[Copypasta] My average IQ after taking IQ tests...

twitchquotes: My average IQ after taking IQ tests from accredited psychologist is 134.5 ←Only 2% of the human population score that high. I'm very close to genius level IQ. You calling me stupid is like some one calling Albert Einstein stupid. Which makes one of us look stupid. Hint: Not me.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
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I hate taking shits

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting
April 2022

Jared thought he was back with the crew

twitchquotes: Jared, jumping for joy at the site of an easy victory with QT thought he was back with the crew. Little did he know QT was devising a cunning plan to demote Jared back to Diamond 3. Boom, like a shot in the dark, an instant 4 man surrender stole the wind right out of Jared. Jared glanced over to his 9mm, knowing one day he will have his chance to right these wrongs.
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Kidnapped and put into a donger concentration camp

twitchquotes: helo my name is dongerino pasterino ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ, i am 69 year old donger from imaqtmeatloaf's stream . 420 years ago i was kidnapped and put into a donger concentration camp for 9001 years. 1 year ago, imaqtlasagne and imaqtpie invaded the camp and rescued me. now i work as teacherino, passing down the wisdom of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to young dongers.
twitch chat
October 2014
Riot Games

AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??

I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not. When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids? Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around. She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money. What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says “I kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me. The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife? Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.
August 2021

AITA

7 goals and only 2 nets

twitchquotes: HOW CAN GERMANY SCORE 7 GOALS WHEN THERE ARE ONLY 2 NETS IN THE FIELD?
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
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