[Copypasta] Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Octavian, this is Brian Weiss with Grinding Gear Games

twitchquotes: Octavian, this is Brian Weiss with Grinding Gear Games. We understand there was an issue with our last financial restructuring that inadvertently canceled the auto-pay into your account. We've gone ahead and rectified the issue, as well as forwarding an additional 10% as an apology. We look forward to your updated commentary regarding our latest content expansion for Path of Exile.
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

sellout

PepeLaugh

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠤⠐⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠒⠬⡣⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠤⠤⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢀⡒⠤⠭⠅⠚⣓⡆⡆⣔⡙⠓⠚⠛⠄⣹⠿⣿ ⣿⠟⠁⡌⠄⠄⠄⢀⠤⠬⠐⣈⠠⡤⠤⠤⣤⠤⢄⡉⢁⣀⣠⣤⣤⣀⣐⡖⢦⣽ ⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⡿⠛⠯⠍⠭⣉⣉⠉⠍⢀⢀⡀⠉⠉⠉⠒⠒⠂⠄⣻ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠩⠵⠒⠒⠲⢒⡢⡉⠁⢐⡀⠬⠍⠁⢉⣉⣴⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢉⣒⡉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠉⠂⠙⣉⣁⣀⣙⡿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⡖⢉⠥⢤⠐⢲⠒⢲⠒⢲⠒⠲⡒⠒⡖⢲⠂⠄⢀⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢆⡑⢄⠳⢾⠒⢺⠒⢺⠒⠚⡖⠄⡏⠉⣞⠞⠁⣠⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢆⠄⠄⠄⠈⠢⠉⠢⠍⣘⣒⣚⣒⣚⣒⣒⣉⠡⠤⣔⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⠷⣤⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠉⠐⠢⠭⠄⢀⣒⣒⡒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡠⠶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2018

Pepe

What is trolling?

twitchquotes: Trolling - the mental disorder of being in-denial while not having to admit that they're truly lonely and in need of desperate attention while also being under the influence of being sarcastic and in most cases just idiotic. Trolling is also represented by just typing the Kappa emote. Kappa Pls copypaste to spread awareness Kappa
twitch chat
May 2015
imaqtpie

UNLEASHING THE BANHAMMER

twitchquotes: RUN GUYS! HE IS UNLEASHING THE BANHAMMER! ᕕKappaᕗ ᕕKappaᕗ ᕕKappaᕗ ᕕKappaᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife? Okay, little background. My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald. My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through. Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation. My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole. What do you think?
April 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Will Smith Slap

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