[Copypasta] My average IQ after taking IQ tests...

twitchquotes: My average IQ after taking IQ tests from accredited psychologist is 134.5 ←Only 2% of the human population score that high. I'm very close to genius level IQ. You calling me stupid is like some one calling Albert Einstein stupid. Which makes one of us look stupid. Hint: Not me.
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Romanian Salt Baron

twitchquotes: POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

Arrogant globaphopic

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender atheist who vapes and crossfits 4 times a week and im also a male feminist as I identify myself as a pastafarian apache helicopter dog mega multi combo god of hyper death and if you dont agree with me. You're an ignorant arrogant globaphobic sexist lesbian
twitch chat
May 2016

Hello Mr. Morosan! This is the salt truck driver

twitchquotes: ༼ ͠• ل͜ • ༽ ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴍʀ. ᴍᴏʀᴏsᴀɴ! ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴛ-ᴛʀᴜᴄᴋ-ᴅʀɪᴠᴇʀ. ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴏꜰ 69 ᴛᴏɴs ᴏꜰ ᴩᴜʀᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴍᴏᴜs sᴀʟᴛᴍɪɴᴇ "üʙᴇʀᴋäᴋᴇɴᴋᴏᴛᴢɴ" ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟᴩs. ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ sᴀʟᴛ, ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ! ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ sɪʀ! ༼ ͠• ل͜ • ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

It seems you've tarried Mrump

twitchquotes: Do you take Rania to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asks the priest. Kripp smiles as he slips the ring on her finger. "Yes I do," he says, squinting in the glare of a foggy day. The priest says, "You may kiss the bride." as the crowd cheers. Kripp lifts Rania's veil and recoils in horror. Trump smirks, "It seems you've tarried Mrump."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a trollface cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing a trollface mask and black morph suit. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as your mother (after I have sexual intercourse with her) and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made me feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my morph suit. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Cover yourself in oil." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "You mad bro?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "We do a little trolling!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'm still Trollface."
September 2021

NSFW

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