[Copypasta] Please mod me I'm your mother

twitchquotes: Hey [insert streamer name] it's me. Your actual fucking MOTHER. I basically modded you throughout childhood so you might as well give me mod now. if you don't mod me you're basically calling yourself a failure as a human being. Make me proud of you.
twitch chat
March 2020
I used to be a real ad
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I'd shoot Reynad twice

twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS

twitchquotes: Greetings Kripp, it is I, John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS. It has come to my attention that children are using my invention for malicious reasons. Please send me your address, phone number, credit card and social security numbers so I can help you fix this problem.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022

I like turtles

twitchquotes: I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, β€œHey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

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ascii art
November 2014
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