[Copypasta] Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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You can't stop what's coming leafboy

You can't stop what's coming leafboy. I walk all over leaves every autumn, you think this year will be any different? Your flag is a fucking leaf. You chose the one part of the tree that dies every year. Not only that, but it's one of hundreds of leaves, thousands if it's a big tree. All dead come winter. Every winter. A vicious cycle. Totally insignificant. As soon as the tree has had it's way with you you are cast to the Earth to be trod by all other living things. Ants? They not only stomp about you, they will steal your corpse and use it for their people. Birds steal your lifeless shell with impunity. Leaves not only die once, but every year. A brave man dies only once, but leaves die a thousand deaths, or at least 20 or 30 if the tree lives that long. Perhaps more. Every year, leafs crunch beneath my boot. This year shall be no different. So it shall be written. So it shall be done. The day of the rake is at hand because every day is the day of the rake and has always been.
January 2021

Help Doge Take Over Steam

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ Help โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ Doge โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ Take โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–โ–ˆโ–Œ Over โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆ Steam โ–โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œ Copy โ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–โ–ˆ And โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆ Paste โ–Œโ–“โ–„โ–Œโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ŒDO IT. โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–
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February 2021

Pole Dancer Navy Seal Copypasta

What the *** did you just *** say about me, you little ***? Iโ€™ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Pole Dancers, and Iโ€™ve been involved in numerous strips, and I have over 300 confirmed handstands. I am trained in pole warfare and Iโ€™m the top Ashley in the entire US strip forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the *** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my *** hearthstone chat. You think you can get away with saying that *** to me over the Internet? Think again, fuckers.
October 2014

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Can we stop bullying Doc???

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Yoda and his RNG wisdom

twitchquotes: <(-_-)> greed leads to the bad rng, the bad rng leads to the frustration, frustration leads to the mistake, and the mistake leads to the dark side <(-_-)>
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Kripp

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