[Copypasta] Twitch Chat containment solution

twitchquotes: International efforts to contain the most toxic and dangerous internet dwellers have failed time and time again, until a secret organisation offered to build a prison for internet's worst scum. The project codenamed "Twitch Chat" pretending to be an addition to a livestreaming service has proven to be a very effective containment solution.
twitch chat
January 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Just hit gold and I feel really dangerous IRL

twitchquotes: Last night I hit Gold rank in League of Legends, Summoner's Rift for the first time. Today, when I went on my walk to my standard retail job, idk I felt like I had this new edge to me that wasn't there before. I went from a triangle to a square pretty much. Have any other LoL overachievers ever felt this way before? It's like my rank is strapped to my waist and now whenever people are at risk of passing me on the sidewalk, they skirt over to the other side in a tizzy. At work, someone tried to shoplift some Almond Joy. When I caught him, I yelled "hey!" And he looked at me and scoffed, like, "whatever dude, don't be a hero." I put a hand on my hip and said "I'm not a hero, I'm a jungler." He dropped the candy bar and ran to his getaway vehicle. I recorded the plate and called the police.
twitch chat
January 2020

League of Legends

Moishe from Hebrew School

twitchquotes: So you're going by Reckful now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Moishe from Hebrew School. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in Torah class. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Ziva the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now according to the customs of HaShem. I make over 200k a year and am an accomplished Rabbi. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic.
twitch chat
July 2019
Reckful

Tanner from High School

Daily WSB trader routine

1. Wake up 2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls 3. Shit while looking at charts, don’t wipe 4. Fomo and buy the top 5. Watch stock Plummet 6. Sell, watch stock go up 7. Go to WSB and downvote everything 8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are 9. Stare at futures for 3 hours 10. Sleep & repeat
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Unlucky Skeleton

⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀ ⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡟⡗ ⣿⠉⣿⠉⣿⡏⠹⡏⢹⡏⢹⣿⣿⠉⣿⠉⣿⡟⢋⠛⣿⠉⡟⢉⡏⠹⠏⣹⣿ ⠀⠀⠙⠏⠯⠛⣉⢲⣧⠟ ⣿⠄⣿⠄⣿⡇⡄⠁⢸⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⠄⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⠄⡀⢻⣿⡄⢠⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠠⢭⣝⣾⠿⣴⣿⠇ ⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣧⣿⣤⣼⣧⣬⣭⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣧⣤⣤⣿⣤⣷⣤⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢐⣺⡿⠁⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠀ ⠀⠀⣚⣿⠃ ⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷⢒⣢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣶⣶⣄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⡿⣿⣦⠬⢝⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠁ ⠠⢿⣿⣷⠺⣿⣗⠒⠜⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠟⠁ ⠀⣰⣿⣷⣍⡛⣯⣯⣙⡁⠀⠀⣠⡾⠁ ⠀⠨⢽⣿⣷⢍⣛⣶⢷⣼⣠⣾⠋ ⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣖⠬⣹⣶⣿⠟⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠚⠿⠿⡒⠨⠛⠋ ⠀⠀⠀⠐⢒⣛⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⢘⣻⣭⣭ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⢚⣺⣿ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡄ ⠀⠀⢸⡿⢿⣿⢿⡿⠃ ⠀⠀⠘⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⡿⠉⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡟
ascii art
July 2022

Doublelift dodges Imaqtpie in queue

twitchquotes: Doublelift fired up his stream for another day of soloQ, but foolishly forgot to check if Imaqtpie was in a game. He opened up QT’s stream to find him sitting in queue… He frantically began tabbing between his client and QT’s stream, then one after the other… both queues popped. “I need the toilet” he said to his chat. He ran to the wall and unplugged his internet. He was safe for another day.
twitch chat
March 2017
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

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