[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Please quit calling it "Victory Fap"

twitchquotes: Would you guys please quit calling it "Victory Fap"? I find it very offensive, and I'm sure Rania does too, that you think Kripp can only become aroused through dominance in a child's card game. Please grow up chat, thanks
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019

Evil Jerma

⠉⠉⠉⣿⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣻⣩⣉⠉⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠉⠉⠉⣋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⢷⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣾⣿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣄⣢⣤⣤⣾⣿⡀⠄ ⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⢁⣠ ⣿⣿⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⣉⣉⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣥⡀⠉⢁⡥⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⢹⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠛⢻⣿⣿⣷⢀⡭⣤⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⡼⣿⠷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣠⣿⣟⢷⢾⣊⠄⠄ ⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣈⣉⣭⣽⡿⠟⢉⢴⣿⡇⣺⣿⣷ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠐⢊⣡⣴⣾⣥⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
July 2022
Jerma985

HandsUp

⣿⣻⢹⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⠽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠫⡏⡿ ⡏⠋⠘⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣿⡿⠋⠁⢀⣸⣝⣯⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠃⢳ ⡇⠀⠀⢘⣱⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠾⣻⣿⠏⠿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡛⠀⠀⢸ ⣿⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠊⠉⢡⣠⣶⣶⣿⡏⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡶⠀⣾ ⣿⠁⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⣸⢁⡾⠿⢿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⣿ ⣿⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠟⢻⠀⠀⠀⢹⡿⠶⢿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⡂⠈⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿
ascii art
September 2020

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

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