[Copypasta] Annoying Lit mobile YouTube ad

twitchquotes: So lit mobile just sent me this solar wireless battery pack, I'm excited, lets see whats inside. I really like the build its got really nice grips on the side, its shock proof, and water resistant. The power bank has 20,000 milliamps which can fully charge your phone up to eight times. Its also got a convenient loop for carrying. on the back of the device we have a bunch of solar panels which can charge the battery bank in about 60 minutes. On the top of the device, there are 3 usb ports and 2 of them are fast charging. If you hit the power button 2 times, the led light comes on. If you hit the power button once, the led lights will tell you how much battery you have. There's a micro usb port on the side for fast charging. My favorite part of this device is that it charges my phone wirelessly. there's a red light indicator at the top to let you know that your phone is charging.
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

My mobile phone gets hot if you spam

twitchquotes: pls don't spam. i'm watching on my mobile phone and it gets very hot if you spam so my hands get burned. if you don't want my hands to get burned stop spamming pls
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Jokerd I can do whatever I want

twitchquotes: Who do I think I am? Let me tell you who I am. I am world first level 60 in fucking classic wow. I can do whatever the fuck I want. You think I'm a random player? You think I'm a fucking random player? Let me fucking clue you in bitch. I am the the guy who had 350 fucking thousand viewers playing this fucking game. Me, not you. The most views ever on this game. The first guy to hit 60. I can do whatever the fuck I want.
twitch chat
November 2020
JokerdTV

Butt-Head

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠋⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣄⣀⣤⡀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣻⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠾⣿⣯⡹⠿⢿⣿⣿⣧⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⢻⣿⣿⣿⣬⣤⠹⡿⢣⣶⣼⣿⣿⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢿⣛⡿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⢿⡻⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⢻⣿⣿⡶⠶⠶⢿⣿⡟⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2022

Ameng meets Bumper in a hallway

twitchquotes: Bumper broke into a cold sweat. There he was across the hallway, a man whose name that brought chills down his spine. Bumper looked down, hoping to avoid direct eye contact. "A-ameng," Bumper stuttered. "What up, virgin" Ameng boomed. Bumper braced himself but it was too late. Ameng's 5000 tonne shoulder slammed into his, the movement causing air waves across the room. Bumper flew back and the concrete wall chipped around him. His shoulder was definitely broken. "Later, nerd." Ameng chuckled.
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Text-to-Speech Playing