[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Hearthstone Copypastas

Rania and her Puerto Rican lover in 2017

twitchquotes: The year is 2017 - Rania is playing hardstone while her puerto rican lover performs felatio on her. She queues into an UNKNOWN and instantly receives a message from the Kripp. "This is so unfair! It`s not my fault vegans can`t eat p*#sy! You have 30 minutes to come back home before I shoot myself and dex in the face with my vegan gun!" She aggressively slams the desk: "DAMN IT!". "Que se pasa amor" Antonio looks up perplexed, She replies: "Turn 1 go first zombie chow...".
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August 2016
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Chess is too basic for Kripp

twitchquotes: "Well," Kripp drawled, a toothy grin splitting his face, "I think chess is a little too basic a game for me. I mean, only 6 different types of pieces? It's a game for children. No strategy whatsoever" That said, he proceeded to chortle as his opponents Huffer triggered his effigy, creating a Nexus Champion Sarad. "Outplayed."
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hey guys I'll be playing HS today

twitchquotes: BrokeBack Hey guys I'll be playing HS today BrokeBack Watch as I play children cards and whine about RNG for 6 hours BrokeBack How fun and interactive! BrokeBack Please join the 5 dollar club for more amazing content BrokeBack
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

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R-Reynad-sama? Could you please roleplay?

twitchquotes: (»° _ °«) R-Reynad-sama? Could you please, um, roleplay, so when your hero takes damage... you um, p-pretend y-you take damage...! T-thank you... (>/////<)
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

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Classic

Hearthstone

There is no need to be angry

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, "Truesilver Champion" is a common rarity card! This means that there are many chances during an arena draft to choose it compared to the rare, epic or legendary cards! It is not unreasonable for a Paladin deck to have 1 or more of "Truesilver Champion" so there is no need to be angry!
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing