[Copypasta] Japan's most influential engineers

twitchquotes: Today, we've sadly lost one of Japan's most influential engineers. His name was "Yaoi Futanari" and he designed some of the most important parts of the modern CD Player. He has sadly passed away at the age of 96. Show some love and give him a search on Google.
twitch chat
June 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Traumatized Mr Incredible

โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌ›โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž– โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž– โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–
ascii art
February 2022

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Octavian Morosan. I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA. Recent reports say that you are playing a children's card game and spilling PJSalt everywhere. The PJSalt is clogging our network and blocking our abilities to spy on you and the rest of Canadaland. I am going to have to ask you to stop the salt as it is a threat to national security. Please don't copy paste this official document. This is serious.
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

salty

Destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey

twitchquotes: As I have stated strongly before, and just to reiterate, if Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey (Iโ€™ve done before!). They must, with Europe and others, watch over the captured ISIS fighters and families. The U.S. has done far more than anyone could have ever expected, including the capture of 100% of the ISIS Caliphate. It is time now for others in the region, some of great wealth, to protect their own territory. THE USA IS GREAT!
twitch chat
October 2019

Not enough brofisting

twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing