[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Jade Idol, shuffle 3 more copies into the chat

twitchquotes: :christmas_tree: Jade Idol :christmas_tree: When this card enters the chat, shuffle 3 more copies into the chat :christmas_tree:
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December 2016

Hearthstone

I hate myself and my life

twitchquotes: I hate myself and my life, but instead of improving either of those things, I'm drinking alone while watching a rich, balding vegan play children's card games for 15 thousand other losers FeelsBadMan
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July 2018
Kripp

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Moments later the mine explodes

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December 2014
Forsen

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Kripp will never, ever click the button

twitchquotes: Kripp will never, ever click the button. The expansions will release at a faster rate than he can collect dust. Much like the contents of the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, the button is merely a carrot Kripp dangles in front of his viewers without any intention of actually delivering. This is blatantly obvious - he even admits he doesn't bother to calculate because he knows he'll never click it. We will spam this pasta until the button has been clicked.
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September 2016
Kripp

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DRAW IS BAD HAND IS SUCKY

twitchquotes: BabyRage DRAW IS BAD BabyRage HAND IS SUCKY BabyRage ALWAYS SECOND BabyRage NEVER LUCKY BabyRage
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August 2017

Hearthstone

neverlucky

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