[Copypasta] Now Playing: Despacito

twitchquotes: ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Despacito ───────────────⚪─────────────────── ◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►►⠀⠀ ⠀ 1:17 / 3:48 ⠀ ───○ 🔊⠀ ᴴᴰ ⚙ ❐ ⊏⊐
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

Kripp play game for REAL man like Counterstrike Go!

twitchquotes: Privyet, Komrade Kripp! Is your cousin Dmitri from Mother Russia! I am of hearing that you make much moneys by playing simplistic card game for toddlers and whining like little baby in front of thousands of simpletons! BLYAT! You should play game for REAL man like Counterstrike Go! Already I am recruit by man with enormous forehead for professional team Tampon Storm and will be winning many tournaments, yes! Don't be a cyka, you capitalist pig, and stop crying like baby! Love, Dmitri.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

Moon emoji blob

🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🎩🌕🌕🌕 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌕 🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌓🌕 🌕🌕🌖🌑👁🌑👁🌓🌕 🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑👄🌑🌔🌕 🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌒🌕🌕 🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑🎀🌓🌕🌕 🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌔🌕🌕 🌕🌕🌘🌔🍆🌑🌕🌕🌕 🌕🌖🌒🌕🌗🌒🌕🌕🌕 🌕🌗🌓🌕🌗🌓🌕🌕🌕 🌕🌘🌔🌕🌗🌓🌕🌕🌕 🌕👠🌕🌕🌕👠🌕🌕🌕
February 2021

Classic

Vegan Propaganda

twitchquotes: KKona Howdy Kripp, my name is Bill and I work in the meat industry. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of all the vegan propaganda you're spreading on this here livestream. You rave about the health benefits of becoming a leaf-muncher, but look at you! You're a pale, scrawny, hallowed-out husk of a man. Hell, you probably can't even lift up a hamburger with those pitiful arms of yours. If you don't stop hating on meat, I'm gonna come by in my truck and force-feed you my "giant sausage!"
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

Classic

I have gotten the covid vaccine about 20 times now

I have gotten the covid vaccine about 20 times now. 4 Pfizer, 12 moderna, 4 Johnson. Once I got my first vaccine, I started cravings for it. There is something so great knowing I am reducing the spread of the coronavirus with each of them. I am feeling so empowered. I think I may be addicted ngl :sweat_smile:. At least it won't kill me.
June 2021

Coronavirus

Classic

COVID

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing