[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack

twitchquotes: Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack. His fingers were soft and smelled faintly of cucumber. He slowly pulled out the card, caressing it with his fingers. "I didn't expect it to be so big", he said as he looked at the 7/7 stats. "And only 4 mana?" he said and moaned softly.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

My chat experience is ruined with dinger spam

twitchquotes: I for one am glad submode is on. I pay $4.99 USD a month to watch the living legend, Michael "iamacutepie" Santana, and I feel my experience is ruined with "dinger" spam, whatever that means.
twitch chat
September 2014
imaqtpie

Michael Santano, you are a big SELLOUT

twitchquotes: Hello Micheal Santano,this is President Obama,just wanted to tell you,you are a big S E L L O U T,I used to raise my donger to you sir but no longer,do not copy this post or I will NSA your butt.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was β€œpregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020

It's EXAM WEEK

twitchquotes: It's EXAM WEEK 😀😀 and it's TIME ⏱⏱ to WHIP OUT 😯😯 your EDUCATION ERECTIONS πŸŽ’πŸ“šπŸ†πŸ† and FUCK THESE FINALS πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰. That's RIGHT, get READY to BOOTYCALL πŸ‘πŸ“ž your SLUTTY STUDY BUDDIES 😏😏 and HIT πŸ‘ŠπŸ‘Š the BOOKS πŸ“˜πŸ“—πŸ“™till your BRAIN 🧠🧠 is RUBBED RAW 😫😫 and your PEN πŸ–ŠπŸ–Šis DRY 😡😡. So let's put the CUM in CUMULATIVE πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ and do this THING πŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ. Send this to 11 of the SKANKIEST 🀀🀀 SCHOLARS you know or you will LITERALLY get F'D! 😱😱
twitch chat
December 2019

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