[Copypasta] I, as a heterosexual man

twitchquotes: I, as a heterosexual man, would never feel attraction to another man. Not even a slim, supple young lad with hyper feminine features in the most endearing cat outfit you could possibly imagine. That doesn't seem attractive to me at all. If you find pictures of men like this, you can just send them to me so I know what to watch out for and avoid.
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November 2020
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Rick screaming

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⠤⠴⠒⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠑⠒⠲⠦⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡤⠒⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⢄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡤⠤⠖⠒⠚⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠒⠒⠶⠤⢄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠑⠲⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⠲⠶⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠒⠒⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠶⠒⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠓⠲⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠤⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢧⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡄⠀ ⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⡀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⡗⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇ ⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⠹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠲⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠶⠒⠉⠁⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠈⠓⠶⠤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⡤⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⢄⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⠤⠂⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠲⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠚⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⠤⠤⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀ ⣀⡴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢦ ⠁⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⠉⠛⣻⣶⠢⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠘⢦⣀⣠⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠴⠒⠛⣷⣶⣤⣄⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠉⣳⢤⣀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠔⠛⣧⡀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄ ⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣶⣿⣿⠀⠈⠙⠲⣤⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣀⡤⠴⣾⡉⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣠⣾⣷⠀⠉⠉⣽⡏⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣦⣄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣾⣿⣷⣄⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁ ⠀⠀⠈⠻⣏⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⢀ ⣦⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠦⣄⡞⠁⠀⠀⢻⡿⠏⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⠟⠉⠻⣿⡿⠋⠉⢿⡿⠃⠀⢀⣨⠿⠋⠀⠀⣴⠚ ⠀⠉⠦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠲⠦⣄⣼⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠸⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢹⠇⠀⠀⠀⢻⠃⠀⢀⣨⡧⠴⠒⠉⠀⠀⢀⡤⠏⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠒⠢⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⠒⠒⠛⠒⠲⠤⠤⠴⠧⠤⠤⠤⠤⠼⠖⠒⠒⠒⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣀⣀⡴⠞⠉⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠴⠖⠒⠒⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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May 2021

Rick and Morty

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

You notice a wall of text in twitch chat

twitchquotes: You notice a wall of text in twitch chat and your hand instinctively goes to the mouse. You scroll up to stop the chat elevator and read the pasta, indulging in its delights... You soon realize that this pasta conveys no information nor is particularly witty or funny. Nevertheless, you drag your mouse across, hit Ctrl+C, then Ctrl+V and press Enter
twitch chat
March 2016

Classic

Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
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September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

Crying laughing hands on face emoji (ICANT emote)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⡯⠝⠛⠊⠉⠉⠉⠉⠓⠛⠫⢽⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⠗⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡽⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣎⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠠⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢯⢿⣿ ⡿⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠰⠶⣶⣤⣌⡀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠤⡀⠀⠀⠑⢔⠒⠢⢄⠀⠈⢎⢿ ⣷⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠉⠁⠐⠠⢀⠀⠈⠐⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠢⠀⠘⣿ ⡾⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠊⡲⠤⠄⡀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠀⢿ ⡇⠀⢀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣁⠀⠦⣀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⢸ ⢧⡰⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⣌⠀⠉⠙⠳⠦⣭⣔⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⡾ ⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⠾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⡀⠈⠙⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⢿ ⣇⣇⠀⠀⡰⠃⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣈⡑⢠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢸ ⣿⣿⣧⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢺ ⣿⣿⣿⣽⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⢸⡇⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣒⣦⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⢤⣼⣳⣯⣿⣷⣿⣤⣯⣾⣿⣿
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December 2021
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