[Copypasta] Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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League of Lesbians

twitchquotes: Once upon a time, I opened a LoL game. I entered the game, and I was promptly greeted by another player. I noticed it was a female player and I was pleasantly surprised. I told her of my great love for the female anatomy, particularly the breasts and the backside. To my surprise, she told me she also enjoyed these things. It was then that I realised, I was playing League of Lesbians.....
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up

I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up. The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers. But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan 😉) role of boyfriend/guardian. But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you... BACK OFF... This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
September 2021
Maya

Simps

Kirby

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣶⣀⣀⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⣔⠮⠍⠛⠒⠒⠒⠚⠠⠽⣉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡂⠕⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠢⢀⡹⠛⠋⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣀⣀⣠⣼⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⠑⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⢆⠀⠀⢸⣀⣸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠸⣄⣸⡆⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⠀⣠⣴⣶⣶⡄⠀⢀⣤⣾⣇⣀⣀⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⠻⡿⠀⠘⠛⠛⠋⠁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣷⢀⣀⠀⠻⠿⢀⣴⣶⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣤⠛⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃ ⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢦⣄⣀⡀⠤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣷⣶⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠉⠛⠛⠿⠋⠁
ascii art
December 2019

Please put an NSFW tag on this

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
December 2021

Reddit

Will this pay for singing in mumble

twitchquotes: [̲$̲(̲ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲)̲$̲] Leifman will this pay for singing in mumble? [̲$̲(̲ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲)̲$̲]
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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