[Copypasta] It's fucking astonishing Resident Evil was a successful franchise

twitchquotes: It's fucking astonishing Resident Evil was a successful franchise. Most of the series is mediocre or terrible. Out of the entire series 1/2/3/4/REmake/RER2 are classics. 5/7/Revelations 2 are really good. Revelations and the Outbreaks are cool. The rest are middling to trash. That includes all 3 Gun Survivor Games, Operation Raccoon City and Umbrella Corps, RE6, Resident Evil Gaiden, Code Veronica, Zero, and both Chronicles games. Plus all the phone garbage and the terrible films. Something having Resident Evil on it is like a 50/50 shot for quality.
twitch chat
February 2020
From this tweet: https://twitter.com/PatStaresAt/status/1221800799526883328
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021

Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!!! The fate of Earth depends on YOU! When you ignored chat and didn't place the kitty on your lap and pet it, it lead to a global economic crash and all out nuclear war!! For the love of humanity put the damn kitty in your lap now and pet it like our lives depend on it!!!!! Sincerely , Future Kripp
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

LULW

⢸⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠄⢀⣀⣉⣉⣛⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⠄⣴⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣻⣿ ⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⢛⢉⣉⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣁⡀⢙⣛⠛⠉⢙⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣷⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠤⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⣈⣀⣀⢀⣀⠹⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠉⠄⠄⠐⠛⢻⣻⣿⣟⡛⠛⡿⠷⠿⠄⠈⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⡿⢶⢤⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⢰⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣠⣤⣿⣶⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⣿⠿⠛⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠛⠁⠄⠈⠁⣏
ascii art
September 2019

Hot anime girl

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡴⠋⠀⠀⣸⣩⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠁⢠⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⡞⣁⣄⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⡙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢸⠇⠉⠙⠒⣾⠋⠀⠀⠃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡎⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⣼⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢻⣿⣷⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⢎⡄⠀⢠⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠿⣯⣍⠉⠁⣠⣤⣌⣿⣿⣾⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⢽⣿⣿⡄⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠋⠀⢈⣿⣿⣟⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠃⠉⠀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⣆⣠⡆⢀⠀⡄⢠⡆⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠈⠉⠂⠸⣄⡻⠞⢹⣿⣿⡟⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⢤⣄⣈⣃⣰⠃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⡀⠑⠭⢝⣩⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡿⠳⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⣧⡀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⢿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠹⡼⣿⠦⣄⣙⡿⢿⣿⣇⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠆⣿⡊⠳⣄⠉⠁⢀⠙⣟⡟⢓⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢷⣄⠂⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⣱⢛⡷⣦⣀⡑⣼⣞⣷⣷⣽⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠈⣿⢹⣲⣾⣿⣿⡙⣽⢿⣽⣯⢺⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣿⡜⣼⣿⣿⣷⡷⣝⣼⣿⣯⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⢿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣷⣿⣿⣕⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣟⣦⣗⣟⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⡝⣻⣿⠏⣩⡾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣵⠟⢷⡲⢆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢤⣣⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡴⠋⠀⠀⠈⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡟⢞⣽⠋⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡿⣟⡾⠁⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣯⣿⣿⣿⢋⣼⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣀⠀⢹⣿⣹⣿⡗⣼⢁⡤⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⣸⢲⣎⣍⣹⡷⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣏⠉⢹⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡄⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
May 2021

Weebs

NSFW

Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing