[Copypasta] I apologize, as my English is rather substandard

twitchquotes: I apologize, as my English is rather substandard At what whereabouts were you when the popular browser video game Club Penguin shut down? I was in mine place of residence, when my communications device informed me that someone wanted to contact me. "Club Penguin, the popular browser MMO has shut down." "I disagree"
twitch chat
January 2020
Variation of this copypasta: https://www.twitchquotes.com/copypastas/3256
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Roleplay as a tournament organizer

twitchquotes: (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ) Hi Amaz, could you roleplay as a tournament organizer, but then get caught re-seeding your friends and pretend that your tournament is legit? Thanks (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ)
twitch chat
March 2015
Amaz

Hearthstone

This is the Vegan Police

twitchquotes: (โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ) This is the Vegan Police. We have reason to suspect the food you just ate was not entirely Vegan. Please prepare a stool sample promptly. (โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Muffet from Undertale

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
March 2016

You will never be an anime girl

You will never be an anime girl. You have no ancestry, you have no weebship, you have no skills that would make neon Tokyo ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating nerdy man twisted by delusions of mythical Katana superiority and exposure to media folded over 3000 times into a disgusting mockery of metalworkings perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a the globally useless talents of Uwudo and Iya-giri to a ไธญไบŒ level was a worthwhile ไฝฟใ„ๆ–น of ใŠๅ‰'s time, but one can't expect that an individual as ็พž่€ป as ใƒ†ใƒก will ever know the value of the ไปฒ้–“ you threw away in doing that. Actual Sasukes are ใ™ใ”ใ„ ใ‚ญใƒขใ„ by you. Thousands of years of ่‡ช็„ถ้€ฒๅŒ– have allowed ไพ to identify ๅฝ็‰ฉ่ชž from mannerisms and ่จ€่ชžๅŠ› alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a ้‡Ž่‰ฏ็Šฌ somehow passes as normal (ใ—ใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ€ใฉ้˜ฟๅ‘†), any Soul Eater person will immediately ไธกๆ–ญใ€€all ่ฟทใ„ใ€€when they ่žใ the ๅฃฐ and ๅบƒๅณถ-ben of someone who is not only a basic ไธ‹ๅฟ at best, but worth no more than ใ‚ดใƒŸใ‚ซใ‚น in skills, accomplishments, and no ใƒฏใ‚คใƒ• yes ใƒ•ใƒฌใƒณใƒ‰. You will never be ๅนธใ›ใŠใกใ‚ƒใ‚ๆฉŸ่ƒฝใ€‚ You wrench out a ๅฝ็ฌ‘ใ„ and ๏ฝ—๏ฝ—๏ฝ—่‰ to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own ่ˆน้•ท, as you project your disgusting traits onto your ๅง”ๅ“ก้•ท. However, deep inside you feel the ไธๅฎ‰ creeping up like a ๆกœ, ready to crush you under the ใƒใ‚นใƒˆ2ไธ‰ไธ€ใ€€Zzใ€€ใ‚ฌใƒณใƒ€ใƒ , and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new ใƒชใ‚นใƒŠใƒผ in which to be ็„ก่ฆ–, and not even the exotic trait of beingใ€€ๆตทๅค–ใƒ‹ใƒƒใ‚ญ makes up for just how uninteresting of a ็„ก่จ€่ตคใ‚นใƒ‘ you are. Eventually itโ€™ll be too much to bear - youโ€™ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold ใฏใ‚ใกใ‚ƒใพ. Your ใƒžใƒž will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearableใ€€ๆฅใ–ใ‚‰ใ— and ใ‚ดใƒŸใ‚ซใ‚นๆญปใญ. Theyโ€™ll bury you with a ๅฆ–ๆ€ช marked with your ้ ˜ๅŸŸๅฑ•้–‹, and every ไธŠๅผฆใฎ้ฌผ for the rest of eternity will know a ้ป’่ˆน is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a ใ‚ฎใƒซใ‚ถใƒฌใƒณ that is ่ชžใ‚Š้ƒจๅนฝ้œŠ. This is your ้‹ๅ‘ฝ. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. ๆ†Žใ„ yourself and ่ฌใ‚Œ for being ใƒชใ‚ขๅ…… to some Virtual entity that exists only in your mind while actual people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
April 2021

Reynad shows us how to throw a game of Hearthstone

twitchquotes: (โŒ อกโ–ข อœส– อกโ–ข) Now watch closely Twitch Chat as Reynad shows us how to throw a game of Hearthstone. (โŒ อกโ–ข อœส– อกโ–ข)
twitch chat
July 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

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