I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police
twitchquotes:
📢 ATTENTION, OCTAVIAN MOROSAN! This is Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police! You have been accused of violating the Supreme Vegan Charter by drafting beast cards in your arena decks and forcing them to fight for you! This is a blatant act of animal exploitation and is punishable by death! Surrender peacefully and we will make it a quick and painless one! This is your only warning!
📢 ATTENTION, OCTAVIAN MOROSAN! This is Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police! You have been accused of violating the Supreme Vegan Charter by drafting beast cards in your arena decks and forcing them to fight for you! This is a blatant act of animal exploitation and is punishable by death! Surrender peacefully and we will make it a quick and painless one! This is your only warning!
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Kripp paints and is one off lethal
twitchquotes:
Discovering his inner-passion for painting, Kripp leaves Twitch for good and takes Rania and Dex on the road with him to pursue his dream. After six months Kripp realizes being an artist is a lot harder than playing video games. But it’s too late. Homeless and starving, Rania hates Kripp, Dex hates Kripp, and, worst of all, Kripp hates Kripp. Buying a gun one rainy day, he puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. click He forgot to buy bullets. “One off lethal,” Rania sobs.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Don't download Discord
====⚠️ATTENTION⚠️ ====
If you see an app called Discord
DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT.
It will install a virus called Discord, and if you run it, it will launch Discord
====⚠️ATTENTION⚠️====
Discord
The Nun
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣔⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⢣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡌⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⠄⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⢸⠉⠠⠻⠎⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠙⠛⢿⡇⠃⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡆⣾⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⠄⠄⠰⠆⠄⢸⣿⠇⠄⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠄⣿⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣷⣄⣠⣶⣶⣾⣿⣠⠄⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⣻⠄⠄⠄⣤⠠⠈⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠄⠈⡄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⢿⡄⠄⢸⣻⡃⠄⢾⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⠄⠄⢃⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢀⠃⠄⠄⣞⣇⠄⠐⡿⣣⡤⠤⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠘⡀⠄⠄
⠄⠄⡘⠄⠄⠄⠹⣞⡀⠄⠄⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠇⠄⠄
⠄⢀⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⡀⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄
⠄⡘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣦⣀⣨⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡆⠄
⢀⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⣺⣿⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢣⠄
⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡄
What's it like playing against Patron
twitchquotes:
Sometimes when I see my opponent drop that Warsong Commander, I quickly turn my volume up to max, let go of my mouse, lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I let the sounds of whirling blades and orc and dwarf voices engulf me and dive into a dream-like state where only I exist, floating through space with a sweet warmth in my belly. It's almost therapeutic.
twitch chat
Kolento