[Copypasta] Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021

Shaco

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠈⣉⠛⢦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠐⢉⡉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠿⣆⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⣠⠶⠛⠋⠁⠉⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢡⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠘⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⡐⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠀⠈⠻⢶⣤⣀⣀⣽⡆⠘⣿⠇⠀⢸⠀⢀⣠⡴⠞⠃⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⣀⠀⠀⠉⠻⠟⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠃⠟⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⡄⣺⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⡗⢦⣀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣤⢚⠏⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠰⠀⢻⠳⢾⣯⣸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠘⣡⡖⢻⠃⡌⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⠀⢷⠀⡈⠻⣿⠀⠀⡠⠚⠀⢷⠃⢰⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢆⠘⡄⡁⢀⠉⠦⠊⣁⠴⢁⠄⠐⡟⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣆⠈⢇⠨⠉⠰⠈⠁⢀⠏⠀⠰⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠹⡇⠈⢧⡀⢠⠀⣠⠋⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠘⠿⠇⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2020

League of Legends

Anime girl 15

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣀⠸⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢡⣿⣿⣿⡇⠝⠋⠀⠀⠀⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢸⠸⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠊⣽⣿⣿⣿⠁⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⡏⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠾⣿⣟⡻⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⠋⣿⡿⠚⠋⠁⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⡄⠀⣳⡶⡦⡀⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⡇⡿⠉⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠽⢲⠇⠣⠐⠚⢻⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡐⣾⡏⣷⠀⠀⣼⣷⡧⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⠳⣿⣇⢈⣿⠟⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣼⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣝⣿⣦⡑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣷⣿⣿⠃⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⣤⣾⣿⣿⡿⠻⡏⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡴⣫⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣿⣟⢦⡸⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡰⠋⣴⣿⣟⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠁⠸⣿⢻⣦⠉⢆⠀⠀ ⢠⠇⡔⣿⠏⠏⠙⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣜⣛⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⠹⣷⡈⡄⠀ ⠀⡸⣴⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⠀⢻⡿⡇⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⣰⠿⠤⠒⡛⢹⣿⠄ ⠀⣿⣷⡆⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⠀ ⠀⠈⠿⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⢞⠌⡹⠁⠀⠀⢻⡇⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢳⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠂⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⡇⠁⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠛⠛⠛⠀⢸⠀⠀⡀⠂⠀⠀⠐⠛⠉⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠕⣠⡄⣰⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⠠⡪⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢫⣽⡋⠭⠶⠮⢽⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣓⣽⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣶⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

Weebs

WEEB TEST

twitchquotes: WEEB TEST VoHiYo IF YOU TOUCH THE LOLI , WATCH BOKU NO PICO ⎝ FeelsGoodMan
twitch chat
July 2017

Weebs

Chat Test

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing