[Copypasta] LACKS CRITICAL INFORMATION

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.

December 2020

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

twitch chat

April 2019

God of War Kratos

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░██░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░██░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░ ░░██░░██░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██░░██░ ░█████████░░░░░░▓▓▓▓████████░░ ░░█▀▀▀███████░░░░███████▀▀▀██░ ░███▄▄██▄███░░░░░░███▄██▄▄███░ ░█░████████░░░░░░░░▓████████▓░ ░░░░██░░░░░░█░░░░█░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░ ░░░░██░░░░░░░█░░█░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░ ░░░░█░░░░░░░░█░░█░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░ ░░░██░░░░░████░░████░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓░ ░░░█░░░░░█░░█░░░░█░░█░░▓▓▓▓▓▓░ ░░░█░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░█░░▓▓▓▓▓▓░ ░░░█░░░░░░░██░░░░██░░░░░▓▓▓░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░████░░░░░░░▓▓░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░█████████████░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░█░░░█████████░░░█░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░███████░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░████░░░█████░░░████░░░░░ ░░░░░░░█████████████████░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░███████████████░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░█████████████░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░███████████░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░███████░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

ascii art

September 2021

Awkward Look Monkey Puppet

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⠻⠯⠭⠉⠛⠋⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣻⣿⣯⣤⣹⣿ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⡇⠀⣿⢟⣿⡀⠟⢹⣿ ⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣷⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⡄⢹⣿ ⣷⠀⠀⠀⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠈⢻ ⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠋⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⣤⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠁⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿

ascii art

January 2022

Hello Mr TidesofTime, this is Google's manager Gabe Horn

twitchquotes: Hello Mr TidesofTime, this is Google's manager Gabe Horn here. We have received word you are singing to your viewers. As a Streamer on our newest acquisition, Twitch, your voice is now copy-righted. Please stop immediately. Thank you.

twitch chat

August 2014

TidesOfTime

[Copypasta] LACKS CRITICAL INFORMATION

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

God of War Kratos

Awkward Look Monkey Puppet

Hello Mr TidesofTime, this is Google's manager Gabe Horn

Confirm Subscription