[Copypasta] A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015
What happened to this ad? :(
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forsenStein

⡄⢿⣿⣿⠏⣼⣿⡇⣴⣿⡆⣿⢰⣿⢀⣾⡇⢀⣿⣿⠄⣠⣿⠄⣼⢟⣴⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣦⣛⡫⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣼⢯⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠟⠟⡠⢤⣀⡀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣌⣱⢦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣹⠿⠿⣫⣿⠁ ⣤⣤⣸⢟⣉⡙⢻⠦⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣯⣶⣆⣀⣠⣤⣄⣀⣈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴ ⣿⣿⣬⡿⢦⣤⠿⡛⢤⠄⣿⣿⣣⣼⡿⠟⢁⡀⡀⠄⠉⠛⠿⠿⡆⣦⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢉⣰⡟⣸⣿⢡⣯⣍⣉⢭⣍⡳⠤⠴⢆⣤⢀⣿⡭⠍⠟⡫⢙⡿ ⣿⣿⣿⣥⣤⣾⣿⢏⣴⣿⣿⡎⣯⣽⣭⣻⣦⣩⣈⠭⠿⢻⠯⣊⣴⠭⣵⣿⣶⣶ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⠸⠿⣿⠏⣈⣭⣹⣯⣷⣟⣻⡽⣿⣾⣽⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣼⠟⠋⠁⠒⠻⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⢺⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣛⣥⠄⠒⣒⣒⣒⠓⠒⠚⣻⣟⠲⣤⠄⢹⣮⣙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⡳⢭⡭⢿⣽⠛⠙⠧⢭⣤⡤⢽⣦⣿⣿⣷⡝⠛⠛⠉⠄⣰⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡿⣿⣿⣶⡍⠉⠋⠛⣛⣛⣛⣭⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣣⠄⢠⣶⣾⣿⡟ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠉⠙⣛⣯⣾⣿⣶⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄ ⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

When I use this text, my brain cell begin to die

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎ ｉ ｕｓｅ ｔｈｉｓ ｔｅｘｔ， ｍｙ ｂｒａｉｎ ｃｅｌｌ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｂｅｇｉｎ ｔｏ ｄｉｅ． ｙｅｔ ｉ ｃｏｎｔｉｎｕｅ ｔｏ ｃｏｐｙｐａｓｔａ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｉ ｃｏｎｔｒｉｂｕｔｅ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｉｎｔｅｒｎｅｔ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｒｅｔａｒｄ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

Classic

But I believe Tyler1 can save the world

twitchquotes: Long ago, the five positions lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Riot Balance Team attacked. Only the Alpha, master of all five positions, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he got banned. Two years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Alpha, a Draven main named Tyler1, and although his Draven skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe Tyler1 can save the world...
twitch chat
October 2018

Rob from the Romanian sausage truck

twitchquotes: Hey "Kripp!" It's me -- Rob from the Romanian sausage truck. I haven't seen you come by in a while! My friend told me you were a famous gamer, so I searched for you online. I honestly had no idea! Thanks for the shout-out. Keep rocking, and come by for a sausage if you have the chance. I'd love to see you again.
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp
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