[Copypasta] James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
More Hearthstone Copypastas

Obey the call of Kel'Thuzad!

twitchquotes: α•™ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•—γ€€οΌ­ο½‰ο½Žο½‰ο½ο½Žο½“οΌŒγ€€ο½“ο½…ο½’ο½–ο½ο½Žο½”ο½“οΌŒγ€€ο½“ο½ο½Œο½„ο½‰ο½…ο½’ο½“γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½„γ€€ο½„ο½ο½’ο½‹οΌŒγ€€ο½ο½‚ο½…ο½™γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½Œγ€€ο½ο½†γ€€οΌ«ο½…ο½Œβ€™οΌ΄ο½ˆο½•ο½šο½ο½„οΌα•™ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•—
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌβ–€ΜΏ ΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏΰΌ½ This is Blizzard, Forsen. We've detected reduced gaming time of our game, Hearth of Stone from you and therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty. ΰΌΌβ–€ΜΏ ΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏΰΌ½
twitch chat
May 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

Hello Kripp, proud brony here

twitchquotes: 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎 Hello Kripp, proud brony here. I was just wondering if you could played the "dreadsteed" deck as it reminds me of my waifu Twilight Sparkle. Thanks, it would mean soooo much to me (βœΏβ˜―β€Ώβ˜―βœΏ) 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Value Town was within reach

twitchquotes: Trump couldn’t wait. Value Town was within reach and he moaned, hard, β€œTuck Frump!” He was fidgety, yet Kripparrian stripped away his juvenile briefs. β€œHe has the perfect cards…” Kripp thought in his head, β€œAn absolutely ridiculous deck.” Cattarrian stared casually as Kripp bounced his Ragnaros off of Trump’s plump rump.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Hearthstone

My son, why did you tap last?

twitchquotes: In Romanian village there is very little water. Papparian is thirsty and asks Kripparian to get some water for him from the water tap 2 miles away. Kripp decides to go to the store first. A few hours later Kripp brings Papparian his water, only to find Papparian has had a heat stroke. With his dying breath, Papparian asks "My son, why did you tap last?"
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing