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I don't know why people have to copy/paste other people messages. It makes no sense!
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Harambe Rick Harrison
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Hi. I'm Harambe, and this is my Zoo. I live here with my old zookeeper and banana, Big Yellow. Everything in here has a heart and a mind. One thing I've learned after 17 years - you never know WHAT is gonna come over that enclosure.
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Rick Harrison
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Harambe
I hate gaming laptops
Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie
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He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. βUnder the Biden administration,β he says, carefully βThere will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,β The crowd gasps. βEveryone will have to eat McDonalds,β Jill hangs her head in shame. βYou may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.β An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words βBut it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.β Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
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