[Copypasta] My name is Van, I'm an artist

twitchquotes: My name is Van, I'm an artist, I'm a performance artist. I'm hired to people to fulfill their fantasies, their deep dark fantasies. I was gonna be a movie star y'know, modeling and acting. After a hundred and two additions and small parts I decided y'know I had enough, Then I got in to Escort world. The client requests contain a lot of fetishes, so I just decided to go y'know... full ♂Master♂ and change my entire house into a dungeon... ♂Dungeon♂Master♂ now with a full dungeon in my house and It's going really well. Fisting is 300 bucks and usually the guy is pretty much hard on pop to get really relaxed y'know and I have this long latex glove that goes all the way up to my armpit and then I put on a surgical latex glove up to my wrist and just lube it up and it's a long process y'know to get your whole arm up there but it's an intense feeling for the other person I think for myself too, you go in places that even though it's physical with your hand but for some reason it's also more emotional it's more psychological too and we both get you know to the same place it's really strange at the same time and I find sessions like that really exhausting. I don't know I feel kinda naked because I am looking at myself for the first time, well not myself but this aspect of my life for the first time and it's been harsh... three to five years already? I never thought about it... Kinda sad I feel kinda sad right now, I don't know why
twitch chat
August 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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You think it’s funny to take screenshots of people’s NFTs, huh?

You think it’s funny to take screenshots of people’s NFTs, huh? You must be a very immature person to steal someone’s property that they PAID for. Yeah, I said it. You’re the kind of person who thinks that property theft (a seriously illegal offence) is a joke. I don’t even know why you took that screenshot, because you didn’t pay 1000 dollars for it. I did. The blockchain doesn’t lie. Even if you try to save it, it’s my property. You’re just angry that you couldn’t afford this priceless masterpiece. Even if you could, your fingers couldn’t even click fast enough to get one of the 10000 NFTs sold. You’re just mad you don’t own what I own. So, delete that screenshot, or I swear, you’ll be hearing from my lawyers.
November 2021

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Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 1

So today in school, my English teacher was having us do presentation in front of our class. For my presentation, I decided to troll my entire class by making my entire slideshow about the popular game, Among Us. I started off the presentation by showing the class the picture of the Among Us imposter wearing sneakers (it's a meme on google if you want to search for it). For some reason, no one laughed at the meme. My teacher told me "this isn't what your presentation is supposed to be about." I responded by yelling "THE TEACHER IS SUS I SAW HER VENT" and then naruto running around the room. Again, no one even giggled. I assume it's because it was forst bell and everyone was tired. My teacher said "Please sit down." But I wasn't about to give up. I made a last ditch effort to make everyone laugh. I started to beatbox the Among Us theme song trap remix. I was beatboxing it so well (i had practiced it at home), i was certain that everyone would burst out in laughter. Unfortunately, not a single person laughed. Everyone was staring at me, so I said "You guys are all sussy, I'm gonna eject you". Long story short, I ended up getting a bad grade on my presentation and I got a detention. However, it was worth it because I totally got to troll my entire class.
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This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!

twitchquotes: ☑ “This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!” ☑ “My deck cannot hope to prevail against a deck of that caliber” ☑ "He REQUIRED those two cards in subsequent order to succeed" ☑ “He extracted from his deck the only cards capable of defeating me” ☑ "His cards defied logic" ☑ “There was no manoeuvre at my disposal to secure victory” ☑ “I played impeccably”
twitch chat
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This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

I dropped my notes

twitchquotes: ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ OOOPS I dropped my notes ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing