[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
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BOB β€œYou’re doing GREAT out there!”

twitchquotes: BOB β€œYou’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. β€œI don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
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September 2020
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twitchquotes: Thijs I am a 22 year old gamer girl in search of a gamer man. I have been watching your stream for years and really like your deck. If you want to give a cute gamer girl like me a chance whisper me. ;) HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
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June 2019
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Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month

twitchquotes: monkaS πŸ‘‰ πŸ“‰ Um.... Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month...
twitch chat
June 2017
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MY GREETINGS ResidentSleeper

twitchquotes: MY GREETINGS ResidentSleeper SHAPESHIFT ResidentSleeper SHAPESHIFT ResidentSleeper THE CIRCLE OF LIFE IS OVER ResidentSleeper PLAGUE LORD ResidentSleeper MY WINGED CHILDREN FILL THE SKIES ResidentSleeper I AM THE ESSENCE OF MAGIC ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
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When Kripp plays Reno warrior...

twitchquotes: Captain's log, entry 69, stardate 420. It has been 9001 days since the SS Kripp first entered into this game of hearthstone, and still there appears to be no signs of release, no way out. I fear for the lives of myself and my crew, we may all pass of old age before we are freed from this particular game.
twitch chat
November 2015
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