[Copypasta] A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle

twitchquotes: I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them...the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
twitch chat
April 2020

Nice opinion, but it's wrong

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom. You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you. Humanity will punish you. supernatural beings will punish you. Space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
January 2022

Hi David, this is Akali's daughter

twitchquotes: Hi David, this is Akali's daughter. I noticed you have been picking my mom for your team in gym class. i have been having a really tough time since she left home, and it doesn’t make it easy on me when you reroll and say "i guess we're going assasins.“ I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if your mom left you to go carry an old man. Akali is just a poor single mom that is overworked to death. Why don’t you try being a little more exclusive.
twitch chat
July 2019
dogdog

Teamfight Tactics

Sometimes I sit alone in my bathroom with the light off and pretend to be you

twitchquotes: Kripp if you're here right now reading this I want you to know I dream of you. Sometimes I sit alone in my bathroom with the light off and pretend to be you. I'll say things like "hey guys how's it goin' Kripparrian here", and for a brief moment I feel you inside me...
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr

twitchquotes: Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr (2000+) FailFish keep chat high quality
twitch chat
June 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing