[Copypasta] I apologize, as my English is rather substandard

twitchquotes: I apologize, as my English is rather substandard At what whereabouts were you when the popular browser video game Club Penguin shut down? I was in mine place of residence, when my communications device informed me that someone wanted to contact me. "Club Penguin, the popular browser MMO has shut down." "I disagree"
twitch chat
January 2020
Variation of this copypasta: https://www.twitchquotes.com/copypastas/3256
What happened to this ad? :(
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Not funny I didn't laugh

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt
September 2019

Classic

Arrested for Navy Seal copypasta

I've mentioned this a lot before, but one of my best friends from back home was arrested, jailed for three months, and sentenced to 2 years probation for sending someone the Navy Seal copypasta on Facebook. As of today, he is FINALLY legally allowed to be online again.
February 2019

Navy Seal

Don't copy paste the name when you copy paste

twitchquotes: Devlinate: Kaiser_HS: snny_: DONT COPY PASTE THE NAME WHEN U COPY PASTE FailFish
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

You've seen Miku on stage, but what about your wrist?

Youโ€™ve ๐Ÿ“ก๐Ÿ‘จ seen ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘ค๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿป Miku on ๐Ÿ”› stage, 4๏ธโƒฃ๐Ÿ’– but ๐Ÿ˜  what ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ about ๐Ÿฅด your ๐Ÿ‘‰ wrist? โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ Wrist โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ World ๐ŸŒ is an AR game ๐ŸŽฏ using ๐Ÿ˜ wristbands, now ๐Ÿซ‚ featuring Hatsune Miku! Collect songs, dances, and even โœ‹ save ๐ŸฆŽ the world! ๐ŸŒ Do ๐Ÿ‘€ You ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘ฆ Wrist โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ World? ๐ŸŒŽ wrist โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ world ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒŽ๐ŸŒ
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

I identify as a meme

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a meme. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being uploaded onto the imgur website and linked into the reddit threads. People say to me that a person being a meme is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a computer scientist put my brain into my computer like johnny depp in transendence, equipping me with the dankest of pictures from the internet. From now on I want you guys to call me "Sir Danks-a-lot" and respect my right to meme from above and meme needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a memephobe and need to check your internet privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
January 2015

I sexually Identify as

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