[Copypasta] Blizzard has been working hard on Diablo Immortal

twitchquotes: This chat is so ungrateful. Blizzard has been working so hard crunching hours to develop a new Diablo game for their long-term fans, giving it an extra Blizzard polish and publishing it on the world's most popular gaming console, Mobile, to enable many of their fans to be able to play. Yet these same "fans" demand a "better" game. How can a game be "better", when a game is a game? smh beta nerds these days.
twitch chat
November 2018
Blizzard's Diablo Immortal announcement at Blizzcon was highly unpopular
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Trump gave Katie Kripp's MITHRIL ARMOR

twitchquotes: Hello "Kripp" ...or should I say COCKTAVIAN. Guess who? YEAH. It's KATIE. From HIGH SCHOOL. Ever since you left me to play this stupid game, me and Trump have decided to continue playing Runescape WITHOUT YOU. And guess what? He gave me your MITHRIL ARMOR. Have fun playing this stupid card game, JERK!.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Wow! I love Verizonβ„’!

twitchquotes: Wow! I love Verizonβ„’! I’m glad that the internet is so free! Isn’t it great to say whatever you want and have your opinion represented equally across the internet! It’s really great! Good thing Verizon has spent millions on having that removed I’m sure they won’t abuse it! Thank you Verizonβ„’! I love Verizonβ„’! Don’t you love Verizonβ„’?! Say it! Say it! Say you love Verizonβ„’! Can’t you see they’re protecting us from all those small businesses who want to steal a fraction of their market?! Don’t you hate those people disagreeing with you?! I sure love Verizonβ„’! Thank you Verizonβ„’! Thank you for sticking your gold plated rusty knives up our asses and looking us dead in the eyes and saying β€œthis is what’s best for a free and open internet” and slowly twisting it deeper and deeper until we eventually just give out and shit money into your fat wallets!
twitch chat
December 2017

Net Neutrality

Copy tagliatelli vs Copy pasta

twitchquotes: This is a campaign from Tagliatelli. We have been noticing sales drops as a result of people's choice of regular pasta rather than the much more tasty tagliatelli. Would you all please stop spreading copy pasta and start copy tagliatelli?
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Shaggy Doo

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
ascii art
September 2021
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