[Copypasta] Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019
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I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021

If Mr. Beast was in charge of Squid Game.

Today I took 456 of the most poor and destitute people of Korea ( who are also of my subscribers ) and challenged them to a series of 6 EPIC kids games and the prize is 45.6 billion won. What they don't know is if they lose they die. If you end up liking the video please smash like. But first I have to talk about this episodes sponsor Honey. Honey is a free browser add on available on Google, Opera, Firefox, Safari, if it’s a browser it has Honey. Honey automatically saves you money when you checkout on sites Like Amazon. Papa John's. Kohl's. Wherever you shop it's a good chance that honey can save you money. All you have to do when you're checking out at these major sites click that little orange button and it will scan the entire internet And find discount codes for you. It takes two clicks to install Honey. Now anytime you checkout honey will scan the entire internet and find coupon codes for you. If there is a coupon code they will find it, and if there’s not a coupon code you can rest assured that you are getting the best price possible and there literally is not one available on the internet. If you install Honey right now you can save like 50 to 100 dollars on your Christmas shopping, doing nothing. There’s literally no reason not to install Honey, it takes two clicks, 10 million people use it, 100,000 5 star reviews, unless you hate money you should install Honey. If you want to install it just go to joinhoney.com/mrbeast, that’s joinhoney.com/mrbeast Now with that out of the way, ON WITH THE VIDEO Ok so we just brought them in and put them in their beds and this is insane. We literally have more than 450 here and we're going to see than play some games, for a bunch of money. Remember that every single person here is also a subscriber, on top of being financially destitute. So if you want a chance to receive tons and tons of money, make sure you hit the subscribe button down below as you can get a chance to play for money. Ok boys, its time to wake them up. I want Chris, Karl, Chandler, Nolan and Tareq to go down there and tell them the rules of the game. Here take these pink jumpsuits masks and these guns and go explain the situation to the subscribers. Ok so while the boys are going down I'm going to show you guys the first game our contestants are going to be playing.
October 2021

Squid Game

Ahegao

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⠿⠿⣿⣿⣧⢓ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⢛⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣽⣋⠻⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣧⡠⣭⣭⣿⡧ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⡟⣿⢻⠃⣻⣨⣻⠿⡀⣝⡿⣿⣿⣷⣜⣜⢿⣝⡿⡻⢔ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡟⣷⢿⢈⣚⣓⡡⣻⣿⣶⣬⣛⣓⣉⡻⢿⣎⠢⠻⣴⡾⠫ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠃⢹⡼⢸⣿⣿⣿⣦⣹⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠷⣎⡼⠆⣿⠵⣫ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠸⡟⡜⣩⡄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⢀⢀⣿⣷⣿⣿⡐⡇⡄⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⢶⢻⣧⣖⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣇⡟⣇⣷⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣆⣤⣽⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣦⣴⡇⣿⢨⣾⣿⢹⢸ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠊⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⢱⢺⡇⡏⣿⣿⣸⡼ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡿⠄⣿⣷⣾⡍⣭⣶⣿⣿⡌⣼⣹⢱⠹⣿⣇⣧ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠁⣤⣭⣭⡌⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⢹⡇⣭⣤⣶⣤⡝⡼ ⠄⣀⠤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡏⣈⡻⡿⠃⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡼⠁⣿⣿⣿⡿⢷⢸ ⢰⣷⡧⡢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢠⡛⠿⠄⠠⠬⠿⣿⠭⠭⢱⣇⣀⣭⡅⠶⣾⣷⣶ ⠈⢿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡛⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠃⠄⠄⡜⠄⠄⣤⢀⣶⣮⡍⣴ ⠄⠈⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⢩⣝⠃⠄⠄⢀⡄⡎⠄⠄⠄⠇⠄⠄⠅⣴⣶⣶⠄⣶
ascii art
January 2021

Weebs

I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

twitchquotes: 𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓭. 𝓥𝓲𝓸𝓵𝓮𝓽𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓫𝓵𝓾𝓮. 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓷 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓯*𝓰𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓼𝓾𝓬𝓴 𝓶𝔂 𝓭*𝓬𝓴
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen
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