[Copypasta] Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Yuumi this, Yuumi that

twitchquotes: Yuumi this, Yuumi that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

EU WHY SO QUIET?

twitchquotes: LUL EU WHY SO QUIET? LUL EU WHY SO QUIET? LUL EU WHY SO QUIET? LUL EU WHY SO QUIET? LUL EU WHY SO QUIET? LUL EU WHY SO QUIET? LUL
twitch chat
November 2018

EU vs NA

There was a bug in the toilet

twitchquotes: WHEN I SAT DOWN ⬇️ TO PEE 🧘‍♂️💦 THERE WAS A BUG 🐞 IN THE TOILET 🚽 BUT I THOUGHT 💭 IT WAS DROWNED 🌊👻 ❓❔❓❔ N WHEN I GOT UP ⬆️ ‼️IT WASN'T ❌ THERE 👉 IM SOBBING 😭 IS IT IN MY FUCKING 🍆 BUTTHOLE 🍑⭕ WHERE IS IT⁉️⁉️⁉️
twitch chat
July 2020

Scream (Ghostface)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢻⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⢀⠴⠛⠙⣿⣿⡿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⢠⡖⠉⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⡏⠄⢹⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠ ⣿⠃⠄⠄⢸⣧⣤⣤⣤⢾⣿⣿⡇⠄⠈⢻⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⢿⡟⠉⠉⣿⣷⣀⠄⠄⣿⡆⠄⠄⢠⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡿⠿⢿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠃⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡞⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⢀⡼⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⢀⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄HAPPY ⠙⢿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠃⠄⢀⠎⠄⠄⠄HALLOWEEN ⠙
ascii art
October 2021

Halloween

She needs a man that can treat her right

twitchquotes: What the fuck man. I'm literally sitting here on the verge of tears. Slaving away in this dead end job saving up for the end of the month splash. I was this close. Maybe I should have done that overtime, if I could get her that money earlier I might have been able to convince her in the dono message. She needs a man that can treat her right, a man like me. I would open the car door for her EVERY TIME, I would pull out her chair at a restaurant, I would lay my twitch hoodie over puddles to protect her from the filth.
twitch chat
December 2020

Simps

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