I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Papparian returns from a business trip
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripp, Papparian here. I recently returned from my business trip. All the furniture is gone, my bank accounts are empty and I found out you moved to Europe. What in the heck is going on???
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Kripp
We wub you Reynoodle. Give chat a kissy kiss.
CSGO becoming Russian
twitchquotes:
As my first FPS game, csgo was a bit overwhelming. I soon started to gain skills like aiming at head level. Before I knew it, I was performing лучше and better. I stopped making silly ошибки and я got vastly better at not умирающий to the enemy игроки. For the наиболее part, everyone I've met was helpful and хороший, there есть the иногда рывок however. As Я по-прежнему play csgo все более и более, Я уверен, что я буду продолжать совершенствовать. Я рекомендую эту игру для всех!
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Hikaru and Magnus fanfic
twitchquotes:
"Your chess is insane." Hikaru said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Magnus's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to mate me?" protests Magnus, as Hikaru blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Magnus. "Weak tempo play, Hikaru." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Magnus places his Rook into Hikarus open line.
twitch chat
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Dex sits in a huge doghouse
twitchquotes:
A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a huge doghouse. Full and content because of his "kibbles and bits" diet, he's too happy to move. He's so happy, and enjoys life. He knows his owner has hope of a 12 win run. He knows he could draw attention to himself, since he's the king of his house. In a single act of pride, Dex barks to give Kripp his praise. "Good boy Dex" is his response.
twitch chat
Kripp