[Copypasta] A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015
I used to be a real ad
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All becoming better than Kripp

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｍｉｓｐｌａｙ, Ｉ ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｓｈｏｗ ｈｉｍ ｍｙ ｋｎｏｗｌｅｄｇｅ. Ｉ Ｃｒｉｔｉｃｉｚｅ ｈｉｓ ｇａｍｉｎｇ ａｂｉｌｉｔｉｅｓ ａｎｄ ｃａｌｌ ｈｉｍ ｔｈｅ ｎｏｏｂ. ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｂｅｔｔｅｒ ｔｈａｎ ｋｒｉｐｐ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

HYDRA SUMMONING SPELL

twitchquotes: THIS IS THE SUMMONING SPELL HandsUp FOR THE HYDRA DEEK OF HELL HandsUp ONE WEEB MUST BE SACRIFICED HandsUp FOR THE HYDRA DEEK TO RISE HandsUp OH MIGHTY HYDRA I SING YOUR SONG HandsUp MAY YOU GROW BIG AND LONG HandsUp
twitch chat
April 2021

My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019

As Quinn finished her drink, she was overcome with sadness

twitchquotes: As Quinn finished her drink, she was overcome with sadness. "Valor, I get this feeling that QT won't ever play with us again." The bartender turned around. "Here's a drink on the house," said Urgot. "I know the feeling."
twitch chat
July 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I cannot wait to see RED BULL BARON POWER PLAY

twitchquotes: I cannot wait to see RED BULL BARON POWER PLAY, after they won the GRUB HUB teamfight. Maybe they can get those HONDA turrets, too! After they win the game, I can go tweet to get on their VERIZON all chat during the STATE FARM analyst desk
twitch chat
June 2021
LCS

League of Legends

sellout

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