[Copypasta] Japan's most influential engineers

twitchquotes: Today, we've sadly lost one of Japan's most influential engineers. His name was "Yaoi Futanari" and he designed some of the most important parts of the modern CD Player. He has sadly passed away at the age of 96. Show some love and give him a search on Google.
twitch chat
June 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Never click on scam links, try typing the URL by hand

twitchquotes: Summoners, beware! The consequences can be quite Sivir if you click on links promising free Riot Points. Never click on links that you don’t trust - instead, try typing the URL in by hand.
twitch chat
July 2014
Riot Games

League of Legends

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

Anime girl 9

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣏⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿ ⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣧⡙⠻⣿⡇⣿ ⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠃⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣟⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⡦⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⡦⣿ ⣿⣾⣿⡏⣠⠄⠈⣉⡙⡻⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⢿⡀⢀⣉⠉⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣶⠄⠄⢠⣤⣄⣀⡀⣿ ⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣠⣀⠄⢸⣿⣇⣿ ⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠾⣛⣿⣵⣿⣿⡟⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿ ⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣈⣉⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣽⣿⣿⠊⢿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣯⣿⣿⡇⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⣿
ascii art
October 2018

Weebs

I love Carl from Brawl Stars

Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
December 2020

Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp
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Text-to-Speech Playing