[Copypasta] Guys please be careful before posting

twitchquotes: Guys please be careful before posting, I see some messages posted multiple times by mistake this is actually very annoying and cringe, read chat first to make sure your message wasn't already posted :D
twitch chat
February 2020
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Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Just taking Reynad for a walk

twitchquotes: ╭( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲_____ PJSalt Oh, don't mind me, just taking Reynad for a walk.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Classic

salty

Biden transplants his brain into the United States' neural network database

thats very true. if you vote trump, there is no nuance in that little flipping nugget of a brain of yours. you are a simpleton, comparable to the gum stuck on the heel of my shoe- dirtying an institution which needs to be scraped clean. thankfully, your time has come. the antics end with joe biden, who has squandered the far-right and united a nation, and once he transplants his beautiful old slimy man brain into the United States' neural network database (which is encrypted and connected to the internet, along with google's whole database, so yes, he WILL know what you're doing) we can finally live in a safe country.
July 2022

Politics

Joe Biden

Donald Trump

Fruit towers

twitchquotes: 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑
twitch chat
August 2018

Come Down Kid (in Farsi)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠋⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢻⣿⠋⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⠏⢻⣿ ⣿⡇⠸⠿⠏⠻⠿⠆⢸⣿⣿⡟⠰⠆⠘⠷⠴⠖⠂⠀⠴⠿⠇⢸⣿ ⣿⣧⣀⣀⣠⣄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣷⣤⣶⣀⣀⣀⣤⣼⣄⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⣙⣿⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣩⣹⣿⣿⣋⣻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⡇⠀⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⡟⢿⣿⠛⣿⣧⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⣅⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠙⠛⠛⠁⣸⡟⠿⠿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡟⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
December 2021
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