[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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TriHard

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–„โ–‘ โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–Œ โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–“โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

BURGERS I EAT ALL DAY

twitchquotes: OpieOP BURGERS I EAT ALL DAY OpieOP LEAGUE OF LEGENDS I CANNOT PLAY OpieOP EU STAR PLAYERS I HAVE TO PAY OpieOP PROPER HEALTHCARE AN OCEAN AWAY OpieOP YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT OpieOP IM NA OpieOP
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

EU vs NA

TSM, also known as "Throw Some More"

TSM, also known as "Throw Some More" is a North American cyber sports organization internationally recognized for their ability to lose any game from a winning position
April 2021

League of Legends

Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile and I would like to sponsor you and your channel. If this deal goes through you can make a lot of salt from our overflowing salt mines. From what I hear, salt is a hot commodity nowadays. Forever yours, Felipe Gomez
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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