[Copypasta] Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

GET THE PEPPER OFF

I ain't never seen no mustard on that, but it might be good though, my dad would know better, boutta get him. Aww, mustard! Come on man, now don't put no mustard on that, you need to put a little season on that thing! WHAT! Man come on get that pepper off there! Come on, somebody come get this man! Come on now, come on get that pepper of there, that's just too much doggone pepper. I don't wanna see this no more! Oh, what happened oh. GOD! OH MY GOD! BOY WHY YOU PUTTING THAT PEPPER ON THERE?TAKE THAT OFF OF THERE. GET THE PEPPER OFF! ACHA!!
July 2021

Kirby is the best character Ultimate has to offer

twitchquotes: Honestly? If you think about it, Kirby is the best character Ultimate has to offer. D-tilt trips even at high %, his specials allow for mind games and early kills, the list goes on. While a top tier character, he requires the player to have a diverse skill set and deep understanding of the game to play. He's an underplayed, underappreciated gem of the smash roster but unfortunately, I think that less competent players like Nairo have a long way to go before utilizing him with his full potential.
twitch chat
May 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

Tricky the Clown (Impropable Outset)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠐⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠯⠿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠚⠉⠉⠟⢋⣹⠿⣿⣟⡛⠙⠻⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⢶⣿⡏⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⠶⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣶⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠁⠘⡇⠀⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⢠⠆⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⢿⣿⣷⠀⠀⣴⣶⣿⡆⢠⡇⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣌⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⡋⠁⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠿⢯⣉⣙⡿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠄⢀⡄⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⡿⠉⠀⠉⠳⠶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⡚⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⣼⡿⠋⠀⡴⡻⠁⡤⢞⢢⠚⢿⣿ ⣿⢟⠊⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠦⣤⣁⣀⣩⠤⣴⠖⠋⠀⠀⣸⠤⡗⠐⠁⢉⠻⣞⠈⣿ ⡏⠀⠁⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣀⡆⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣴⠃⠀⢠⠀⠀⢳⠀⢧⠀⠫⡀⠘⢈⠽⣿ ⡇⠀⢠⠂⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠁⡇⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢾⣟⠀⠀⠆⡄⠀⠈⢷⡉⠳⣤⣠⣉⣤⣾⣿ ⡇⠀⡼⠀⠀⠳⣄⣀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠀⠀⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⣊⣁⣴⣿⣿⢻⠶⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⡽⠷⠾⠷⠛⠋⢹⣿ ⣿⣦⣌⡓⢢⣤⣀⣨⠽⠒⠋⢀⠔⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⢸⡹⣆⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡴⠷⠖⠒⠲⠤⢄⡀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠔⠁⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠙⢦⢻⡝⠷⢤⣴⣃⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⠀⠀⠀⣠⣟⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣷⣶⣾⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

Same

twitchquotes: The time was 1:53 AM. This is the last game of my plat promos. The season will end in 7 minutes. We're down by bot turret with our team as we push our lead. I see Scott rolling in as Rammus, traveling at a speed that would put Sonic himself to shame. His words echo through my $5 earbuds. "I'M GOING IN!" I pause to take in the world around me. I can do anything right now. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limits no longer apply to me. I gather the strength in my forefinger as I slowly lift it over my R key. I say...no, I yell, with the ferocity of a million suns, the single word that could be heard around the world. "Same!" Galio prepares himself before leaping into the air, and delivering a devastating blow to the enemies' backline. We did it. The enemy team retreats back into their low elo. I was platinum. With a farewell to Scott for his outstanding work, I drag myself to my bed, ready to fall asleep. My phone chimes. Checking the notifications, I saw only one. A text from Clown9 Sneaky. The message brought a tear to my eye. The message simply read: “I’m proud of you.” Now very emotional, I typed a reply. "Same."
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

League of Legends

How is depression real?

twitchquotes: HahHaHahAhHAHA How the fuck is depression real? Just be happy 4Head
twitch chat
May 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing