[Copypasta] Twitch Chat containment solution

twitchquotes: International efforts to contain the most toxic and dangerous internet dwellers have failed time and time again, until a secret organisation offered to build a prison for internet's worst scum. The project codenamed "Twitch Chat" pretending to be an addition to a livestreaming service has proven to be a very effective containment solution.
twitch chat
January 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

The ultimate tool to win any argument you're in, works even if you're losing

That's a nice argument you have, but unfortunately, I had sexual intercourse with your mother, therefore rendering any point you make null.
May 2021

Among us has ruined a generation

Among us has ruined a generation. Everywhere I go, I see their divisor. It can't be stopped. I go shopping and I find among us mini figures. I look online for a better bin, and then I find a trash can with a red colour, and I can't stop myself saying "HAHA THATS A BIT SUSSY!" I look for champion clothes, but hold on- if you rotate the c it turns into- oh no... Gen Z wont stop saying a sentence without the word SUS in it. SOS? SUS. I go to Mcdonalds to cheer myself up, but while browsing through my phone, I find that a nugget in the shape of AMOGUS sold for over $1000 dollars, I only wanted peace, but innersloth has become a bit sussy.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

It's me, your only Viewer

twitchquotes: Hi [streamer name]- It’s me, your only Viewer. For Months I have created the illusion that you are streaming to a large audience. But here’s the truth: all these people in the chat are me. And now, for you to be convinced of this, I will send this message from all my accounts.
twitch chat
March 2021

Bedge

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠋⠁⠀⢀⠠⢤⣤⡰⡈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⣫⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⡻⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡆⠲⠾⠕⣪⠏⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠰⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢊⠇⠉⠑⠻⠅⢀⠜⢹⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⠋⠭⠭⢅⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠁⡠⠎⠹⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢦⣀⣉⠽⠟⠉⠀⢀⡠⠔⠊⢁⡤⠊⠀⠁⠀⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠁⢀⠤⠒⠢⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠴⠒⠊⠁⣀⠤⠚⣡⣴⠟⠊⠄⠠⠐ ⠀⠀⢀⠂⠀⠀⡇⠀⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡠⠴⠒⠉⣠⣴⡿⠋⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⣀⣠⣴⡿⠛⠁⠀⡰⠆⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠒⠒⠒⣒⣿⣿⡿⠛⡉⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⢰⣊⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣦⠈⠈⠂⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣿⡿⠛⡡⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠇⠀⠀⠀⢡ ⣿⣇⣆⠀⠧⠤⣭⣽⣶⣿⡿⢛⠁⠀⠀⠠⠀⠐⠃⠀⠀⠠⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸ ⡿⣟⣿⣴⣾⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⢥⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣁⡤⠖⠀⠀⠀⠠⠠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡫⠕⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠶⠛⠉⠀⢀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡯⠓⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
November 2021

Pepe

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing