I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
BAN ONE FROG GET THE WHOLE POND
twitchquotes:
BAN 
ONE FROG GET THE WHOLE POND
ONE FROG GET THE WHOLE POND
twitch chat
Ban X Get The Whole Y
Gotta hit up the bathroom V2
twitchquotes:
"Give me a second guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom". He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a blank stare. As Dex yips, Kripp stands up out of his chair, saying "This game is ok." at a medium volume. Rania continues streaming, and Kripp walks past her on the way to the bathroom. After taking a few breaths, Kripp walks back to his desk, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
Kripp
I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”
I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”
You read the title, I just cannot believe I said the “g” word on accident. Am I even an atheist anymore? I don’t like religion or anything but like maybe it infiltrated me and is manipulating me to say “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”. Please guys it wasn’t me, I didn’t mean it. I’m very disappointed in myself, I think I need to go to science camp or go to therapy. What if I’m secretly religious? what should I do? Is my foreskin going to fall off?? Please can someone give me advice, any advice is appreciated.
Best regards,
-an atheist(?)
Is there an anime character stronger than Twilight Sparkle?
twitchquotes:
Is there an anime character stronger than Twilight Sparkle? And I'm referring to supercharged Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle with Princess Celestia's guidance, full understanding of the Power of Friendship, control of The Elements of Harmony and Spike, equipped with her royal tiara, the Castle of Friendship, and the Rainbow Friendship Kingdom, as well as her Rainbow Sheen and Rainbow Power, with the magic of all the Alicorns implanted in her chest to give her full control of magic?
twitch chat
Fortnite default dance 7
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀
⠀⠀⣶⣿⠿⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⣤⣤
⠀⣶⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠿⣤⣀
⣶⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣀⣤⣶⣭⣿⣶⣀
⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠿⠿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⠛⠿⣿⣤
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣤
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⠛⠉
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉