[Copypasta] Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Your social credit score has increased

中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [5] Integers. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [100] Integers. You can now have priority transport and can now get into prestigious colleges! Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citzen! Your social credit score has increased by [500] Integers. You can now take up official, government job, where we pay you high salary, unlike America. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [1000] Integers. We will ensure you get great salary, good benefits, and good social standing, no matter the means. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]Copied! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [5000] Integers. You will be famous across mainland of China, for what you are currently doing. We will make you celebrity, and even better salary. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [10000] Integers. Xi Jinping would like to meet you personally at Zhongnanhai to encourage your good work. I am sure you notice that you have gained lot of dislike recently. Do not worry. We will send re-education vans to make sure your figure is in good graces. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]
October 2021

Angry laughing crying

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣾⣿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⠏⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣽⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢃⣾⡿⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⣾⣿⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡿⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⡿⠟⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⡆⢸ ⣰⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⣼⠟⠁⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡟⣻⠏⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⡀⠀⠈⢻⡄⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⢠ ⢻⣿⠇⠀⠀⢰⡟⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠘⡧⠙⢿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡿⠋⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠈⡗⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⢸ ⣼⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⣸⣇⡀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⣠⣶⣿⡄⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⢸ ⡿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠻⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣾⠟⠁⠀⠙⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣿⡟⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣤⠤⠶⠿⠷⠶⢶⣶⣾⣯⣀⣀⣀⣈⣛⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⡟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠈⠉⠉⣭⡍⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣦⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣿⡟⠁⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠈⠹⣿⣷⣶⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

Reynad please give pube-styling tips

twitchquotes: Hey reynad, ever since I listened to your tips my hair has never been better! But now I need pube-styling tips. Do you trim or straighten it? I was thinking an Abe Lincoln look. what do you think?
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

SCP Jerma

Item #: SCP-985-J Object Class: Euclid Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance. Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state. SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment. Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact". SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on ██/██/201█ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
January 2022
Jerma985

Arr. It's driving me nuts

twitchquotes: A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants, the bartender says "whats with the wheel?". The pirate replies "Arr. it's drivin me nuts"
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing