[Copypasta] I, as a heterosexual man

twitchquotes: I, as a heterosexual man, would never feel attraction to another man. Not even a slim, supple young lad with hyper feminine features in the most endearing cat outfit you could possibly imagine. That doesn't seem attractive to me at all. If you find pictures of men like this, you can just send them to me so I know what to watch out for and avoid.
twitch chat
November 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Hey subs, it's me walking with my $5, don't mind me

twitchquotes: Hey subs! [Μ²Μ…$Μ²Μ…(Μ²Μ…5)Μ²Μ…$Μ²Μ…]γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½ΰΈ‡ It's me walking with my $5, don't mind me.
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

plebs vs subs

According to all known laws of TFT, there is no way a Soju should be able to fast 9

According to all known laws of TFT, there is no way a Soju should be able to fast 9 with this board. Its gold are too small, and its comp is not stable. The Soju, of course, goes fast 9 anyway because Soju doesn't care what humans think is a fast eif.
July 2022
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen. When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place. There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise. And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work. Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable. And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts. And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.
September 2021

One off lethal

twitchquotes: Discovering his inner-passion for painting, Kripp leaves Twitch for good and takes Rania and Dex on the road with him to pursue his dream. After six months Kripp realizes being an artist is a lot harder than playing video games. But it’s too late. Homeless and starving, Rania hates Kripp, Dex hates Kripp, and, worst of all, Kripp hates Kripp. Buying a gun one rainy day, he puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. *click* He forgot to buy bullets. β€œOne off lethal,” Rania sobs.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Yuno Gasai

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–β–€β–Œβ–€β–Œβ–„β–’β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–β–β–’β–β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–„β– β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–„β–€β–„β–β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–β–‘β–Œβ–„β–€β–„β–‘β–β–’β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–‘β–€β–„ β–€β–„β–€β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–„β–€β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–β–β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–€β–„β–β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€ β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–’β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–’β–Œβ–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–β–€β–„β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–β–’β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–’β–β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–β–’β–‘β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–Œβ–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–β–‘β–β–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–„β–€β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–€β–„β–Œβ–‘β–β–’β–’
September 2018

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing