I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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More Copypastas
if you are a single girl and also a gamer
twitchquotes:
if you are a single girl and also a gamer please send me a direct message so that I can get to know you 
no, this is not a joke or a "copypasta" I'm genuinely looking to find someone who shares my passions
no, this is not a joke or a "copypasta" I'm genuinely looking to find someone who shares my passions
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This is Bob Ross communicating from beyond the grave
twitchquotes:
Hi, this is Bob Ross communicating from beyond the grave. I dedicated my life to painting so that you brats could do something more productive with your lives than sitting on your *** playing your stupid Atari games all day. I don't appreciate you morons abusing my legacy and turning me into some childish meme that you can spam on your little MSM chat thing. Now go paint a mountain or something and don't you dare copypaste this.
Hi, this is Bob Ross communicating from beyond the grave. I dedicated my life to painting so that you brats could do something more productive with your lives than sitting on your *** playing your stupid Atari games all day. I don't appreciate you morons abusing my legacy and turning me into some childish meme that you can spam on your little MSM chat thing. Now go paint a mountain or something and don't you dare copypaste this.
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Bob Ross
Classic
Simping for Pokimane is a lifestyle
twitchquotes:
Simping for Pokimane isn't just a moment, itโs a lifestyle ๐ซ a reason to breathe ๐คฒ an escape from this evil world filled with thieves ๐ Itโs art ๐ผ the first gift you open on Xmas ๐ a hug from a loved one ๐ค everything youโve ever wanted love ๐ everything you need ๐๐ฅบ
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Pokimane
Simps
I've won 69 rounds of Fortnite
twitchquotes:
๐๐๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ท ๐พ๐น ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ฑ, ๐ฒ'๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฒ๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป 90 ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ'๐ป๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท ๐ถ๐ฎ? ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ด ๐ช๐ฐ๐ช๐ฒ๐ท ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฝ, ๐ฒ'๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐ท 69 ๐ป๐ธ๐พ๐ท๐ญ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐ท๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ฝ. ๐'๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐ท ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ด๐ฒ๐ท๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ท๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฎ, ๐ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐พ๐ท๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐น๐ธ๐ท๐ผ. ๐จ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ณ๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ท ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ผ๐๐ช๐ฝ, ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ฑ.
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Fortnite
Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro
twitchquotes:
Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
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