[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

hafu you keep calling your boyfriend dog

twitchquotes: hey hafu i saw that u keep calling your boyfriend "dog". as a new viewer this is kinda off putting and gives the vibe that u hate men. is it possible to call him david instead
twitch chat
June 2019
Hafu

GROUP HUG

twitchquotes: \BibleThump/\BibleThump/ *GROUP HUG* \BibleThump/\BibleThump/ *GROUP HUG* \BibleThump/\BibleThump/
twitch chat
February 2015
Reynad

I despise any streamer that isn't MOONMOON

twitchquotes: I despise with a burning acidic passion any streamer that isn't MOONMOON. Every night I print out an 8.5 x 11" picture of a streamer that is not MOONMOON and wipe my ass with it.Honestly, anyone who watches any streamer except forMOONMOON deserves to be tarred, and feathered, then burned at the stake. That's how fucking much I HATE stramers. (Besides MOONMOON, of course).
twitch chat
March 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

I fucking hate the word poggers

I fucking hate the word poggers. It's not funny, it's not quirky, it's stupid. It's just an Asian man going gasp!. It is not funny and I do not enjoy looking at it. Whenever someone says poggers out loud I'm just like "I get it you use fucking twitch.
December 2020

I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing