[Copypasta] Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Duck

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣩⣭⣶⣶⣮⣭⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⠄⠹⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠐⣠⡶⣶⣲⡎⢻⣿⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⣋⡥⡶⣞⡯⣟⣾⣺⢽⡧⣥⣭⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢻⣿ ⡃⣾⢯⢿⢽⣫⡯⣷⣳⢯⡯⠯⠷⠻⠞⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⣿ ⣦⣍⡙⠫⠛⠕⣋⡓⠭⣡⢶⠗⣡⣶⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣘⣛⣋⣡⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸
ascii art
December 2019

Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
December 2020

Saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.

Weird fact: the Easter Bunny was the source of a significant amount of theological debate during the 1200's, as Catholic philosophers debated why God would create a creature in a constant state of labor (and thus suffering). The Catholic Church ultimately resolved this question by declaring that the Easter Bunny orgasmed every time it laid it an egg (which it was doing constantly). This is now codified in Canon Law (the legal code of the Catholic Church and much of Europe in the pre-modern era) and saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.
April 2022

Holiday

Easter

Kripp's mods put Stalin to shame

twitchquotes: ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ Nᴏsᴛʀᴏᴠʏᴀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, Tʜɪs ɪs Cᴏᴍʀᴀᴅᴇ Sᴛᴀʟɪɴ ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ 1952. I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ I ᴡᴀs ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ Gʀᴇᴀᴛ Pᴜʀɢᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴘᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀᴍᴇ. I'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴄʀᴜɪᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ ʀᴜɴ ᴍʏ ɢᴜʟᴀɢs. Bᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ Rᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀɴ Dᴇᴀᴅ ☭ ☭☭ ☭
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

Porn scene fanfic

Cashier was at home until someone came to the door. He opened the door and a very cute girl selling girl scout cookies was there. "Do you want any cookies sir?", she asked him. Cashier asked, "is there any other way I could pay?" THEY FUCK
July 2022
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