirl. The spam and constant harassment in this chat is driving my beloved Leifman insane. Since he became moderator, he's spending all his time here, and can't provide for his family, anymore. Please, Leifman, get back to work in our salt plant, we need the money.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Stream snipers

twitchquotes: One day, the Papa asks Kripp to go fishing, Kripp shrugs, “Alright, but catch and release only – I’m vegan.” They arrive at the local pristine clear waters of an Ontario stream brimming with wild trout and prepare to fish. Suddenly Kripp shouts, “Get down!”. A crack sounds through the air, and the Papa sees Kripp on the ground bleeding. His final words are, “Fucking stream snipers.”
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Times change...

twitchquotes: Laying on the ground, devastated by the news my beloved Kripp has joined TSM, a hooded figure approaches, kneels down, grabs me by the shoulder. “This was not his destiny.” I said, holding back the tears. I look up, the stranger removes his hood and looks me in the eye, “Times Change…” says Trump, as he pushes me to the ground. This wasn’t supposed to happen. BibleThump
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Daddy, where do dongers come from?

twitchquotes: (=◕ل͜◕=) Daddy, where do dongers come from? (=◕ل͜◕=) ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ﾉYou see, little dong, when a donger and a dongerina dong together, the dong of the donger releases thousands of small dongs, which dongs the dongerina. 9 dongs later, the dongerina goes through a dong process, which finally raises a donger. ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ﾉ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Evere Time Kripe Bro Fist I Put Balls On Compotur Scren

twitchquotes: Ｅｖｅｒｅ Ｔｉｍ Ｋｒｉｐｅ Ｂｒｏ Ｆｉｓｔ Ｉ Ｐｕｔ Ｂａｌｌｓ Ｏｎ Ｃｏｍｐｏｔｕｒ Ｓｃｒｅｎ． Ｍａｅｋ Ｋｒｉｐｅ Ｌｏｏｋ Ｇａｙ Ｈａｈａ Ｋｒｉｐｅ Ｔｏｕｃｈｂａｌｌｓ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
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