[Copypasta] not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe

twitchquotes: Although I am very reluctant to do so, I am very sorry to inform you, sir, that the statement that you have just made through the use of online means in the format of a picture, video, message of text, or a combination of the three, is partially, somewhat, relatively, incompletely, fractionally, slightly - a miniscule degree of not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
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⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣇ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠭⠿⢿⡛⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⣀⣠⣤⣀⣤⣀⡌⢿ ⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣆⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣹⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣶⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠉⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⣿⠟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⣾⣿⣷⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠄⠄⢀⢀⣠⣴⣿⣀⡀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠘⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣭⡉⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢻⡷⠁⣤⣶⣦⣄⠄⠈⠙⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣄⠄⠄⠄⠽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
May 2019
Greekgodx

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me?

twitchquotes: What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay

Recently, I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay. It all started a week ago. I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, when all of a sudden, a big shit turd comes out of my ass. It was huge. Big big. It’s so fucking big, I gotta look down into the toilet to check for blood. No blood, but the turd is fucking massive. I notice something strange about it. The end of the turd, sticking out of the water, looks like a dick head. A penis head. Needless to say, I was concerned. How could this be? I picked it up from the water, and put it back up my ass. To my surprise, it felt good. I then shit it back into the water. Splash. I then repeated this a few more times, moaning out “Oscar Winning actor Anthony Hopkins” each time. I am not sure if I am now gay. My boyfriend says it’s completely normal, but he’s gay, so I can’t trust him.
May 2021

Russkis of Easterino

twitchquotes: Guten tag mutterfugers. Das ist Gestrud Hitlerino of 1945. We are in need of assisterino for defeating the Russkis of Easterino. If you would lend your Mods to assisterino, we would be danke and one with stream. Please no copy seig heil pasta
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

SCP Jerma

Item #: SCP-985-J Object Class: Euclid Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance. Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state. SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment. Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact". SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on ██/██/201█ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
January 2022
Jerma985
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