[Copypasta] Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Ban one brother and you get the whole trailer park

twitchquotes: KKona BAN KKona ONE KKona BROTHER KKona AND KKona YOU KKona GET KKona THE KKona WHOLE KKona TRAILER KKona PARK
twitch chat
March 2017

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

After Reynad uses pictures of his forehead for Tinder...

twitchquotes: After Reynad began using only pictures of his forehead for his Tinder account, his amount of female attention increased drastically. One woman was particularly ready to hop in bed with him. "I'm going to make so much money off of this thirsty Ukrainian!" she said to herself. Unfortunately for her she left her phone on with Andrey's Tinder profile open and his forehead heard her. She "disappeared" within the week.
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

So I鈥檓 an AMC shareholder

So I鈥檓 an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I can鈥檛 believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now I鈥檓 typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
January 2021

WallStreetBets

YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN!

twitchquotes: 猝光暡鈳濃Ч PunOko 鈳犫暠猝糕帬 Squid1 Squid3 Squid2 Squid4 YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN! 猝光暡鈳濃Ч PunOko 鈳犫暠猝糕帬
twitch chat
July 2017

Weebs

Classic

Kripp starts a salt mine

twitchquotes: As Kripp frantically tries to fix his router and internet issues. The stays dedicated and vigilante. After trying to fix these issues that arose at hand he finally came to realize that this was all worth nothing. He stopped fixing the issues and threw his computer out the window. He started up a Salt Mining company in the Himalayan mountains called Kripp Salt. He is starting a family and all is well. Thanks Kripp. BibleThump
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing