[Copypasta] Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Dank memes

twitchquotes: πŸ…³πŸ…°πŸ…½πŸ…ΊπŸ…ΌπŸ…΄πŸ…ΌπŸ…΄πŸ†‚
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March 2016
ESL TV LoL

i think its hilarious u kids talking shit about reynad

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twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

I know Pikachu dittos are pretty wild looking

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twitch chat
March 2019

Super Smash Bros

Among us has ruined a generation

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April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing