[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

What happened to this ad? :(
More Hearthstone Copypastas

We blizzard care much about the player experience

twitchquotes: We blizzard care much about the player experience. For this reason, we're changing the card Ultimate Infestation as follows: Deal 5 damage, gain 5 armor, summon 3 JADE GOLEMS, Add 5 Jade Idol to your hand. I'm Ben Brode, hope you still like my raps!
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack

twitchquotes: Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack. His fingers were soft and smelled faintly of cucumber. He slowly pulled out the card, caressing it with his fingers. "I didn't expect it to be so big", he said as he looked at the 7/7 stats. "And only 4 mana?" he said and moaned softly.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

I WANT KRIPP TO LOSE

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan I WANT KRIPP TO LOSE FeelsGoodMan I WANT KRIPP TO LOSE FeelsGoodMan I WANT KRIPP TO LOSE FeelsGoodMan
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Can we all stop hating on Amaz for a moment?

twitchquotes: Can we all stop hating on Amaz for a moment? I mean, yes, he is a colossal fake cunt, moneysucking parasite, and selfish prick. But he is one of the few representations of the gay community in Hearthstone.
twitch chat
June 2015

Hearthstone

KappaPride

octavian will come in your room tonight

twitchquotes: hello my name is octavian i died in a falafel accident 10 years ago unless you copy and paste this 10 times i will come in your room tonight and make you go 0-3 i look like a middle-aged salty vegan
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

More Hearthstone Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing