[Copypasta] Great Thermo-War

twitchquotes: It is the year 2134. I am one of the last people on the planet. Nearly everyone was wiped out in the Great Thermo-War. Now there is no reason to live. I open my holodeck-transponder and go to "Twitch tv". I turn on Kripp's stream and see that he has made it to Rank 10. I succumb to my radiation poisoning.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

This is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporated

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporatedยฉ. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has legend) as you no longer are a "never legend". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

krippO

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
August 2016
Kripp

Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices

twitchquotes: Twitch Chat (โ€œChatโ€) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (โ€œnl_Krippโ€) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Sparkle the spam away

twitchquotes: (๏พ‰โ—•ใƒฎโ—•)๏พ‰*:๏ฝฅ๏พŸโœง SPARKLE THE โœฟ*โˆ—หตโ•ฐเผผโœชแ—œโœชเผฝโ•ฏหตโˆ—*โœฟ SPAM AWAY (๏พ‰โ—•ใƒฎโ—•)๏พ‰*:๏ฝฅ๏พŸโœง
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

My son, why did you tap last?

twitchquotes: In Romanian village there is very little water. Papparian is thirsty and asks Kripparian to get some water for him from the water tap 2 miles away. Kripp decides to go to the store first. A few hours later Kripp brings Papparian his water, only to find Papparian has had a heat stroke. With his dying breath, Papparian asks "My son, why did you tap last?"
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

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