[Copypasta] Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

No, youโ€™re NOT a real gamer.

No, youโ€™re NOT a real gamer. Iโ€™m so sick of all these people that think theyโ€™re gamers. No, youโ€™re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying โ€œI put well over 100 hours in this game, itโ€™s great!โ€ thatโ€™s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends. Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokรฉmon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once. Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.
June 2021

See you in court

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is Anne, just letting you know that the DNA test came back positive and I will be seeing you in court to get my child support. Oh and btw she is now 4 years old and asking where is daddy ***, either way see you in court..
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 3

We had a school assembly today, and the speaker was talking about bullying. The speech was pretty boring, but there came a point in his presentation where he said "I know there are some students among us who have been subject to bullying." Honestly, I couldn't believe my ears. I thought, "There is no way the speaker just said Among Us." I decided to troll the speaker by standing up and yelling "When the imposter is sus!" while making a huge grin (just like in the memes). To my surprise, no one laughed. Everyone fell dead silent and looked at me. The speaker said "I'm sorry, what was that?" I decided to explain to everyone what I was talking about, and said "Get it guys? It's from Among Us." Still, no one understood the reference. I turned towards my friend Caleb (I know him from band), and said "You get it, right? It's from among us!" However, he had his head buried into his lap. I looked at my friend Dalton (He plays the trumpet in band, just like I do), and yelled "Dalton, do you get the joke????" He didn't even make eye contact. Suddenly, the assistant principal came up behind me and said "Please sit down, this is a school assembly." I screamed back at her "SCHOOL ASSEMBLY?? MORE LIKE EMERGENCY MEETING!" I then naruto ran down to the stage, pointed at the assistant principal, and said "SHE'S SUS!!! I SAW HER FAKE A SCAN IN MEDBAY!" Still, no one laughed. I then said "I'm not the imposter, I was in vents the whole time!!" (referencing a meme). No one understood the reference. I saw people whispering to each other, but no one laughed. I then made a face resembling the "big chungus" meme, and said "You guys don't get it?? That's not very Wholesome 100." When I realized no one was laughing, I yelled "Don't any of you guys use reddit?" The audience was dead silent, until someone yelled "Sit down!" (which was very rude and not wholesome) I pointed back at him and shouted "You're breathtaking!!" I don't think anyone got the joke becaude no one laughed, so I said "Do you guys know who Keanu Reeves is?" No one responded, which is kind of cringe because I thought that at least SOMEONE would know who Keanu is. I ended up getting escorted to the principal's office and getting suspended for a week, but in my opinion, it was totally worth it. I trolled EVERYONE. I'm gonna forever go down in Reddit history. I also realized that there aren't any redditors at my school (which is very cringe in my opinion).
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

๐Ÿ‘ปBOO! Srry did I scare you?

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘ปBOO! Srry did I scare you???๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ it's October ๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐ŸŒ‘ you know what that means ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ SLUT-O-WEEN ๐Ÿ‘ฏ send this to 10 of your 10 sluttiest ghost bitches ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ if you get 5 back you're a slutty witch but if you get 10 ur the spookiest bitch on the block๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ‘ป
twitch chat
September 2017

Emoji Pasta

I'm a level 20, diamond 1 smurf who mains ADC Taric

twitchquotes: Whatโ€™s so special about this? Seriously, i am a level 20, diamond 1 smurf who mains adc taric. I was playing with a Morganna support vs a katarina, she did the same exact thing. Seriously, i see all morg mains make simple plays like these. Nothing INSANE about this basic hig-elo play, you cardboard scrubs. ๏ปฟ
twitch chat
November 2014
Trick2g
Text-to-Speech Playing