[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
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December 2018

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
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twitchquotes: Albert Einstein was desperate. He tried to prove that the luck of Kripp's opponents was within the laws of mathematics. Critics laughed claiming bad luck is divine punishment for embracing casualness. On his deathbed, he spent his last seconds jotting down the most famous formulas, PJSalt = HsΒ²
twitch chat
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Obey the call of Kel'Thuzad!

twitchquotes: α•™ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•—γ€€οΌ­ο½‰ο½Žο½‰ο½ο½Žο½“οΌŒγ€€ο½“ο½…ο½’ο½–ο½ο½Žο½”ο½“οΌŒγ€€ο½“ο½ο½Œο½„ο½‰ο½…ο½’ο½“γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½„γ€€ο½„ο½ο½’ο½‹οΌŒγ€€ο½ο½‚ο½…ο½™γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½Œγ€€ο½ο½†γ€€οΌ«ο½…ο½Œβ€™οΌ΄ο½ˆο½•ο½šο½ο½„οΌα•™ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•—
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