[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
More Hearthstone Copypastas

Rexxar diary GvG

twitchquotes: ʀᴇxxᴀʀ ᴅɪᴀʀʏ ɢᴠɢ ᴅᴀʏ 1: ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ʀᴏʙᴏᴛ ɴᴏᴡ. ᴀᴍ ᴄᴏɴғᴜsᴇ. ᴛʀᴀᴅᴇ ᴏʀ ʜɪᴛ ғᴀᴄᴇ? ɪ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴛ1 ᴜɴᴅᴇʀᴛᴀᴋᴇʀ ᴄᴏɪɴ ʟᴇᴘᴇʀ ɢɴᴏᴍᴇ? ɢᴠɢ ᴅᴀʏ 2: ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ, ʙʀᴀɪɴ ʜᴜʀᴛ. ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴏʟᴅ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ. ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴜsᴇ ᴏʟᴅ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪᴛ ғᴀᴄᴇ. ᴀᴍ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ᴀᴅᴅ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜʀᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ʀᴏʙᴏᴛ. ɢᴠɢ ᴅᴀʏ 3: ᴍᴇ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴡɪɴɴɪɴɢ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

I love your stream. Just kidding

twitchquotes: I love your stream. Your energy and optimism is inspiring and you just make my day so much brighter. Just kidding lol. It's tanner. I see you're still playing this children's card game despite me stealing and selling your account back in the day. Anyways, good talk. See you at the gym ... not.
twitch chat
June 2019

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

Kripp invites Hotform to a friendly Fireside duel

twitchquotes: Hotform sees another invite to a friendly Fireside duel from Kripp and wants to move into fetal curl, but his hand is chained to the heater. Rania steps next to his laptop, putting dry bread and tap water down. “Come, Hotform, it is only 3 more hours today. You can even have some lettuce for dinner.” His eyes tear up while he accepts the invite and mulligans his hand, but then he sees Kripp’s first minion: Lucentbark. “No, nononono, please, please! Kill me! Just kill me! CHAT! CHAT HELP ME!”
twitch chat
August 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hey guys Saltarian here

twitchquotes: Hey guys Saltarian here, just want to let chat know that in order to survive I need to Feast upon the salt energy that kripp produces upon experiencing a long bout of bad luck. So please snipe and emote him in ways that will evoke his true salt essence. with enough salt I will take control of his scrawny vegan body and I will give chat what they have been waiting for all along...
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as a snow chugger

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a snow chugger. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of chuggering over the plains of Azeroth freezing disgusting hunters. People say to me that a person being a snowchugger is Impossible and I m fuсking retarded but I don t care, I m beautiful. I m having a mech warper install snow plows, salt shakers and whirling blades on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Choo Choo" and respect my right to chugga chugga and freeze needlessly. If you can t accept me you re a mechaphobe and need to check your topdeck privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

More Hearthstone Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing