[Copypasta] Twitch Chat containment solution

twitchquotes: International efforts to contain the most toxic and dangerous internet dwellers have failed time and time again, until a secret organisation offered to build a prison for internet's worst scum. The project codenamed "Twitch Chat" pretending to be an addition to a livestreaming service has proven to be a very effective containment solution.
twitch chat
January 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Travis Scott Burger

I have a theory about the Travis Scott burger. I think it’s a sham. It’s all a multi million dollar misinformation campaign. McDonalds has been hurting for a new supply of beef due to the Covid 19 pandemic. With all of the meat processing plant closures, they had to look elsewhere to get their precious beef for the ever so hungry American. They needed a new supplier. This has to be nobody other than Travis Scott. You see, since marrying Kylie Jenner, he had access to all of her cosmetic company’s animal testing plants. It was easy for Travis to get ahold of meat... it was too easy. Travis knew McDonalds was desperate for new meat, so he struck while the iron was hot. Through a swift negotiation, he had the multi billion dollars corporation by the balls, the sweet sweet balls. Travis agreed to supply them with the meat, only he lead them to believe it was coming from cows when in reality he was harvesting the animals from the animal cosmetic testing lab. In exchange, he got his name on the McDonalds menu. All for what? Now you may be wondering how I came across this info. And you may be wondering who sent you this information. It was Cactus Jack. Cactus Jack sent this info.
October 2020

I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face

twitchquotes: I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face and suffocate me and gives me no mercy, I want her to squash my head with her gigantic thighs like a hand squashes a tomato. Just knowing that she is able to do that brings me to the brink of orgasmic relief, but I know she won't smash my body with her arms hugging me like the bear emote. Fuck, why does she have to be a video game character, I want Blizzard to make sex dolls, I would buy out all the Zarya models and keep them for myself
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

WTF IS MEGALUL?

twitchquotes: We have the perfect three letter emote for a british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the LUL emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could LUL at the 4Head fags but now MEGALUL has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
August 2016
Forsen

I want to date Pokimane so bad

twitchquotes: I want to date Pokimane so bad. She is so cute and I love her so much. She has a cute smile and a cute face. She’s a gamer like me and has a amazing personality. I would love to tell her every night “I love you” and rub her feet while she is streaming. We would go out when she isn’t doing gamer stuff and have fun together. She is also really good at gaming so I would be able to get carried by my very own GF. I love girls who are better at things than me so I can learn from them. God I want to date Pokimane
twitch chat
April 2020
Pokimane

It can never be opposite day

It can never be opposite day. When ever you say "HEY IT'S OPPOSITE DAY!" the opposite would apply therefor it would not be opposite day. Also if you say "IT'S NOT OPPOSITE DAY!" the affect is not applied.
February 2021
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