[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

All hail Kripparrian of the House TSM

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ Hear, hear. All hail Kripparrian of the House TSM, the First of His Name, The One With No Life, King of Wraeclast, Prince of the Docks, Papparrian of the First Men, Emperor of the Great Sarn Sea, Breaker of DeSync, and Father of Cattarian, RIP, First and Last of His Name. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Chika dance

⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢀⣴⡾⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠺⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣴⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⢸⣿⣿⠟⣴⣿⡿⡟⡼⢹⣷⢲⡶⣖⣾⣶⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⢫⣾⣿⡟⣾⡸⢠⡿⢳⡿⠍⣼⣿⢏⣿⣷⢄⡀⠄⢠⣾⢻⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⣡⣿⣿⡟⡼⡁⠁⣰⠂⡾⠉⢨⣿⠃⣿⡿⠍⣾⣟⢤⣿⢇⣿⢇⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣱⣿⣿⡟⡐⣰⣧⡷⣿⣴⣧⣤⣼⣯⢸⡿⠁⣰⠟⢀⣼⠏⣲⠏⢸⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠟⣁⠄⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣼⢟⢀⡼⠃⡹⠃⡀⢸⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⢀⣾⠋⠓⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣾⣅⢔⣕⡇⡇⡼⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣ ⣿⡟⠄⠄⣾⣇⠷⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣀⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿⡇⡧⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣾ ⣿⡇⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⠇⠄⠄⢿⣿⡇⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣼⣿ ⣿⣷⢰⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣧⣀⡄⢀⠘⡿⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣼⣿⣿ ⢹⣿⢸⣿⣿⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣉⣤⣿⢈⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣾⣹⣿⣿ ⢸⠇⡜⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣱⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢳⠃⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣰⡗⠹⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣅⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⣾⡌⢠⣿⡿⠃ ⠜⠋⢠⣷⢻⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣥⣾⣿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠄⠄
April 2019

Weebs

I sexually identify as a priest player

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a priest player. Everyday I dream about flying into ranked games and conceding to rank 25 players. Call me retarded. I don't care. I'm beautiful. I'm getting plastic surgery to get my minions silenced for 2 mana. You can now refer to me as Anduinn and respect my right to concede on turn 1. If you can't accept me you're a holy-phobe and need to check your concede privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2016

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

Do British people even exist?

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
December 2020

British People

Classic

We Live In A Society

We Live In A Society in which us Gamers are ridiculed, mocked, shunned, bullied and ridiculed for simply choosing to undertake a hobby which requires critical thinking, lightning-fast reflexes and JUST AN OUNCE (in case you can’t tell, that is an understatement) more brainpower than what is required your typical ball game. However, females, in their backwards and downright unreasonable thinking, see us as bottom-dwelling, subhuman freaks and would rather settle for the bottom line of evolution, aka jocks (or “Chad”). In order for Our Society to progress, this mindset must be completely eradicated and us Gamers, with our genetic high intelligence, impeccable combat knowledge and indescribable reasoning skills, must be allowed to impregnate females of our choosing with our seed. If this current course continues, humanity as a whole will be plagued with low-IQ specimens and unsatisfactory evolutionary progress. Do you think that extraterrestrial, intellectuals beings will look upon us as a species, no, as a SOCIETY, to be communed with, to be seen as EQUALS, if our highest evolutionary success is measured by how far you can throw a ball? Don’t make me laugh, sir. Aside from your basic genetic and evolutionary advantages to be gained by having females (of our choosing) breed with us Gamers, we can also assure that they will be treated like the Goddesses that we see them as. No more will they be spending countless nights being physically abused and emotionally destroyed by your Common Chad. They will be shown courteous treatment of the highest quality by a true Gentlemen. Instead of Chad taking Stacy out to a restaurant, only to leave her the bill and abandon her that very same night to coitally engage with Veronica, they will be subjected to sublime culinary delights, tender strips selected from the finest breed of Poultry your normie brain could not even begin to comprehend, personelly delivered to my safe haven beneath my mother’s residence, paid for in currency I am earned by doing simple, gentlemenly duties for my beloved Matriarch. And she will euphorically enjoy her meal as I give her the foot massage she had craved for so long, a simple pleasure denied by the very selfish and obsolete mind of Chad. So you see, the next time you seek to inquire if our movement is mere “satire”, You may wish to simply stop. Just stop, and instead of mocking us Gamers, perhaps try, as futile as it may be, to engage in intelligent discussion to the level of our satisfaction. Because you see, their time is coming. The age of the Chad is over. The age of the Gamers is upon us. Gamers Rise Up.
March 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing