[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

What happened to this ad? :(
More Hearthstone Copypastas

I beat Kripp once, but my deck was insane

twitchquotes: I beat Kripp once, but my deck was insane, I topdecked the exact cards I needed for lethal, actually Kripp played it perfectly, there was nothing he could do, it was such a joke.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hearthstone cardback

β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–€β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆ
July 2015

Hearthstone

MagicAmy copypasta

twitchquotes: Hey Reddit, I'm drafting a Rogue Arena deck and I'm 29 cards in. Should I pick Conceal (like how MagicAmy concealed her identity), Sap (like all of us were), or Vanish (like what MagicAmy is about to do)?
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

I feel Kripp fisting me through the stream

twitchquotes: Every morning, I wake up only to watch Kripp play Hearthstone arena. I decide to subscribe to Kripp, join the '5-dollar club', to be part of Kripp himself. 'Welcome', Kripp exclaims, 'to the 5-dollar club!'. He gives the stream a brofist. I feel Kripp fisting me through the stream. A silent tear of joy escapes my eye.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Corridor creeper

twitchquotes: πŸ›In the dungeon I go deeperπŸ›in set reviews I was a sleeperπŸ›when minions die I get cheaperπŸ›You guessed it rightπŸ›I'm corridor creeperπŸ›
twitch chat
August 2018

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing