[Copypasta] Trevor from ChatBotsForTwitch.com

twitchquotes: Hi [insert streamer name], this is Trevor from ChAtBotsForTwitch,com. We kindly request that if you're going to pay the extra to have our employees interact with your chat, you don't make fun of them. We know you have difficulty getting real viewers and it frustrates you, but please don't take it out on my employees. Thank you, Trevor.
twitch chat
March 2021

Classic

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

TIFU: Losing my Virginity to a Water Slide

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them. Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem. At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day. While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made. Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that! Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
August 2021

Classic

Cover yourself in oil to fly

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠤⠄⠒⠒⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠐⠒⠒⠒⠂⠤⣤⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⠒⠤⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠠⠠⠤⠤⠤⠒⠊⡸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡀⠄⠄⢀⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡰⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⡀⠈⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣊⣀⣀⣀⠄⡰⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣫⣙⣛⣛⣛⣿⣟⣻⡻⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣯⣽⣾⣿⣟⣻⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⣹⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡼⠋⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡠⠞⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⠶⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⠴⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢀⣀⣀⡤⠤⠖⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄oil floats on water⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣯⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣵⣿⣿⣿⣟⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣫⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⣋⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡿⣛⣫⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣭⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⡿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⣾⣿⣛⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣾⣷⣿⣟⣿⣞⣽⣿⣟⣾⡿⣫⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⡉⡉⣶⠤⠄⠤⠹⠯⠭⠝⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣭⣾⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⢘⣥⣤⡤⢄⡀⠄⠄⢂⣀⣈⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡿⣿⣿⢟⡿⣷⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⢿⣽⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡿⢋⡤⣲⠬⣘⣫⠽⠛⠺⠓⠄⢲⠟⠛⡋⣉⣁⡄⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⢍⣾⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡤⠻⠐⢯⡓⢦⣄⣀⡀⣖⠦⠄⡈⣹⠦⠍⣡⣧⠈⡾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠘⢶⠄⠈⢿⣹⢷⣤⣼⡉⠓⠒⠛⡗⠒⣎⣯⣿⢸⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠣⡀⠄⠙⠦⣀⡏⠙⠛⡟⢻⡿⢿⢿⣿⡿⢸⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⣒⣷⣣⠔⢭⠙⡒⠳⠾⠶⠟⢛⠩⠄⠘⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⠟⠁⣿⠈⠿⡷⢦⣈⣁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⣰⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡴⠛⠁⠄⠄⣷⠄⠄⠙⢦⠄⠄⠉⠉⠓⠒⠊⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⢷⡀⠄⣀⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⡤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢧⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄wait for it to rain ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ cover yourself in oil ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⠖⠒⠒⣒⠶⠒⠒⠲⠶⠒⣶⣶⣤⠤⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡰⠟⠄⠠⣐⠹⠦⠉⠒⠒⢀⠁⠐⠒⠂⠤⠄⠍⡀⠓⢦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡞⠄⠄⠄⣀⢨⣾⣿⣿⣛⡳⣦⠄⢀⣘⣤⣴⣦⣦⡄⠄⢘⢧⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡜⠋⣴⠞⢻⡛⠶⠦⠴⠞⠄⠈⠙⠋⠄⠈⢹⡉⠉⢀⣀⣴⠶⠕⡁⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢇⠄⢧⠒⢻⡉⠓⢶⣄⣀⡀⠐⣟⣫⣤⠄⠈⣹⠷⠄⡈⢁⣧⢐⡣⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⠻⣆⠄⠄⠙⣯⢻⠷⣦⣤⣿⡉⠛⢛⠒⠻⣶⠒⢺⣏⣿⣿⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢧⡈⠄⠈⠛⣄⡀⣹⠟⠛⠛⢿⠿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⠄⠄⠹⢶⣗⣴⡢⠉⡛⠶⢤⠤⣿⣀⣼⣡⡼⣥⠿⠾⠃⠄⢈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠘⠚⠮⣍⡐⠄⠂⠤⠉⠙⠓⢒⢀⡨⢒⡴⣼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡴⢛⠟⠛⢿⠶⠤⣤⣀⣄⣀⣠⣷⠞⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡴⠋⢀⡞⠄⠄⠄⢷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⠚⠄⠄⡼⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡾⠃⠄⠄⢰⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣧⠄⠄⠄⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⠁⠄⣴⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣏⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⠄⠄⣠⣿⣀⠄⠄⠄⣹⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠋⠄⠄⠄⠙⢶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⠏⠄⠠⠄⠠⢤⣤⡴⠄⣀⣄⠈⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⠄⠏⠄⠄⠐⠃⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠄⠈⠐⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠶⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⢀⣀⣀⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⣴⠶⠚⠉⠁⠘⠓⠋⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢶⣤⣠⡖⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⠗⠄⠄⠄⠖⡭⠭⠿⢅⡠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠾⢿⠄⣄⣀⣸⢸⣸⠄⠄⢂⠱⢆⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠁⣲⠆⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣱⣟⢥⣿⡸⠤⢆⡀⠄⡰⠌⡁⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠙⠃⠉⠓⠂⢓⠦⣤⣆⡤⠴⡒⠒⠚⠉⢀⣰⠈⢶⣧⠄⢳⣄⣠⡖⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠻⠶⠤⠤⠛⠙⠂⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⣿⣄⠄⠢⠓⠈⢛⠕⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠠⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄fly⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⣷ ⠄⣿⣾⡤⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⠄⠄⣿⣿⡗⣿ ⠄⣿⣾⣶⣟⣀⣤⣤⣤⣾⢿⡿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣦⣶⣶⣤⣿⣿⣏⣹⣏⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⡗⣿ ⣠⣿⣿⣦⣿⢿⣹⣏⣿⣿⢾⡷⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⢶⡷⣷⡆⠄⠄⢹⣧⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⣿⣯⣹⣏⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣉⣯⣹⣿⢾⡷⣿⠄⠄⣤⣶⡦⠄⠄⣿⢻⡗⣿⠄⠄⠄⢺⣍⣿⣿⣉⣿⣿⣿⣏⣹⣏⣿⣆⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣄⢀⣿⣿⣤⠂⠄⣿⢻⡟⣿⡆⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
July 2021

Classic

Doublelift dodges Imaqtpie in queue

twitchquotes: Doublelift fired up his stream for another day of soloQ, but foolishly forgot to check if Imaqtpie was in a game. He opened up QT’s stream to find him sitting in queue… He frantically began tabbing between his client and QT’s stream, then one after the other… both queues popped. “I need the toilet” he said to his chat. He ran to the wall and unplugged his internet. He was safe for another day.
twitch chat
March 2017
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying

Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying. Everyday someone online calls me a "weeb" desu. Watashi won't stand for this. 26 percent of bullying victims are chosen due to their race or religion desu. I may look like a basic white boy, but deep down I am Nihongo desu. Watashi religion is anime. Anata wa bullying me because of my race and religion desu ka? Disgusting desu. Anata should be ashamed of yourself, racist pig. A baka gaijin like anata is probably jealous of my race and culture, cause Nippon is more sugoi than your shitty country desu. Watashi pity anata. You'll never be Nihongo like watashi. I'm a weeb? Pfft. I AM AN OTAKU DESU. Educate yourself on nani a "weeb" is before anata try to insult watashi desu. I WILL NOT BE CYBERBULLIED ANYMORE. REPORTED.
December 2018

Weebs

Classic

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
July 2022

Classic

Confessions

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Text-to-Speech Playing