[Copypasta] I apologize, as my English is rather substandard

twitchquotes: I apologize, as my English is rather substandard At what whereabouts were you when the popular browser video game Club Penguin shut down? I was in mine place of residence, when my communications device informed me that someone wanted to contact me. "Club Penguin, the popular browser MMO has shut down." "I disagree"
twitch chat
January 2020
Variation of this copypasta: https://www.twitchquotes.com/copypastas/3256
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I can't wait for you to be our new maid

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie is Reginald Dinh here. I'm messaging to offer you a spot on my team. I think you'd fill the role very well, to be honest I don't know anyone in the scene who is better equipped. I can't wait for you to be our new maid.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Dear Twitch Partners, Our community members are always our priority

twitchquotes: Dear πŸ‘‹ Twitch Partners 🀝 , Our πŸ‘‰ community members πŸ‘ͺ are always β˜‘οΈ our priority πŸ›‘. We received πŸ“₯ some reports ❗ describing ⌨️ the discomfort ☹️ some of our members πŸ—£οΈ felt after a Twitch Rivals 🀼 participant used "KE*W" and "mo*kaS," 😢 both emotes are often ⏲️ used in toxic πŸ’€ contexts. Please πŸ™ refrain from using such emotes, and use KEKHeim & CaitlynS instead πŸ‘. Best regards πŸ‘‹, Twitch Team πŸ’Œ
twitch chat
November 2021

Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019

bears are fuk

I hate people saying bears are fuk or bulls are fuk. Stop saying that. It's very rude. Just say bears are fuk
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I am Bamalama Shmamahdu, from the Congo

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, I am Bamalama Shmamahdu, from the Congo. We regret to inform you that your shipment of child solders may be a bit late this month due to a shipping error. We are very sorry for this inconvenience, and you will receive AIDS, free of charge as our way of saying sorry.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad
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