[Copypasta] Annoying Lit mobile YouTube ad

twitchquotes: So lit mobile just sent me this solar wireless battery pack, I'm excited, lets see whats inside. I really like the build its got really nice grips on the side, its shock proof, and water resistant. The power bank has 20,000 milliamps which can fully charge your phone up to eight times. Its also got a convenient loop for carrying. on the back of the device we have a bunch of solar panels which can charge the battery bank in about 60 minutes. On the top of the device, there are 3 usb ports and 2 of them are fast charging. If you hit the power button 2 times, the led light comes on. If you hit the power button once, the led lights will tell you how much battery you have. There's a micro usb port on the side for fast charging. My favorite part of this device is that it charges my phone wirelessly. there's a red light indicator at the top to let you know that your phone is charging.
twitch chat
May 2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0wr37CZWdc
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Gregory, do you see the small vent on the floor?

Gregory, do you see the small vent on the floor? Have you ever heard of Among Us, Gregory? You need to vent. I know it will be hard for you to be sus, but i know you can do it Gregory.
January 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Five Nights at Freddy's

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Christian Father is concerned with Fortnite

twitchquotes: Hello everyone, concerned Christian father here. Recently, my 11 year old son downloaded the video game "Fortnite" after playing it at a friend's house. While I didn't mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had taken up hard drugs and smoking. When asked to do his homework, he called me a "default" and did a strange dance. His grades have been dropping heavily ever since that day and now he's threatening me with violence. Yesterday I entered his room to see him smoking a cigar and playing extremely loud rave (sinner) music, he has dyed his hair blue and neow refuses to go to Bible Study unless we "take the battle bus". I don't know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transport except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
twitch chat
January 2019

Fortnite

Canadaland

twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Dreaming about forsen

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢸⢟⣛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣶⣶⣶⡆⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸⡿⡽⠿⠾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⡇⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⢸⣧⣤⢴⡦⣽⣿⠃⢀⣀⡒⠯⠄⢀⢀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣧⠄⠚⢿⣧⣅⣀⣤⣔⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣷⢸⣿⡿⣻⠿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣄⣀⣸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣅⣤⡦⠦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⡉⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⡯⢸⣿⠿⢿⣿⣏⣉⢙⣒⣿⣿⢿⡿⠃⠛⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⢋⣭⠍⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠸⠋⠄⠄⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡿⣛⡭⠌⠁⠊⢠⣿⣟⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣦⣄⣤⣤⣤⣀⣤⣠⣤⣤⣤⣶ ⡇⢿⣰⠏⢀⣾⢆⣽⣛⣼⣦⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡘⢿⣤⣿⣵⡟⣸⣿⠿⠃⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣛ ⣿⣧⢺⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠄⠄⣠⡔⣘⡻⠿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠉⠉⠉⠛⠒⠿⠿ ⣿⣿⣧⢿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢴⡿⢋⣴⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⠿⣛⣩⣶⣿⣿⡿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⠿⠘⣿⣿⢿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
December 2020
Forsen
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