[Copypasta] not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe

twitchquotes: Although I am very reluctant to do so, I am very sorry to inform you, sir, that the statement that you have just made through the use of online means in the format of a picture, video, message of text, or a combination of the three, is partially, somewhat, relatively, incompletely, fractionally, slightly - a miniscule degree of not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Please help, when I sneeze, it sounds like I'm saying the n-word

I'm not sure what to do. For my early life, it wasn't a huge deal. I lived in a mostly white family who didn't really care, and I stayed home from school when I was sick. But now that I'm in college, I'm terrified of what it could mean. Doctors won't help me. Every time I've asked, they think I'm making it up and doing it on purpose, and now that I've moved, my doctor is this 6ft tall african-american man. I haven't been to a check-up in over a year. It's causing trouble with school too. The first instance was in chemistry. The professor told me to pass out some bunsen burners from the cabinet to the rest of the students. I got up and opened the cabinet, but it was super dusty inside, and before I could help myself, a huge sneeze forced itself out of my body. "N*GGA!" sounded across the classroom, and I just froze. My cheeks heated up as everyone just stared at me. I quickly said that I needed to go get a tissue and ran from the classroom. I was forced to have a meeting with my professor later, where she was adamant that she wouldn't have that kind of language in her classroom. I tried to explain that it was an accident and I didn't even have a reason to say the n-word while sneezing and gathering bunsen burners, but she was already mad so I think she zeroed in on my word choice and thought that I was inferring that other times I DID have a reason to say it. I didn't get kicked out but nobody wanted to partner with me for the rest of the semester, and I feel like the professor was a bit harsher on test questions. The most recent event happened only yesterday, and I'm terrified of what it could mean. I was in line at the Chick-fil-A in the cafeteria, feeling like shit. I'd been sick for a day or two, and normally I don't go out because of my unique problem, but I was starving and just needed to grab a quick bite. Right as I got up to the counter, I felt a sneeze coming on, and knew I was screwed. Here's the thing. When I'm sick, the issue is 10x worse. The phlegm or something in my throat makes the n-word sound come out with a lower, R-sound at the end instead of the gasp that normally makes the A. So I'm standing there, about to order my 8pc nugget, when I spasm and unleash a full forced "N****R!" across the entire cafeteria. Everybody heard it. Literally everybody. The girl at the counter, who unfortunately was black, just looked so hurt and angry at the same time, not to mention I think I may have sneezed a little on her. I turned and bolted from the cafeteria. I ran straight back to my dorm; I saw a group of guys trying to follow me, but they couldn't get in to my specific dorm building. I recognized a few of them from my chemistry class. I've been in my dorm ever since. I'm terrified of leaving. I'm positive that if they see me again, they'll kick the shit out of me. So that's my problem. I'm not sure how to prove my innocence and I don't think I'll survive another semester at this rate.
January 2021

Shalom my fellow Twitchlings

twitchquotes: Shalom my fellow Twitchlings. My name is Herschel Goldstein, I hail from the ancient land of Israel. In this world there are two superior races: the valiant Japanese and the God-fearing Jews. When I met the great Kripp at Blizzcon 2013, he gave me a piece of advice that I will never forget: "Pentru a da oul omului, รฎl hrฤƒneศ™ti pentru o zi. Om รฎnvฤƒศ›at de ouฤƒ, รฎl va hrฤƒni pentru o viaศ›ฤƒ รฎntreagฤƒ." Translated into foreign devil talk: I am coming Yankee scum. Get on board or get out of the way."
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I sexually identify as You

Hi, my name is whatever yours is and I sexually identify as you. I use I/me/myself pronouns. If youโ€™re wondering โ€œWonโ€™t that get you confused with me?โ€ you are a transphobic bigot because I clearly stated that I identify as, and therefore am, you. By saying that I can get confused with you, you are implying that I am not you, and denying that Iโ€™m you is transphobic because you are denying my gender identity, and also your own because I am you. If you are now wondering โ€œDoesnโ€™t that make you also a transphobe?โ€ then I will answer. No, it does not. โค๏ธ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ
January 2021

I sexually Identify as

HODL

๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Genetics is the future

I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers. Genetics is the future.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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