[Copypasta] Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Hello Tides is me Kripperino here

twitchquotes: ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ノ Hello Tides is me Kripperino here. I have finished my streaming days. Please take care of my childerinos for me, and pay their child supporterino. Lots of love, Kripp <3
twitch chat
June 2015
TidesOfTime

Joe Rogan is obsessed with cooking meat over fire

I have become obsessed with cooking meat over fire. I get prepared for it. I make sure I'm hungry before I cook it. The smell of the smoke and the aroma of the crackling meat ignites some ancient genetic memories. It makes cooking and eating significantly better.
January 2022

Joe Rogan

Kripp's older videos

twitchquotes: Kripp, I was on your channel earlier and one of your older videos caught my eye. It was you and Krippi beating inferno hardcore Diablo. Now that was intense. Over 15 minutes of pure battle and you didnt let up for a second. Now I have to ask, how did you fall from grace? All these intense world firsts under your belt and now you just play a childrens card game and peddle mobile games. Its like seeing a hero from your childhood being stuck in a retirement home.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Wealthy businessman from the land of Kantito

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Redito I am wealthy businessman from the land of Kantito. I come to watch the tipp stream becaus i want 2ba master. I must ba master of all pokemonarino or my boss "giovanito" will fired me from my businessman job and the helixito will be sad. plz no caparino fettuccine alfredini jigglypuforoni
twitch chat
July 2014
TwitchPlaysPokemon

This guy's deck is average

twitchquotes: ☑ “This guy's deck is average” ☑ “My deck wins about half of the time against a deck like that” ☑ "He played precisely those two cards" ☑ “He topdecked a mediocre card for a mediocre turn” ☑ "He had several cards" ☑ “There were multiple options open to me” ☑ “I played that"
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Text-to-Speech Playing