[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Hosty and Amaz

twitchquotes: "Hey Hosty, I've got some bad news." says Amaz to Hosty. "But I wasn't ghosting I swear!" he replies, sweating heavily. "It's alright, I won't fire you, as long as you do something for me." Hosty knows what Amaz wants. He bends over and lets Amaz have his way. Afterwards, as he cries on the bed, Amaz whispers in his ear, "I lied. You're fired..
twitch chat
January 2015
Amaz

President's Day Emoji Pasta

ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธtime to hop onto that founding father dick๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿปor should i say founding DADDIES!!!๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ out here tryna get rammed from behind ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘harder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMOREโ˜„๏ธโ˜„๏ธโ›ฐ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”george washington mightve been able to survive the harsh โ„๏ธโ„๏ธ๐ŸŒฌwinters๐ŸŒฌโ„๏ธโ„๏ธ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheets๐ŸŒช๐Ÿ’‘โ“โ“โ“be the monica Lewinsky ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปto my bill clinton๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ baby and i wont deny i had ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†โ™‹๏ธsexual relationsโ™‹๏ธ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ† with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programs๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธโœ๐Ÿปsend this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSES๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผwho will throw the nastiest neck๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐ŸŒฌ๐Ÿ’ฆ on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAY๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿšจโค๏ธ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonight๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ
February 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

President's Day

Young Sheldon is better than Rick and Morty

"Rick and Morty"? Only a plebeian worm such as yourself would engage in viewing broadcasts of such a sad and idiotic show. Unlike you low IQ apes, I please my optical sensors with only the finest of entertainment. I'll bet that you're inquiring as to what source of entertainment I am referring to. Although I don't expect you to comprehend it, the television show in question is "Young Sheldon". You see, the humor is vastly superior to that of "Rick and Morty". First of all "Rick and Morty" relies heavily on improvisional comedy, while the intellectual humor of "Young Sheldon" is scripted and well thought out before being presented to an audience. Second of all "Rick and Morty" is extremely unfaithful to its source material (Back to the Future, for you simpletons) while "Young Sheldon" is just as good if not better than watching "The Big Bang Theory". I could go on and on about how "Rick and Morty" is vastly inferior to "Young Sheldon" but I highly doubt that you have the mental capability to process such logic. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pour a glass of brandy whilst I redigest the latest episode of "Young Sheldon" so I can make an entry about it to the "Young Sheldon" wikia. Hopefully, I can forget about ever having the displeasure of interacting with you.*Sighs... How tedious.
December 2020

Rick and Morty

Guys don't be mean to Tides!

twitchquotes: Guys don't be mean to Tides! Blizzard has hired him to figure out how many legends there are by losing as many ranks as possible. Pls no copypasta.
twitch chat
February 2015
TidesOfTime

An automated message from Blizzard Entertainment to Athene

twitchquotes: Greetings, AtheneLIVE! This is an automated message from Blizzardโ„ข Entertainment. You are receiving this message because our Hearthstoneโ„ข AI has flagged your account due to an unusual number of ranked game losses. We recommend that you use the "Suggested Card" feature before progressing any further. Thanks - The Blizzardโ„ข Team.
twitch chat
July 2014
AtheneLIVE
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