[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
More Hearthstone Copypastas

48 year man from Somalia, sorry for bad England

twitchquotes: ＨＥＬＬＯ ＡＭ ４８ ＹＥＡＲ ＭＡＮ ＦＲＯＭ ＳＯＭＡＬＩＡ． ＳＯＲＲＹ ＦＯＲ ＢＡＤ ＥＮＧＬＡＮＤ． Ｉ ＳＥＬＬＥＤ ＭＹ ＷＩＦＥ ＦＯＲ ＩＮＴＥＲＮＥＴ ＣＯＮＮＥＣＴＩＯＮ ＦＯＲ ＰＬＡＹ ＂ｈｅａｒｔｈ ｓｔｏｎｅ＂ ＡＮＤ Ｉ ＷＡＮＴ ＴＯ ＢＥＣＯＭＥ ＴＨＥ ＧＯＯＤＥＳＴ ＰＬＡＹＥＲ ＬＩＫＥ ＹＯＵ Ｉ ＰＬＡＹ ＷＩＴＨ ４００ ＰＩＮＧ ＯＮ ＢＲＡＺＩＬ ＳＥＲＶＥＲ ＡＮＤ Ｉ ＡＭ ＲＡＮＫ ２３ ＡＬＲＥＡＤＹ ＰＬＳ ＮＯ ＣＯＰＹ ＰＡＳＴＥ ＭＹ ＳＴＯＲＹ
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Hearthstone

Kripp finally picks Pogo

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Kripparian, thank you so much for finally picking Pogo! Ever since you picked Pogo, his grades have gone up, he finally got a girlfriend, and he's stopped masturbating all day in his bedroom. I was certain my little Pogo was going to end up a lifeless virgin loser for his entire life, but your kind actions have put Pogo on a path for success. Thank you, thank you, you have my sincerest gratitude. Much love, Pogo's mom.
twitch chat
June 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Dan from the next room over

twitchquotes: Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you shut the fuck up for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that little card game tournament. Peace out, squirt
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

0-3 Hearthstone Arena Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the 0-3 Police, You're coming with us. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Hearthstone

Intellectually demanding deck

twitchquotes: I scored 160 on the WAIS-IV many years back, at 4 standard deviations from the mean, or at the 99.997th percentile. My childhood IQ score on the SB-LM was 189. Is there a deck that is very intellectually demanding and has an extremely high skill cap that will test my intellect to the very most?
twitch chat
August 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

More Hearthstone Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing