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FACEBOOK OUTDATED PRIVACY OVERRATED LONG HAVE WE AWAITED NSA ACTIVATED
FACEBOOK OUTDATED PRIVACY OVERRATED LONG HAVE WE AWAITED NSA ACTIVATED
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(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing
I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
This offends me as a...
twitchquotes:
This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
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Bikini cleavage
Only the chosen one can stack these cans!
twitchquotes:
Only the chosen one can stack these cans! 
but wait can you do three cans! !!
Only the chosen one can stack these cans! but wait can you do three cans! !!
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Classic
Hello Mr. Santana this is Michelle Obama
twitchquotes:
Hello Mr. Santana this is Michelle Obama, i'm loving your stream but all this feeding is making USA looks like garbage, i'm sending my husband (BARACK OBAMA) to shut you down.
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imaqtpie