[Copypasta] It's fucking astonishing Resident Evil was a successful franchise

twitchquotes: It's fucking astonishing Resident Evil was a successful franchise. Most of the series is mediocre or terrible. Out of the entire series 1/2/3/4/REmake/RER2 are classics. 5/7/Revelations 2 are really good. Revelations and the Outbreaks are cool. The rest are middling to trash. That includes all 3 Gun Survivor Games, Operation Raccoon City and Umbrella Corps, RE6, Resident Evil Gaiden, Code Veronica, Zero, and both Chronicles games. Plus all the phone garbage and the terrible films. Something having Resident Evil on it is like a 50/50 shot for quality.
twitch chat
February 2020
From this tweet: https://twitter.com/PatStaresAt/status/1221800799526883328
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024

Having to call a judge “your honor” is so cringey (found on /r/unpopularopinion)

“Your Honor”. I mean gimmie a fuckin’ break, dude. What else do you want me to call you? Your highness? Do you want me to fondle your nuts while I blow you, too? I’ve seriously seen courtrooms where they’ll say “Sir” and the judge will be like “It’s “Your Honor” young man!!” Fuck off. How much of an egotist you gotta be to care about some medieval-ass title? Use “Sir” like everybody else. It’s some LARPING I’d expect kids to do. “Oh Billy you have to call me supreme ruler snorlax the magical wizard!!1!” Shut up. EDIT: I’m literally 22 and have never been in front of a judge, y’all, please relax and slow down with the theory crafting/ story writing. EDIT 2: A lot of people are saying “it’s just a title, like Doctor!”. Judges have a title like “Doctor”, it’s called “Judge” - Doctors don’t expect us to call them “Thy Healer” or some crap like that.
August 2021

Cybrix and Head Chef of Dominos

twitchquotes: OpieOP OpieOP　Ｈｅｌｌｏ　Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ，　ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｔｈｅ　Ｈｅａｄ　Ｃｈｅｆ　ｏｆ　Ｄｏｍｉｎｏｓ™　ｗｅ　ｈａｖｅ　ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ　ｏｒｄｅｒｅｄ　ｆｏｒ　２　ｄａｙｓ，　ｗｅ’ｒｅ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｓｅｅ　ｉｆ　ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ　ｉｓ　ｏｋａｙ　ａｎｄ　ｗｅ’ｖｅ　ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　ａ　ｃｏｍｐｌｅｍｅｎｔａｒｙ　ｐｉｚｚａ　ｏｆ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｆａｖｏｕｒｉｔｅ　ｔｙｐｅ　（ＸＸＬ　ａｌｌ－ｔｏｐｐｉｎｇｓ　ｐｉｚｚａ－ｔｏｐｐｅｄ　ｐｉｚｚａ　ｐｉｚｚａ－ｓｔｕｆｆｅｄ　ｐｉｚｚａ　ｃｒｕｓｔ）．　Ｓｅｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｓｏｏｎ！　OpieOP OpieOP
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Slow mode, r9k mode, and randomly banning people, good job mods

twitchquotes: Boy, the mods in this channel have really done a bang-up job. When I first got here it was all cappuccino pasterino, but now that they're using slow mode, r9k and randomly banning people, we can finally have a productive chat without all the IDIOTS. Thank you, mods.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Twitch Chat containment solution

twitchquotes: International efforts to contain the most toxic and dangerous internet dwellers have failed time and time again, until a secret organisation offered to build a prison for internet's worst scum. The project codenamed "Twitch Chat" pretending to be an addition to a livestreaming service has proven to be a very effective containment solution.
twitch chat
January 2019
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