[Copypasta] I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!

twitchquotes: DansGame "I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!" KevinTurtle "Get on the plane." šŸŽ¶šŸŽµI'm only human after all don't put. your blame on mešŸŽµšŸŽ¶
twitch chat
September 2018
With the launch of Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime, the show's commercial was playing all over Twitch.
I used to be a real ad
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What is the most powerful card in Hearthstone?

twitchquotes: What is the most powerful card in Hearthstone? Credit Card.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Asmongoldā€™s Defence for Brony Accusation

"Listen. Just because I know who Rainbow Dash is, and I know what Equestria is, and Princess Celestia is, and I- I know uh, other things about the thing too probably I- probably I think about it, I don't know - Just because I know that stuff - Pinkie Pie, yeah, the- I don't- Look, it- I- I'm not- no, sounds like you know the story- of course, LISTEN, what do they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer guys, t- remember- remember how they say that? Wh-what do you- wait, there's nothing wrong with this, it's- it's- that's, SEE? Look guys, yeah, TRUE, TRUE, yep, and absolutely not, nope we're downvoting this one, no, nope nope nope, that's not true, sus-"
April 2022
Asmongold

I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT

Oh for the love of God. Enough with the MORBIUS. Whatā€™s even the joke???? ā€œHahahaha hey guys the movie sucks but I pretend itā€™s goodā€???? THATS NOT EVEN A FUCKING JOKE. Holy shit my dick is going to fall out of its foreskin if I have to hear, ā€œhehe itā€™s morbin timeā€ ONE MORE TIME. Not only is it NOT funny, IT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE. THE POWER RANGERS HAVENT BEEN RELEVANT IN DECADES. MORBIUS SUCKS THE MOVIE IS COMPLETE TRASH AND IM ASHAMED TO HAVE SPENT MONEY ON IT. You knowā€¦. I never would have seen the movie without all of these ā€œmemesā€(unfunny shitposts). I would have been a MUCH HAPPIER PERSON. So fuck your ā€œMORBIUSā€ your ā€œmighty morbin more morbs morbidly MORBIUS BULLSHITā€ NO ONE CARES, YOU ARENT FUNNY. Does not a singular human being have any independent thought anymore???? ā€œMorb morb morb morbā€ youā€™re like a BUNCH OF SEAGULLS. SEA GULLS. What the FUCK does ā€œmorbinā€ even mean????? ITS NOT A WORD. ITS JUST GOBBLE GOOP. I feel like I am the last truly sentient human being on earth. IM BEING DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. TAKE YOUR MORBIUS BULLSHIT, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, AND GO OUTSIDE. Maybe if you went outside you could get ā€œmorbā€ bitches on your dick??!!! YOU LIKE THAT, YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE REDUCED ME INTO. I am a shell of a man and all of you collectively are to blame.This meme has spread like a debilitating illness AND I CANT GET AWAY FROM IT. THE FALL OF WESTERN SOCIETY IS HERE AND THIS COMPLETE UNFUNNY DRIBBLE OF A MEME IS PART OF THE PROBLEM. WHAT THE FUCK DOES ā€œgETtiNg MoRBedā€ EVEN MEAN. it makes ZERO SENSE. ITS JUST GIBBERISH. FUCKING GIBB ER ISH. ITS NOT FUNNY. Saying ā€œmorbā€ LIKE ITS ITS OWN PUNCHLINE IS NOT COMEDY. IT IS COMEDIC AND CULTURAL DEGRADATION. Are we really so stunted as a generation that even the mention of any word that starts with m-o-r-b is FUNNY??? IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE. Is it funny because it isnā€™t funny because praising something bad is now good??????? HOW MANY LAYERS OF IRONY DO WE NEED. HOW FAR DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO. This website has stripped me of EVERY LAST BRAINCELL. GOING ON REDDIT FEELS LIKE IM GETTING A SUPER HERO INDUCED LOBOTOMY. I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT. I know Iā€™m just going to get FLOODED WITH ā€œget morbed, this guy got morbed, what morb does to a manā€ HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHQHQHAHAHAHAHAHWHHSHWBSQIISHWINSIQKSBDD SSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY AGAGAGGAGHHHHHHHHH
July 2022

Morbius

Shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets

twitchquotes: Pedestrian: i want to give a shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Hey what's up kripp, it's jeremy your neighbor!

twitchquotes: Hey what's up kripp, it's jeremy your neighbor! I see you're in the office again and playing animated poker - hope everythings well with the wife and garden. Say that lawnmower you borrowed last month; I was wondering when I could expect that back because I noticed your lawn was trimmed no less than three weeks ago but you have yet to bring back my mower. Anyhow , could use that mower. Just checking in but it would be great if I could get that mower back. Thanks again.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp
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