[Copypasta] horses are grass engines

twitchquotes: the dopest thing about horses is that they're basically grass engines like, grass goes in, fast comes out most things that produce fast (like cheetahs and cars) use much more heavily processed grass, like horses, and oil an yet here horses are, producing the Fast with only the gras
twitch chat
September 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

ResidentSleeper pyramid

twitchquotes: only real ResidentSleeper er can build this perfect pyramid ResidentSleeper ResidentSleeper . Try like me !Try like me ! Try like me !! ResidentSleeper ResidentSleeper ResidentSleeper And my pyramid still higher!!!!!! ResidentSleeper ResidentSleeper ResidentSleeper ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
March 2019

Faeria created a strategy...

twitchquotes: Faeria created a strategy that revolved around sponsoring popular streamers without requiring any enjoyable gameplay. Trying to promote new and innovative games makes an overall stream more fun and compelling, but not bothering to explain the game and leaving the chat confused during the entire stream is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Do you know who I am? I am a 4.0 STEM Major

twitchquotes: Do you know who the fuck you're talking to right now? I'm a 4.0 STEM major with a full ride to a top ten university. I'm in the 97th percentile of IQ intelligence (the test wouldn't go any higher). I literally tip the scales with my intelligence. I am the furthest thing from a "twitch chat idiot".
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Pikachu

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–Œβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€
November 2014

Pokemon

Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing