[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Hearthstone Copypastas

0-3 Hearthstone Arena Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the 0-3 Police, You're coming with us. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Hearthstone

Please Lord Give Kripp Bad RNG

twitchquotes: BlessRNG PLEASE LORD BlessRNG GIVE KRIPP BlessRNG BAD RNG BlessRNG SO WE MAY FEAST BlessRNG UPON HIS BlessRNG SALTY BOUNTY BlessRNG
twitch chat
March 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

Cute gamer girl

twitchquotes: Thijs I am a 22 year old gamer girl in search of a gamer man. I have been watching your stream for years and really like your deck. If you want to give a cute gamer girl like me a chance whisper me. ;) HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
June 2019
Thijs

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

The legend of the button

twitchquotes: The legend of the button grew as the potential dust reward that came with it increased. But in the end when the no life Kripparian who had long sold out pressed it, the playful sprites robbed him of his joy and crashed his client. Kripp fell to his knees and in a solemn proclamation said "Never Lucky".
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Value Town was within reach

twitchquotes: Trump couldn’t wait. Value Town was within reach and he moaned, hard, “Tuck Frump!” He was fidgety, yet Kripparrian stripped away his juvenile briefs. “He has the perfect cards…” Kripp thought in his head, “An absolutely ridiculous deck.” Cattarrian stared casually as Kripp bounced his Ragnaros off of Trump’s plump rump.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Hearthstone

More Hearthstone Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing