[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Dex is Kripp's opponent

twitchquotes: "My apologies" Kripp's opponent emotes as he casts fireball on Kripp, ending Kripps arena run. "That guy was so lucky! He curved out every turn, had every answer and topdecked lethal!" Kripp sighs and loads up another arena run. His opponent closes his laptop and thinks "What a scrub. And now for the cherry on top" as his opponent walks out from the other room goes up to Kripp and licks Kripp's arm. "Good doggie" Kripp says "Here's a treat for a good doggie".
twitch chat
October 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Dan from the next room over

twitchquotes: Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you shut the fuck up for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that little card game tournament. Peace out, squirt
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

Kripp's lettuce points

twitchquotes: The year is 2035. Kripp's lettuce points have quickly developed into one of the most valuable crypto currencies in the world. Elsewhere, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, watching Kripp's stream, desperately trying to gamble for some lettuce points. He types "!bet 2 all" in chat, and anxiously awaits the results. Upon seeing Kripp go 0-3, Tanner puts a gun to his head and lets out one final "never lucky" before pulling the trigger.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

Hey Kripp, Dan from HearthArena here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Dan from HearthArena here. Just wanted to let you know we have some updates to our policy for sponsored content. Instead of saying "that guy's deck was crazy", we now suggest our partners use the phrase, "wow, that guy must have used HearthArena™ to get a deck like that!" We're grateful for your continued participation and hope you have a nice day.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

PJSalt = Hs²

twitchquotes: Albert Einstein was desperate. He tried to prove that the luck of Kripp's opponents was within the laws of mathematics. Critics laughed claiming bad luck is divine punishment for embracing casualness. On his deathbed, he spent his last seconds jotting down the most famous formulas, PJSalt = Hs²
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

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