[Copypasta] Blizzard has been working hard on Diablo Immortal

twitchquotes: This chat is so ungrateful. Blizzard has been working so hard crunching hours to develop a new Diablo game for their long-term fans, giving it an extra Blizzard polish and publishing it on the world's most popular gaming console, Mobile, to enable many of their fans to be able to play. Yet these same "fans" demand a "better" game. How can a game be "better", when a game is a game? smh beta nerds these days.
twitch chat
November 2018
Blizzard's Diablo Immortal announcement at Blizzcon was highly unpopular
I used to be a real ad
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AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife? Okay, little background. My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald. My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through. Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation. My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole. What do you think?
April 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Will Smith Slap

Just hit gold and I feel really dangerous IRL

twitchquotes: Last night I hit Gold rank in League of Legends, Summoner's Rift for the first time. Today, when I went on my walk to my standard retail job, idk I felt like I had this new edge to me that wasn't there before. I went from a triangle to a square pretty much. Have any other LoL overachievers ever felt this way before? It's like my rank is strapped to my waist and now whenever people are at risk of passing me on the sidewalk, they skirt over to the other side in a tizzy. At work, someone tried to shoplift some Almond Joy. When I caught him, I yelled "hey!" And he looked at me and scoffed, like, "whatever dude, don't be a hero." I put a hand on my hip and said "I'm not a hero, I'm a jungler." He dropped the candy bar and ran to his getaway vehicle. I recorded the plate and called the police.
twitch chat
January 2020

League of Legends

TSM logo

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⠟⠋⠄⣠⡄⠄⣿⣿⠄⢠⣄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣷⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⠋⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⠟⠄⣠⣾⣿⠟⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡟⢿⣿⣷⣄⠙⢻⣿⣦⠄⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⠋⠄⣾⣿⠟⠁⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⢻⣿⣧⠄ ⣾⣿⡟⠄⣼⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠹⣿⣇⠈⢿⣿⣇ ⣿⣿⠁⢀⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣄⠄⢿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⠟⢀⣿⣿⠋ ⠈⣿⣿⣄⠈⢿⣿⣄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⡟⠄⣼⣿⡟⠄ ⠄⠈⣿⣿⣄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⠄⣴⣿⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣧⡀⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⠸⠋⠄⣠⣾⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⠈⠙⠃⠄⣿⣿⠄⠈⠁⠄⣴⣾⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
November 2020

NA, aka "Not Advancing"

twitchquotes: NA, aka "Not Advancing" is a region known for their brief yearly appearance in the group stage of worlds, where they manage to disappoint despite having zero expectations
twitch chat
October 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss

In Japan 🇯🇵 , heart surgeon ❤️👨‍⚕️ . Number one 😭☝️ . Steady hand😳✋️. One day, Yakuza boss 🙇🏻need 🆕 heart💘. I do operation🔪⚔️. But, mistake😱! Yakuza boss die😵😪! Yakuza very mad👿. I hide🙈 in fishing boat🐟🚣🏻‍♀️, come to America🎇🎊🇺🇸. No english🤐, no food😩, no money📉🚫💲. Darryl 👨🏿give me job🙌👨🏻‍💼. Now I have house🏡, American car 🚗 , and new woman 🆕👱🏻‍♀️. Darryl 👨🏿save life⛑. My big secret🙊: I kill ☠️yakuza boss on purpose😈. I good 👍surgeon. The best👌💯!
July 2019

Emoji Pasta

Classic

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