[Copypasta] Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Disgrace to all Morosans

twitchquotes: Octavian Morosan, this is your great great grandparrian, I am contacting you from beyond the grave to tell you that you are a disgrace to all Morosans because of your recent switch to being a casual. Pls no Maserati
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I can no longer resist the pizza

twitchquotes: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Anime girl 12

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠤⠖⠚⢉⣩⣭⡭⠛⠓⠲⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠁⠀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⢀⡴⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠁⣠⠋⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⢣⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡾⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣹⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠃⢀⣇⡈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡑⢄⡀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⠀⢸⠀⢻⡟⡻⢶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠟⡳⢿⣦⡑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⠀⣸⠀⢸⠃⡇⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠈⣿⡗⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁ ⠀⠀⡏⠀⣼⠀⢳⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣀⣀⠔⣸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⡇⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃⠀ ⠀⢸⠃⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀ ⠀⣸⠀⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⢶⡇⠀⠀⢰⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀ ⢰⠇⡄⠀⠀⠀⡿⢣⣀⣀⣀⡤⠴⡞⠉⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀ ⣸⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⣿⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠤⠶⠶⠾⠤⠄⢸⠀⡀⠸⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀ ⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⡀⠀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡌⣵⡀⢳⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀ ⡇⠀⠇⠀⠀⡇⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠮⢧⣀⣻⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧ ⣇⠀⢠⠀⠀⢳⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡎⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘ ⢻⠀⠈⠰⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠘⢮⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠸⡆⠀⠀⠇⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⣄⡀⢢⡀
April 2020

Weebs

So as joke, I fucked my friend in a Joseph Stalin cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Joseph Stalin's mustache and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as the Soviet flag and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made made feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yes,comrade." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter,comrade?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Not a step back!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Joseph Stalin."
September 2021

NSFW

John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS

twitchquotes: Greetings Kripp, it is I, John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS. It has come to my attention that children are using my invention for malicious reasons. Please send me your address, phone number, credit card and social security numbers so I can help you fix this problem.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing