[Copypasta] Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020
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Xi Jinping isn't so great?

twitchquotes: Xi Jinping isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a dictator with so much power over a country? Xi Jinping brings the world economy to another level, and we will be blessed if we see another dictator with his skill and passion for human rights again. Mao Zedong breaks records, Stalin breaks records, Xi Jinping breaks the rules. You can keep your free speech, I prefer my social credit score
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November 2019

New agent idea: Hog rider

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THE ONLY WORLD RECORD NA OWNS

twitchquotes: LUL THE LUL ONLY LUL WORLD LUL RECORD LUL NA LUL OWNS LUL IS LUL LOSING LUL THE LUL QUICKEST LUL INTERNATIONNAL LUL BO5 LUL TO LUL EUROPE LUL
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twitchquotes: RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED, I absolutely don't want to live in this nation where our GREAT PRESIDENT TRUMP is getting ROBBED! This is absolutely the final straw, my KIDS ARE IN DANGER and I won't live in this nation another day! I'M MOVING TO HAWAII AND FINALLY LEAVE THE USA!!!
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2020 US Election

Text-to-Speech Playing