[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Hearthstone Copypastas

Prize pool of 4 potatoes

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is Boris Ilya Pistolento. I'm from a small village in cold Siberia. For many years I dreamed of a profession, Cardstone player! But tetris all I can do. One day a trucker was crash in the back of the house of mine and a box fell out. It was the commodore 64, my dreaming is comming to reality. Now I can join the local tournamento, the prize pool of which 4 potatoes. Please no Copy-Pasta!
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Hearthstone

I'm gonna play this perfectly. Kripp misses lethal.

twitchquotes: Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike? My friend is a developer at Blizzard and he invented Flamestrike. He has been getting spam letters in the mail threatening to "brofist" him. These spammers claim to be "insane" and "crazy" and "have exactly what they need to beat him." I am worried for him, please help. Thanks man.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp doesn't topdeck, cards just manifest in his hand

twitchquotes: Stop it guys, Kripp doesn't topdeck cards, they just manifest in his hand, only his opponents draw from the top of their decks Kappa
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion

twitchquotes: Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing