[Copypasta] .future gens will sit down and listen to...

twitchquotes: people sit with their children, tell them memories about mario, zelda, half life , dark souls, god of war , silent hill, resident evil , metroid.....future gens will sit down and listen to tales of T-Posing, fortnite dances and frying pans in battle royal games....and teach their kids the carlton and listen to the back pack kid and his flossing song.....may god have mercy on us all...
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
May 2021

Hunters are compelled by a mysterious force to attack face

twitchquotes: After months of careful and thorough research, I have discovered that Hunters, quite literally, do NOT have the capacity to trade minions. They are physically unable to attack an opponents minion with one of theirs. They a compelled by some mysterious force to mindlessly attack the face of their opponent.
twitch chat
December 2014
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Bloomberg terminal vs toilet trading

Imagine spending 20K on a bloomberg terminal and thousands on hardware just to get smoke checked by some retards on the toilet trading on their phone that are not only on the spectrum but might be the actual spectrum.
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Feminist deck

twitchquotes: Kripp you should make a feminist deck with double equality and faceless manipulator (because all are equal), double stonetusk boar (because all men are swines) and a lot of beast synergy (because all men are animals). Thanks Kripp
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v2

It's Cinco de mayo... ๐Ÿ‘€๐ŸŒฎ๐ŸŽ‰ but all I want ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป is cinco DICKS ๐ŸŒฏ in my May-OUTH ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆ Today the SEXicans ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ beat the French ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท at the Battle of Puebla ๐Ÿ”ซโ˜  and now you're gonna get your piรฑata beat ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜ฉ with a huge stick ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐ŸŽ‰ but โ—๏ธONLYโ—๏ธ if you send ๐Ÿ“ฒ this to 5๏ธโƒฃ amigos ๐Ÿ‘ฌ you'd cross borders โžก๏ธ for ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’ฏ Get 5๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿ”™ and you'll find the Juan for you tonight โค๏ธโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜
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