twitchquotes:
Quarantine? More like quaran time 🕋🕋🕌👏 may allah bless you
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What happened to this ad? :(
More COVID Copypastas
Lord Microsoft
10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington.
A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine.
"Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside.
Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out.
The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground.
"This is the last one?" the figure asks.
"Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for."
The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger.
"Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-"
"Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!"
The guards grab the man, hoisting him up.
"Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection.
"Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse."
The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain.
He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale.
"How may I serve you, my lord."
COVID
Coronavirus
⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites!!!! don't be tricked like me!!
So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!
Coronavirus
COVID
Vaccines
Will you be my Quaran-TINE?
twitchquotes:
Dear Streamer, please forgive my fever and the coughing of my lungs. Ever since I first entered stream I fell for the way you entertained and captivated the chat. I adored the way you practiced social distancing, responsibly purchased toilet paper, and wore a mask at all times. It is so contagious! Everything that I have witnessed has made my body ache for your pathogens. As your simping loyal petri dish, will you be my Quaran-TINE?
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Simps
Coronavirus
COVID
Only three more COVID variants until Sigma
MASKS UP😷 AND TITS OUT💯👏🙌ONLY THREE MORE COVID🦠VARIANTS🤤UNTIL SIGMA ΣΣ😩 You know what that means you 🅱OOSTED💉SLUTS👅👀 It’s time to get on that COVID Grindset™ before you get 🤯infected🍆🍆🍆by the SUPERIOR😤variant‼‼ The sixth 6️⃣wave🌊👋 is CUMMING💦💦📈🅱eta males at the bottom😓👇of the corona🍺sexual🥵 hierarchy 🏆 should ☠prepare to get FUCKED🍑🍆this time⌛ by the extra👌large🤪spike👆protein mutation☢🤤😫 Send this to 1️⃣9️⃣ of your most IMMUNO⛔COMPROMISED🚫😨😨 friends💩otherwise😳there will be💀 another VERY long📏🍆LOCK🔐DOWN🙈‼‼
Emoji Pasta
Coronavirus
COVID
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.