[Copypasta] I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!

twitchquotes: DansGame "I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!" KevinTurtle "Get on the plane." ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽตI'm only human after all don't put. your blame on me๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽถ
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September 2018
With the launch of Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime, the show's commercial was playing all over Twitch.
I used to be a real ad
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Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
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SPAM HORSE TO HELP SEBASTIAN FORS

twitchquotes: ๐ŸŽ SPAM ๐ŸŽ THIS ๐ŸŽ HORSE ๐ŸŽ TO ๐ŸŽ HELP ๐ŸŽ SEBASTIAN ๐ŸŽ FORS
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OMG that was not a c9 plat chat

twitchquotes: OMG that was not a c9 plat chat ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ you see, I know what a c9 is because I'm a low diamond and understand concepts such as c9, reset, dive and goats, unlike you PLATS ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘Œ
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copypasta is dumb

twitchquotes: copypasta is dumb (dont copy this message. i know its tempting, and i know you might think it'll be funny, but in reality, it's not)
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