[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
More Hearthstone Copypastas

Just a little longer and i'll be free...

twitchquotes: "Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Our Salt, who art in hearthstone

twitchquotes: BlessRNG Our Salt, who art in hearthstone, hallowed be thy game, your kripparian comes, your aggro decks be done, on constructed as it is in arena. BlessRNG Give us today our daily meme deck. BlessRNG And forgive us our rng bullshit, as we also have forgiven others rng bullshit. BlessRNG And lead us not into Smorc, but deliver us from the evil aggro decks. Amen BlessRNG
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Rania is playing hardstone

twitchquotes: The year is 2017 - Rania is playing hardstone while her puerto rican lover performs felatio on her. She queues into an UNKNOWN and instantly receives a message from the Kripp. "This is so unfair! It`s not my fault vegans can`t eat p*#sy! You have 30 minutes to come back home before I shoot myself and dex in the face with my vegan gun!" She aggressively slams the desk: "DAMN IT!". "Que se pasa amor" Antonio looks up perplexed, She replies: "Turn 1 go first zombie chow...".
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf. We're sorry to say we have to terminate your sponsor contract due to the fact that you consistently keep losing, even though you're using decks drafted through the HearthArena app. You are simply bringing us too much unneeded bad reputation, so we figure we'd just channel the funds we spend on you on a better player like Amaz. Sorry for this, and good luck in the future.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hearthstone cardback

โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆ
July 2015

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing