[Copypasta] I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!

twitchquotes: DansGame "I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!" KevinTurtle "Get on the plane." 🎶🎵I'm only human after all don't put. your blame on me🎵🎶
twitch chat
September 2018
With the launch of Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime, the show's commercial was playing all over Twitch.
I used to be a real ad
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I'm done with this chat

twitchquotes: That's it, I'm done. *** this chat. It's devolved into a mass of retarded copy pastes and face spam. The quality of twitch chat has been declining for a while, but this is the last straw. That's it. I'm done. I'm uninstalling the internet, chopping off my dick and moving to *** Antarctica, at least the bacteria there will be *** smarter discourse.
twitch chat
March 2014

Classic

TriDance

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣶⣦⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣤⡄⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⠟⠃⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠈⠀⠰⣦⣤⣤⡆⢀⡀⠸⢷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣭⣿⡁⠈⣁⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⢰⣦⢸⣿⠟⢃⣼⣿⠇⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⣶⠀⢸⣿⣷⣿⣷⡀⠻⡿⠀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⢀⣾⠟⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠸⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠘⠻⠿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⠹⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⣸
ascii art
October 2020

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

New banger (from r/conservativerap)

Aye 😂 Yuh 👌🏾👀 Uh 😔😤 Skrrrt 💨🤔 I 👁 hate 😡 people 👫 who have a different 😡 skin 💅🏻👑 color 🎨 from me (x32) instrumental 🎺 break 💔 I 👁👀 hate 😡🌚 people 👫 who have a different 👀❓⁉ skin 💅🏻👑 color 🏳️‍🌈 from me (x32)
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

It is physically impossible to simp for pokimane

twitchquotes: Simp means Sucker Idolizing Mediocre Pussy. A man is only a simp if the girl he is after has a mediocre pussy, but pokimane’s pussy is a goddess pussy, at worst. I will continue to donate 50% of my paycheck to pokimane because I know that it’s not simping. Poki if you see this I love you please text me back.
twitch chat
May 2020
Pokimane

Simps

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