[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

What happened to this ad? :(
More Hearthstone Copypastas

There is no need to be angry

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, "Truesilver Champion" is a common rarity card! This means that there are many chances during an arena draft to choose it compared to the rare, epic or legendary cards! It is not unreasonable for a Paladin deck to have 1 or more of "Truesilver Champion" so there is no need to be angry!
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

I'm gonna play this perfectly. Kripp misses lethal.

twitchquotes: Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Obey the call of Kel'Thuzad!

twitchquotes: ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ　Ｍｉｎｉｏｎｓ，　ｓｅｒｖａｎｔｓ，　ｓｏｌｄｉｅｒｓ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｃｏｌｄ　ｄａｒｋ，　ｏｂｅｙ　ｔｈｅ　ｃａｌｌ　ｏｆ　Ｋｅｌ’Ｔｈｕｚａｄ！ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Or I will be forced to call the 0-3 Police

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparrian, this is Reginald. It has come to my attention that you went 0-3 in Hearthstone arena. This is completely unacceptable and detrimental to the image of Team Solo Mid. Remove any and all affiliation with TSM and "BayLife" or I will be forced to call the 0-3 Police.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Moments later the mine explodes

twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Hearthstone

More Hearthstone Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing