[Copypasta] My name is Van, I'm an artist

twitchquotes: My name is Van, I'm an artist, I'm a performance artist. I'm hired to people to fulfill their fantasies, their deep dark fantasies. I was gonna be a movie star y'know, modeling and acting. After a hundred and two additions and small parts I decided y'know I had enough, Then I got in to Escort world. The client requests contain a lot of fetishes, so I just decided to go y'know... full ♂Master♂ and change my entire house into a dungeon... ♂Dungeon♂Master♂ now with a full dungeon in my house and It's going really well. Fisting is 300 bucks and usually the guy is pretty much hard on pop to get really relaxed y'know and I have this long latex glove that goes all the way up to my armpit and then I put on a surgical latex glove up to my wrist and just lube it up and it's a long process y'know to get your whole arm up there but it's an intense feeling for the other person I think for myself too, you go in places that even though it's physical with your hand but for some reason it's also more emotional it's more psychological too and we both get you know to the same place it's really strange at the same time and I find sessions like that really exhausting. I don't know I feel kinda naked because I am looking at myself for the first time, well not myself but this aspect of my life for the first time and it's been harsh... three to five years already? I never thought about it... Kinda sad I feel kinda sad right now, I don't know why
twitch chat
August 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Cybrix and the Head Chef of Dominos

twitchquotes: Hello Cybrix, this is the Head Chef of Dominos™ we have noticed you haven’t ordered for 2 days, we’re just checking to see if everything is okay and we’ve prepared you a complementary pizza of your favourite type (XXL all-toppings pizza-topped pizza pizza-stuffed pizza crust). See you soon!
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018

MLK day emojipasta

heyyy 👋 Marthin Luther QUEENS 👯‍♀️ i have a dream 😴 🛌 that you will be dicked 🍆 down ⬇️ tonight like DADDY 👨🏿‍🦳 Martin Luther King Jr. would have wanted 😌✊🏿 so MARCH 🚶‍♀️ on down ⬇️ to his washington monument 🇺🇸 and have a SIT IN 🧎‍♀️ on that DICK 🍆🍆 Make sure to ABOLISH his KKKOCK 🗽 like a TRUE PATRIOT 🗽 segregate those cheeks 🍑 tonight it doesn’t matter 🙅‍♀️ if his fountain 🍆💦 is BLACK or WHITE 🤝 we are all CUMRADES 💦💦 in the fight against discrimination 😍 SOAK those PANTIFA 🩲 our TWERK is not over ‼️ SEND this 📤 to ✌️ every WOKE HOE 🤯 you know 🆘 Get 2️⃣0️⃣ BACK to END racism ✊ and UNITE the races in SEXUAL 👉👌 HARMONY ☮️
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

MLK Day

You ACTUALLY consider yourself to be a TRUE hip hop fan?!

You ACTUALLY consider yourself to be a TRUE hip hop fan?!? HA! Let me guess, you listen to basic trap trash like Lil Baby, Gunna, Trippie Redd, DaBaby, Roddy Rich, Young Thug, Travis Scott, A$AP Rocky, Kanye West, Lil Uzi Vert, and Playboi Carti. I would never touch that garbage. You see, I listen to REAL HIP HOP: BROCKHAMPTON, Denzel Curry, and Tyler, the Creator. You really think those artists would ever take influence let alone ever listen to those GARBAGE artists?!?!?!?!? NEVER.
January 2022

And you thought there wouldn't be any bees in chat

twitchquotes: ░A░n░d░ ░y░o░u░ ░t░h░o░u░g░h░t░ ░t░h░e░r░e░ ░w░o░u░l░d░n░t░ ░b░e░ ░a░n░y░ ░b░e░e░s░ ░i░n░ ░t░h░i░s░ ░c░h░a░t░ bUrself
twitch chat
May 2016
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing