[Copypasta] Twitch Chat containment solution

twitchquotes: International efforts to contain the most toxic and dangerous internet dwellers have failed time and time again, until a secret organisation offered to build a prison for internet's worst scum. The project codenamed "Twitch Chat" pretending to be an addition to a livestreaming service has proven to be a very effective containment solution.
twitch chat
January 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

nl_Kripp can you stop it with all the salt?

twitchquotes: nl_Kripp can you stop it with all the salt? I was trapped in a salt mine for 3 days straight without any water or food. I only survived by drinking my own urine and eating my toes. Every time I see you spitting salt everywhere it gives me terrible PTSD flashbacks. Thanks.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

salty

Unicorn

⢠⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⢦⡀⠀⢰⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⣎⠙⠲⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠈⣗⣄⡌⠘⣷⣀⣠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠈⠙⠲⢄⣣⡖⣯⡷⣧⠀⢸⢿⣦⡀⠈⠳⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣼⣯⣄⣿⣦⣸⢸⣏⠻⣤⣀⣈⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⠤⠴⠻⣯⠈⠋⠙⠃⠀⠈⣿⠻⣾⡿⠛⠁⠉⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠷⣤⡛⠛⢿⣿⡟⢹⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠿⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⡙⢹⡏⠿⣆⣹⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠾⢷⡞⠁⣀⠙⢿⠂⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⢾⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⣿⠀⢸⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⡞⠘⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡾⣷⣾⠇⠀ ⠀⢸⠈⠿⠀⠙⠲⣄⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠇⢀⣼⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⣘⠷⠊⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⠿⠖⠛⣿⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣄⠀⢀⣠⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2021

no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers

twitchquotes: chat moving so fast no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers on the internet because my parents didn't give me any.
twitch chat
November 2017

Please DO NOT buy the BTS meal if you don't stan them

Please DO NOT buy the BTS meal if you don't stan them. You're preventing the actual BTS fans who have waited for months from having the BTS meal experience. Eating the sauces without understanding their significance is literally cultural appropriation and it's not okay
June 2021

Classic

Lord Microsoft

10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington. A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine. "Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside. Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out. The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground. "This is the last one?" the figure asks. "Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for." The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger. "Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-" "Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!" The guards grab the man, hoisting him up. "Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection. "Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse." The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain. He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale. "How may I serve you, my lord."
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

Text-to-Speech Playing