[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

What happened to this ad? :(
More Hearthstone Copypastas

When Kripp gets topdecked, it's seen as a bit of salty fun

twitchquotes: When Kripp gets topdecked, it's seen as a bit of salty fun. BUT when Reynad gets a 420 YOLO Rag Pro 5000 hit to the face with 6 different minions on the board, lethal next turn, together with top-deck skill command with one mana webspinner, he's called Salt God?
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Hearthstone

salty

Corridor creeper

twitchquotes: 🐛In the dungeon I go deeper🐛in set reviews I was a sleeper🐛when minions die I get cheaper🐛You guessed it right🐛I'm corridor creeper🐛
twitch chat
August 2018

Hearthstone

Warrior vs warrior

twitchquotes: HEH, GREETINGS ResidentSleeper ARMOR UP ResidentSleeper ARMOR UP ResidentSleeper I can take the hit ResidentSleeper Welcome to the grand tournament ResidentSleeper TANK UP ResidentSleeper TANK UP ResidentSleeper I'M OUT OF CARDS
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

Hey Kripp! It's Arena...

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! It's Arena... It's been a while, haven't it old buddy? I see that you've been playing Battlegrounds and have completely forgotten about me, even though I was always there for you. Low blow Kripp, hope you finish 8th in all your next games. Toodles!
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

But my heart still isn't as broken as Patron Warrior

twitchquotes: Mʏ ᴡɪғᴇ ᴏғ 20 ʏᴇᴀʀs ʟᴇғᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴀɢᴏ. I ғᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴇɴᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛs ɢʀᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴄᴜsᴛᴏᴅʏ ᴏғ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. Bᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ sᴛɪʟʟ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ᴀs ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴀs ᴘᴀᴛʀᴏɴ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ.
twitch chat
September 2015
strifecro

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing