[Copypasta] Twitch Chat containment solution

twitchquotes: International efforts to contain the most toxic and dangerous internet dwellers have failed time and time again, until a secret organisation offered to build a prison for internet's worst scum. The project codenamed "Twitch Chat" pretending to be an addition to a livestreaming service has proven to be a very effective containment solution.
twitch chat
January 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

FOR THE HORDE tank

twitchquotes: SMOrc █ █ ]▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ............▂▄▅█████████▅▄▃▂ ...........███████████████████] ...........◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙◤FOR THE HORDE
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

The pasta will be that pasta that you’ve spammed

twitchquotes: I looked at this pasta originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a pasta, and you spam this pasta. The pasta will be that pasta that you’ve spammed, so you’re spamming a pasta. So it is one thing to spam a pasta if your chat doesn’t really have any pasta. The pasta will screw up the pasta pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good pasta.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

amongX

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣥⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⣬⣙⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣾⣏⣀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣉⣹⣿⠄⢡⣙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢸⣿⢋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⠙⣿⠄⢸⣿⣧⠽⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⣿⣿⣧⣻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⡿⠋⢼⣿⣿⠾⠛⠛⠁⠈⠁⡓⠛⢿⣿⣿⡟⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣇⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⠧⣿⣿⣇⠄⢛⣻⣿⣿⠶⠒⠓⠒⢒⠓⠄⠸⣿⣿⡇⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢛⣿⣿⣷⣦⣿⡿⣿⡇⠘⠛⠛⢿⣿⢿⣸ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⡾⠿⠿⠿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⣬⣭⣤⣼⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⠟⠟⠿⠏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡯⠘⡍⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
xQcOW

Among Us / Amogus

gwent is a really, really bad game

twitchquotes: gwent is a really, really bad game. Hearthstone is where it is at PogChamp (Copy and paste this message into the twitch channel: nl_Kripp, for the reward of: 1 x Classic Pack for Hearthstone. Blizzard rewards those that are loyal. Don't include this in the message.)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing