[Copypasta] Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is the shittiest reply ever Modern Warfare version

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Modern Warfare requires movement, camping, claymoring, rotating, and hitting shots. There are not “positions” in Modern Warfare. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Guys I am worried after what my homie did

twitchquotes: Guys I am worried after what my homie did. Me and my homie were bored one day so we got together and always said no homo. We adopted 2 kids and have spent 1 year together and we are engaged and getting married. So one day I am feeling horny and I go to my homie and we fuck, it's good, and I said no homo. 6 minutes in I notice his socks aren't on and then it hits me, he didn't say no homo I am shocked. I asked him to say no homo but he ignored me. Is he gay? Am I gay? How do I tell the kids that?
twitch chat
April 2020

KappaPride

SadKek

⣯⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠉⠈⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠇⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣇⠀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠙⠛⠻⣽⠻⢦⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⡉⠉⢿⣿ ⣶⠀⠐⠆⠀⠀⡾⢦⣬⠓⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⡀⠄⠀⢀⠠⡤⠁⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⠀⠈⣶⣶⣾⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡐⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠋⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⣿⡍⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠚⠻⢿⡿⠿⠛⠻⢿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠺⠷⠶⠤⠤⢤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣉⣙⣠⣤⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢿⡆⠰⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⣉⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⣀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸
September 2020

The One Who Brings Salt

twitchquotes: Tells the legend that a long time ago all sea's water was fresh. But one tragic day a baby came out of the sea and was found by a group of african sea men. One week later, after the little baby saw the sea men play Hearth of Stone all the water turned salty. So they named him Kripp, which in Afrikaans means The One Who Brings Salt
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

3rd world countries like Sweden and Germany

twitchquotes: As I sit here in the land of freedom and glory, soaring on the wings of the bald eagle; I look down at the earth below me. Soaring over the crystal waters of the US Ocean toward 3rd world counties like Sweden and Germany, I am reminded that not everyone was lucky enough to be born into greatness. A single tear is shed as I weep at the thought of Denmark and Norway and the poverty they endure. The tear falls
twitch chat
October 2014

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing